New Build Venting

10 years ago

Retirement home construction is well underway, but not without problems (is any new construction without issues?) I know everyone says wait until drywall is up to make judgements on size of house, but I can already tell the house is too small. My DH took my favorite floorplan and had the architect cut off ~200 sq.ft. to "save money", but it is coming back to bite us at every turn - I've had to rework the kitchen island, recess the frig into the utility room which cut down the size of the pantry, and now with the change of the kitchen island, the dining room space is going to be too narrow. Some changes could be made fairly easily but hubby is resistant to doing any knockdowns at this point, saying it will weaken the structural integrity of the house. The dining room issue could also be solved by getting rid of the existing dining room table and chairs, and getting new furniture which fits the room, but he wants to hang on to the dinosaur.

We can't agree on light fixtures and every suggestion I make is met with a scowl and the statement "You watch too much HGTV". I'm already lost interest in the new house and want nothing more to do with it. How in the world am I going to survive the next few months - the new construction is 5 hours away and I have been trying to pack at our city house to get ready for new carpet and hardwood refinishing, but I'm constantly being harassed for not being at the construction site (despite being chastised for every single suggestion I make)....

I honestly don't see the big deal about making changes to the new construction as issues come up because I don't want to live with regret for NOT fixing them when we had the chance, but my husband won't let me. URGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Featured Answer

cpartist

10 years ago

Slow down, and get a glass of wine. How about posting the floor plan to look at. Honestly, before drywall is up, it really has no sense of scale. Rooms that definitely looked too small before drywall were up, looked positively huge afterwards.

What you need to try and do is divide up the chores depending on who does what better. Not sure if you can at this time.

For example, DH is much better at figuring out things like HVAC, pool systems, etc while I've got a design background. However even with my design background I "include" DH in design decisions. I do it like one would do with a child. ;)

I will find 2 or 3 lights I LIKE and then let him choose which of the three he prefers.

However some places are the domain of whomever the space belongs to. He can do whatever he wants in his study, and I can do whatever I want in my studio.

I do the majority of the cooking, but he takes care of the dog's food most of the time, so while I made sure the kitchen worked for me, I also made it easy for him to prepare the dog's food. (She eats RAW.)

You might be too far into the process and too entrenched already, but see if you can take a step back and start working together.

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Comments (9)

Architectrunnerguy
10 years ago
I also made it easy for him to prepare the dog's food.

Whew!! Glad to hear that!....(inside joke between CP and I).
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Kimberly S
10 years ago
What you need to try and do is divide up the chores depending on who does what better.

So true! Give him his details to decided it works like a dream!
cpartist
10 years ago
Whew!! Glad to hear that!....(inside joke between CP and I).

Well we do have priorities!
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CASEY BUILDING SOLUTIONS
10 years ago
I do not think anyone can tell without a plan if there is an issue about saving 200 sq ft. I cut 400 sq ft it looked good.

Post a plan ( it sounds like it is stock anyway).
midwest gal
10 years ago
So sorry you are not feeling like your voice and ideas are being considered during this very stressful process. It sounds like your husband is very concerned about costs and the budget which is driving hia decisions. Is there anyway you can have input or make decisions if you tell your husband you are staying within the allowances for your build? Is there an area you would be willing to cut costs to cover the cost of making the dining room larger? Good luck!
just_janni
10 years ago
I totally understand your frustration - but I am in the cost cutting camp in my build (LOL) Please take a deep breath. Focus on the things you can do that will be important to you - and use Houzz as a resource for custom touches that can be done for little / no cost, but only require some planning. Take time to find deals on "upgrades" that can bring them into "standard" pricing ranges.

DO NOT let this impact your thoughts about the house (i.e. don't let it be tainted) and DO NOT let this impact your relationship with your husband.

DO tell him about your concerns of the above though (I did) and it did open a god dialogue.

Hang in there - it's totally not easy - but try to focus on some fun stuff. I find that searching for ideas on Houzz can be inspiring and bring good focus back.
Sunny Days
10 years ago
I decided before we even broke ground that there's not one thing in our house or about our house that is more important to me than the love of my life. We've done surprisingly well, but my heart aches for you! Like the others have said, step back, calm down and try a new approach. Talk to your husband about your frustrations over a nice dinner or drinks, AWAY from the house. Devise a plan that allows you both to have your opinions heard. If he scowls at every suggestion you have, ask him what his suggestions are and see if there's something you can live with.
cpartist
10 years ago
As others have said, much of this sounds like he's getting a bit of cold feet over the cost to build so realize that as you talk with him.