this is his living room and kitchen area and office! i cringe every time i go over there. it just kills me. he laughs at me every time i tell him how awful it is and WHY does he live this way?!! he just cracks up at me.
so he'shaving knee replacement surgery next week and he is showing me all the important papers, just in case... All of the property he owns, the folders are all in a big red milk crate behind his desk. I have to show you his ledger. I was laughing hysterically. the man is a hoot for sure. He has actually written on the outside of the notebook "front" and "back"! HA!

I may be crossing the line here, but Dad has some form of depression. mp, is he alone, Mom gone? Except for one pix, it looks pretty neat. Was he an athlete and is no longer? Age?

Do the inside pages say middle or center??? He is a hoot!

Obviously a man who was in control, Not now, maybe scared he is facing old age? Ask him point blank if he has a will. Ask him should something happen who will be responsible for his holdings? Do you have siblings?

mayo clinic: People who hoard often don't see it as a problem, making treatment challenging. But intensive treatment can help people who hoard understand their compulsions and live safer, more enjoyable lives.

Well... at least he's kind of an organized hoarder!

roo.... we have a much different situation here in Memphis. One, we have a very high poverty rate here that goes along with a very high under education level. Back before the mortgage bubble burst.........we had some pretty serious cases of what the courts have classified as predatory lending here. So much so that Wells Fargo Banking has settled with the City of Memphis to the tune of some $245M as part of a class action suit. Heck you could get a loan for $300k - $400K with little money down, some fictitious income amount and an adjustable interest rate that was anywhere from 0% or 2% (teaser rates) that when the bubble went pop suddenly were 12-14%. Heck there were so many "social programs" that people who were living in public housing on SSDI could qualify for a $200k mortgage loan.............you would be hard pressed to drive just about any street here now that doesn't have a least 1 foreclosure on it..........in our neighborhood I can count at least 5 in the past 2 years just on our block alone. Thankfully, they turned into some pretty good buys for some lucky folks and all but one are living in owners..... with 2 actually being remodeled. Other neighborhood haven't been so lucky.

Yes, MP, I've seen worse :))

P S, while he is in the hospital, grab that Campaign chest in pix # 1. I am very soft hearted, but that beauty needs a home.

MP - better to laugh than cry. I'm glad you have maintained your sense of humor with your dad

Judy - I don't carry full coverage on the vacant buildings. I just have basic liability coverage and take the risk that nothing will happen to destroy the property. You can't get full coverage on unoccupied houses and the basic coverage provided by vacant building coverage is quite expensive - probably 5% of property value/year with a high deductible in addition.

Mp..... 2 words..........fire bomb.

Several years ago, we went to England for spring break and I had a slight problem with the car rental desk. My birthday is 4/2 which they read as February 4 meaning that my license would have already expired. Plus in Illinois, if you don't have any violations, you can renew your license by mail and get a sticker to put on the back which is just a new expiration date. The desk clerk ended up calling over a supervisor to OK my license before she would let us have the car.

Judy, checked out that discussion - think everyone is missing the point, she didn't ask the designer to FIND the tile she only asked for stores that she may have not been aware of. I think the designer has jumped the gun, especially finding a store that only deals with designers. Not buying into this one though.

mp, I will have to say in your father's favour that does look like organised chaos. Trouble with ageing is that we get very set in our ways and damn stubborn about everything so if you go in with threats you are only going to make him dig in more. He must have good reasons for everything he has, or thinks he has, quite a bit of it looks like keepsakes. It must be very hard for him to clean with it all though and all that paper is a fire hazzard. Using that as an excuse, does he have a room that you could get him to empty out and set up with all this junk in such a way that he can access everything easily. Let him think that you are totally on his side with it all but you would like to set it up in a such a way that gets it out of the way of the main part of the house so that is clean and tidy for his general living. Once you have him onside then you can slowly attack things he has and why he needs them. Break it all down and do little bits at a time.

What is he doing with the condo? Maybe you could move in there and rent your place for a while to help your finances - hehehe.

Linda, When my grandmother died I was the only one left. I cleared out her house, gave away her possessions, as instructed. Somehow, her insurance company realized the house was empty and sent me a notice that the policy would be canceled (even though paid up to date) within 30 days. At that point I had not thought about what I would do with her home. It was a mean wake up call. She probably had that policy with them for over 60 years. So much for the good customer thing….

roo, you think? Going back to reread. Sounded as if this gal wanted something for nothing. Maybe I misunderstood. Thanx.

Hey Judy, Roo, STK, how is everyone?

Kutchie, the banks tried that out here for a while too, maybe with our smaller population or whether current affairs programmes picked up on it quickly and sent warnings out, it fortunately didn't have a huge effect. I think the Govt jumped on it fairly quickly too as it didn't last long. It is hard when you have large areas of poverty and lack of education - sort of what comes first the chicken or the egg - and we don't have large areas like that, you might get a street here and there but that is about it.

Linda, for people with good driving records here, we can get 5 year licences plus they are photo licences so the photos do need to be updated every 5 years. I've actually been keeping mine - bit sadistic really - checking out how much I have aged every 5 years!! They also write the date out so there can be no misunderstanding.

roo - I have a credit card from Citibank with my photo on it...at least it used to be me! The photo was taken when we opened the account about 15 years ago and they just keep using the same photo every time we request a new card. In that photo, I have long hair and was wearing contact lenses. Now, I wear my hair short and no longer wear contacts

A few years ago, I had an appointment for a hair cut and I told hubby. But, circumstances changed and I ended up moving the appointment forward a day. I picked him up and he didn't say anything about the haircut - several inches cut off, not just a trim. He and I stopped at a store and I pulled out my credit card to pay. The clerk took one look at the picture and looked at me and said "Oh, I see you got a hair cut and it looks really nice." I laughed and said that it was nice someone noticed.

I am in a Nancy…but I am being stubborn. roo, reread and I am holding firm. Luv ya.

Going good thank, Norm, whatcha doin?

Well I went down the road for a stickybeak at the flipper house and met half the neighbourhood there so had a lot of fun and the Agent ended up having to throw us all out. Then trolled onto another neighbour who has just put an amazing room and decks on the back of her place for a stickybeak. They were going to come up and check out my bathrooms too, but people started running out of time. That is how things happen in this neighbourhood - nothing is ever planned.

The Agent did get one offer on the house today - I'm not sure if it related but I did hear him saying something to someone about a figure in the $1.1m range. Generally in the neighbourhood no one was really impressed. I think Houzz would have been very proud to show it, everything was well staged LOTS of candles burning right through the house and the whole place was suitably neutral which translated amongst everyone as boring - take out the furniture and the place was just a white and greige shell. It had quite a large laundry with a shower and toilet but I think they had extended the master ensuite into it and only had a toilet there. It is right beside the pool, so to take out the shower was totally crazy. In extending the master ensuite they had put in a full bath, which to me is unnecessary unless you do a spa bath or something exotic but then the shower - bobbi I cracked up thinking of you - honestly it was about 2ft square, walls on 3 sides but no door, there just wasn't room for one. Right beside it was the loo (without the built in basin) and they had put a rainwater shower head in - instant flood. Gave us all a good laugh, but it would have been so much better as it was and with the shower in the laundry.

The kitchen was all new cupboards that looked very cheap, like a too white plastic, and the doors were really hard to open - except for the one I opened easily ................. and walked off with the door in my hand. Honestly, you can't take me anywhere!!! It had a really deep cupboard to one side of the kitchen which was actually a linen cupboard but the idiots had taken it out and put in a heap of fancy useless shelving so the house now has no linen storage at all. For $1.3m - I don't think so. They had removed really nice quality carpet in the main living area and hallway and had sanded back the original floorboards and painted them in a beachwood finish - looked like bleached driftwood - and that was really nice, I would love it, but the floorboards were not well laid, mine are really close together, these had a big enough gap to make dust and dirt a constant cleaning problem.

Going to be interesting to see how long it takes to sell and for how much.

Hi Roo, I've done the flipping thing. From 1999 to 2006 I had a realtor as a partner and we rehabbed 80 properties, enjoyed it alot.

Checked it out again Judy, she definitely only asked for the names of some shops. Yes it is nice if the designer went further as a favour but I think the whole thing has reached the point now where the poster needs to contact the designer and ask her what she expects. The whole thing could be a storm in a teacup. I'm rather thinking the designer may have done it with a view to further business. I think the last poster has summed it up well - write her a note and ask her to clarify the whole situation.

Norm - that sounds like real fun. Many years ago in my youth, people were buying really old properties near us in those days for the princely sum of $7k tarting them up and reselling for around $13K. In those days we didn't have Capital Gains Tax so it was very worthwhile. I wanted to get involved in it but BH does not have an adventurous streak in him at all and refused to do it. Also wanted to buy 3 beachside homes that were basically fishermans' cottages for around $7k each and just lease them out for the future. They were at beaches considered totally out of the way in those days but I knew the city just had to grow somewhere. Ten years later those suburbs were in high demand and my cute little cottages have now been replaced with McMansions that sell in the $4m range, even with the original cottages would be worth around $2m. I could have been so rich today.

Hindsight definately is 2020 Roo. If we had kept about 10 of the forclosure properties we rahabbed for rentals, which my partner wanted to do, we probably would have lost them all and gone bankrupt. In Florida it looked like a freight train of U Haul trucks leaving the state.

Norm it wasn't so much hindsight as as totally no vision at all where BH was concerned. He still doesn't get it!!!! Tells me I just wanted too much?????

In defense of the gender 8-) we have simple needs.

O K roo, I will. It just seems to me that once you contact a professional for help and pursue it through the professional's venue (a Design Center), a charge is to be expected should she order the tile. And the others who suggest that she take the info she has received and go on-line to beat the charge….

But, I'm thinking, roo. I have been know to change my mind…not often, but sometimes.

Yeah, this is fun.

Bonsoir, mes amis.

Judy, I was following that thread also. I agree that telling the person to go online and find it was in bad taste. Pretty soon there will be no more brick and mortar stores if everything goes to a store, touches it and feels it, then orders it online

RE: daddio
jude he has a will and everything...and there are 2 other girls besides me, but i'll be in charge if anything happens. he was just trying to explain to me about all of his properties and the tenants etc. He has some that are in contracts as far as owner financing etc. i know most of the particulars, but still. he is very old school . we were discussing whether it would be better just to sell all the houses etc. and then divide the $ between us, rather than you get these houses, and you get these houses, etc. and yes...how did you guess. He is a former professional baseball player! Big jock. That's why the knee thing has been killing him. He is just down to golf as far as sports. Used to be a big tennis player, basketball, anything just about. He's not depressed though. He and my mom are divorced. She remarried, he never did and prob never will. He really has no desire. He's happy in his mess....lol
the funny thing is that my mom is one of the MOST anal people you'd ever meet. Very neat house, no clutter at all. Her house looks almost like it's staged. Very weird. Thank goodness I turned out somewhere in the middle of those 2 extremes. Have one sis that is just like dad though.
oh yea...he has the desk (only great piece of furniture in the room and a small chest that matches it!) Everything else needs to be put on craigslist in the free section.
roo...he has 3 bedrooms in this house. i have even begged him to use one of the bedrooms as his office. but he has a huge desk in the living room facing the tv. and the recliner is butted up against the desk! with those 2 tv TRAYS to the left of it! His house is actually pretty clean except for the dust on his collections of crap. ha!
I would love to go over there while he's in the hospital, but he may kill me. I would love doing it, but i'm not sure he would feel the same.
Anyone need any golf clubs???? lol

(p.s. my computer connection died last night...hence the delay in answering.)

Wow mp, this is bizarra, I have just got advice of your above post and possibly another one you may have deleted???

I wonder if your mum's over zealous tidiness is part of the reason why your dad is like he is. I'm sure she must have restricted him when they were married and now he is letting it all hang loose as kind of a retaliation, but has gone too far the opposite way. Maybe a tidy up that isn't too zealous would be a good start and gradually bring him back to normal.

I can understand him having the desk with the TV in a way, especially if he uses his desk a lot, which it sounds like he does. Maybe putting the TV AND the desk in a bedroom might be an answer and have the lounge room just as a sitting room or a library/reading room might be the way to go.

Violence and road rage is really becoming an issue here, even guns are starting to get out of control, we feel we are following in America's footsteps. Sadly it is pretty much all one particular nationality that is involved which is really turning people against anyone of that nationality as well as immigration in general. We really feel the average Aussie is being taken over, we just collectively aren't the same people any more.

I just got that notice, too! I think for men, having the desk in the living room in front of the tv makes perfect sense. This way he can work on his papers while he watches tv, right? Uh huh. R is ALWAYS asking me why I clean the house. Seriously?

I like the idea of a desk and a tv in the living room. Can we also have a mini fridge on top of the coffee table?

Well, if your tv is anything like ours, with the number of ads, I get extremely bored just sitting through them I always have something else on the go.

Wouldn't you just love NOT to clean for a week to let them see. Trouble is most of them don't notice the difference.

A mini fridge on top of the coffee table. A small cook plate, perhaps? A microwave doubling as an end table? Oh, Norm.....

Roo, he would absolutely never notice, I guarantee it.

Norm - you are worse than Kutchie!!! But that is a good point - if he takes over a bedroom with his desk AND puts a TV in there, he could certainly have a mini fridge - coffee maker - microwave - whatever and create a real nest he can close the door on when Mendi visits. I've seen lots of lounge rooms with walls of bookcases so to create a nice sitting room for visitors, that doubles as a quiet reading room for him is a win/win situation. Gets everything out of the kitchen so it is clean and clear, he has a nest he can close the door on and one room to keep nice for guests. Glass doors on the bookcases will reduce cleaning too.

I think they call that a Man Cave.

Exactly!!! Where are you Mendi??? Repurposing rooms and thinking ourside the box could be a happy solution for everyone.

In my defense, I do all the cooking, which includes the dishes, cleaning the kitchen and grocery shopping.

I'm impressed!!!! Rather bizarre, all our roosters are cooks, cleaners and totally self sufficient.

Norm, do you have a special dish you like to cook?

Lately my favorite has been a blackened grouper rueben. Heat a dry pan to 400 degrees, take a grouper fillet no more than 1/2" thick and spray it with cooking spray, both sides, then sprinkle blackened seasoning on both sides. Place filet in hot pan, approx 5 min. per side. Toast marble rye bread, add thousand island dressing to toast, add a layer of saurkraut, filet, swiss cheese. This can be done with any fish, grouper is local here and quite good.

Isn't grouper a deep sea fish?

Yes, I've done this recipe with talapia though too.

What is blackened seaoning?

Norm that sounds delicious! Maybe you can bring some of those sandwiches to the next OLLD saturday night!

Roo , google it, you can make your own

Norm, I don't care much for fish, but I have to admit your recipe sounds good!

Thanks Norm - no my tum wouldn't like it.

Roo, you don't have to use a lot.

Cayenne and paprika - my tum starts at the smell of it. I am getting an OLLD bore!!!!

Roo, how about lemon pepper seasoning?