floral arrangement - home made. NOT a bouquet that I have to scurry around and find a vase for.

The best hostess gifts are edible. It's very hard to select something that will fit the decor taste of your hosts--even flowers--but something delicious to eat is always great. Especially if it's not intended to be served at the event, but enjoyed by the hosts later.

Expecting or asking your friends or guests to help clean up after a meal is in very poor taste. Entertaining is an art, learn how to do it if you don't know how. Buy a book if you have to, but don't make your guests clear the table or clean up. Make

them feel welcome and glad that they are there to share your company. Try not to spend to much time in the kitchen, do as much as you can before hand. Leave the

clean up until after the guests leave. Everyone should have FUN !

I think nice hostess gifts are things like wine, cheese or chocolate. I dislike knick knacks for my home, and I especially DISLIKE getting a loose flower bouquet. I know, I know it's the thought that counts but it is so much work to host a party and I am usually running around like crazy trying to get everything done so I really don't like to have to stop and find a vase and arrange flowers in the midst of everything.

Ugh… please no scented candles.

If your guests bring wine, the proper thing to do is open it and serve it. If a guest is thoughtful enough to bring it, be thoughtful and open it. How lovely, thank you and I can't wait to try it! Even if it doesn't "work" with your menu. Open it anyway.

My husband had surgery a week prior to Thanksgiving. My daughter and daughter-in-law made side dishes and desserts for our family dinner for 14. I cannot express how much of a burden to create "the perfect meal" was taken off me and directed at helping my husband recuperate. And it was the most perfect Thanksgiving meal ever shared in our home. Not because of the food, but because of the understanding and concern my family showed.

I guess the take-away here is that everyone is different so try to think of what your host would appreciate, not you.

Things that get used up. Love condiments!

REGIFT one of the hostess gifts that you received in the last five years!!! Suggestion: If you do receive chocolates, tins of biscuits or fancy crackers, check the expiry date. Otherwise ask yourself, what you would do if you have just stuffed one of them into your mouth in front of the gift giver and it's rancid?..'....which is what happened to me!...

Often guests are family members...like one's teenage children...or older. So, I think that the hostess should stay put after having slaved over a hot stove all day and be able to relax and finally enjoy the evening and the company of her guests and the kids should do ALL the cleaning up. That can be their way of saying thank you; a perfect 'hostess gift' of sorts. With teenage kids, contracts should be drawn up and signed ahead of time. lol

Surely circumstances vary for offering to help or expecting help with cleaning, of bringing gifts and what kind. It all depends on the nature of the dinner, the frequency, the occasion, the familiarity of the guests with each other and even the hostess. One set of rules for all occasions cannot accommodate every situation. Common sense is king.

I like to bring flowers from my garden in something I hope my friend will enjoy using again and again. If I know the Hosts very well I love bringing homemade food.

plants, I especially love Bonsai trees/Bamboo or a small plate or dish. One of my friends always brings Ice cream, love that!

What I do for my guests is lock the dog out of the public part of the house for the evening, and vacuum the upholstery if I have time, as I doubt my guests like getting hair or muddy paw prints on their good clothes, or disrupted conversation. Yes, the dog is a member of the family, but until it learns not to sneak hors d'oeuvres, to sit upright, use the right fork, and not lick the plates, he is not ready for any part of a dinner party.

As for what I bring to others: I arrive six minutes late to give the host/ess a little breathing room (provided theater tickets are not involved), and I bring a decent wine stipulated "to set aside for another night" so as not to derail the menu plans. Oh, and I don't loiter at the kitchen door, and I stay out of the kitchen unless my offer to help has been received with a firm yes.

Years ago a guest brought me a fancy jar of preserves. I loved it. I recently paid that forward with a hostess gift of 3 jars of preserves (you get to chose which you like) from Le Pain Quotidien.

I'm trying to reduce stuff in my home, so I'd rather not receive non-perishable gifts. Munchies are my perfect gift. What I appreciate most in guests is good cheer, an open heart and willingness to help if/when needed. Because I've been taught that it is bad manners to show up empty-handed at a party, I try to take an eatable that I cooked or bought and know that the host would like, unless they expressly ask to not bring anything (like I sometimes do with my close circle). In either case I offer to help with setting the table or cleaning up afterwards, but don't push because I've seen that this makes some people uncomfortable.

Bottom line is, each person is different so I try to take a hostess gift based on my understanding of their likes/dislikes or needs. Sometimes it's right on mark and sometimes a bit off, but hey, that's life :)

yup, some folk want help clearing the table, some don't, but if its a family gathering I think the hostess should be allowed to sit while the 30 year old kids clear the table. the best hostess gift I seem to get Is a liquid hand soap from bath & body works. if I hate the scent I re gift it.......otherwise I hide my icky looking current one and set out a gifted one when I am entertaining......

I know this is way off topic....but to the woman who said paper towels or toilet paper were appreciated in her circle......when I am making a condolence visit.....and others are showing up with deli platters, that will almost never fit in the fridge......I bring high quality zip lock bags and paper plates.

Home made jam, preserves, etc... Not just consumable, but easy to deal recognize as a gift rather than something to add to the menu. My best friend always brings a tiny jam that goes right in the fridge and the next morning is like another hug and greeting.

I like to receive wine but with the proviso that I put it away for another time. Although I love flowers they gotta be in a vase or maybe a little pot of herbs or something. I can't be arranging flowers right at the start of a party. I do have some relatives who bring me store bought cakes and apps that require work to get on the table. Nooooooo.

Inviting friends for dinner is my gift to them. Returning the favour, if it suits them, always appreciated. No gift is necessary. I prefer to clean up myself, and not intrude that on the entertaining.. Generally people bring a bottle of beverage that they like to drink.

Let's see...after hosting many parties over the years, I've had hostess gifts run the gamut: a gift card to a store that was out of business, a re-gifted item that was originally given by me (!), and a rancid meat/cheese sampler (I suspect another re-gifting gone awry), to name just a few! New friends needed, maybe?? Probably not. As with most things in life, carry on and smile.

The best hostess gifts I've ever received were songs -- written especially for me and performed by friends. One was a friend and his guitar, the other a group of 4 gals singing their hearts out to a rendition of one of my favorite songs (words changed to fit the evening's festivities, of course ;) Both were heartfelt gifts of appreciation for my efforts in putting together the party. I didn't have to scramble last minute to find a vase for flowers, open a wine that didn't "go" with the meal, or add another cheap knick-knack to my donate box. I have memories...and that makes the best gift of all.

How lovely to have a song sung specially for you, to you, by friends, that is the top gift I have read about, Anything that comes with love , from the heart, is welcome, a gift, with or without a return letter, or just a big thank you hug, its the warmth we receive that is the gift, with or without a gift. .I take gifts if I have an abundance of produce, flowers, otherwise just me and a big thank you. True friends don't expect anything but your company. enjoy

I LOVE to read and have a house full of books ~ but when a friend asked what she could do for me after staying with me for a few nights of course I said " Buy me a book ! " She called a few weeks later and asked " Do you know who Maisie Dobbs is ? " I told her I had never heard of her and my friend told me NOT to google her. It turns out that Maisie Dobbs is the main character in a series of wonderful English historical mystery books post WW I and she gave me the first 2 books in the series. I loved them and have read all of them so far ! A lovely surprise to find a new author to love !

consumables - candles, nice soap, wine

I think the best advice when receiving the invitation is to ask the host right off the bat what you can bring? It's always nice when people ask first even tho the host is not expecting anyone to bring anything. I know I do it and appreciate when others ask. usually it's just a dessert or something simple. It makes less prep work for the host. however, I can say I do remember those who have been guests and never offer to bring anything. they can redeem themselves if they offer to clear the table or something. At the annual new year's dinner at my parents, I asked my 10 year old niece to grab a dishtowel. Her response was it should be her sister's turn. I promptly told her that she is a guest and as a guest, she should be jumping up to help do anything she can, especially for grandma. She can help set the table, clear the dishes, dry the dishes, etc. We were always taught to jump in and offer to help. it's amazing these days how kids aren't taught basic manners. To her credit, my niece did pick up a dishtowel along with her sister and both dried the dishes! Job well done. Good manners will always be remembered.

A box of hand dipped dark chocolate mint meltaways by Seroogy's!

I love to get & give them.

My brother in law sometimes stays with us while in town for business. One time he sent a Fall flower arrangement the day AFTER he left. A brief thank you note was attached and I keep the pumkin it came in because it reminds me of this totally unexpected gesture. It also told me that our gift of hospitality was thought of and appreciated even afterward.

Nothing decorative and definitely nothing smelly...no scented soaps or candle. Wine, snacks, flowers, hanging baskets, or plants for the garden are always appreciated.

plants and another plant, not a bunch of flowers

Nothing is necessary

I love a thank note in the mail. ... A few days later.. It reminds of the get together!

Also ...I like consumables! I have a lot of "stuff" ,jams, mustard, artichoke dip... I received a bottle of Mexican vanilla extract recently that is such a treat!

I prefer nothing other than being graced with his/her presence. :)

I always felt that since we're the guest, we bring the gifts... i.e. food or drinks.

I have a wonderful friend who rented a villa, was a 100year old monastery in Tuscany and invited family and friends who could make it over there to stay(we are from NZ) so an extremely long flight, so of course I couldn't give away that opportunity, had the most amazing time as you could image, we all had turns at cooking. On my return home I gifted her a painting I painted of this amazing villa, with beautiful climbing orange flowering vines. She loves it and a constant reminder of a loving time with family and friends

The best hostess gift is throwing a great party or dinner for everyone and then watching them leave happy from our front door :-) The next best gift is planning the next party or bash. It's fun. After that? Hearing people talk/asking about our parties and hinting when they will be invited next.

Someone to help out with the dishes when it's all over.

My favourite home to visit was a warm home where the kids (all ages) always cleared the table, washed the dishes and tidied up while the parents made a point of sitting down to read. We couldn't wait to start clearing as we had a great singsong during the whole time. No one was expected, no one was asked - everyone chipped in. If kids didn't want to, they played in the lounge but we older kids (parents in our own right) had a blast!!!!

When people ask me what they can bring, my usual reply is 'a hearty appetite.'

If someone wants to give me a gift, I really prefer no alcohol (I don't drink, and my husband can't due to medication interactions), nothing scented (scented stuff usually makes me unable to breathe), no candles (we're both petrified of open flames, see also in re: scented stuff), and no holiday-themed stuff to store most of the year only to realize where we put it three days after said holiday has ended.

Oh, and if someone offers me baked goods... do the words 'coal to Newcastle' ring any bells? Seriously. I'm an excellent and enthusiastic baker. Don't being me a pie or a cake or even eclairs. If I want those things, I will already have baked them. And baking mixes? Really, seriously, NO.

Please don't help me clean. I'm the hostess, so that's my job. If I didn't feel up to it, I wouldn't have invited you. When you come to a meal or a party in my home, your only job is to have a good time.

What would make me happy? Dark chocolate, preferably joined with either hazelnuts, raspberries, or coffee. That makes me smile. A book you think I'll like... though there's a good chance I've already read it. A cool spice, condiment, or cooking gadget is usually a winner with me.

But mostly I don't need things. The best hostess gift you can give me is to ask for seconds or a recipe.

Then I know my work is truly appreciated. That's a gift with no expiration date, no potential for triggering allergies or phobias, no awkward etiquette issues, and all kinds of warm fuzzies on tap.

All these comments got me thinking. With our New Year coming up there will be so many friends and family to visit - three days!!! So no knicknacks. Only consumables. But something I do well. And something to go with the inevitable meat meals. Got it! A jar of my famous home pickles. A huge jar with the recipe label attached. What do you think of that?

showing up unscented is the best gift of all! and no talking politics or religion...

Looked here first for ideas, then found these things stashed away in my stuff: “chalkboard” placemats, napkins and a couple of pieces of chalk. Hope she likes them!

Many years ago an older lady gave me a beautiful little bowl (bright blue with a red poppy) filled with M&M's and wrapped in colored cellophane tied with a ribbon. I still have that bowl and I still love it. The woman passed away a couple years ago, and I am reminded of her almost daily, when I use that treasured little bowl.

Since I moved to New Hampshire, I’ve begun to give cozy, crazy rather expensive socks. Sounds crazy but we all love them here!

You can choose to buy a gift or go to them with a tasty meal prepared by you and a bottle of cold wine.

Don’t go all out, which can be embarrassing to the receiver. And don’t regift - it’s painfully obvious and frankly, a bit mean spirited. On the other end, being overly picky about gifts isn’t exactly in the right spirit either. Personally I love flowers, and have plenty of vases and don’t mind dealing with them, but if I bring them I get them already in a vase. Chocolates are always nice and can be shared after the meal.

My sister brings these delicious chewy, chocolatey cookies from Stew Leonard's!

When I was invited to a “bring a dish” to the celebration of a friend’s new home, I made a side dish and put it in a gorgeous ceramic casserole. My friend admired it and was thrilled the casserole was her house gift. I’ve done that a few times when a meal is a group event. I even did this to my sister one Thanksgiving.

I like to bring a nice bottle of fancy olive oil as a gift

We don't do hostess gifts in my circle of family and friends, other than a bottle of wine. And I'm glad because I'm at an age where I don't need more stuff.

When it comes to hostess gifts, I'm all about the personal touch. One time, a friend brought over a custom-made cutting board with our initials engraved on it, and I thought it was such a thoughtful gesture. It showed that they put some real effort into choosing something special just for us.

Honestly, anything personalized always hits the spot for me. Whether it's a monogrammed candle, a set of custom coasters, or even a personalized recipe book, it just adds that extra bit of thoughtfulness that makes a gift feel truly special.

So yeah, if I had to pick, I'd say personalized gifts are the way to go. They're a great way to show your appreciation and make the recipient feel extra special.

A friend of mine recently told me that her sister came to visit and brought a dozen of her fresh chicken eggs, and a little antique bottle filled with sprigs of lavender from her garden. I love these types of gifts!