I LOVE being alone. My husband and I are retired . . I am in and out a lot . . he is mostly in. I wish he would leave the house more so I could have the house to myself. I LOVE being alone with my thoughts and just doing what I want to do.

jkstick,

Yes!
Im pretty sure that's how Home Depot was invented.... wives creating little emergencies for husbands... "honey, this special screw is missing, the lightbulb is dead and we have no spare......" :)

so true...retired men need part-time jobs....or long fishing trips, etc......

Sometimes you can have too much togetherness. My sister has a long Honey Do list for her retired husband...I think those fishing trips have helped a lot, too.

As a retired wife with a retired husband who is gone almost as much now as when he was working, I can vouch for the fact that there can also be too much UNtogetherness! Somehow I had these visions that when we were both retired we'd go places whenever the spirit moved us, take day trips whenever, go to a matinee at the spur of the moment, and that he'd spend much of his time doing those little Honey Do jobs that I'd think up, picking away at tweaking our house. (He's a retired cabinetmaker.) It was quite the wake up call to find that his time away from the house was pretty well filled with social activities (card games, golf leagues, bowling teams, fishing, etc.). It was also disappointing to realize that he's no longer interested in building or renovating anything, as he did for a living. He advised me that when he retired, he was finished with that kind of work. He's always had a hard time sitting still and found he had to fill his time tightly in order to be comfortable. I'm not the social butterfly type, and many of his interests differ from mine. So for many years since we retired I have him home all weekend, as it used to be, but booked during the week. If I plan something ahead, as we had to do when we were both working, he can schedule it in. But there's little in the way of spontaneous traipsing about together for us. Some of my women friends have told me how lucky I am, that their retired husbands get underfoot and quiet time alone is scarce. As long as his health holds out, I don't expect that's going to happen to us. In honesty, I don't mind it too much the way its worked out. I do need a lot of down time alone. But now and then when I get an idea of an activity or place we could hop in the car and go to together that day, it's disappointing that he is already booked.

Wow! That is a different perspective, and food for thought. Retirement can be quite a transition for many couples. As a former golf/basketball widow, nothing got done around our house--the roof leaked, the lawn didn't get mowed, unless I did it, and due to his active social and sports schedule, I was never more lonely and isolated in my life. Sometimes that happens when an extrovert and and introvert get together. Now that I have lived alone for many years, I rarely get lonely. It's good you have cultivated your own friendships and interests!

We aren't yet retired, but my husband is an obsessed fisherman & thankfully we live up here where there is enough fishing to satisfy him. It also gives me my alone time, when he takes our two boys who are still in school. With all three fishing we keep our freezer well stocked & our smoker working.

Talon, your life and marriage sounds like mine, and my other half retires this year and I am dreading it now. All the things in the house that do not get finished and the running of the house is up to me. when he was away for two weeks he never asked if I was ok on my own. in Fact if any noise during the night and the dogs bark it is me that gets up and checks, while he lies asleep snoring. MEN

..0

I am sorry to say that the dogs in my life have made me much happier than I ever was at that time.

I had two wonderful cocker spaniels (brother and sister) who have been gone over 7 years. I have not had a dog since. I am alone and am thinking it is time. I have enjoyed my freedom but how nice would it be to have such a loyal companion!!!!

Consider a female English Shepherd.

• -Female will focus on you vs territory
• -A watch dog vs guard dog
• -About 50 pounds
• -Wants order vs compete to be the alpha
• -Herds by sight vs nipping at heels / hocks.
• -Nice coat of fur that is like Teflon for dirt.
• -We exercise ours with a frisbee.
• -In top 10 of intelligent breeds. (aligns with Border Collie)
• Get a young puppy so you can socialize her

(My first dog bite was at 7yo from a cocker spaniel. I was sitting in a lawn chair hanging my arm off the side and did not know the dog was under the chair.)

Best wishes,

2313piper. We have a border collie, fantastic, loyal and very obedient, but has its own mind and very protective of me when out . At home she seems to hear the least little sound and is very aware of her surroundings and any change. So well recommend one. I have had a few dogs but this one is just about right for a female

. Oh yes she is spoilt but we do know she is a dog and is treated as one. She sits and listen's to me yamming on and we discuss things though, her eyes show her intelligence wow, and boy does she know my moods. And is quite happy with a routine and two outings a day of half an hour, and a game of football in the garden. Also likes her comfort, this is Amber after her evening walk

Thank you, Jan Turner. You are blessed to have your collie in your life. I hope to have a dog in the very near future!!

Schnauzers here, two girls.... they make me laugh out loud every day.
Extremely smart and great sound detectors
Obedient though opinionated
Don't shed
Don't smell
Great at keeping me grounded re what is important and what is not....
And I am never scared at night.

I really like the laugh out loud part!!!!

I grew up with Border Collies. They are so smart & love to have a job or duty to perform. Ours were trained for working cattle & they would even work sheep if we needed them to & some can become obsessive over things like water from hoses or any kind of ball, if they aren't kept stimulated. Guess that's why they make such good candidates for obstacle courses. They can also become guardy. When dad was out he had at least one in the back of the pickup while he was out doing his ranch chores & such & while they were chained in, we had a few that would get to the end of their chain in a split second if someone they didn't know got too close to the pickup. My brother's Border Collie was very guardy & he would go after the UPS or mailman if he wasn't in the backyard, in the house or if someone was out with him in the yard, when they or someone he didn't know well showed up. It's odd I was hardly around but he never once barked or got into the "not sure I know you so STOP!" stance, but my SIL's brother & their mom & dad he would hackle up first thing then relax when my brother or one of them spoke.

Anyway, we have 1 Border Collie right now, Mike, he belongs to my husband. I have 2 Bloodhounds (Andy & Clem, short for Clementine) & a French Mastiff, Grady. We also have a couple of Heinz 57 rescues, Abner & Jeff. They are also very smart & "watchful". They love going out with my husband & his Border Collie........

By the way, dad has always said that the best alarm system you can buy is a goose, or geese. We always had 2 or 3 when I was growing up.

38240. blimey where do you live? lol , when my daughter comes with her two dogs, I find three dogs and a cat stalking them drive me mad. Mind you two years ago my daughter lived with us for a year and then we had three dogs, two cats and a rat and hamster. Trying to keep the cage ones safe and all the fur and dog hair on the floor cleaned up was a right ///// well lost for words Just as well we love animals, makes you wonder, WHO rules the house, mind you nobody could enter the house unnoticed at any time!!!

If I owned a ranch and did not have to work, I would totally surround myself with animals!!

Geez, has this gotten off track or what? Animals and retirement/psychological issues. . .??

Jan Turner: I grew up in Oregon, living in Alaska now!

38240 oh how lovely, we are at the stage in life that where we are living we cannot believe the change in the town, now not safe to leave doors unlocked even when in the house. We have the dogs for an alarm systems as well as company, so dogs have gone from being just a pet and part of the family to being a guard dog as well.

Are you on FB. cheeky question

After being married 30 years, becoming divorced and single was like not having air to breath. Years later, I find it comforting that I only have myself to answer to (and God). I also enjoy having control of the remote, the recliner and TV. I eat when I feel like it, what I feel like, I go where I want to go, and I sleep or not sleep according to my whims. I am amused when people say they do not want to die alone. I have news for them: unless they die in a wreck, they will be dying alone. I don't feel alone, although there is no one here in a physical sense. I'll be downsizing next year, and looking forward to a simpler life. My life is blessed and I fear nothing.

You will LOVE downsizing as you will have more time to enjoy your new life. Take your time with your search for a new home as it will become your very own haven. Good luck and enjoy searching!!

I love being alone, I get to do what I need, without being distracted. I don't like having people around. Even though we live in a "gated Community", I am always glad to have hubby in bed right next to me when I am reading a THRILLER!

I have a big house and I like having other people in it. I do enjoy being alone in my spaces. With 4 dogs I am never alone and do not worry about break ins.

i can't think of any reason to fear. so no, i'm not afraid to be home alone, though that so rarely happens. we keep a locked gate at the end of our driveway, which is about one mile long. we live off a gravel road,....10 miles from the nearest town, of 600. there are six portuguese water dogs in the house at night, and running around the farm during the day. they bark like holy hell whenever we have worker-people around....and most everyone who comes...well...they are very respectful of the dogs, won't even get out of their vehicles.

i'm a trainer. it's so funny, but when i tell the dogs to plotz, all of them, immediately drop to a laying down position. they are so well controlled that i think that actually scares people even more than when they are loose and just barking. something about that control.... i suppose people think that if i wanted to i could 'sic' the dogs on them! i've never said nor implied that my dogs are trained to attack. and they aren't! but....i've also never tried to undo workmen's erroneous impression either. it does work to my benefit.

In this case this saying is very applicable, "what they don't know will not hurt them!".

eightpoundfarm, can I come and visit? LOL

I love being home alone. I don't complain, don't make a mess and if I do, I clean it up. My retirement years can't come soon enough - the only downside is it means I'm getting old. No, I'm going to quit work earlier than SS says to so I can do some of the work around here that we keep spending my entire year's salary to have others do for us.

My mother in law and some of my employees can't believe I stay here out in farmland way off the road all by myself. From where I'm sitting right now, I can see in all directions so there's no sneaking up on me.

laugh3081 I find your story intriguing. Divorce after 30 years...It's tempting, even after 40. I dream of living alone.

All six of my brothers live in nearby towns. Phone is always ringing or coming and going of family at one's house. I live with several guard dogs so being alone isn't an issue... or is it?

Haven't time to read every message, sorry. I've lived alone in a small town, 2-story house, for 32 years. I love it. I worked till I was 76. I like having the kids/grandkids visit but I'll live alone as long as I possibly can. Can't properly care for big dogs anymore, and I miss them; have to be satisfied with kitties now. I sew, draw, paint, garden, listen to music and I'm happy.

I love the time to myself to relax, read, listen to music :)

During the day, I'm fine, but when it's time to shut the house down; turn off lights, check locks, turn off televisons and get into bed, I'm scared to death. Our house has 6 entrance doors. The lower level is much larger than than the upper, with five large rooms and a storage room. Our bedroom and one other bedroom is on the upper level and I can hear every sound, the water heater, the dehumidifier, the refrigerators going on and off and the furnace. When my husband is home, all of those sounds still startle me, but having him in the house with me keeps my mind from going to the worst possible place.

Odd, those sounds that you mention, judithahall are the sounds that I find reassuring when I am home alone. We built our home & have lived here for 18 years. I know all of the sounds, the creaks, pops, groans, ticks & hums. Those sounds are a comfort. Well that & the dogs snoring away....haha!

I always feel safe when husband is out of town. I live in the country so, 10 dogs in the house and a shotgun my my bed is enough to make me sleep like a baby.

Sometimes being home with somebody can be scary.

oh come on Mark B, you really did not think we would call you on that? When and who? tehehe

Mark B and havingfun, I see a whoooole new thread starting

Been there. That is exactly why I have been living alone all these years! There, you've started it.

Fine during the day; skiddish at night, but I sleep ok.

I'm (mostly) not afraid living alone, but then again, I live in a small one bedroom unit with great neighbours. I personally wouldn't like living in a big house by myself.

I love being home alone.....I have that experience so infrequently!! When my husband had to travel overseas, I was very busy straightening up things....I still had the kids with me.....I do feel better having my dog...!!!!

Myself, not in the tiniest bit, ever. My wife, on the other hand, very rarely feels slightly concerned.

I have never been afraid of being home alone except when my husband was gone for several months doing work in Texas. I was not really afraid but extremely cautious, especially when I went out. Now I have an alarm system and I definitely do not have to worry even when he's gone on a trip!

My Mother and I share a house. I'm disabled. She recently retired. I'm having to adjust to Not being alone. There are times I wonder how people manage all that chatter all day. I love her, adore having her around. I just wonder when she'll stop talking. I also love to travel alone. Did so often in my younger years. I like to experience new places without anyone else's agenda. Then again I have a service dog, she's a large boxer that's always at my side. :)

No, but then again I have always had large dogs which makes a big difference.

It depends. If I just watched a horror movie in the middle of the night the ill get paranoid or if its noon and I'm a couch potato all day then i'll be fine. Plus having a boxer dog makes it safer.