I love Touch of Gray (2116-40). I used it in a guest room--it's a subtle gray with a hint of lavender. Winter gray (2117-40) is a bit darker.

How about this one - 1413 Purple Haze

I like Queen's Wreath, #1426. Definitely still purple, but calmed down with the gray tones.

I recently picked up a sample of BM's Stormy Sky. It looked charcoal-y in the can, but came out very nearly purple. I was using it for a silly little project and it wasn't right at all for my purposes, but I thought it was very attractive.

Oh, and I really like the look of BM Wisteria, which looks like exactly the muted purple-gray that I most admire. I might even prefer it a shade lighter than on the color card. But of course you never know what you're going to get until you slap it on the walls.

Stormy monday or San Antonio

I've been eyeing Sleepy Hollow

beacon gray.

within the Affinity collection, there may be something you like

http://www.benjaminmoore.com/en-ca/for-your-home/colour-gallery#&ce_vm=2&ce_col=AFF

Abalone. It’s a beautiful creamy grey that has a subtle lavender undertone.

BM Pale Oak

It’s very difficult to suggest a color on line not knowing you lighting or your space. A Gray/ purple can be such a beautiful color in a bedroom; one of my favorites. Do you prefer more violet or more blue though? More gray than actual color?