Mrspete, we thought about the bathroom being accessible from the hallway (and also a jack-n-Jill for the boys). The only thought we had with the door to the hall was that it will be our daughter's bathroom, so then she'd have to deal with/clean any mess that her two brothers' guests might make...

They all share a bathroom now and it's a fight every night. Of course, we can make it work and they can all share, but part of building the new house is to not have to share...I'm still trying to balance what will be comfortable versus what seems ridiculous/extravagant!

Thanks for your ideas!

Currently, how often do they have friends over, and how often are they looking for a bathroom? I think some cost-benefit analysis is in order. For resale, people may say "hmm, interesting to have a powder room upstairs, I wonder how often it gets used? I wonder if I can turn it into a laundry room? or a closet?"

I'm not a huge believer in "this is how they learn to share." There are people out there who fought over a bathroom every day of their lives, and they still grew up into jerk adults who can't share. There are plenty of ways to teach a kid to share. This is not going to be the make it or break it issue. Design for your own comfort.

For me, it would come down to the extra effort of cleaning that bathroom, and whatever space you are giving up for that bathroom. That is always space that could be used in another way. Would it be better used differently - idk. That's up to how you live.

Regarding your daughter having to clean up after her brothers' friends - well, who is cleaning up the powder room after guest's come over? If the assumption is the boys will clean up the powder room after their friends, the assumption would be that the boys would clean up her bathroom after their friends.

As for other options - there is a thread on here about people's thoughts on Jack and Jills. I'm not a fan of the locked door problems it creates, but to each their own. Personally, I would have the boys share a large bathroom with a hall entrance, and give the daughter a small private bathroom, and just be down to 3 bathroms. But you would have the best sense of what works best for your family,

I would stick with the powder room downstairs, and their friends can run downstairs to use it, or your kids can decide whether they want someone to go through their bedroom to use the bathroom.

I would do 2 full bathrooms upstairs that open to the hallway. One for girls and the other for boys. Guests use appropriate gender bathroom.

Much more flexibility in having secondary bathrooms that open to a hallway.

Hey guys! Let's play video games and hang out. (But, No, you cannot trespass into my bedroom or my bathroom!)

Funnily, since we always had family rooms on the main floor and in the basement, our kids never had friends over to their bedrooms. (Only our adult daughter and who had better be our future son-in-law.)

******

One for girls and the other for boys.

Signs on the doors and a urinal in one to distinguish them, we presume.And what about trans, questioning, cross, non-binary etc.??

Just because m children fought over something, we didn't get multiples of it. I'm a great believer of children learning to live communally at home. When they don't, college is a HUGE shock to them. These are the children who move out of the dorms as quickly as possible and parents must buy them a luxury condo in which to spend their "Bright College Days". Ridiculous!

I have become addicted to the BBC show "Escape to the Country" and have been very surprised at how few bathrooms most English houses have, even ones costing 500,000 pounds or more. There MAY be an en suite for the MBR, but it will often just be a very small bath with only a small shower. The remaining 3-4-5 bedrooms will be served by a "family bath". Sometimes, that is even on the first floor for ALL the bedrooms upstairs!

When did we become so spoiled? I also don't ever remember inviting a friend over and not wanting them in my bedroom, nor my children doing that. We are talking about a friend, aren't we? Of course, if it was a friend of the opposite sex, that friend was NOT allowed in the bedroom! I know - I'm a dinosaur, but it appears that I have raised one as well - DD has the same rule for her two boys.

I think having a bathroom for each bedroom is extravagant and having an extra powder room is really over the top. I wouldn't want to maintain and clean all those bathrooms. I would just do one or 2 hall baths to be shared by everyone.

Anglophilia and I don't always agree, but I'm with her 100% on this one.

Why does each child need his or her own bathroom? Why can't 2 or even 3 children share one bathroom? What you're doing sounds like overkill.

They all share a bathroom now and it's a fight every night. Of course, we can make it work and they can all share, but part of building the new house is to not have to share...I'm still trying to balance what will be comfortable versus what seems ridiculous/extravagant!

Well maybe they have to learn to deal with one another and figure it out. I'm trying to understand why we feel the need to coddle our children. What happens when they move to their first apartment with a friend or spouse and there's only one bathroom to share? Somehow my ex and I managed with one bathroom for 5 years before moving onto a house with 2 full baths.

I grew up in an upper middle class area with 2 sisters. There were 3 full bathrooms in the house. One was the master. One was downstairs and my 2 sisters and I shared one hall bathroom. Somehow we managed and we survived.

My son and daughter grew up in a house where we had 2 half baths downstairs and all four of us shared one large bathroom upstairs. (It was an 1898 house. We planned to put in a master bath, but never got around to it.) Again, four of us sharing one bath and we all managed to survive and get along. And to add insult to injury so to speak? The one sink was a pedestal sink! But we managed.

Also are you really willing to spend the $20,000 plus per bathroom?

Also are you really willing to spend the $20,000 plus per bathroom?

that's a semester of private college!

We went to a prospective student event at a college where, in a discussion of financing, someone said that if a year of tuition would buy you a nice car, that's not bad. If it would buy you a house, forget it.

How many baths/powder rooms downstairs? 6 or 7 baths in a 4100 square foot house seems like a lot unless you have a live-in bathroom cleaner (other than you or your spouse). I agree with 2 hall baths.

There is zero reason on the planet that each child should feel entitled to their own personal bath. And zero reason that any parent should feel guilt for saying that out loud and enforcing family harmony. A single large bath upstairs, with a powder room for those times of dual emergencies is more than sufficient for actual functionality.

Well...the op wasn't really asking for a critique of her lifestyle or parenting...just wondering about the pros and cons of a powder room up & if anyone would think it odd for resale. Honestly, while some may argue it is character-building for children to all share a hall bath...in certain price points I can assure you that wouldn't fly. At all. It wouldn't in my neighborhood. People expect attached baths for each bedroom. I can honestly see some benefits to a powder room up. Not so much for the kids, but for when the kids fly the coop and your DH wants to turn the playroom into a theater or sonething. It is nicer to entertain adults with a powder room.

Bottomline, you are building a custom home for your lifestyle. If you think it may work, and you can afford it...do it.

I think you have to analyze how long various children will be sharing a bathroom.

I grew up in a house where three kids shared a bathroom for 5 years, two for 1 year and then one child had his own bath (me, the hall bath) for 5 years. It also had an additional powder room the first 5 years and two additional powder rooms after that (so there was at least a bath or powder room on each of three floors).

It may make sense for a couple years to have plenty of bathrooms but then it could rapidly turn into too many. I think things are often added to new builds as if children will never grow older and never leave home. Things change rapidly. It's kind of like some of the decisions made so parents can be in constant visual contact with their children and by the time the house is actually built and lived in the children hardly need and probably resent constant supervision.

I think it's more important to have a relatively accessible full or 3/4 bath on the main floor of the house.

In my area, the trend for new builds is to have a bathroom for each bedroom.

I would do an extra powder room upstairs, since money is not an issue.

This is already an extravagant house, what's one more bathroom?

Pal, I just read your comment. Although I agree that things change, that is usually the time when the house is sold and the parents move on. (In my area, people are here because they want their kids to go through our highly rated school system.)

ETA: Our house is small, fine for raising two daughters and even better for just two of us!

I think it hinges on your family/parenting style. I think if you trust the kids in the bedrooms, a bathroom trip is nbd in the scheme of things.

I do agree with southeasthouse. I think it's an idealized urban legend to assume that childhoods spent in smaller square footage with less bathrooms equals close -knit, well-adjusted kids who become responsible, non-jerky adults.

My husband is an only child, raised by a single-father, who then went immediately into the fire service at 18. He adjusted to the (uber) communal style of the FD no problem, and even managed to adjust to encountering PMS and feminine products, despite having never shared a bathroom until adulthood, nevermind one with a female. As I remind him anytime he argues for giving our oldest daughter the en-suite bath and giving the younger -boy, girl- two the shared bath. He thinks it will be good for our son.

OP, I think a powder for upstairs is too much, based on extra expense and one more bathroom to clean. But again, our family style is that there are no TVs or computers in bedrooms, and no upstairs guests.

Our new custom home is getting 4.5 bathrooms- powder next to garage, full first floor bath off excercise/pool/rec room, the upstairs J&J for girls, en-suite with hall acess for boy, master bath. Thats plenty of toilets to clean IMO! Husband lobbied (to save money he said!) for a gang-style bath for the kids; 2 shower stalls and 2 toilets, with a trough sink... wonder where he got the idea? See FD career above, lol.

But if housekeeping weren't an issue, you don't think it'd be weird having it there?

Weird, no. Overly extravagant and something for which I wouldn't pay, yes. A reason I wouldn't buy this house through re-sale, yes.

The only thought we had with the door to the hall was that it will
be our daughter's bathroom, so then she'd have to deal with/clean any
mess that her two brothers' guests might make...

Okay, so if the kids have a half bath over-and-above a private bath apiece, who deals with the powder room mess? I'm still solidly in the camp on "one bath for the three", and I'd institute a cleaning schedule for the three of them to

They all share a bathroom now and it's a fight every night. Of
course, we can make it work and they can all share, but part of building
the new house is to not have to share

Things become a fight if they're allowed to become a fight. I'm one of five kids, and we had one bathroom to share. I remember a bathroom schedule but not bathroom fights. I do remember fights over the washer and dryer and the car ... and I remember our parents SHUTTING DOWN those fights fast.

Also are you really willing to spend the $20,000 plus per bathroom?

that's a semester of private college!

It's a year and a half of state college in my area. The bathrooms you're planning would literally more than pay for one of my kids' entire college education.

.in certain price points I can assure you that wouldn't fly. At all. It wouldn't in my neighborhood.

I'd opt for a neighborhood with more reasonable expectations.

Well, thank you to everyone who responded! Only a few of you really addressed my questions, so thank you even more so to those few!

But here's where I sign off - I feel attacked from people on (what was supposed to be) a pretty benign forum. My fault for thinking this forum would be any less presumptive and judgemental then something I'd find on Facebook.

Again, thanks to those who offered opinions on my HOUSING question!

Eld, I don't know...yes, a lot of people sell the house when everybody is grown up and out of the house. But in my example, my sisters were 12 and 13 when we moved into our house. My parents weren't going to sell a house that took two years to build after a few years of planning when it was six years old, just because I ended up with a bathroom by myself. I do realize people are more mobile now than they used to be.

I was also thinking of people who talk about installing lower sinks, smaller toilets, customized pull out steps for regular height vanities and various kinds of small-child-oriented kitchen modifications that have a very limited shelf life, (when it most instances a sturdy portable stool will do) unless one has their children over a range of more than a decade. It's built in obsolescence and it has limited appeal to other people if and when you do sell once the kids are starting to leave.

I have seen several houses on the market recently with beautiful, non adjustable, custom built-ins for deep TVs and VCR tapes, cassette tapes and things like that. Probably 50K in today's dollars of completely useless cabinetry.

If it fits your family lifestyle, the neighborhood, and you can afford it, I would do it.

That many baths for that square footage would be the norm in my neighborhood. Is there a half bath downstairs for guests?

Yes, rockybird, a half bath down. Thanks for your input!!

I think all ensuites are fine if it is what you desire. A powder room downstairs is a given in your size and price point I am assuming but a second top floor half bath is not expected nor will it add value at resale and could easily be scratched unless you might use the space as a guest room.

I love homes where each bedroom has a bathroom associated with it. I think the half bathroom upstair is not needed. My home is a three bedroom with three bathrooms. As part of an ongoing remodel, I am adding a half bath for guests. The half bath downstairs is more than adequate in your configuration.

Sometimes discussions get off thread but I think the forum is generally friendly and will provide information that you never thought about when building your home. It is not always easy to hear the feedback and we all come from different perspectives. Hope you post more as you go through your journey.

Good luck!

OP - to answer your basic question, if you already have four bathrooms on that floor, yes, I think adding a powder room is overkill. There are all sorts of ways around this issue that don't require going to that additional expense, but the easiest one is just having the visiting kid use the bathroom of whoever he's visiting. Or the powder room downstairs. Not a big deal for the kids, reduces the time you (or your kids) spend cleaning the bathrooms, and gives you money to put to something more important - furniture, the kids' education fund, whatever. And I doubt that having or not having that powder room will affect resale value much at all.

Yeah, it is too bad when I see posts here that in their responses are no less than berating the original poster giving reasons why THEY think whatever is being discussed is ridiculous and why. It's hard not to ignore, but just keep in mind it's not all the posters, just a couple handful.

Reading Anglophilia's response caught me off guard as just a couple of days ago I asked about Master Bathrooms and she thought anyone who shared a bathroom with their SPOUSE was crazy, and that her and her husband always used separate bathrooms, so she recommended a his and her ensuite... Yet thinks it's crazy for kids to have their own bathroom. I call Bull on sharing makes kids learn certain values. All of the nnew builds in my area that are over 3Kish square feet have attached baths for each bedroom.

My opinion is if you have a half bath downstairs, I can't see any reason for one upstairs. I think you'll find it to end up not being a big deal.

I am unclear from the description but with this number of bathrooms I think it is really important that there be a full bath or at least a bath with shower on the first floor, unless the house has an elevator. (I can't tell from the description whether the master is on the first floor or not). I am not personally invested if you have two full baths for every bedroom, that's your business, but it's important to have at least one with a bath or shower accessible from the main floor of the house.

I'd agree with others that putting a bathroom in each child's room is entirely your own opinion. (Though I will say that based on my own childhood experience they'll just find something else to fight over - it's less about the specific thing and more about wanting to make your child choose you/proving you can win over your sibling/irritating your sibling, etc.. Nothing wrong with it but may not solving the fighting problem). If you want a powder bath upstairs I don't know that there's anything wrong with it, though it's one of those things that you certainly won't get value back from on resale, and you might want to think about whether you'd enjoy more being able to use that space/money for something else. I think it's fine to expect visiting kids to use a downstairs half bath even if they're upstairs, and that is what I'd likely do.

tsimmerson, we have 3 bed with attached bath upstairs including masters. We have media room and I went with half bath(powder room) in the media room. We plan to use media room as extra room also for when we have family visiting us as guest room.

If plans allow and budget is not an issue and it suits your lifestyle, it is not a bad idea. But if you or kids feel you can direct the guests to downstairs powder room then it will save money and get you space for something else also.

Go with what suits your lifestyle, it is custom home and it needs to be custom for you. Good luck with your decision and for your build.

Tsimmerson...Don't leave. We always need new people on this forum or it can get very slow and dull. But, you have to have thick skin and learn what you can safely post about and what you can't. This is a great board and it is worth staying.

the monthly progress thread tends to be the "safest".

My house is a little larger than yours (above ground) and we will have 4 1/2 baths in the house with a locker room bathroom with lake access in the basement. Each of the three bedrooms upstairs has its own bathroom but one of those bathrooms will have a hall door which can be used by the "bunk room". My 15 yr old son isn't thrilled about it since it's his bathroom but that's life. The grandkids won't be here that often.

welcome to the board btw.

Yes, I agree with ILoveRed. Don't leave! Some blunt replies can be expected in a wide open forum such as this. People have different backgrounds and different standards - heck, when I was growing up we were homeless twice and lived with relatives who didn't even HAVE a bathroom. (Unless you count the Little House Out Back.)

My advice - think long term. Don't build to solve a problem that will be gone in 5 years. How old are your children? When they are grown and gone, will you have too many bathrooms? If/when you eventually sell, will the local market support a 4+ bathroom house?

My house is larger than yours there are five baths. Every bedroom has an ensuite bath. We are a three person family and I don't find it to be overkill. In fact, if I had to do it all over again I would have added another half bath downstairs near the laundry room.

Every person to their own needs; an overkill for some and fine to others. Our home currently under construction has five bedrooms with ensuite baths plus three half baths for powder room, media room and center garage where I may be working on my cars; feel I covered it all.

Yeah, it seems GW has an unwritten rule that you can critize those building large and/or expensive homes, or at least one that is larger than whatever you live in!

One person's "excess" is another person's "barely adequate"!

Don't leave, just do some reading and you will quickly learn who the posters are that tend to be a bit judgemental ... you can then just ignore those posts.

Reminds me of the old McMansion threads. One woman was always negative to those building large houses for 2-3 people. She always mentioned how she had 6 kids in a 2500 sq.ft. house and no one needed more room. She talked about large houses using up natural resources etc. What she never seemed to grasp was that her family (8 people) in a smaller house would end up using way more resources than the family of 3 in a large house. All her kids will need a lifetime of oxygen, water, houses, cars, stuff, they will also produce a larger next generation, etc.

If you can afford it and it fits your family, do it and don't look back!

I would not put a half bath upstairs, not with 4 bathrooms available. As mentioned, make 1 bath open to the hall with access to the bedroom also. Be sure to give that one to the "tidiest kid".

Personally I would have that many bathrooms but it is your house. Build what you want.

I will be having 2 bedrooms upstairs for the kids. Each will have its own bath. Then there is a playroom for kids and adults. I am having a half bath put in up there. I see the utility of it. I have one boy and one girl and also see the benefit of ensuite baths. I say go for it

I'd feel less weird about a kid's guest using said kid's bathroom than if you had something like a theatre room and the adults would have to use a kid's en suite. I wonder how much that nook / loft will truly get used? and by whom... I DO think that an upstairs should have one bathroom accessible from the hallway. So if another powder is the only way to make that happen - then go for it - just to add in flexibility in the future. (i.e. what if the nook / loft gets pulled into sleepover / overnight guest duty?)

Jannicone- exactly why we went w the half bath upstairs. I didn't want adult guests using the kids bath

It's interesting to hear the various opinions about who uses who's bathroom and sharing bathrooms, living where I live. I live in an urban area where it is quite common for the many small houses to have one 3/4 bath, usually reached through one of the bedrooms. Or a single full bath with a powder room somewhere.

However, in houses of a certain age and size, the powder room is off the master bedroom (that's where it was originally in my house) and in other houses of a different certain age that powder room is often a toilet and a sink, or just a toilet next to the laundry that shares the laundry tub as a sink. (I have been in a number of houses, including one this past weekend in arguably the best downtown zipcode, that have a toilet in the basement, unenclosed. (I've heard the purpose of this one besides the occasional convenience of the family is for someone working in the house that you don't want using the "real" bathroom (?)). And none of these are cheap houses. The tiny houses with a 3/4 through one of the bedrooms are $400,000 +.

It's unheard of to have an ensuite bathroom in more than one bedroom unless the house has a separate maid's room, or the house is over 5000 square feet and new construction. Even then it's one ensuite and the rest are public access. These houses will be $1M +

I am going to end up with 2 and 3/4 in a relatively small house (2-3 bedroom). It made sense to make the half bath in the main bedroom a 3/4, and I obviously needed a hall bath. And in order to renovate the upstairs baths which needed to be done at the same time, I needed to put a full bath in the basement first.

I can see why you would want a separate bath for guest adults and guest kiddos. It seems very convenient to have a bathroom right by the loft rather than expect someone to go through someone's bedroom. Personally, I would feel weird as an adult guest going into one of the kid's bedrooms to get to the bathroom. What if one of those kiddo guests goes through your master bedroom by mistake? In the grand scheme of a 4,100 square foot house, it seems a 1/2 bath would probably not add too much to the cost, unless you put in solid gold fixtures or something :-)

Ditto what mrsp said. I grew up with one bath 'no bbath' and 3 beds.

If you put a half bath upstairs just be aware of it's placement relative to the loft itself and the other bedrooms. I would put it outside the loft area for privacy, but you don't want it to be too hard to find or you will have guests wandering the upstairs. I think if it is in the room itself, people may not be all that comfortable using it and will use the downstairs one anyway.

If you can afford it, I would do it.

I know I shouldn't say this, but we're down the rabbit hole already, so I will ... I disagree with building something over-sized just because you're able to afford it. Multiple reasons:

- Will you be able to afford it tomorrow? I know any number of families who built "dream homes" at the top of their budgets and then experienced a downturn in their personal finances. If you're not 50 yet, you're going to find out that age-ism is a very real thing. My husband's in a tech-y field, and it's very, very common for people in these positions to be laid off in their 50s ... in fact, my husband was laid off recently ... and if you're still paying for that expensive dream home (and paying for kids' college at the same time), things can be difficult. To give one example, I have a good friend whose husband was the CEO of a prosperous business, and she didn't work ... about 15 years ago they built a house that's pretty expensive for our low COLA, and then he was laid off. He's been unable to find employment making anywhere near what he used to earn, so now they're both working fast food jobs, but they're still hanging onto their house.

- Those over-sized items keep on costing. We're talking about bathrooms right now, which are high-maintenance rooms, and they continue to "cost" even after the building's done. They "cost" in terms of higher taxes and in terms of weekly elbow-grease to keep them clean. However, the discussion could be generalized to any over-sized portion of a house: Heating and cooling, taxes, maintenance and upkeep are far from free.

- Higher priced houses are harder to sell. You've mentioned resale, so you're not looking to stay in this house forever. Keep in mind that when you build an over-sized house, you're limiting yourself to a smaller group of people who'll be able to afford this house, meaning that it'll be more difficult to liquidate this house when you decide it's time. I have a friend who built an expensive dream house just prior to the downturn of the economy; now she owes more on it than it's worth, and she can't get out of it. She and her husband have actually considered walking away from it, but they've put pretty much everything they have into this house.

- Still on the subject of resale, remember the old adage: You want to own the smallest house in the most expensive neighborhood. This means that your neighbors higher-priced houses are pulling your value "up". I'm thinking of my good friend who "moved up" in terms of housing every 2-3 years and now lives in the biggest house in a great neighborhood -- corner lot, dual masters, gourmet kitchen, formal rooms, media room -- and she's been trying to sell it for ... oh, that sign may've been in her yard for more than a decade. She gets offers all the time, but she'd lose money by selling. Her three kids are out of college, living on their own, and she's a widow paying for a big house for just herself.

- Can you afford it and do all the other things you want to do? We've all read dire reports about the average American's lack of preparedness for retirement. We're all aware that few families are able to pay outright for their kids' college educations and that far too many young people are drowning in debt before they begin their first jobs. What goals do you have other than this house? Travel in retirement, perhaps? Early retirement? The more you sink into the house, the less you have for those other goals. Perhaps you genuinely are able to pay for a 4100 sf house plus all those other things, but most people aren't ... and when we as a society say "this is okay", we push others to do the same thing -- yeah, peer pressure's real, even for us adults.

So many reasons to stay modest in your size and design.

For the record, I'm practicing what I'm preaching. My husband and I are building essentially without a budget; however, we're building an 1800-sf-ish house with 3 bedrooms/2 baths with modest finishes. I'm actually finding that being allowed to have whatever I want is making me ask, "Is such-and-such worth it?" more frequently.

Feel free to rail against my thoughts -- it won't hurt me -- and admittedly, I'm more financially conservative than the average American,
but I really think it's a healthy way to approach financial decisions.
I say build what's "right sized" for you -- and it's hard to believe any family needs a house with toilets that outnumber their butts -- with a healthy dose of consideration for your overall finances, not just the question of "what do I want?"

Reminds me of the old McMansion threads. One woman was always negative
to those building large houses for 2-3 people. She always mentioned how
she had 6 kids in a 2500 sq.ft. house and no one needed more room. She
talked about large houses using up natural resources etc. What she
never seemed to grasp was that her family (8 people) in a smaller house
would end up using way more resources than the family of 3 in a large
house. All her kids will need a lifetime of oxygen, water, houses,
cars, stuff, they will also produce a larger next generation, etc.

Fallacy of false comparison. Resources required to raise children are not in any way equivalent to resources required to build a large house. Eight children will (hopefully) end up giving back to society; they'll become teachers, firefighters, accountants, whatever, and they will participate in society. They will shop at our businesses and participate in our economy. They will pay your and my Social Security. A house, on the other hand, draws upon society's resources (materials to build, electricity and water to maintain), yet it benefits only one small group of people. False comparison.

Time change, expectations change. Parents often want to give their kids more than they had...

My kids certainly grew up with more than I had ... but we were definitely poor kids; if I gave them less than I had, CPS would be knocking on our door. However, we have purposefully given our children less than we could have given them, thinking that letting kids want a little something is a positive thing. It pushes them to be resourceful. They've grown up grateful for what they have, and they still don't realize how much money we actually have.

This makes me think about a family at my high school -- big family, both parents are doctors PLUS they come from an old money family. They are all into white Mustangs. Ford cars, not horses. Every kid in the family receives a white Mustang on his or her 16th birthday ... it's traded in for a new model when the kid graduates from high school ... and again if the kids graduate college. These kids are all notoriously lazy in school and have not done well after high school. Too much, too soon -- but they are a pretty extreme example.

I know I keep chiming in...no one knows what the actual financial picture is for the OP, but I have to agree that what someone can afford to build is not really the same thing as what someone can afford to maintain. American history has numerous examples of famous cases where very wealthy people were essentially bankrupt by their own houses, or where their houses remained residences for only a single generation or two decades before either being turned into something commercial after being sold at a great loss or donated, or abandoned and torn down.

I know 4100 square feet isn't even that big by today's standards (a colleague had her 4000 square foot house called "so. . . cute!" as if it was a little cottage, by one of her friends :-/ ) but the question is, when you don't want it anymore, or decide that you don't want to afford it any more, or forbid Can't afford it anymore . . . is someone else going to want it either?

My local suburban housing market says "no". Or at least not at a price where, if you look at what you've really paid for it over the years, one at which you are going to come out ahead financially. The average built, largish, 15-20 year old houses that are not particularly remarkable in their area (which describes most houses) are the ones that sit longer than others. Not as long in the best school district, but even then, if there is something newer being built, that's what will sell.

And veering way off the main topic: new houses cannot withstand lack of maintenance or prolonged lack of occupancy. I lived in a neighborhood which was fashionable from 1830 until close to 1900. The house I lived in had a large fashionable addition in the 1890s increasing its size dramatically. There was an economic panic in the 1890s, and then for various reasons the neighborhood was no longer fashionable. By 1910 my house and the houses around it were boarding houses, they were too big for the sort of single family who was moving into the neighborhood. By 1940 the neighborhood was a slum. Some of the houses were abandoned for decades. A masonry house with no insulation can essentially be open to the weather as long as the roof holds. Old houses could withstand complete neglected for decades. A new house starts to deteriorate when it's closed up for a year. A new house deteriorates even when it's occupied, without proper maintenance.

So who knows, the OPs house could be a complete cash build, and there might be a guaranteed income for their lifetimes. But I know a number of people who have gotten into some trouble always doing exactly what they could afford. The assumption being that they were going to be operating on peak income forever.

Perhaps you genuinely are able to pay for a 4100 sf house plus all those other things, but most people aren't ... and when we as a society say "this is okay", we push others to do the same thing -- yeah, peer pressure's real, even for us adults.

Speaking of peer pressure... I've been on the site sporadically over the years, and recently started commenting and posting my own threads. I have seen, in the short time I've been paying attention, a fair amount of peer pressure to conform to what some posters think is the "right" size, price, design, material level, etc. That can be more or less extravagant, pending ones' definition of extravagance. Maybe we can employ another catch phrase; "guilt trip", anyone?

Fallacy of false comparison. Resources required to raise children are not in any way equivalent to resources required to build a large house. Eight children will (hopefully) end up giving back to society; they'll become teachers, firefighters, accountants, whatever, and they will participate in society. They will shop at our businesses and participate in our economy. They will pay your and my Social Security. A house, on the other hand, draws upon society's resources (materials to build, electricity and water to maintain), yet it benefits only one small group of people. False comparison.

Actually no. Not false. The poster making the original comment "What she never seemed to grasp was that her family (8 people) in a smaller house would end up using way more resources than the family of 3 in a large house. All her kids will need a lifetime of oxygen, water, houses, cars, stuff, they will also produce a larger next generation, etc." made a salient point that a larger quantity of offspring would require a larger amount of resources, including housing, regardless of their (assumed/hoped for) benefit to society. And really, if you want to make a case for it, and I'm in the mood to do so, building a house is symbiotic, and is not simply a drain on society's resources, but rather as you pointed out, a way to shop in businesses, and participate in the economy. We can debate later, the wisdom of basing a society's economy on housing.

I vote for make one of the en suites also accessible from the hall. I like rooms that can be versatile. By giving this room only access to a powder room, it can never be used as an overflow guest room (I am assuming there is a guest room on the 1st floor). When I have guests they never come alone anymore. My sister comes with her 2 kids, my step son comes with his wife and 2 kids, my BIL visits with his wife and 4 kids, people like to coordinate their visit so that they are here at the same time as other people. Also if a bathroom is broken for whatever reason, it gives you a bathroom that another person can use without going through a bedroom.

I have 2 kids: daughter is 30 with 1 child, and son is 28.

they were never fight over bathroom before.

My 16 months old new built home has:

2 hall bathrooms, 3 in 3 master rooms, 1 in basement = 6 bathrooms. To me, it is never too many bathrooms in a house. They are conveniently for everyone in case needed.

I read this thread with bemusement. It is on a "Building a Home" forum in which people insist on the necessity of an architect designed home so that the home is right for your needs. By definition, people are passing on perfectly fine older homes which have raised (perhaps several) generations of (likely larger) families, and paying 20-50% more for something that is just right for them. And that's great, I have no qualms. But it's a little rich to then criticize someone for his/her specific choices to make it just right for their family.

We went from 1.5 baths pre-expansion to 3 full, 2 half after. Bathrooms are annoying to clean and keep stocked is my only input. And they age worse than even kitchens (from a design standpoint).

Do you have a powder downstairs? I looked but couldn't see if you answered this. In the grand scheme of things, I'd rather have a powder downstairs, then up. Kids can easily walk down a few stairs but older guests might not want to walk up.

On just the powder up, unless there is a private space away from the loft to put it, I wouldn't do it. Thinking from a guest's perspective (especially a young guest), they might not want to use a bathroom attached to the loft where everyone is hanging out because of the lack of privacy.

In general I like powder rooms for guests. Easier to keep clean and presentable and separate from your private space.