My cabinet colours and countertop are very similar to yours and I also chose a subway tile BS. :) I went with the lightest grey tile I could find to keep things light. I think #2 and 3 out of your choices work best as they have a warmth to them that goes with the wood. #1 seems cooler to me but your counter sample seems to have cooler tones too so maybe #1 could work too! Sorry, I'm not very helpful! ;)

My kitchen isn't done yet but here's a close up shot of my two cabinet colours together with my counter and BS:

I strongly advice putting all the samples the way they'll be installed in the kitchen. Slab will be horizontal; the tiles and the cabinet doors will be vertical. The light hits surfaces differently depending on the angle; the color is perceived differently. try to put them together according to the order they will actually go. will be easier to judge the real colors (although not easy to hold them like that lol). I can tell you what I'd prefer from looking at my screen, but i feel it might be a very, very big miss. first, look at them in the right order.

You can leave the paint decision for afterwards; you have the most possibilities with paint, so no need to pick it right away. choose your hard finishes first.

As for mixing the metals-I'm wholeheartedly for the mixing:)

As long as you repeat the finish somewhere else-I'd say you're good. But do repeat it, even if in tiny accessories. If you're having it somewhere in an adjusting room, open plan-also good.

I love the second pendant more, but light fixtures are really very personal. Like watches..:)

They are great candidates, but I strongly recommend that before chosing a bs tile, you:

A.) Google images of kitchens that have your cabinets and counters and collect the looks you like, and

B.) WAIT UNTIL YOUR COUNTERS ARE INSTALLED before you choose a bs tile if this is possible. It really helps to see sample tiles in your space in your light before you choose one.

Good luck!

I think it looks very pretty. Congrats!

Beautiful kitchen & the backsplash & light fixtures are perfect! What are your countertops?

Looks great.