Well we won't be a one-time client. We have a master bath and kitchen remodels we need to do and will do within the next 5 years (MBath in 2- years and kitchen about 4-5). I've mentioned that to her and we're actively saving for them now... However, future partnerships will depend on how this project comes out.

I would have to ask about the nature of your issues with the contractor. I work with some great ones, and some good ones, and they all have some minor issues because they are human. I would not continue to refer someone who did poor work. I do refer someone who does average work, at a below average price, because I have customers that demand that. But, I don't mislead them that they are getting a top notch contractor for their project. I will tell them the skills and expertise level of everyone on the list, with my personal recommendation as to their project level match, and then let them make the decision as to whom to call.

They are not a bargain contractor and we're probably a small project (30K) for them. Most of the subs are great but this contractor does not have a project manager. So I have to send regular queries regarding who is coming to my home each day(names and times, trade), have they ordered the materials to be ready for a particular task to be done, I've had to send pictures to show work done incorrectly; not building materials to their own specs. I'm always having to confirm that work is on track or dependencies are being considered. I've kept the designer included but when they aren't forthcoming or don't follow through I expect an advocate on our behalf.

Unfortunately, many contractors are not good communicators, and everything on your list goes back to that. Is the designer involved in this construction phase at all? Or what was her role beyond that of a referral?

The only item that I would not personally think reasonable to expect would be the list of names coming to the house each day. That is not usually expected, or even possible for some days. Everything else goes back to being adequate as a contractor, but poor as a communicator. Perhaps you could shift to mainly email communication to assist in a written record for both of you.

I wouldn't ask her whether she gets a kickback or referral fee from the contractor. But I would express my concerns to her in a professional manner. Something like, "I felt like, on XYZ issue, you defended the contractor instead of advocating for me, the customer. I want to feel like you're looking out for my interests, but when you defend him, I worry that you're not." And let her respond.

One issue is that just because someone is a designer, they may not have as high a level of criteria for quality that you have. I had someone who was a decent designer rave about a contractor who had done work for them, and I did not think their work was good at all.

I usually have the opposite problem, I am not happy with the execution by contractors selected by my clients, and the clients think it's fine, so I have to stop interfering.

@live_wire_oak I work from home so have been here for the entire project. Since I'm on conference calls off and on throughout the day, I like to know that Steve the electrical guy will be there around 9 or John the plumber will show up after lunch. I also want to avoid opening my door/home to a random person who may not be associated with the project. So I think having that information is a safety issue.

@palimpsest you make a good point. I have stressed that DH and I have high expectations and that we will inspect work. Maybe her "high" standards do not correlate with ours so there's a disconnect.

Asking whether there is compensation (monetary or other) is a fair question when deciding whether to work with a recommended contractor. It is a consideration with respect to loyalty. In many professions (lawyer, cpa, etc.) conflict of interest is a very big issue and laws are in place to ensure proper disclosure to clients. Even though designers are not currently regulated in that manner, being an educated client is completely appropriate IMO.