I am recently single but it wasn't the kitchen that was the downfall! The only kitchen related issue was my boyfriend's tendency to come along and adjust the temperature of something I was in the middle of cooking while I had my back turned. After I pointed it out he never did it again.

The kitchen was designed for him as he does all or most of the cooking-but he can never find anything and is constantly asking me where things are-usually right in front of him!

My husband is great. He gets up, makes coffee and has breakfast before I appear. Well, he unloads the dishwasher but never remembers where items go back! So, pans, dishes, serving dishes and wine glasses are on the counter when I get there.
He also cooks in vat quantities! Cajun food!
Sausage, rice in quantities for ten to twenty!

Funny story here.............. We were married in October of 1962............. good German girl that I was, I got up every morning, made brekkie for hubby, then when it was almost ready, I went into the bedroom, and said "Honey, breakfast is ready." Fast forward to sometime after March '65 (daughter was born on the 7th.)............ hubby came into the kitchen to eat his breakfast. Then he said "I hope that you're not going to be upset about this.............. but, if I have to get up one more time and eat a big breakfast I will throw up!" I asked him what was wrong with the breakfasts........... nothing wrong, he appreciated that I wanted to do it, but he just didn't like eating breakfast, all he ever wanted was to get up, drink a glass of milk, and then leave!

I said, "You mean I could have been sleeping in all this time???" I never made him an early morning breakfast again in the 51 years we were married.

I feel this question has nothing to do with Houzz as I know it and is inflammatory--encouraging us to to think of negatives about other humans rather than positives.

I don't think of my comment as negative at all. He ate breakfast for three years because he loved me and didn't want to hurt my feelings. I have seen that in many of the posts here.

I agree with niagarahost. I don't think in negative terms about my spouse. I like his quirks and vagaries, and I think he likes mine. I have enjoyed reading about all the situations in the kitchens!

I don't think LilyandDaisy's comment was directed towards the breakfast-maker, instead it was about the nature of the question in general. Must admit, there is a bit of complaining on here.

I think there are people on here taking this wayyyy to seriously. Just because we complain does NOT mean we do not love our partners. It does not mean we disrespect them either. For pete's sake, it's just a question.

If you have a fairy tail marriage & have no complaints or pet peeves fine, but not everyone is married to the Mr. or Mrs. Perfect.

Also, because we complain or talk about things that irk us doesn't mean we do not love our spouses/significant other, I know that we ALL do things that set their teeth on edge as well, which is fine, that is how life is.

Lighten up folks! My husband was sitting right next to me when I was making my first comment about him, he laughed, he didn't care!

Oh, where to start! I have a culinary degree and my husband also likes to cook, so we do spend quite a bit of time in the kitchen. I leave him alone when it's his turn to make dinner, but he has to be there when I cook to "make sure I am doing it right", telling me I am slicing tomatoes incorrectly (!) or turning the burner down on when I am trying to get a pan to sear temperature. Maddening! Since I am allergic to dish soap, we have an agreement that I load/unload the dishwasher, which happens about 4x/wk, and he takes care of the handwashing. Sometimes the dirty pots and knives sit there for a week or more (disgusting, but I refuse to do it!), or until he needs a knife and none of them are clean...then he yells at ME about it! Oh, and handwashing to him does not mean also washing the counters and stove while you have the hot soapy water in the sink. If I want that done, I have to do it myself. And he is the sloppiest cook. But probably the biggest peeve is that he has to save little bits of things - a half ounce of cheese, a quarter of a bell pepper, a slice of onion - for "next time". This results in throwing away a lot of food that should have just gone into the pot when he made the first dish (and he would have had leftovers for lunch!) because he always starts with a fresh onion instead of using the cut one. Thankfully, I know how to make soup!

My husband is amazing all around. He is handy with tools and trades and fixing/doing anything, and he can iron, do laundry, vacuum, do windows, dust, look after kids/animals/yard, sew, and shop and cook and clean very well. He could do all that before we married! His parents raised him to be an "all-rounder" and he's been fixing, building, or tinkering with things since he was 3, lol. He figured out how to wire a house when he was a young guy--crazy the stuff he comes up with.

He makes a mean pot roast! His one "flaw" in the kitchen? He pretends he doesn't understand how to make gravy from scratch. It's a standing joke between us. I can demonstrate my simple 5 step method and he'll play dumb. He told me long ago he loves my gravy and loves getting a rise out of me. :-) We spoil each other. If he cooks, I will clean. If I cook? I will only occasionally let him help out with cleaning and I always excuse him early. He always cooks/takes over if I'm under the weather and he does all this without being asked. He is a fantastic blessing from above. I don't take him or anything he does for granted. I baked him 2 pies this week as a treat. He loves pie!

His absence!

@Gary Craig A whole new category...HouzzMatchHarmony !

my husband never wants to stand with me in the kitchen. .. He prefers to play games or watch a movie until I serve dinner and then he comes. I want to enjoy a small chat with him while cooking and may be listen to soft music. Also him helping with chopping some veggies can foster the process of cooking.

Even when he's done, he puts the dishes in the sink instead of rinsing them and load then in the dishwasher.

I shouldn't complain however, you did ask! Mr Clean does rinse his dishes, but then he leaves the dish and the mess in the sink to dry up which is harder to clean then one dirty dish.

Start a job finish the job. Put it in the dishwasher, then clean the sink. love you honey

Ah, Noura! You have been watching the feel good commercials. You know, the ones where everyone helps. The only way that's going to happen (listening to soft music etc., etc.,) is that you have to plan it! Have you tried reversing roles? You know, you sit and watch your favourite on TV, and ask him what's for dinner? Or you have to start very, very slowly. Make his favourite dinner, but "ask" for help in the prep. Good luck!

noura_latif
Haha! He does it because you let him. Why should he help when he has a maid to do it all? I have been lucky, my husband likes to bbq so he is more willing to assist in the kitchen at other times & our 3 sons have been taught that the food doesn't make itself & the dishes don't get done by themselves. They all know how to load a dish washer because in order for them to eat off of clean dishes, they learned how to load the dish washer. If they want food & they are the only ones home, then they better learn to cook, etc.

Your husband is lazy & believes cooking & cleaning is YOUR job, so you need to help him understand that it is also HIS job. Send him shopping with a list, have him set the table. If he is rinsing but not loading, then call him back into the kitchen to load & even run the dishwasher. This is NOT 1955, men get away with that crap because they are allowed to.

When we were first married, I would either send a grocery list to work with my husband so he could get the groceries before coming home, or I would call & leave a list on his phone.....before cell phones. If he didn't get the stuff then he got whatever I could scrape together, good or not. Also, he pulled the "if I get the wrong stuff she'll stop having me go to the store"......Nope! didn't work. It just made me send him BACK to get the right stuff or again he ate what I scraped together, even if that was peanut butter & jelly. He also tried the "if I don't put the stuff away in the right place she'll stop having me put things away" thing also. You know, groceries, laundry, dishes, etc. But that didn't work either. I told him that I would just keep having him do it til he got it right & if he was so dumb it took longer than most, then that's how long it would take! Same with doing laundry. You would be surprised how fast they learn how the washing machine & dryer work, when they run out of clean clothes.
I told my husband early on, I married a man, a partner & did not married my master or a child who can't do things for himself so he better not expect me to be his maid.

I agree absolutely with the above except................ We had a very traditional marriage. I was a stay at home mom did not go out to work for the time that our children were young, so there really was no reason for him to be doing much stuff in the house. He was a great father, very involved with the kids as soon as he got home, when we had three under 5 years of age I also had a weekly cleaning person.

they all have talents. first hubby made all salads, including home made dressings. you could get cut a few times. I am a great cook, a lousy sous chef. nobody wants to risk it. so they both learned to chop and cut.

Don't sweat the small stuff and be a nagging partner. I'm an old fashion type girl. My husband works damn hard to give my family a great life. He can do no wrong in our home. I don't care if he doesn't put his plates away. I don't care if he leaves his clothes on the floor. Treat him like a King treat her like a Queen.

how lucky you are carmen! i will say one thing everyone, all the ladies should read through. it is all about him helping you. that is not the way it should be, we are supposed to be partners. as such we have to accept each others differences and each handle to our strengths. they are not helping us, they are doing their part of the job at hand. well unless you are carmen's hubby.

Love this topic;/ First, lol, wonderful man but can't grasp where things go or how they must miraculously get to where it goes! i.e., walks in door after hard day and takes stinky dress socks off and places on TABLE! Then family trips over huge shoes and chair from where he didn't push back in. Then his clothes are outside shower in floor versus in hamper 1 foot from where he drops them. And wrappers or trash... I have places a huge, open container which should be concealed but I've lost that battle so I turn a blind eye to leave the eyesore out yet trash still sits inches above this eyesore for me to put in its proper place anyhow.

i only have one other item to donate to this. 15 years, will not put the tp in the holder. i leave it off, it just stays that way. after 15 yrs. you hear a conversation in the bathroom, comes out and says, well i never realized that i did not like to do it, because my fingers don't fit. now who or what was he ignoring? 15 years!!!!

i have done it ever since.

I had the same thing with TP and solved it by getting those open TP holders. I found that I liked them better, too! See first photo. I suppose your guy wouldn't even do that?

Here's another idea, since he appears to like to have conversations in bathrooms. Maybe you could strike a deal with him: THIS TP holder in exchange for him putting the TP where it belongs when it runs out? The little shelf is a cell phone holder.

Finally, you could solve the problem with an open holder and reward yourself, too! Swarovski crystals, anyone? Who knew bathroom TP holders could be so much fun?

My husband and I had a good laugh this morning....he just left the room saying you're so lucky! He doesn't cook, so no disputes in the kitchen :)

thanks dottie, actually we had one where you stack them up. but in latest bathroom there is not enough space, actually your knee hits the dispenser. so we keep it in the top drawer.

another hint for those with embattled drivers. our new car has guidance and Siri. greatest thing since sliced bread. he argues with her all the time. he seems less perturbed telling her he is not going to drive off the bridge than arguing with the poor soul who changed lanes at the wrong moment. my only problem is, why does our car look like a plane on their guidance system?

I guess my comment a few hours ago was deemed inappropriate. I just suggested giving that partner in the kitchen a hug while you all still have him/her.

i don't think inappropriate, just in the wrong time period.

He thinks he cooks better than me since he cooks for 20 people at the Firehouse. Problem is he steals my recipes and always thinks he can improve them somehow. Also, I have caught him adding things to what I'm cooking when I turn my back!

I will admit, he is one hell of a chopper. Whenever he offers to help, I try to give him something to chop, preferably onions (;

But, the worst thing is no matter what I decide to cook for dinner, he tries to get me to change it. If I say we're having chicken and mashed potatoes, he'll say "Can we have fried potatoes?" If I tell him I'm making burgers and a salad, he'll say "Can we have baked beans too?" He never ever just says "that sounds good", he always wants to change it in some way--- unless I tell him I'm ordering pizza!

is it just me or is the tp thread running into the cooking thread?

I'm sorry, but a handful of these don't seem like issues to me. I live my parents and they sometimes don't wash dishes, period. Sometimes they just rinse them and put them back in the cupboard and they're still dirty. Also, we have to hand wash the cooking utensils and pots and pans, which I think is pretty normal though. However, they are letting me stay for free and I understand that it's their house.

One partner (who should be in the kitchen) is reading the paper in front of the fireplace. It’s the other partner, who is the problem. And my issue is keeping her off the counter!

I hate it when my husband goes through my fridge and throw away the leftovers without asking just to make me mad. And he likes doing that all the time . He is a bully and i hate it. Last time i had chicken leftover , he gave it to the dog and laughed at me just to make me mad. What can i do ... have no idea. And to start a fight.

The kitchen is his place and I love to keep it that way. The only thing that bothers me is he doesn't change wet towels by dry ones.

I haven't read all the posts but it's nice to see we all have our idiosyncrasies. My husband joined me in the kitchen 4 years ago when I had to have my Achilles Tendon replaced. He took over most of the grocery shopping and food prep as I was literally unable to go down the stairs for 8 weeks and then about 8 months later had a DVT which turned into a life threatening bout of PE. I am so grateful for his help as I need to have the other ankle treated for the same Achilles replacement and I am frequently in a great deal of pain. However, that doesn't mean I don't still get irritated over how he loads the dishwasher! I try not to be so picky because it only took 20 years for him to know how to grocery shop, prepare a simple meal and do the dishes!

My husband wipes the counter with a dry sponge. Ewwww! But I love him to death and he is a great baker.

Right when I'm down to the wire he steps in and starts washing dishes! He could clear and set the table, pour drinks, take dishes to the table but no, he's got to wash up! Plus, he leaves doors and drawers open and doesn't put away whatever he's taken out to use. It's just best that he not enter the kitchen at all.

We don't get in each other's way because he won't let me in the kitchen when it's his turn to cook. I'm not even allowed in the same state. Now that we're empty nesters, we take turns cooking. And whoever cooks, the other one cleans.

I don't like the way he cleans but because I get a break from cooking the next day I've learned to refrain from commentary. And I try not to watch what he's doing with the sponge cleaners etc... I keep telling myself I can clean it all over myself when it's his turn to cook the next day. I'm sure he's thinking the same thing when I cook.....

We also eat out a few times a week which gives us both a chance not to have a heart attack over the other's cooking/cleaning.

I will hand it to my hubby on this one: when kids were at home and due to nature of our jobs I did almost all of the cooking and clean up, he never once sat down and rested until the clean up was done and I sat down. In those days our kitchen was too small for two so he bussed what he could then stood on the other side of the peninsula out of the way, keeping me company until I was done drying the last dish. He could have sat down on the nearby kitchen table but he did not. He could have traipsed off to relax with a beer to unwind from the day. He did not. He stood instead, until I was done.

His mom raised him right.

What I don't like is him rearranging the items in cabinets, while he has a blind spot on his clutter and dirt everywhere. Shoes, coats, pants, medicines are all over the living room, yet I'm not allowed to keep the kitchen organized. GRRRRRRRRR

He doesn’t believe in cleaning as you go - makes a huge mess while cooking. Things like - putting the spaghetti sauce stirrer right on the counters slopping sauce everywhere (just put a paper towel down), messes a million bowls and spoons and just leaves them in piles in the sink, allows oil to splatter all over the range instead of sopping it up with a damp paper towel. I like to clean as I go...small potatoes in an otherwise amazing relationship and husband so I’m not complaining, but since you asked ;))

HA! This one is EASY!

Hubs will take a HUGE enormous tupperware and put a tiny spoonful sized leftover in it, it's like he has zero spatial relations.

THEN, he will take an entire pallet of water, case of beer, whatever, and 100% fill the fridge to the brim. Now there is nowhere to put the HUGE tupperware container with the spoonful sized leftovers.

Did anyone mention empty ice cube trays put back in the freezer yet?

To be honest, my husband comes in to keep me company, and he’s so silly and cute he distracts me and I’ll forget an ingredient or over cook something. I have to ban him from the kitchen when it’s something that can’t be screwed up!

I guess if I had to pick a “real” thing... he takes the trash out and doesn’t put in a new bag.... but if it means he’s taking out the trash, I guess putting in a new bag isn’t a huge deal.

I also should have asked to take out the trash AND put a new bag in.... oh well ;)

jenn, i just noticed your last comment. I raised my son right. he was taught basic hemming, how to make all his favorite meals, how to wash and clean. the last time i brought it up to a girl friend, she was gone shortly after and I got loads of veiled threats on telling people personal business. he is now 38 with child and significant other. she still believes he is clueless.

Husband does the dishes while I cook. I’d rather him entertain the kids if need be. I clean as I go, piling dirty items In the sink so they’re not in my way while I cook and so they’re all ready in the sink to be cleaned after we eat.

Leaving the cabinet doors wide open! Like really, I can't.

Replies are really funny. We love them anyway! ;)

@Alisa Sever, I read on your post that you are allergic to dish soap. Have you tried Dr. Bronner’s Castile Soap? It’s made with natural ingredients and it can be used for cleaning everything. This cleanser is gentle enough to be used on the face, but it also doubles as a shampoo, dish and laundry detergent, or a household cleaner. I love it! 👍