Hmmm. I would tend to associate it with "fighting fairly" maybe? Therapists and counselors started recommending beginning statements with "I feel" rather than "you always" or "you never" as a way of lessening defensiveness as the reaction from the other person.

I know it's different but maybe it's an extension? I think I actually do say "I feel" more than I used to, dang it.

Saying "I feel that..." might be a way that people communicate online in order to come across as not confrontational and open to and respectful of the opinions of others.

I think it's a nuanced way of communicating one's opinion.

Given how online forum communication can be a veritable minefield, I think it's acceptable and not indicative of dumbing down.

In my professional life I would not have any credibility if I used the phrase "I feel" vs "I think"

I agree completely. In my workplace, I cannot think of a single time that I've heard "I feel" to express a thought or an opinion, and I'm grateful for that.

I do think that "I feel" is appropriate when one is speaking from the heart and discussing issues on an emotional level. It's the overreaching use of "I feel" into the realm of thought and idea that I find objectionable.

In the education literature, the use of "think" and "feel" often denotes different personality styles or learning styles. For example, global learners are more prone to saying "I feel" and sequential/analytical learners are more prone to saying "I think." This is a gross generalization and everyone has bits of both styles in their brain box, but these differences in perception profoundly affect how we navigate the world. More people are global than analytical, so appealing to that cohort with your language gets you further with your PR/Media. Marketing 101, heart trumps head. The last election was a case study in that phenomenon. Anyway, look up learning styles and global vs sequential/analytical for lots of information on the two ways of perceiving. Wrong to think you have to be totally one or the other, or that you can pigeon-hole people into a stereotype. But as a teacher, I have to be aware of both types to design learning strategies that reach both. And marketers know this stuff like the back of their hands, it's mother's milk to them.

That's very interest, pinkmountain! Thanks for sharing this info. I am fully aware that I'm extremely analytical, so it's not surprising to me at all that this affects the fact that tend to "think" instead of "feel." Sounds like I should not be so hard on others who express themselves differently, although I must admit that it rankles to hear "I feel" often.

To add, it seems easier to question what someone knows (thinks) vs. what they feel. Even though the words are starting to be used interchangeably. In the workforce, I really try to avoid "feel". I also try to avoid "I think" by just stating what I know and not leading with "I think".

Do we hear "I feel" more often from those who were born after 1985 or so?

This video is a must see for moms and grandparents. It touches on several challenges millennials face. It does not directly address "I feel" but it's easy to see how it started and has gone far past the global vs analytical.

To me before around 1985 or so when someone started a non-emotional conversation with "I feel" it sounded either condescending or whiny. Now it is the norm and is filtering into all age groups. Are we getting it from the millennials? Did we start it?

https://youtu.be/hER0Qp6QJNU

I also try to avoid "I think" by just stating what I know and not leading with "I think".

Yes - that's an excellent approach that avoids all of the unnecessary qualifiers.

Unless I can back it up with facts and data, I proffer "I think/feel/sense" that...

mimipadv, I used to do the same until I received feedback that my responses displayed a "lack of confidence" and "didn't present with authority."

I would not use "feel" in a professional setting, just to be clear. But, for informal communication, such as GW, I use it interchangeably.

I do use, "My sense is that..." when proffering an opinion, professional or otherwise.

Depends on the situation and the intended audience.

Yes, what mimi said. I don't use "think or feel" very much at work. It's a hospital clinical environment and knowledge and confidence are important.

The professional environment I was referring to is the same, cattyles.

Weakness and uncertainty is a huge liability in a Lord of the Flies kind of way ;-)

Too much Oprah, perhaps?

In a discussion where the purpose is to persuade or be assertive, stating what you are thinking or feeling as a statement/fact is more effective. Of course, you have to be able to back up your statement with facts, statistics etc. because surely someone will challenge or question you. Prefixing with I think or I feel weakens the argument. Just imagine someone thinking "who cares what you think and feel". Using I think or I feel seems to be a soft, less confrontational way of discourse. Context come into play.

Both using I think or I feel may be an outcome of the self esteem, politically correct movement of not offending. However, If these intros are used as apologies for our opinion or thoughts, we are in trouble.

There's also the notion that you can argue a thought, but not a feeling. This makes an "I feel" statement closed for debate.

Yes, good point, errant, but a person does not have to care about how someone feels and therefore tunes out.

Words, tone, and context matter. Is my career as an English teacher showing?

justerrilynn, I was looking around fb to link that very video. I found it very interesting.

I didn't read all the comments. I know that when I'm writing (and can "see" what I've said), I say "I think" virtually 100% of the time. In fact, I'm aware of the repetition and don't want to sound redundant, but I'm not liable to swap "I feel" for "I think." I'm organized and linear-thinking. I like math, but I also like words. If I experience a feeling, e.g, longing, fear, elation, boredom, I have no problem expressing that as "I feel delighted," but I don't know that I'd even have to preface it with "I feel," i.e., I'd just say "I'm delighted."

I think (see what I did there?) that I often use "I think" so as to own it and not suggest that it's a universal truth.

At least I think so. :p

I am going to preface this with the fact that I am an INTP personality type. Introverted (vs Extroverted), iNtuition (vs Sensing), Thinking (vs. Feeling), Perception (vs Judgement). We are highly analytical and logical (often to a fault) and the rarest of personality types.

I start with that to let you know where I am coming from.. and also to illustrate that there are many (16) personality types that each have their own approaches to processing information, learning, communicating and interacting with the world.

It's not a surprise that I think more than I feel. And while I think there is room for feeling, I don't usually use the word other than when discussing a sensory/well being experience. It just doesn't come naturally. I don't feel uncomfortable with a decision. I am uncomfortable with a decision. I don't feel like we need to investigate further, I think we need to investigate further. While the reasoning may come from my gut.. it's solidly based on my experiences, observations, knowledge and extrapolation.

I went through the majority of my life unaware that most people process information differently than I do. I thought everyone had the capacity to observe, analyze and come to a logical conclusion. They don't. It used to drive me batty! I used to think people (coworkers, significant others, family members) were being intentionally difficult ... or that they were being lazy.. or worse (I hate to admit this), in some instances, I just thought they were dumb.

As I moved out of roles where I primarily worked alone-- or with other INTPs, I had to start better understanding the people around me. Surely, they weren't all dumb, lazy and trying to get under my skin lol.. instead, I learned that they just looked at the world differently. They tackled problems differently. They communicated differently. They reacted to conflict differently. It doesn't make my way better than theirs.. or theirs better than mine. It just is. I had to adapt, go crazy or go live in a cave!

So, IdaClaire, I get that you are highly analytical.. and that exact word choice is very important to you. While the example you shared doesn't really bug me-- something similar could get under my skin in another context. I just try to remember that only 1% of the world's population is typed as an INTP. The rest aren't banding together to drive me crazy.. they are just being who they are. :)

Funny, as an aside, I would totally have guessed you to be an INFJ. Clearly I am way off! :)

Unfortunately, how people feel, or are manipulated to feel, regardless of the facts is becoming more important than facts themselves, as Newt Gingrich declared in the election.

http://www.forbes.com/sites/startswithabang/2016/08/05/newt-gingrich-exemplifies-just-how-unscientific-america-is/#f82979d28328

I've not noticed a shift from think to feel (though I'm sure I will now) but maybe it happened when we stopped contacting people and started "reaching out", stopped communicating and started "messaging" or when we stopped letting people know about something and started "socializing" it instead.

I'm a thinker all the way, no feeling here and an ESTJ.

3katz makes an interesting point.

I think (see what I did there?) that I often use "I think" so as to own it and not suggest that it's a universal truth.- Linelle

I agree with this statement. I was trying to figure out how to say this and you did for me, thanks.

Another INTP here. Actually, I'm equally Perceptive vs. J.

I use the Myers-Briggs sorter for team building and new employee orientation to demonstrate our differences and talk about how all teams need a combination of types. A faster, simpler work sorter is DISC; Dominate, Influence, Steadiness, conscientiousness. I don't like it as much because people are much more complicated than the one prominent trait that DISC sorts them into.

Everyone has some ability to "observe, analyze and come to a logical conclusion" but some do it more naturally and quickly than others. Your personality type is what you feel most comfortable with, it should not be used to pigeon hole your abilities. INTP's feel and ESFJ's think, they may communicate their observations of the world differently, but we can all learn many different ways of thinking and perceiving. The brain is quite flexible if we are willing to take it out for a spin now and then!

ESFJ here.

What makes me so mad about all this is it's found it's way into our children's text books. How do you grade on how a child FEELS? What's happened to black and white? Right and wrong? Absolutes? Same thing with competition and winners. We can't have a winner. Oh no, it might hurt the feelings of those that didn't try as hard or put out as much effort to strive for perfection or who just simply aren't as good. Why put out more effort to be #1 if EVERYone is a winner? Those kids grow up not being able to cope with real life.

I'm an academic editor working with university faculty and I've noted "feel" creeping into young faculty's writing. It gets weeded out immediately.

The scientist in me thinks about facts, and about cause and effect. I guess I feel aggravated by the creeping conflation of both these words and concepts.

I think, therefore I am.

I feel pretty, oh, so pretty, I feel pretty and witty and bright! And I pity any girl who isn't me tonight.

Monicakm, I Think it's because there is a higher percentage of ES"F"J and IS"F"J people in education/teachers positions these days. There are a few exceptions to this in different regions of the U.S,

To be fair it would be best if educators/teachers fell into the INTP, ISTP or the ISTJ catagories as those are mostly equally excepted. Of course they would have to then adjust their personal views/thinking on the individuality of the learning student.

Right now I think much teaching is done through "feeling" teachers who are forcing this onto non-feeling learners.

justerrilynn, don't assume that all "F" types can't tell a personal feeling from an actual fact. My type values security and stability with a strong focus on the details of life. Punctual, organized. Maybe too focused on striving for control. Practical, down to earth, helpful. I could go on. I/We read people well. I am a dependable and committed volunteer and I like to see things through and get stuff done. I am the antithesis of flaky.

I think it is dangerous/erroneous to view the types literally based on the type labels. I know I started this somewhat tongue-in-cheek with some sweeping generalizations.. but while you don't need to be an expert in Jungian theories of personality types, I think you do need to understand a little about what's behind the typing before throwing the labels about and making assumptions about capabilities. And don't forget that everything is on a continuum.

There's value in all types -- some of us need to adapt more to the other types but the best groups/teams are comprised of multiple types. Our children can learn from all types.

(that said, INTPs make terrible teachers. Ask me how I know!)

Funky, please tell. Why do INTPs make terrible teachers? I find all this fascinating!

And don't forget that everything is on a continuum.

Funkyart, totally agree. I land on E, just over the line from I. I like people, I enjoy gatherings and conversations. But my batteries will drain. I have classic introverted tendencies, but I honestly look forward to being with people, greeting new folks, being enthusiastic. But I will definitely hit the wall and need to withdraw and recharge.

Justerrilynn, I'll start a new thread a little later today. I don't want to further derail idaclaire's thread.

Linelle, I am very much the same. I am not as solidly an I as the other types. I read something once that really stuck with me. On the type scale, I and E don't so much reflect the common social definition of introvert and extrovert. It's more about where you get your source of energy.. and your motivations. This really resonated with me because in my younger years, I was very social, outgoing and sometimes even "the life of the party". I didn't fit the profile of what I then understood to be an "introvert".. and yet, it's true that I get my energy and motivation from within. I need the quiet times in order to fuel the interactive times.

I thought of myself as probably being a INTP but took this online test (takes about 12 minutes). https://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test and found I'm a ENFJ-T.

Never would have guessed my type would have an "F" in it.

JTL :). See, it's not always as black and white as one might think (feel, if that's how you roll). The letters don't work in isolation. I think I'm a very intuitive person, but no N. And Judging doesn't equate with being harsh and unfeeling.

Linelle, you sound like me. I'm an E but on the I end of the scale. I too love doing social things and being with people but it is draining for me, not energizing. DH is the opposite - he is clearly energized by people and social situations.

3katz, yup. I'm an extravert until I run out of steam, and then I just want to go home and be by myself. I bring all my energy to social situations and then it gets used up.

Also, I wish there was a test that didn't telegraph how the answer would peg you. I know I'm giving E answers but I'd like to qualify them.

I have no idea what I am and have never heard of all these INTP opr ENFJ_T, etc. You guys sound more like a new strain of a virus LOL I'll take the test mentioned above.

Monicakm, try taking the test and report back : ) https://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test

Personality typing is a tool to help you work with and understand people, so us folks who have to do that, sometimes know a bit about it. It's called the Myers Briggs personality scale, based on the work of psychologists with those last names. As an ENFJ/S scientist, I am compelled to point out that the literature and research on this phenomenon (personality typing) is far from black and white or settled on absolutes. I read one great critique of the system that says, "Yeah, it does measure something, but it remains to be seen whether it measures something meaningful." And I hate to break it to ya, but science isn't black or white. DATA is black or white, but scientists argue all the time on its meaning. Also, much of science is statistical, meaning the phenomenon are every shade of black, white, grey and griege and so one must look at general trends, and even with trends, they morph and change. The universe is in fact pulsing and vibrating, not cast in concrete. Actually if you get down to the molecular level, even concrete is in constant motion. Like I said before, it really is a shame to use gross generalizations to pigeon hole yourself or your friends and work colleagues.

And, I imagine ...lets say two people tested to have the exact personality type but they were absolutely nothing alike in most ways due to the environment they live or grew up in.

Does that make sense to what you are saying Pink?

For example: surprisingly my personality type is the same as Obama and Oprah. I went through many of the same things and more as a child that Oprah did but in a completely different environment.

Personality typing is about how you approach the world and information and other people, not how the results of that approach are going to turn out. They are a gazillion ways to combine the basic molecules of the world together, same with personalities, there are a gazillion ways your approach to the world will be tested and molded. Personality typing just helps you understand yourself and others and use your strengths and compliment what is naturally going on. For example, introverts can be excellent public speakers and have fun at parties, and the list goes on and on. Their approach may be slightly different, they may get tired afterwards as opposed to an extrovert that may feel energized, etc. As an extrovert, I get so sick and tired of folks thinking we like to be the center of attention. Nothing could be further from the truth when it comes to me. I'm so sick and tired of folks relying on me to get things going because as an extrovert, it's easier for me. Yeah, and it's exhausting and unpleasant too!

OK, took the test. I'm a

Commander (ENTJ-a)

I think there's something a little bit at odds here which is that it's my perception that the same people who are relatively morally relativistic (E.g. marry who you like, do your own thing, dress the way you want) are also more likely to rely on logic, science and evidence when it comes to matters of public policy and not call to precedence or call to nature (or fake news!)

They may also be more likely to use constructions like "I feel" because they know how much they don't know and hence reject claiming authority on the issue at hand. But now that I've stated at my gut feeling on this matter I'm going to go look at the evidence.

Robo, I was with you (and also saw a lot of myself) until you said they may be more likely to use "I feel." I'm pretty much always gonna say "I think." Left brain? Linear? I dunno, but "I feel" is like when I say, "I feel like $##t today," not when I express an opinion.