Why does it "have" to be Minwax? That's ridiculous - YOU own the home. Put on your big girl panties and have the following dialog with the builder (handing them your hopefully non-minwax brand): "here - you're using this now. Do you have a problem with that?" Look at other brands out there and always TEST first on a scrap of oak. Oak does not accept stain very well at all so you will need to find the right product. Not minwax. And remember you can mix stains, so if there are 2 that you like try a blend of them instead. The builder who dictates what finish you can or cannot apply to your home needs to have their perspective adjusted immediately. Or simply tell them "hands off" and do it yourself or hire a pro who specializes in finishing.

heres one gel stain to consider

https://generalfinishes.com/retail-products/oil-based-wood-stains-sealers/gf-oil-based-gel-stains#.WO-5tJE8KhA

Looking at your options, I still think the ebony might be your best bet. Or perhaps the classic gray.

I was thinking maybe the gray stain too

Are they willing to mix? Perhaps you could get the color you want by mixing the ebony with the classic gray.

Not sure why but they will not mix I asked .

Looks very nice! What paint color did you use? I need to do the same thing. Did the Jacobean come out greenish at all? DId you use minwax or duraseal? Thanks!