A lot of people really do mean no gifts. I would give them a lovely card.

I would follow the instructions - no gifts. I'm planning a 60th b-day party for DH and we want/need no gifts so invitation will say no gifts. I sincerely hope people will honor that request. We just moved and we had so much crap to get rid of that the last thing we want is unneeded and unwanted gifts.

Instead of gifts for my parents' 50th, I asked people to send me a photo or a letter or a memory and put together a memory book for them which they really enjoyed. So if you feel a need to bring a gift, a note and a photo would fill the bill and be more meaningful than a tchotchke.

I love Annie's suggestion. That would be a meaningful and lovely thought while honoring the no gift request.

For my 55th birthday, we took the people that were my closest loves in this life for dinner at our club. Their presence was my gift and it was my most favorite birthday!

I love Annie's suggestion. That would be a meaningful and lovely thought while honoring the no gift request.

For my 55th birthday, we took the people that were my closest loves in this life for dinner at our club. Their presence was my gift and it was my most favorite birthday!

I agree with the above - definitely no gift, but do give a nice card and/or thoughtful, personal note if you so desire.

I think the etiquette police still maintain that even mentioning the word "gift" on an invitation is a faux pas, but I can certainly understand why people want to get the word out. Knowing that there is a "no gift" policy, I actually think it would be rude and presumptuous if someone were to show up with one.

A friend who held a big birthday celebration recently said 'no gifts', but if one chose, to make a donation to the local ballet company, which she supported. If you know of a charity the couple supports, make a donation in their honor.

Wow! Thank you. This is not what I expected.

The invitation says "Your presence is our greatest gift".

This is someone who lives out of state and I have seen them just a few times since their wedding 50 years ago. I can hardly even give a thoughtful, personal note!! I fully expected that people would say to take a gift anyway. I really did. I have been so stressing about this as I know what they are like. Nothing would be up to their standards. I don't have any pictures or anything like that. I have received these invitations before and have always taken something - nice to know I don't need to --- although I know I will get there and there will be a table full of gifts - that is why I am so torn.

Thank you.

although I know I will get there and there will be a table full of gifts

But those are from the people who lack comprehensive reading skills. ;-)

That is funny, TR. Thinking about it, I am not even sure why I was invited!!! This is a relative, but still. Of course, much better than when I usually see them, which is at a funeral!

Personally I think you should honor the no gift request. If you can't write a thoughtful note and just can't go empty handed then take a small floral arrangement. And I mean small - my neighbor gave me a lovely tiny arrangement of miniature roses and greenery in a vintage porcelain teacup. It was absolutely charming. Leave it in your car, asses the situation when you arrive - you could always run out and bring it in.

You can pass by the gift table smug in the knowledge that you respected their wishes.

There must be a memory from their wedding that you can dredge up and write in a card. Yours was the (first/most memorable/ oddest) wedding I ever attended. I still recall how beautiful you looked in that dress. Your wedding gave me the idea to do (fill in the blank) at my wedding. I still think of the fun we had (doing shots/dancing/ giving speeches).

I would honor their wishes and feel good that I did so even if others did not.

Sounds like they want your presence and no presents. I would honor their wishes.

I have to admit I am quite shocked by all the the comments. I always thought "no gifts" was just being polite and they expected them anyway. I really did!

Marie, your flower idea sounds lovely - but while they are coming here for the celebration, but they don't live here. Don't know which house they are coming from or will go back to. Jellytoast, that is so true - they won't have to write thank yous for things they don't want or need. While I am sure they would be appreciative, there is nothing anyone can buy that would please them. She is sooooo very particular. I have never been to any of their homes, but have heard that they are showplaces.

Nope, no gifts means, "no gifts". Honest.

I can tell you from personal experience that people who go as far as putting "no gifts" on the invitations ---politely, of course--- really do not want them. DH and I eloped and afterwards told everyone, repeatedly, that we did not want gifts and we were annoyed when we received gifts anyway! It is extremely rude to act contrary to the stated wishes of the honoree.

I think the notion of donating to charity in their honor would be a fine way to go.

My parents will be celebrating their 50th in a few years, and I can assure you they will NOT want gifts. My mom has been relentlessly purging for what seems like 10 years, lol! They haven't downsized yet, but man will they be ready when it's time. Mom takes particular pleasure in gloating to me that her attic is now, finally, EMPTY! :) They are an age where they have everything they want and need. They no longer value "things" they value time with family and friends, extensive travel, and leisure time activities (golf, gardening, etc.) They will LOVE the large party we will throw, but would not LOVE gifts. I have a few years to plan, but am already concerned about how to get the "no gifts" point across in an etiquette-acceptable way!