Ty, Aktillery.

I'm sorry Tibb - I had to go back through and read comments to see what is up with you. I'm very sorry. It is so hard to deal with the illness or loss of a parent.

Ty Tina. We just got very bad news from the doctors. He's dying.

Oh Tibb, I am so sorry to hear this.

Roarah, I hope you and your family are doing ok.

Tibbrix, I'm so sad to hear your news.

I'm so sorry, tibbrix.

So very sorry Tibbrix. Keeping you and your dad in my thoughts as well!

I'm so sorry to hear about your dad, Tibbrix. Keeping him and your family in my prayers.

I'm so sorry Tibbrix. You and your family are in my thoughts.

Tibbrix, I am so sorry for you. I hope this next stage of life is filled with peace, love and as little pain as possible for your dad. He sounds like such a wise, kind and wonderful man whose mark on this world will far out live his body. Please know that your family is in my thoughts and my heart.

surgery went well and the liver was only a cyst but lymph node biopsy will take "10 business" days to come in and there is a small mass on kidney and four nodules on his thyroid but these are rare places for his cancer to spread to so dr thinks they are not a worry at this moment but will need further exploration after my DH has healed from this surgery. Both kidney masses and thyroid irregularities are common in all adults so they could both very likely be nothing at all. Although the wait goes on I am feeling more like myself today and the clean liver makes me very hopeful that a good prognosis will come our way. But he will need tests, scans or scopes every three months for years to come so I guess I should get use to waiting for answers for it will be our new norm.

thanks again for all the time you all have taken to help me get through this crisis. It means the world to me and has helped me so much these past few weeks. You are all truly special people and I am so happy to be a part of this wonderful community!

Oh that is a good day!

btw you may already have read about this, but nodules on the thyroid occur in something like 20-30pct of adults and they very recently decided not to label them cancers, because they aren't.... I will find the nyt article and add it.

thanks for taking the time to post.

Thyroid "tumors"

Such a good update, Laura.

Thank you for letting us know.

Tibb, I am so sorry to hear the sad news about your father.

Sounds promising . Thanks for checking in.

Laura, thank you for taking the time to write a post. You must be exhausted. Glad for the good news.

Hugs to you tibbrix.

Glad for the good news roarah!

Tib, I'm so sorry about your dad. You've talked a lot about him and had nothing but nice things to say.

Roarah, I'm so happy for the good news. Try to remain positive. I know, easier said than done. May good blessings come your way.

So glad for the good news! Thanks for filling us in. Sending you hugs and courage as you and your family continue through this process.

What a relief for you! You can catch your breath and rest in the moment. The surveillance ahead is manageable, I promise.

( Heartily recommend info on thyroid posted by mtn above.)

Thanks everyone. Reeling right now, of course . While not surprised, we are still shocked and we were not expecting this.

Roarah, I apologize for the interference of your thread re: my father. I am thrilled for you, though, and it actually helps now to hear positive news. Very glad that you can relax for a while after some very stressful days.

Wishing and hoping for the best for you and your family, Roarah.

ETA: Yes, he is an incredible man who devoted his life to social justice and the care of other people. He really did change the world for the positive.

Happy to hear it's some manageable, good news Roarah. Hope you can relax for a bit as you continue through this process.

tibb, I have said so many times in the last few years "you never think about this time of your life when you are young." What I mean is you don't think about the time that may come when you have to care for a parent, etc. It's extremely hard and stressful. My husband and I have each lost a parent to cancer. My MIL is actually in remission at this point (lymphoma). It boggles the mind. If it is an option, I encourage you to look into Hospice for your dad. We had a wonderful experience with Hospice with my mom and they really were so supportive of each family member, along with my mom. We had them again recently for my grandmother. My prayers are with you in this difficult time.

Roarah, I know you must be breathing a sigh of relief. Waiting those 10 days is so hard! I had a biopsy last year, and that waiting period was the very worst!! As I stated, my MIL is in remission right now. A little over 2 years. When she first finished treatment, she had scans every 3 months and blood work at least that often, maybe more so, I don't remember. I believe now she only goes every 6 months for each.

Yes, Tina, we will be calling Hospice today. We want him home (at my sister's) and as comfortable as we can make him, and my sister did a Herculean job of taking care of him over the past nine months, so she needs the break and to hand the care now to someone else so that she can just be with him now.

It sucks.

I'm so sorry tibbrix. While we are blessed and grateful for lives
long-lived, the truth is we never want to lose anybody. I wish for you,
your father and family much peace and comfort.

Laura, so much
good advice and calming influence here. Allow me to add that I am
thinking of you and your family and wishing the best for you. You
surprised yourself when you explained the situation to your DD. You're
stronger than you think because your strength springs from love, which is the greatest motivator of all. Wishing you many blessings.

tibbrix, I'm so sorry. Having been through several health crises with my parents and my favorite aunt, I know it's difficult to see someone vital start to fade, even when it's expected.

roarah, I'm happy to hear your good news, and hope it continues.

roarah, am glad that the surgery went well- hoping the lymph biopsies are clean!

tibbrix- so sorry to hear about your dad... it's so, so hard to watch parents die... hospice will hopefully keep him comfortable. peace.

Yes, it does suck. We felt the same way with mom - wanted her at home and none of us (I have 2 siblings and my dad), and were so thankful to be able to do that.

(((((Laura))))) and (((((Tibb))))). Thinking of you both today and praying you and yours will be surrounded by much love and light.

So glad for the reassuring news, Roarah. I once had a nodule on my thyroid and before they knew what it was, my doctor said, "Well, if you have to get cancer, the thyroid is the best place for it." He had kinda a weird bedside manner, but you get my drift. Thanks for sharing your updates and I hope it's all continued good news from now on.

Tibbrix, you've shared many wonderful stories about your dad's wisdom and faith with us. May his lifetime of service and grace reward him with peace and comfort now.

Laura, I'm so happy to hear that the outcome now sounds more positive. You are an amazing lady and I'm glad to call you friend.

Tibb I am so sorry to hear about your DF. I hope that his last days are filled with peace and love. I am sure that it is comforting to know how much good he has imparted in his time on this earth.

Roarah, that is really positive news. So glad to hear it, and I hope the lymph nodes come back clear as well. Wishing you the best, hang in there.

Tibbrix, so sorry to hear about your father. From what I have heard in your comments here, he sounds like an amazing person. I'm glad you and your sister can be with him at home with hospice.

This part of life is so much harder than I ever thought it would be. Hugs to everyone!

roarah - so happy to hear that you've received good news so far - hopefully more of that to come with the remaining unanswered questions.

Tibbrix - very sorry to hear the prognosis for your father. So hard to go through these difficulties that are part of life.

It is so heartening to read all of the heartfelt comments here.

Thank you all so much for your thoughts.

We "awoke" (who could sleep last night? Not me!) to some different news. Dad's attending doctor said the gastroenterologist was "out of line" saying that dad has days to weeks to live and that it is not the case. Later today, his oncologist agreed with her, and also said the gastroenterologist was "out of line" (and this is a Boston Hospital - great, great doctors). His attending is saying his life is not in imminent danger, and she even said he could see two to three more years.

So the last 24 hours have been quite a roller coaster, and of course we are choosing to believe the attending and his oncologist. We still need a couple of answers as to what the entomologist was talking about (blockage in his bile duct), but we are celebrating his birthday today and he's just returned home from a week in the hospital.

giving thanks for small blessings and renewed hope.

Thank you all again so very much. People always say these conveyed thoughts "mean so much", and I'm surprise to learn, as I go through this, that they really actually do!

Oh Tibbrix what wonderful news! My brother in law was given less than six months to live after his diagnosis of liver bile duck cancer but lived for six wonderfully full and painless years with the help of excellent trail drugs. When he did pass his liver was still clean but the cancer had metastasized to his spinal fluid around his brain like Valerie Harper and look how well she is doing now so I believe if he had it today Bill might still be here.

i hope you have many more wonderful moments and memories to share with your father too.

that's strange that hospice was recommended when it really isn't- the pt is usually pretty close to death with that rec, but that's good news!

ps- you might want to correct 'entomologist'-- funny typo!! lol

So glad you got some good news, Roarah!

Tibb-My 84 yo dad was put under hospice care last October, and we really believed we would lose him that week. He is still alive, and in fact looks better than he has in years. You just never know!

Oops, gastroenterologist.

So, no. My sister waited until they got home late this afternoon from the hospital to tell me that the three doctors spoke today, and the attending and the oncologist are now more backing the gastro doctor and saying, "Maybe a matter of weeks, but we don't really know." Dad told my sister, when they got into the car, that he thinks he has two weeks left. The scary thing is, he has really sharp instincts about this stuff. Up, down, up, down...I don't know. I don't feel hopeful. And to top things off, I just got a $55 parking violation ticket courtesy of the Boston Police Department due to two very confusing signs while getting my father his prescription for anxiety meds!

Ever have a day where you just want to put your head in the sand?

So happy for you, texanjana. Really helps to hear happy stories from others who've been through this sort of thing.

So sorry Tibbrix. What a roller coaster ride for your family.

Sorry Tibbrix... And yes lately I have wanted to crawl under a table and hide many times and to be honest one day I spent hours doing nothing but crying whenever I had a moment alone and it actually helped me feel a bit better in the end so if you get a moment to yourself "sticking your head in the sand" might not be a bad idea. And after you re submerge you can focus your energy towards enjoying every moment you can with your wonderful father. I hope you have many more moments together than is expected.

Still thinking of both of you.

If it were me, I would go ahead and set up a consult with Hospice. They will evaluate your Dad and they really are good at knowing when the time is near. It's really amazing. My grandmother was on hospice for about 6 months (the limit before re-evaluation) a couple of years ago and bounced back. This January, she was put on just 3 days before her death, that's how fast it happened.

roarah & tibbrix, thinking of you both, wanted to check in. Hope all is OK with your families.

ty, beagles. Very kind of you. Dad is on short time. We don't know how long he has; days, weeks, hopefully a few months? We've been through all of the end-of-life counseling: physical, spiritual, and legal, and Hospice began last week. My doctor prescribed some Valium for me should I need it. I'm trying to be mindful of the fact that this is a natural part of life, that we had him much longer than we should have, and that I am sooooooo lucky he is my father and that the world is soooooo lucky to have had him in it. I try to keep perspective, but the agony of this does make me wonder how the heck people who lose young spouses or children....out of order losses, cope.

As Queen Elizabeth said of her year of 1992: Annus Horribilis.

Glad to hear you, your dad, and your family are getting the needed support. We went through this w/ my mom (cancer, she was 57) and we did hospice too, I too was comforted by knowing I had a wonderful mother and it was better to have had a mother I loved so much that her loss was so hard. My grandmother on my mom's side lived until 97 and no matter how long it is, it is never enough time w/ the people we love.

Hoping for many more months of times together for you and your dad.

that's what I'm talking about, beagles. Perspective helps. It's enough for me that my father lived a full lifespan, and I'm very, very grateful for that. But your' right, there is never enough time and it's agony for all.

Well said, beagles. My Mom was just shy of 60 when cancer claimed her. The loss is never easy, but glad Hospice can ease the remainder of your Dad's life on earth and provide support to your family too. Hugs to you!

@rorah - very glad to hear positive news for you and hoping for more going forward.

I wish everyone could be spared all this medical stuff. Sometimes I think about the advancements of science and medicine and I'm so grateful to be living now instead of hundreds of years ago. It still hurts getting inaccurate information or waiting for all the tests and surgeries. Be good to yourself in this very stressful time. Ask for help when you need it. I did my neighbors yard work for a year while his wife recovered and I was happy to help them. It was one less worry for him.