On becoming a hermit
Does anyone else not want to go out?
It is so bizarre, but I really don't want to socialize right now. It seems absurd to get together without discussing the election ... is is the "elephant" in the room right now. But..
I find that everyone wants to talk about it, but really only after they try to feel you out to make sure you are "one of them". Then they let loose!
I feel like I am living in the USSR and I don't know who might be KGB. Absurd I know.
Some of the press, (the elite media who I unabashedly respect and love) have shocked me with how extreme they are in discussing the election. One called it a cataclysmic event akin to Pearl Harbor and 9/11. My goodness, just when I was starting to feel better. I mean really no one has died, and T is not my cup of tea but I don't think he wants our country to fail. And we have checks and balances and representation. for goodness sakes. OTOH, a colleague was discussing it with me (he was an H voter) and I found myself tearing up as he discussed his disbelief and dismay.
We are starting the social/party season and I am not feeling up to it. Confession: I have resorted to looking up party affiliations on line for a dinner party I am going to Friday. That way I know in advance that it's probably best to avoid the topic, just like they always said. Never before have I felt the need to avoid such discussions.
I know this is not good behavior. This is my confession!
Comments (146)
- 10 years ago
Oh Mayflowers, I hope the efforts of your community help those who may feeling disenfranchised right now. Not just the Latinos, but all who feel this way right now.
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Yes, that could have been me posting, but, thank you, runninginplace. I am also fearful for academia and education. I have already seen the "we're coming for you" postings. http://www.statesman.com/news/local/texas-state-university-police-looking-into-trump-vigilante-fliers/jhWSmmhNxxuTXZaQJiYhNI/
Thanks for the heads up on the safety pin campaign. I have just added it to my Twitter avatar. I had the rainbow banner after the Orlando shootings and now I have just changed it. I didn't want to feel I was just "taking down" the rainbow twibbon because the issue is not going away.
We went to a concert the other night which made us feel better, but like mtn, I scan the crowd and wonder . . . .
My women's group had a function where DH and I were sponsors of the cocktail hour. As you might imagine, it was planned to be celebratory. He really didn't want to go, but I went, and I'm glad I did.
Aktillery, that was a great story. I worked the polls on Tuesday for some women from my women's group running in state races, and I spent some time talking to a Muslim woman wearing a hijab who brought her son. She said she was Palestinian but was a refugee in Saudi Arabia. She has not been a citizen that long and this was her first presidential vote and felt she had to come out. I met an Asian woman and Hispanic man who were first-time voters.
- 9 years ago
It's a very real fear that Dreamers will be deported. They know no other home and are as American as you or I. It's a disgusting thing Republicans are trying to do.
- 9 years agolast modified: 9 years ago
Webuser's apparent understanding of what it means to be a Christian is terribly flawed, and as one myself it saddens me deeply because that's the mindset that turns people away from Jesus with an absolute revulsion. Christians should be striving on a moment by moment basis to become more and more Christlike, and that has everything to do with love and zilch to do with politics.
- 9 years ago
Mtn, if you think elevating Pence was a hopeful, reasonable sign, you may want to research him and his policy positions. Just a thought.
MtnRdRedux
Original Author9 years agoCyn, yes , point taken. I am so traumatized that I am appeased with miniscule improvements. Pence's policies/beliefs are not mine at all of course, but he does not seem like a lunatic. This seemed like a victory to me. Oh boy.
- 9 years ago
Pence isn't a lunatic, he's just very right wing. He's got a law degree, experience as a governor and in Congress. He could do the job. At least he's not going to be Twittering about his sexual exploits at 3 a.m., or dissing John McCain, Cruz, et.al.
In other words, he's an adult, which would be a massive improvement over the Orange Toddler of Doom.
- 9 years ago
I was going to say what scone911 said. He may be a right wing republican but at least he's an adult. He is someone that can be argued with and not have a twitter hissy-fit.
- 9 years agolast modified: 9 years ago
Pence & Co. running the show is better than Trump himself, particularly for those of us who fiscally and socially are not disadvantaged or in a minority. My fear is that one day Trump will wake up and realize he has only nominal power and is just a figure head, and then become a bull in a china shop. He won't have any party obligation and will just do what feels revengeful and reinstating of his power.
- 9 years ago
I'm very worried about him picking Steve Bannon as chief of staff and giving legitimacy to the fringe. But maybe it will be Newt with his knowledge of Washington. I'm sure they're considering all his best babysitters.
- 9 years ago
Here are just a few of his stands:
Voted YES on building a fence along the Mexican border. (Sep 2006)
- End Birthright Citizenship (Apr 2009)
- * Voted NO on assisting workers who lose jobs due to globalization. (Oct 2007)\-hmmm, do those out\-of\-work workers who voted for him know this?
- Voted NO on expanding the Children's Health Insurance Program. (Jan 2009)
- * Voted YES on opening Outer Continental Shelf to oil drilling. (May 2011\)
- Voted YES on barring EPA from regulating greenhouse gases. (Apr 2011)
- Voted NO on enforcing limits on CO2 global warming pollution. (Jun 2009)
- Voted NO on tax credits for renewable electricity, with PAYGO offsets. (Sep 2008)
- Voted NO on tax incentives for energy production and conservation. (May 2008)
- Voted NO on tax incentives for renewable energy. (Feb 2008)
- Voted NO on investing in homegrown biofuel. (Aug 2007)
- Voted NO on criminalizing oil cartels like OPEC. (May 2007)
- Voted NO on removing oil & gas exploration subsidies. (Jan 2007)
- Voted NO on keeping moratorium on drilling for oil offshore. (Jun 2006)
- Voted YES on scheduling permitting for new oil refinieries. (Jun 2006)
- Voted YES on authorizing construction of new oil refineries. (Oct 2005)
- Voted YES on passage of the Bush Administration national energy policy. (Jun 2004)
- Voted YES on implementing Bush-Cheney national energy policy. (Nov 2003)
- Voted NO on raising CAFE standards; incentives for alternative fuels. (Aug 2001)
- Voted NO on prohibiting oil drilling & development in ANWR. (Aug 2001)
- Rated 0% by the CAF, indicating opposition to energy independence. (Dec 2006)
- Bar greenhouse gases from Clean Air Act rules. (Jan 2009)
- Signed the No Climate Tax Pledge by AFP. (Nov 2010)
- No EPA regulation of greenhouse gases. (Jan 2011)
- Drill the Outer Continental Shelf; & license new nuke plants. (Mar 2011)
* Future of conservatism demands traditional marriage. (Feb 2008)
* Voted NO on prohibiting job discrimination based on sexual orientation. (Nov 2007)
* Voted YES on Constitutionally defining marriage as one-man-one-woman. (Jul 2006)
* Voted YES on making the PATRIOT Act permanent. (Dec 2005)
* Voted YES on Constitutional Amendment banning same-sex marriage. (Sep 2004)
* Grant the pre-born equal protection under 14th Amendment. (Jan 2007)
* Declare preborn as persons under 14th amendment. (Feb 2009) - 9 years agolast modified: 9 years ago
Mayflowers, by "fringe" I meant disadvantaged. I edited mine because I know who you're referring to as the fringe.
ETA, yes, Bannon is just going to work toward institutionalizing racism.
- 9 years ago
Pence is scarier than Trump IMO because he has actual experience getting things done in the political arena (terrible things, again, IMO), isn't a flake and, most importantly, is an alt right, christian theocracy true believer. The more influence he has in the Trump presidency, the worse it will be for our secular nation in the long term.
I live in Northern NY, very rural, and our county went Obama the past two elections. This year we voted Trump (not me), and it's not because we want the wall or to repeal Roe v. Wade or gay marriage, most folks here believe government should stay out of bedrooms and personal health decisions, but they think the government isn't working and wanted to send a message. I approve of the message, but certainly not the messenger and I believe if Bernie had been the nominee, our county would have gone blue again. The Clintons had (and I hope it's past tense) far too much influence over the DNC, and they and Debbie Wasserman Schultz own the loss, but they won't take responsibility for it, and reading about HRC's blame game nonsense with James Comey and the damn emails (yes, that was a Bernie callback) is proof for me.
- 9 years ago
Thanks, lakeaffect, for explaining what I view as the lunacy of Pence. He may be educated, he may have gov't experience, but his views are lunatic fringe to me.
- 9 years agolast modified: 9 years ago
And yet the person Trump seems to trust most is Kushner, who's a Jew. Apparently Kushner got Christie chucked out-- there was a grudge there as Christie sent Kushner's father to prison.
There's bound to be a lot of infighting in the coming months, but Trump's M.O. is to trust his family and long time associates first. Pence, like all vice presidents, was put on the ticket to attract a certain crowd, but he's not a tested part of Trump's inner circle.
Again, I can't help but think of the Mafia. If it goes that way, and the Trump circle suborns the Department of Justice and FBI, we'll be in for some massive corruption.
- 9 years ago
Scone, I was just reading up on the Kushner/Christi connection. This was old news so I'm thinking that Christi was eliminated because of the bridge incident.
- 9 years ago
And Ivanka is a jewess, converted. So no gas chambers in the immediate offing although trump has been an equal opportunity offender with no strong antisemitism, imo. Pence is hugely scary to me bc he does not listen, he is canned. Trump does listen and seems flexible, to some extent.
MtnRdRedux
Original Author9 years agolast modified: 9 years agoAnd Ivanka is a jewess, converted. So no gas chambers in the immediate offing
I'm assuming you are being hyperbolic, but in any event it is not okay just because that one particular minority may be "safe". That was not the lesson I learned from all of the wonderful and brilliant art and literature about the Holocaust. "Never again" does not mean "never Jews again", it means "never again", period.
- 9 years ago
I've come to recognize what I've been suffering is not grief, but deep existential dread. I am afraid I'll be in my 60s w/ no health insurance (millions of others as well), and even worse, the administration that is being assembled will likely be in charge w/ the president absentee. Our nation, our environment & the world are at risk.
When was the last time a Republican administration did not do damage to the US economy? We were just emerging from the last recession & now here comes another assault. Europe has been struggling more than the US. That may flip. Many, including my kids, will likely be impoverished by these guys & their cronies.
Acts of racial/ethnic/religious hatred are mushrooming, most disturbingly among schoolchildren. Swastikas are appearing. The KKK is thrilled @ the election outcome. I think I have good reason to feel dread - not so much for me personally, but for all who suffer and will suffer.
We've had offers from friends in Norway to come & live there, but I don't see it happening.
- 9 years agolast modified: 9 years ago
Trump has been around (and worked with) corrupt New Jersey politicians his entire life. And he's no stranger to scandal, lawsuits, and poor political "optics." I doubt that would faze him at all-- he just put Bannon in the White House despite the optics. I doubt he gives two flying f**ks about it.
Be that as it may. I've read thousands of pages of commentary on this situation, and this is the one piece that I think really matters. I highly recommend reading every single word carefully, and even the comments (for once).
- 9 years ago
I've seen that a few times, Scone. It was posted by one of the GW KD who lives in Mississippi but who sounds like he might be a liberal.
I would also recommend this series where Van Jones goes into the homes of Trump voters. I've only watched the first video so far, but I like how he said that people don't understand our founding principles of liberty and justice for all. He says that some of us who support liberty so strongly don't support justice just as strongly.
http://www.cnn.com/2016/11/12/opinions/van-jones-messy-truth/index.html - 9 years ago
First, the Republican Party gave up their right to claim they are the party of family values when they put in a candidate who admits he assaults women, been married three times, cheated on all of them, and has a wife with nude, soft porn photos on the Internet.
Now, with Bannon's appointment, they can no longer claim they are not racist. What can be next?
Way to go America.....because a private server was so much worse than this.
- 9 years ago
Although I wonder if it will do any good. Coastal elites "studying" the heartland like some sort of exotic alien species, doing studies, writing white papers... and then nothing happens.
Our fellow Americans just threw a bomb into the machinery because they are so fed up. It's the shot heard round the world, ironically. I don't have any solutions here.
Anyway, I have to go in for chemotherapy this week, and I'm feeling very drained, so I'll bid all you good people TTFN. Take care.
- 9 years ago
Thank you for your interesting contributions, Scones. I hope you will come back when you feel up to it. All the best with your treatment and recovery.
- 9 years ago
I enjoy your posts too, scone. Good luck with this week's treatment and looking forward to your return.
- 9 years ago
Scone, thank you for the article link. I wish you the best with your chemo, and hope you can come back here soon.
- 9 years ago
Oh scone, take care and good luck. I hope all will be well. You will be missed. Please come back and let us know how you're doing.
- 9 years agolast modified: 9 years ago
I am enjoying your posts too Scone. Wishing you strength and comfort.
- 9 years ago
I read a number of the posts and agree -- if people in social situations want to discuss it, great, but don't force others to discuss it or make them state their views. I did not vote for DT or HRC (despite much consideration and despite having voted in every previous presidential election since I was old enough to do so), because neither of them represented my beliefs. I understand that there is angst and anxiety, and I even understand the depression of some. I am not a Trump supporter, but I am a supporter of America, and hopefully we will get through this.
My personal story with discussing/not wanting to discuss -- trying to be polite:
My next-door neighbor is a nice, well-educated lady but she tends to monopolize conversations even when the other party clearly wants to leave or change the subject. I think she does not have many others to talk to. She is very much on the Dem side and came to our neighborhood book discussion (which I am in part a leader of) with election info printed out from our county and wanting to talk about the election. After some time, one other group member (who I very much admire as a model of politeness and maturity) said she would leave if we did not start discussing the book. We did so from that point on.
I then made the mistake of leaving at the same time as Next Door Neighbor, who then told me about how someone she knew worked for the EPA, which Trump has said he would eliminate or do something about (in her words, I don't really know what he has said). Trying to be polite (It was also 10:45 pm and 45 degrees outside, as we stood in her driveway) I wished her happy Holidays and started to walk away toward my house, and she shouted after me "I guess you dont want to discuss the election!"
Um, Yes! Not sure how else to deal with this type of situation ...
- 9 years ago
I wished her happy Holidays and started to walk away toward my house, and she shouted after me "I guess you dont want to discuss the election!"
Sweet smile, pleasant wave goodbye, as I respond, "You're right! I really don't!" Have a nice evening!
- 9 years ago
IdaClaire, that is exactly right. I think I said something like that.... I just tried to be very calm and pleasant.
I can always think of better comebacks to these situations 10 minutes after the moment has passed ....
- 9 years agolast modified: 9 years ago
"And Ivanka is a jewess..."
It is never appropriate to call a woman a jewess. Ever. We regard this as a slur.
We wouldn't call Michelle Obama a negress, would we? I hope not.
It is correct to say:
Ivanka is a Jew.
or
Ivanka is Jewish.
Thank you,
Sable
- 9 years ago
- 9 years ago
Thank you for explaining that, Sableincal. I'm not Jewish but have Jewish friends. I've never used that term but would not have known it was offensive.
- 9 years agolast modified: 9 years ago
I read the Cracked piece too & it made me recall this very thoughtfully written op-ed:
http://www.rollcall.com/news/opinion/im-a-coastal-elite-from-the-midwest-the-real-bubble-is-rural-americaThe bigotry and racism is real - and quite understandable - not so sure about excusable, but most definitely understandable. I have many relatives in WI, living in affluent, lily-white suburbs who've rarely, if ever, had personal relationships w/ African-Americans or anyone else darker-skinned than themselves for most of their lives. The above op-ed was shared by 1 of my WI cousins who now lives & works in NYC.
- 9 years agolast modified: 9 years ago
I'm back, I decided not to do much of anything relating to the political news for a bit -- I didn't want to overstate (or hold back). At any rate, I am 1) hoping for the best -- maybe MAYBE Trump will be a decent president. 2) I went up into the mountains on Nov 9th and were they ever lovely! Yes, Sassafras Mountain in South Carolina overlooks four states that went for Trump, but this Earth is my rootings, and mountaintops don't vote. This calmed me down a lot, because the mountains themselves don't think about our concerns, but instead, theirs. (Not that Trump has an environmental bone in his body, but I don't think Clinton is all that concerned, either.) 3) I am going to concern myself with actual issues that I continue to think important, no matter who is in power. I don't care who marries who, as long as they LOVE each other -- and that is NOT for me (OR YOU) to decide. OR the government. I care about the issues at Standing Rock, and that putative pipeline. Clinton wasn't going to halt it, either.
I am still bemused by people voting for Trump, although in a couple of instances I understand and accept it. I don't think this makes them ipso-facto racist or homophobic or antagonistic to women -- I think they wanted change at any cost, or that some of them were so paranoid about the homicidal rumors of Clinton arranging political murders -- and so sucked in by Breitbart/Coulter/Hannity that ultimately I just feel sorry for them.
I do have at least one friend who voted Trump who doesn't seem to me to be on the Breitbart path -- and she also doesn't seem to be on any hate path either. I'd rather understand her than cut her off. Right now, it is kind of hard. Not because I wanted Hillary Clinton but because I want to understand how we can move forward for our country at large, and that's something that will not remotely come forth from the Hannity-ites.
And during the Bill Clinton administration, our economy moved forward and grew in ways it didn't in the Bush years. Father (whom I actually liked), or son.
Still. Here we've elected a guy who is up for statutory rape, who insults POW's, who insults Moslems who have served this country, who is up for charges for "crookedness" over Trump University and a few other things, not to mention that statutory rape, who blatantly hired illegal immigrants in years past without a concern, who has NO understanding concerning international affairs, who has a Putin connection. Who chose a VP who has no concept of true civil liberties in this nation. Oh well, the majority of voters have spoken. So.. I have to shut up.
No. Not today, not tomorrow. He's our president come mid-January but I'm going to remain speaking up.
- 9 years ago
Considering all of the crimes he has committed, there is always the remote possibility that T will be sent to jail - if only for raping a 13-year-old girl. I'm trying to think of another president with such a criminal background but cannot come up with one at the moment. He definitely qualifies as a sociopath, but then that is fairly common among politicians (and 6% of the general population).
I called my sister in Texas (who is a lawyer) yesterday to see how she was handling the outcome of the election, and she told me that legislators in Texas are already hard at work on hate legislation to legalize discrimination and criminalize all abortion, even when the woman's life is in jeopardy. I'm afraid that a sleeping giant has been aroused/woken up. The one glimmer of hope, she said, is that there is not a 60% majority in the Senate, but if senate rules are changed, that may not matter.
My brother's employees (two of whom are black) are terrified of what will happen in the near future. Their fears may not be realized, but the fear is there just the same.
At least in California we have state laws to protect us, but that is not the case in Texas. I really dread having to go back to Texas to visit my relatives there.
- 9 years ago
carolb - Thank-you so much for posting that Op-ed. It was well-written and I enjoyed reading it. I hope more will find it and read it.
- 9 years ago
What we need is confidence that together we will not let bad things happen. We can and we will. We will not sit back and let it happen as we watch it on TV or read about it on the internet. Get involved and stay connected. I'm sad about the election but not scared. Hate is not going to win.
I Believe President Obama when he said most Americans are good and want fairness. I'm not discouraged, I feel it's more important than before, to reach out, to call out false statements, to hold the media to reporting and not trying to entertain. But mostly to keep talking, even with people who may disagree.
This is a good place. There are good people here. You all inspire me.
Please don't let this ruin your holidays. Work hard now for results in the midterms. The last thing we want is to be divided, isolated.
- 9 years ago
Lars.....I think the woman in the child rape case dropped the suit. Before a scheduled interview she said she had been threatened, did not do the interview, then a few days later dropped the case.











Debbie Downer