Oil-based poly is not at all compatible with wax. A stripper would have to be used.

Casey

What could I use to strip the wax but leave the stain? Or would doing additional applications of wax help the finish? What would you recommend?

He used minwax stain in dark walnut.

then he used minwax paste wax in natural.

I guess my first question is, should he have used paste wax as a finish for a kitchen table in the first place? Is that a standard finish for this type of furniture?

you got some good advice here: http://community.woodmagazine.com/t5/Finishing-and-Refinishing/Please-help-me-fix-this-table/td-p/447548

Yes, thank you! I just emailed the table maker and I'll see what he comes back with. I think he is fairly new to this type of business. hopefully he will be responsive.

If things don't work out with the maker I'd talk to Minwax customer service to ask (A) Will scrubbing with mineral spirits remove all the wax (B) Will Finishing Wax amalgamate and cure with another finish to provide a more durable finish. If I was faced with the same situation I would either (A) Apply and buff additional wax ever 90 days or (B) Scrub with stiff bristle plastic brush and minerial spirits,wipe dry and repeat wet scrub and wipe dry with fresh clean cloth 2 or 3 times. Let dry. Apply 1 coat of walnut Minwax Wood Finish oil base stain. As soon as random spots begain drying wipe off wet stain. Let dry then apply 1 coat of 2Lb shellac,lightly 120 sand,tack,another 2Lb coat,sand, tack and top coat with Minwax Fast Drying Polyurethane. Recoat in 4 to 6 hours without sanding between coats. If you must wait more than 6 hours,lightly 120 sand and tack between coats.

I will call minwax. I heard back from the maker and he has offered to come and put poly on it in my house.

This worries me. 1) I don't know if he realizes that he needs to first remove the wax prior to the poly application. 2) he doesn't realize that poly application is a multi-step process with sanding in between coats.

I'm thinking of calling minwax and getting their rec, then emailing him and asking that he come get the table (he was already coming next week to address 2 other smaller issues with the table). Take it back to his shop, follow the recs, allow the table to cure (how long will this take in winter temps? He said his workshop was like 45 degrees inside!) and then I will pay him another delivery fee as a "meet you halfway" gesture for him to bring back the table.

However, I'm worried that it will still end up not great because it's clear to me he doesn't really know what he is doing. I mean, from basic google searches I feel like I almost know more than he does and I don't even own a saw nor have I ever built anything other than ikea furniture.

Wow. I just heard back from him. He is going to make a new top, stain and poly it, and deliver and reinstall it to the base I already have. Then he will take the waxed top back and sell it to someone else who wants that finish.

I feel so much better right now. I was very worried that I'd have to eat this purchase and chalk it up to the learning process.

i called minwax and they said wax has to be removed etc and I emailed him that, and said I want the work done off-site as I have young kids, the fumes, other contractors in the house for a renovation, etc. I am so relieved that he didn't get angry or insulted. It's really a nice table, just not durable as-is for a kitchen table.

thank you so much for your advice and help!

"did a wax paste finish (over stain). He says this finish is best because it is food safe."

Their rep on Twitter says: "Minwax Paste Finishing Wax is great for adding lustre to stained or finished wood, but it is NOT food safe!"
https://twitter.com/minwax/status/215087187509780480 

Minwax's own information on their paste wax also says nothing about being "food safe". They do say it
is recommended for furniture, antiques, woodwork, cabinets, doors,
paneling and accessories that do not need a hard protective coat of
polyurethane."

In other words, not a kitchen table in a house full of children because it's not hard enough, and not a food prep surface because

Here's a tip: almost any finish is reasonably "food safe" after it dries. I would not freak out if someone made me a sandwich on a counter that had been waxed. It would probably damage the coubnter more than me.

Pretty much any finish being sold today is "food safe" once it dries, whether or not they've gone to the trouble and expense of paying for the certification to allow it to be labeled as such. Certainly of you use a plate between your food and the table top there is no cause for concern.

The food safe designation comes into play where wooden utensils or salad bowls are to be finished. So if accidentally ingested it won't make you sick.

I know that lowes has a diy farm style table and that's exactly how they say to finish the table top. however that is for a rustic aged look, I think the soft wax over stain will give this appearance and will help to quickly add character to the table. so I would say its a preference issue

Wax provides little to no resistance to heat, water, water vapor, or solvents It is the closest thing to no finish at all. It will also capture dirt and there's no way to clean it. If you'd ever spill something like a splash of red wine (or a greasy meatball that slipped off a plate), you're going to have a nice spot that you can't get rid of. Is that what you mean by "character?" ;-)

Yea I was doing some more research and it seems like it will protect against stuff but any moisture will cause the wax to lift. Hence water rings, etc.