I have an oak kitchen - many people do and happily live with them:) We simply do not watch HGTV - which is a marketing tool to make you hate your kitchen so you will go buy a new one.

I work with my oak by NOT trying to have a 2017 kitchen, but with oak cabinets - no gray walls or large nickel pulls to try to look "updated".

I chose light surfaces for everything in my kitchen that is not oak in my kitchen and the floor is oak too:)

It sounds like you have chosen lighter surfaces already. One thing I have, but would be expensive to retrofit in if you already have new countertops, is a Kohler Whitehaven "short apron" style farm sink. It really helps bridge the old with the new and can be installed on a standard sink base cabinet.

If you have not painted the trim work white consider doing that. Paint the island cream or white, (or green or blue if you want a color) - not gray. Warm toned woods and cool grays do not bring out the best in each other. If it makes you feel any better, some of the pros say gray is fading and warm tone woods are coming back - in a different style of course than 90's oak. I have also seen this in the new design pics that have come out recently. The island in the most recent This Old House season was ... mid tone oak.

Everyone has their own style - bring yours into your kitchen with art and decor. This will distract from the cabinets. My look is cottage / vintage with a touch of shabby chic - I could do this style with any cabinets. I've seen some sweet cottage kitchens and if you take a look at the cabinets they are no great thing - but the total whole look is cozy - and the cabinets fade into the background. This is not so easy if you have a minimalist style:)

My kitchen is in my "my pics" idea book.

Thanks so much for the response. You are obviously channeling my husband and his thoughts - lol. Funny you should bring up the farm style sink. I was just explaining to my husband today what this was. It sounds like another possible choice to break up all the wood. I do think painting the kitchen island might also be a big improvement. I have wanted to do this for a few years, but never sure what color to go with. And like I said, it is something my husband and I can agree on. So that is a plus. Time to make a choice and go for it! And, eliminating some of the oak furniture and brass fixtures and cabinet hardware would also be a huge improvement. Appreciate your input.

Just FYI:

http://ths.gardenweb.com/discussions/4454249/apron-sink-retrofit

I think a Kohler Vault "short apron" stainless farmhouse sink is the one in this retrofit. Mine is the cast iron Whitehaven. Both come in a short and tall apron styles. The short apron is for a standard sink base cabinet, and the tall is for a farm sink base cabinet. It is best to have a stone type countertop since these are both undermount sinks. The Ikea Domsjo is an overmount farmhouse sink and can be used with laminate countertops. It is fireclay and much cheaper than the Whitehaven, but also less durable.

I do have some glass panels which are original when we built the house. You are so right, that does help to break up the wood look. Thanks for the reminder that I don't have it too bad, really. I absolutely love the open shelving, but hate the thought of dusting more flat surfaces. Thanks for the pics...always helpful and gets my mind thinking of possibilities.

I had not seen the "short apron" farmhouse sink until your pictures...only the tall. Thanks for sharing.