What state is this? And what is the cutoff?

I am really surprised your district is so strict with this. I live in NJ with a cutoff of October 1 and a lot of parents routinely hold their children with July thru Oct birthdays, particularly boys for sport reasons (annoying but true). So we have some classrooms where some kids are a full year plus a few months older than the kids kids who were sent on time. The parents make the decision and the school can only make their recommendations based on the test results. I am very relieved that my son missed the cutoff by 5 days so I don't have to decide.

I have a lot of elementary education teacher friends and they have always said that most of the time you can't really tell whether to hold a child back a grade until third grade or so. And I do have some friends that did decide to hold back in third grade and have no regrets. So whatever decision your daughter makes doesn't have to be forever.

Was your granddaughter a preemie at all? If so, I would go by the due date and not by the birth date itself.

As far as hyperactivity goes...I had a very active child (about to turn 18 now) and decided to go with the high energy levels. So to teach her letters, numbers etc, I made felt letters etc and had her go jump on them to identify them and race around around to find the next one. She got tons of exercise as well. My theory is that some kids are like dogs and need to be tired out a little so they can sit and concentrate. It worked as she is about to graduate with over 20 college credits and almost a 4.0.

Good luck with the decision. Parents really have the upper hand in public schools so if she really wants to hold her, then have her make a stink. They may be being strict because it's a smaller class than normal or maybe they know the following year is a big one.

We've had kids at both ends of that problem, one too far ahead for grade, one too far behind. I guess I don't understand the age issue----you mean if she turned 18 or 19 they wouldn't let her finish secondary school? Would there be another school she could attend? Is private school an option, at least for high school?

Even if the child could complete kindergarten well it doesn't mean they're emotionally/socially ready to skip it and jump to first grade. If the parent doesn't feel she's ready to jump into first I would fight it. I'm not sure what that means though for finishing based off their current school laws......

I'm sorry you're daughter's going through this.

I work in a private school in Canada and teach first grade. I really can't believe they are pushing this. I would never push a child ahead if they aren't ready. Even if they are ready academically, if they aren't ready socially, it is usually not a good situation. Are there other schools in your area you could try? This sounds harsh, but schools also take into consideration their situations - for ex. is their kindergarten full and their grade one not? My principal (who is a dear in every way) has been in situations where she's had to make this call based on numbers - not necessarily what teachers are recommending. Maybe another school that has a lower kindergarten population would be happy to take her.

In our area, the system right now won't let kids easily switch grades up or down even if everyone agrees it is best, so my advice is to really consider carefully what is best (and it sounds like you are). It is easier in private schools and we do it occasionally. She could always finish up in a private school if she really can't finish in the public. Where we are, I don't think there is a problem staying in school after a certain age.

I kept my youngest boy out a year, he has a May birthday and just was not ready to sit still. I had talked to the principal, who I was close with, she said it very rarely hurts boys to keep them out a year. I noticed a marked difference in his concentration and ability to stay focused at about March Or April the following year. He went when he was 6 and graduated at 19. Best decision I made.

It sounds odd that last year she missed the cutoff for K, but this year she's too old for K?

Life is not a race. If you feel she needs to be in K and not 1st grade, then that is what needs to be done. Do not let the school intimidate you.

We had our oldest repeat 1st grade. It was the right decision. He caught up later on and will graduate HS with his age group.

I thought the same thing as bpathome. Why should she miss K? I don't know anything about schools in Canada, but there seems to be a big difference in the US in what kids learn in pre-K vs K, which these days is more of a prep for first grade. If your daughter had already made a decision for your granddaughter to wait a year and opted for the pre-K year, then why is the school forcing a skip now?

I think your daughter needs to make the decision based on what's best for her child NOW - not in the future and not worrying about what would happen if she might have to repeat a grade down the line.

It's important that she gets the appropriate foundation now. I just can't imagine why they're pushing to put her directly in 1st grade without Kindergarten. I know you said you're in Canada so I'm not familiar with their school system but here in NJ it's very common to hold kids back if they're close to the cut off date.

Is it full day K? Was your pre-K the equivalent of the public K? I thought Canadian schools have Junior Kindergarten, some even full-day, but perhaps that depends on the board?

Kindergartens are set up by province. In B.C. kindergarten is now full-day. We don't have junior-K but rather pre-school which is only part-time. In B.C. kids can, if someone gets picky, age out of the school system at 19 and yes, you're done and out.

What are her fine motor skills like? Can she write her name, write her letters, can she sit for 30 minutes and colour/draw, can she sit for 20 minutes and do a puzzle.

I don't know what sensory processing means for your daughter. I knew what it meant for my son and even though he had a very late birthday and sensory processing issues, we always found that NOT holding him back was the best thing. We thought it was important that he learn to face new situations, with our support, head on.

Like your grand-daughter he was friendly, social, out-going. Those things are difficult to teach.

What is your daughter fearful of for her daughter? Failure or inability to cope, immaturity, what. Like I said, her being friendly and social will go a long way to coping with new situations. Daily explanations of what her day will consist of will help her cope.

But your daughter knows her daughter best.

I just had a look into red shirting (holding kids out of school for a year) and the best advice I saw was to go visit the classroom she'd be going into. You may find the grade 1 classroom is great and would totally accommodate your granddaughter's needs and be appropriately challenging while also not delaying any additional support she needs. Or you may step into the classroom and think - wow, she would be in misery here at having to sit still so long or whatever.

Kdg. is not MANDATORY here. It is there as a choice but no one will come to your door and care or ask why your 5yr. old is not in school. First grade is mandatory and truancy will be called to find out what your education plans are. Here in the USA we have a sp ed system that would allow a parent to call a child study meeting where you could invite all your people or present their findings and together the groups would decide best school placement/support systems or your child. I do not know your laws so it is difficult to offer a solution.

I think it depends on what the system expects a first grader to have learned in kindergarten. In my area, K is really what first grade used to be. Most K are expected to be reading and writing. If that is the case in your area and she does not have those skills, then I would hold her back, if at all possible.

I generally prefer a slightly later start for kids, perhaps because all 4 of my kids are generally late bloomers. However, kid #3 is autistic. He received early intervention and then was in the preschool program through the school district here. To continue receiving services, he was required to start K with his age group, though I preferred to have him wait a year. My thought was that I would just make him repeat K if necessary. At the end of the year, academically he was on target so it was thought holding him back would be of no great benefit. He is now in 6th grade. Academically he is above grade level, socially, he is still somewhat limited. I think an extra year might have been helpful for the social but he would have likely been bored. In general though I would say that he survived and has continued to grow through the challenges. I will say that these type of situations are the hardest on me as a parent as I know my children well and so it is hard to know when to step back and give them the opportunity of a challenge or put my foot down and advocate for what I feel they need.

Thank You so much everyone for your replies. To try and answer some questions, last year she went to the registration and was told her child then would have to go to kg even though she was born 8 hours before the cut off. but the parents really felt their girl was not ready so just did not register her and sent her to a private pre k , thinking that this year they would then accept her at the school but now this year they are saying no, they will put her in grade one.

she was born sept 30th and the cut off in Quebec is oct. 1st.

now in Quebec we have the French boards and English boards, my daughter wanted the French school because it is walking distance from her home and most neighbors will be going there. They are a very traditional type school with strick guidelines that don't seem to be easily crossed.

the English board, is much more pliable and seem to try and work with the families. Their are strick rules in Quebec about the eligibility of who can go to the English schools and luckily my gd because off her parents and grand parents English education background will be eligible.

the English board is willing to accept her with open arms. The English school is about 2 miles from her house and they would bus her for kg and grade 1,2. after that she walks or we drive her.

so, I know most people will say then go to the English and be done with it.

1). french school....closer, more immediate neighbors going, I think a better stronger school for education but that is probably why they are not flexible.

2) English school.....further, less friends close by on street, a more flexible program which I saw before as not as good but maybe that is better, who knows?..

3)..... The language itself is not a problem, my gd already speaks both languages and the English school is 100 percent immersion of French for k, and grade one and two.

it helps me to write all this out because I think it makes things more clearer for making decisions but I still like to hear people sake on things.

again academically I am not overly concerned, it is her emotional upheavals that will give her problems. It would take me too long to try and explain her sometimes strange behaviors. Ok, now I am rambling...

If academics aren't a problem - would it be possible to put her into grade 1 in the French school with some support from a behavioral interventionist? I know my cousin's child (on ASD spectrum) has benefited greatly from a supportive and loving relationship with his BI.

What is Special Education like in PQ? Here, a child may have accommodations ranging from very simple (always sitting at the front of the room, or using a balance ball or standup desk) to more involved, such as a companion or pullout for therapies. Sensory issues may mean that a child has a quiet space they can go to, with a signal between child and teacher when the quiet space seems called for. And perhaps SpEd varies with the board, too.

Good questions, robo and bpathome,

i will have to ask my daughter to look into how the two schools differ in their approaches to sp. Ed.

so far, one problem seems to be that until about 7 years of age they tell me and I read this also that you cannot fully test for ADD or dyslexia .that is why her tests so far show sensory problems but they cannot test deeper.

i hear of so many kids that are not found out about problems until grade two and we thought that by trying to get on this problem early we might be able to help her overcome any setbacks that might show up later but it seems like this whole system is not tailored to help until later on.

In the NYC public school system, there is a strict cut off policy like the one you describe. Kindergarten is not mandatory here, so in your DG's case, she would be put in first grade in the fall. You could put her in kindergarten in a private school or the English school and then transfer to the French school for first grade. That is what some parents I know have done in NYC.

I have a fair amount of experience with this as a sister/aunt/bff... a number of people very close to me have birthdays in August, October and November. Almost across the board, the mothers who sent their sons into the higher grade regretted it -- especially in the high school years. In all three cases, the boys were physically large and intelligent.. but they were clearly behind in maturity. My friend is giving her son a year at home between high school and college because of this. Three of my nieces-- all born in August-- have thrived in their teen years and have not had a problem. I'd say one is much less mature than the others-- but at this point, i don't think it has a thing to do with her being half a year younger than her peers.

This doesn't really give you an answer but I think it's important to look ahead. The later in the year they are born, the more behind they will be in emotional maturity at key points along the way. I do think this is more marked in boys but it isn't always the case.