It is hard to respond to everyone individually, but know your comments are being read and I appreciate everyone's contribution! I can't wait to see how many votes this poll can get!

There was minimal stress with our kitchen renovation last year. Once demolition started, the job was completed in under 2 months. So having a tight construction schedule, and sticking to it, really reduces the stress.

Probably switching to another quartz countertop to avoid having a seam was the most stressful moment. But then we upgraded to a thicker slab, which was one of our best decisions. So I guess the point is....if you keep cool, last-minute "disasters" can lead to great results.

Having done two remodels in the last three years I can say without hesitation that the most stressful and critical part of the process was the bidding and contracting. If you don't cross every T and dot every I, you could be in for a lot more stress down the line. It is essential that you and your Contractor have open and clear communication. Documentation of everything is essential. Nothing should be left to chance and everything should be in writing. Verbal deals are worthless.

Although it is impossible to know every complication or overlooked detail that may arise during the process of remodeling, it is best to be as detailed as possible.

This could save you thousands of dollars down the line!!!!!

By all means, get several bids. Do not sign with the first guy that shows up at your door!

Adding a 2nd comment, as we just finished a 3 day installation of replacement windows, and had almost no stress. We had to move almost every piece of furniture away from windows, toss unwanted/outdated items, and deep clean (we'd each had some injuries a year or two ago and housecleaning had been difficult to do) and are putting furniture back in place and doing more sorting and discarding now that the new windows are in. The only stress was caused by the schedule - starting only 3 days after we returned from a 3 week vacation. The installers were wonderful to work with and they thought we were great to work with, the work was completed a few hours ahead of schedule, and there were no upcharges. I wish all remodelling could be like this!

Most stressful is finding the right contractor(s)--competent, honest and willing to communicate. The best scenario is having a contractor who will be in constant communication with you, on a daily basis if necessary. Those kind are worth more than their weight in gold! We've been so lucky in our last two big projects to have hired people who are honest, and willing to return phone calls/texts, and don't consider me a nag. :) That makes ALL the difference. I can be very stress-free and patient as long as I know what the guys we hired are doing. We've had other projects where days go by, phone calls aren't returned, and we're left in a hot mess waiting and waiting. That is stressful.

On our end, we try to return the favor-- we make sure to pay on time, we don't expect miracles, we remain flexible, treat them with respect (and fun), ask for their professional opinions, and try to keep the finished project in mind during the messy stuff. (Eyes on the prize!) We've been told we are the ideal customers, by more than one building crew... :)

When custom cabinets were delivered and were to be installed by the cabinet sub-contractors and they did not match my understanding of what we ordered, that gave me stomach acid. It eventually got straightened out, but until we had access to the original order paperwork, which was not in my hands on that day, it was stressful to call the general contractor and bring this big, expensive discrepancy to his attention.

Searching for an honest reliable contractor is the most frustrating. We can't seem to find one.

I found my Contractor on Houzz. Have you looked here?

What is most stressful? All of it, from beginning to end. Architects are over-priced doodlers, the building department found every reason in the book to reject the plans, I couldn't get contractors to bid on the job (submitted to 8 contractors and only one bid), sloppy and incompetent "workers" (they spend more time on their cell phones and flapping their jaws than working) ... it never ends. I've had to be onsite every day and watch them like a hawk. I'm not a contractor, builder or engineer, but I sure do know sloppy and incompetent work. Just today, for example, a "worker", being lazy, cut one of the tie beam straps because he was too lazy to take down the board and cut it with a jig saw on the saw horses. Now, they'll have to use a strap with tapcons so that the building inspector will be happy. Oh, building inspectors - forgot them. They are either way too entranced with their tin badges and power over homeowners or they spend 3 minutes for an inspection that should take 10 minutes. And I paid $1,600 for a building permit? For what? A pox on all of these jerks - from the architect on up. Building is an enormous scam and racket with everyone saying, "can't see it from my house" while playing with OPM (Other People's Money). I wouldn't do this ever again - they're all a**holes.

@tree894

That is a very unfortunate story. You could have an unusual knack for attracting all the wrong people but I suspect something else. Without intending to be offensive I am inclined to think this might have something to do with where you live. You can get bad service anywhere but in some areas the laws, ethics, education and mindset produce an atmosphere in which life is less hospitable.

I say this because I have spent a considerable amount of time in all 50 States and circled the world many times. We are all human beings but we do not all share the same spirit and work ethic.

I just don't want the readers to think your experience is universal.

Yes, Miami-Dade County, Florida - home to a bunch of scam artists.

That's a great insight, Kroze! I don't have the extensive experience that you have, but I might suggest that even within an area, there are varying qualities of architects and contractors. I built two houses in the same town, 5 years apart. The first GC hired the cheapest help possible and really didn't care, so after we moved in, we found that windows didn't open, the roof had to be replaced in three years, etc. The second house was built with a contractor who had a better reputation, but still didn't pay enough attention. Enter: the architect, who took great pride in his work. He was onsite a couple of times a week making the crew tow the line and if he didn't like it, he would be in the GC's office. They had worked together before so I'm sure it was no surprise to the GC. That architect saved me a lot of trouble down the line and I wound up with a great house that I lived in for a quarter century before downsizing.

I wonder if so many contractors failed to bid on tree894's project because they were familiar with (or, conversely, hadn't head of) the architect.

@kroze - we found our builder on Houzz and confirmed the reviews through other sites, but that didn't mean anything. His reviews were "hand-selected" and when we posted a poor review he deleted his account and opened another one. Suddenly after our bad review on his new account there were good reviews from people who show absolutely no other activity on this site......enough to give this builder a "Houzz Recommended" seal.

This is a builder that might do alright for someone that is looking for something just a bit better than a tract home builder, but he led us to believe he was a custom builder. LOTS of promises up front. He doesn't seem to work well with someone that knows to question some of his building practices (yes, you have to pull the pocket doors out and finish them before you install them, no the fact that you improperly framed the windows so that the drywall returns don't meet the window does not mean that you can just put in trim to fix the problem, the painter sprayed varnish overspray all over the walls, but slapping "Kilz" on it is not sufficient to prime that area to repair the problem, etc). In fact, he doesn't like to be questioned at ALL and will NEVER admit to a mistake. We also discovered so many "billing errors" (all in his favor) and when questioned at the end why we were being billed thousands of dollars more than we know we owed he tried to get us to pay quickly and without question by slapping a lien on the house (for an amount more than what he was owed). That got the bank's attention, but we were firm. In the end.....we were indeed overcharged for amounts we did not owe (many were left out credits for things we'd already paid). As soon as the correct billing was submitted we paid.....that's ALL we'd asked! It makes us wonder how many people were overcharged who didn't notice or who were bullied into just paying with threats of liens.

At this stage we can't even get him to complete the items that were on the "punch list" (drywall cracks and nail pops.....LOTS of them, etc) and no response regarding the warranty work (shelling/peeling concrete, still leaking barn due to poor design, roof installation prime for ice dams), and we had to pay out of pocket to repair other items (improper foundation drain that went up and over a pipe trapping a huge amount of water under the house that couldn't drain away and creating a swamp in the back yard and retaining walls he claimed we didn't need to hold back the mudslides that were eroding the soil around the foundation of the house.....so much that the air conditioner couldn't be installed!). We had to arrange to get the tile company to come back in to repair the shower (there was a flat spot in the floor so it wasn't draining properly and the niche was angled back toward the wall so that it pooled water).

The whole build was a mess. There were a lot of things that we just plain told him to "just forget that....we'll take care of it ourselves" because we couldn't stand to see more poor work done on the house. Heck, the cabinet company finally had to come in and replace nearly all of the doors on the island and some of the other cabinet doors because of damage done by the builder. The damage was bad, but the "repairs" affected by the builder were what ruined the cabinets and caused the cabinet company to step in.

The only good thing that comes of all this is that we will never build another home.

@unruli

I don't know enough about your situation to comment with any authority. However I will make a few statements.

It is critical to any project that the details are hammered out and documented prior to any contract agreement. That requires the remodeler to spend a lot of pre project time researching and making decisions. EVERYTHING must be in writing. It is equally critical that the payment schedule be fair to both sides. In my situation I paid half of the agreed upon price at the beginning and the other half when the last item on the punch list was completed.

With ANY project there will be bumps in the road. A good attitude goes a long way in resolving unexpected events.

Hire an attorney! It's worth the $ and aggravation & shouldn't cost very much. Being married to a lawyer I've repeatedly seen how a letter from legal counsel can move mountains. It shows you'll take serious action for your contracts to be honored & poor work corrected if things don't change. Builders usually don't want to spend attorney fees. I agree there are bumps in the road. But there's a huge difference between those & total disregard for a client & fulfilling the agreed contract, and/or being taken for a ride.

unruli - your experience sounds so much like ours, and your not far from us - I wonder if we used the same builder?

@dogmom - in the plans, and currently in process

@ellen - you can see who our builder was by looking under my reviews on here......it's entirely possible.

@phoebe3 - There were at least two reasons I couldn't get bids on the project. The first is that contractors are very busy here building multi-million dollar "homes" for flight capital and the second is that given a choice, a contractor prefers a vacant lot to a remodel/addition, I think. The architect has been in business for over 30 years but his plans were very sloppy and I corrected numerous errors but obviously didn't catch them all. The building department is more interested in revenue than in making sure the work is up to snuff and the workers don't care - it's not their house. It's been an eye-opening experience and one that I will never repeat!

unruli - not the same builder, though the description is very similar. I'm very glad our recent experience with Pella & replacement windows was fabulous - professional attitude, 2 1/2 days to completion with a 3 day schedule, and no upcharges. It gives me courage to consider other projects.

As a builder for over a dozen years, I feel very bad for unruli and tree894 and anybody else who has had a horror story with their contractors. I have heard of stories in my area of homeowners getting taken for a ride by the cheaper contractors. Typically when I ask them how they found that contractor, it was "from an advertisement" or "they did a project down the street", etc. When i ask how they chose them, it is usually, "Because they were the cheapest". The guys that have been around for a long time, 10+ years, are usually not like this. Often, the stories about their jobs "going south" are from nightmare clients with unrealistic expectations of quality or cost or both. I have been there, with clients walking around with micrometers(seriously, a micrometer) and a 6' straight edge, wanting perfection on hand applied finishes. I had a client want a trim strip ripped out and replaced because it was 1.5mm different in height from another one that was 4' away. Yet, these same clients are often the ones that cannot pick out their plumbing fixtures until 2 months after the scheduled deadline and then complain that the job is behind schedule. Having realistic expectations going in is essential. Getting more than one bid is paramount. When you only have one bid, you don't have anything to compare it to. Knowing how much things cost, how long it will take and how they should look when they are done, and making sure that you make decisions and keep up your end of the contract, is essential to coming out on the other side a happy person.

I have been in the business long enough to know that the cost of construction is staggeringly high to everybody who is NOT in the industry. I came into construction from a science background, yet I was intelligent about my naivete and did my research and determined that I would bid all of my jobs off of the RS Means cost books, which are updated continuously and are supposed to represent the "True" cost of construction. They, unfortunately, did not represent the true cost of doing business. The materials, subs and overhead were always way more costly and my projects kept coming in much over budget. Only after I was in business did i learn that the cost books were for holding your coffee cup and experience is for job costing. The prices here in California, and maybe elsewhere, mean that I have to charge clients a lot more to do a job than they or the (clueless) architects think it should cost(more "aware" architects know how much things really cost). The contractors that beat me on price are either: doing the job for free(stupid for them, bad for you(think: "callbacks" or "warranty items"), or cutting corners by buying cheap materials and/or cheap labor or subs(stupid for them, Bad for you), or not doing "things" above board(no taxes, no permits, no insurance, no workers comp.)(Bad for them and really bad for you). Do yourselves a favor: Don't ever pick the cheapest guy/gal. Construction is not a commodity. It is much more difficult that I originally thought when I entered the industry and it took me years and years to know enough to make a real salary and I am not a dummy(PhD in Biochemistry). The guys that do it well are much more impressive and much smarter than the public gives them credit for and they are very, very rarely the cheapest guys. What happened to you is criminal and those guys should punished. Not all of us are like that. Just like not all clients walk around with a micrometer. :-)

Oh dear......we're certainly not that picky! I did make him remove the trim, but it was because the plain, trim we selected does not = 1x4 pine boards. He thought we were being unreasonable.

He was also not the cheapest in any way.......he just spins a good story. He wouldn't give us an estimate until 8 months into the process (claiming he couldn't give a good estimate without everything in place) and he was the most expensive one of the group. We thought we were okay because we believed his ratings/reviews and his explanation of how he does things. It wasn't until the structure was in and we started finding problems that we realized our mistake. I think even if he would have admitted to any of the mistakes it would have gone a long way toward boosting our confidence in him. I can't tell you how many times I hear, "That's how it's done" (when I could prove, or I knew that indeed that was NOT how it was done) or, "we'll put trim on that" (um....no.....it's going to be done right).

He pressured us regularly to put in Jeldwin windows, linoleum and laminate floors ( I suspect he got kickbacks for those items).........we wanted Anderson wood windows, tile and maple floors (he claimed we'd be unhappy with our choices). He groused that we wanted to pick each of our plumbing and light fixtures (claiming the ones he uses everyone "loves"......well, we went ahead with his toilet choice and HATE them....they plug on NOTHING!). All were chosen long before the deadline with only one snafu. The snafu was a set of track lights that we were not told by the lighting company were discontinued and the manufacturer sent what they had for three and "replacements" for the others. We'd only purchased a couple heads expecting to purchase more later. Those were the only heads of that brand we liked. So.....cancel those track lights. We got cheaper lights of a different brand that were closer to what we wanted and we didn't have to wait to buy all the heads. It wouldn't have been a problem if we'd been notified before the lights arrived.

We knew we were going to go over on our lighting and we planned for that (sorry, but an estimate of $2500 for lighting an entire house inside and out, including two out-buildings and a walk-out basement, is just not even possible), and we also knew we were going to go over on the appliances $3000 for that wasn't going to be enough either because we wanted QUALITY appliances. We planned for that as well and kept careful track of those amounts.

We built a small house with quality items.....that was the plan and we were clear on that from the start. The pressure to put in cheaper "stuff" was just plain irritating.

Yes, we were picky, but not outside of reason.

@Earth Bound Homes - The horror story really begins with the architect. I picked him because he had been in business for 30 years and I figured he knew what he was doing. As far as I know, it is impossible to get "estimates" from architects - they are all in cahoots with each other. Once you pick an architect, you're basically locked in to them because if you fire them you have to start all over with a new one, even if you get the first architect's work. So I stuck it out with this guy and have paid the price in many ways. The latest is that the architect didn't specify TB1 over windows 4' and wider, which requires a hoop 8" on center instead of every 4'. Yes, TB1 is on the print, but it isn't on the structural drawing. The plans processor didn't catch it and the rough carpenter didn't do anything about it, even though he knew that more steel was required. His excuse? It wasn't on the drawing and I'm just doing what the architect specified. The inspector didn't catch it because he was in a hurry to go yap with his buddies at the local coffee shop, I guess. The GC didn't call the architect for a field inspection because in his experience, 9 out of 10 architects don't go out in the field. The end result is that the tie beam was poured without the correct amount of steel. I sent the architect pictures and he said that the tie beam now has to be reinforced with a steel plate, which costs $1,150. I complained to the building department to no avail.

This GC isn't the cheapest contractor around. He's a decent guy and his communication skills are excellent, for which I'm grateful. But his workers are all alcoholics and unreliable - I have to watch them every minute so they don't screw up. An example: a rafter was too high so it had to be notched so that the top of the rafter matched all the rest so that the plywood roof sheeting is even. Rather than take the rafter off the tie beam to cut the notch, the worker cut it with a sawzall while it was on the tie beam with the predictable result that he cut the far side strap off. Now, that rafter has to have a strap added to it with tapcons anchoring it to the tie beam. Another example: the hanger the architect specified for the hip/jack connection is the wrong one - I have to special order a hanger from USP because it isn't made.

I'm very grateful that I'm only getting the shell built - I'll do the rest of the work myself. All I have to put up with now is the electrician and the plumber, whose helper put the water lines in and fastened them parallel to the floor with clamps on a 1" x 3". I had to re-do them so that they were in the same plane as the wall. And the waste line from the second story bathroom, which is on the outside of the house, is out of plumb because the worker did the work backwards - he started at the septic tank and worked towards the bathroom instead of the other way around. The plumber also refused to add a 4" nipple to the well, claiming that I'd lose the prime. Duh. The well hasn't been used since it was drilled 15 years ago and had no prime. Excuses, excuses, excuses.

The finger-pointing is ridiculous - no one wants to take responsibility for the errors. Not the architect, not the building department, not the workers. The only one who has bitten the bullet is the GC. Thank goodness for that.

I'll never build again, of that you can be sure. Architects have enormous egos, the building department is only concerned with job security and revenue, and the workers can't see my house from theirs. Who cares? It's Other People's Money, right?

unruli, glad to hear that is not you. Tree894, welcome to my world. Sucks(sometimes) doesn't it.

Very interesting stories everyone :)

Thank you to everyone who voted, it has verified the importance of being organized and getting the project done as scheduled!

Remodel with a Process!

We are on month 7 of a gut renovation that was supposed to be done one month ago. It is so awful & stressful. We are nearing the end but electrician & cabinet maker are delaying when they will return. I hate this so much. I've stopped sleeping. Contractor is a total bully. This is a nightmare. Appreciate others' stories.

I'm SO sorry for all the nightmares in these stories! WOW! They make me appreciate our reputable builder and his excellent crew even more. Our whole house remodel has been very low stress for us and, I think, for the builder, too. We've had the luxury of not living in the house while the work is done and we don't have time constraints, which makes this whole process easier. We didn't go into this expecting it to be snag-free, so we've been able to "roll with the punches" and our builder has been upfront, honest and helpful. I wish it went that way for everyone.

It sounds as though you've got a wonderful builder, and he has good clients in you. Too bad we don't all have such a great match.

Great poll!

Thanks Keryn!

Any good (or nightmare) stories anyone?

When it comes to large scale renovations, I think the most stressful thing for many people is not having access to large portions of their house. Often times people will relocate to a basement, or one half of their house while the rest gets renovated. Before the renovation gets started, it's easy to think that you'll have no problem with the adjustment, but after a month of living in the basement you start pulling your hair out.

It's important to find a contractor who will accommodate your living situation, especially if you have kids and/or pets.

We moved upstairs during the renovation of the downstairs. Disaster struck when I fell down the stairs and broke 14 bones including my back, a collapsed lung and concussion. Renovation contractor shut down for a week while I was in I.C.U. After hospital stay and rehab hospital, I returned home the day the renovation was completed.

I don't recommend doing it that way!

Oh my gosh @kroze I hope you have recovered! That sounds absolutely awful!

Thank you Lonestar. That was 18 months ago. I am fine today.

Glad to hear!

Is anyone currently remodeling? How's it going?

Yep. My husband is remodeling a house we purchased and he threatened to divorce me today. So, eh, it's not going well. We are nearing the end, but paying high rent plus mortgage on the new place. Timeline and budget have been stretched. I'm a perfectionist and the husband is tearing about the place in a frenzy, just slapping it all together to get it finished. I'm just sick thinking about how we are supposed to move into this half-finished disaster area. Right now I'm deeply regretting the decision to buy this place. We bought for the land and location and I was clueless about how much work it be to get the house fixed up. I hope it turns out ok and my marriage survives : ( Designing was awful, but getting to the end and seeing so much sloppiness and inattention to detail is making me feel like it was all for nothing.

I voted for "oh my gosh, they'll never be done", but if there was a "it's a bit difficult so they don't want to do it", that'd be my second choice. I'm in the middle of a major remodel/structural repair project on a 1960 rancher which has the furnace and water heater in a closet in the center of the house. Installing an all new HVAC system, all new plumbing lines, and replacing the old tank water heater with a tankless meant breaking up the drywall ceiling in that closet to run new venting, etc. Now, no one wants to replace the drywall ceiling and required screen required for proper ventilation -- it's just a jagged, gaping hole into the attic with insulation falling into the closet. I'm afraid this is going to be a fight to the bitter end between me and the GC. What's wrong with contractors? Didn't anyone tell them that sometimes they'll have to do unpleasant tasks in the course of a job?

Definitely the oh my gosh, they will never be done! But in our case it's the "he" will never be done as in my dear husband. here's a shot of our hall bathroom and year and a half in!!

Ana Stagnaro_Wendel The bathroom will look beautiful once it is finished! Hopefully it is soon!

I have done multiple renovations. I think the secret to survival is checking references well before choosing contractors. We have been fortunate, I guess, because we have had good luck overall. The were certainly bumps along the way, but good communication seems to solve problems. I have also offered snacks, lunches, beverages and even a beer at the end of the work day for the guys on the job. I have previously shared my father's project advice: "double the money, triple the time". When you start tearing out walls you never know what you will find (or decide to do after you get into the project. Somehow ours always seem to grow). Always have a contingency fund!

Good advice sandi125

I had no idea the majority of votes would be in this category. So many things left unfinished. It's killing me. Not really. But damn, it'd be nice for things to be cleaned and organized.
I also think that things like Houzz, Pinterest, and Instagram can make this worst sometimes because it seems like everyone else's house is perfect. And I think we all compare ourselves to each other all the time. Well mines not. Mines a mess.

Want proof?

We're all in this together.

THERE were times I swear to God that Tim Conway doing the slow old man from the Carol Burnet show had reincarnated into our contractor.

In the middle of a remodel and it is very stressful. From coming home to plaster all over the living room because they did not bother to use a drop cloth to trash left in my garage for 3 weeks now despite assurances that it will be removed. Now they are using my trash can for construction debris against waste disposal rules. I can not afford to move out and I have a cat. Leaving nails and wire everywhere is a safety issue. They also showed up on a Saturday with no notice. Seems to be communcation issues all the way around.

Dealing with the bank.

Actually I quite enjoy remodeling. We've done it more than once.

It helps to understand going in that it will cost more and take longer than you expect.

And yes, absolutely be sure to check references. Don't pick the cheapest bid. There is usually a reason it is the cheapest, and that reason is not in your favor.