How will you be stripping your trim prior to staining -- sanding or chemical stripper?

Why????

Stain isn't paint, it needs bare wood. Your trim will have a clear finish over the stain which seals the wood and prevents additional stain from staining the wood. Even with no clear coat, the wood has soaked up the original stain leaving no place for more stain to go.

It is bare wood, I want to get away from a strong red color and get more or a neutral brown with a hint of gray.

You might consider bleaching the wood. That will give you a neutral base color to begin with.

http://www.popularwoodworking.com/projects/bleaching-wood

http://www.woodmagazine.com/materials-guide/finishes/get-the-color-out-with-wood-bleach

It is almost impossible to get the red out of cherry. Bare or not. You won't get any gray tone in it, that's for sure. I guess it's name suits the tone :: ) I'd be worried on seeing pink with a bleach try. Equally difficult to erase. My teeth hurt when I think of those washed maple pinky toned kitchen cabinets of yore. Get some scrap cherry and test before you attempt.

Did that today on some scrap and Pink is right! Yuk! Think a clear with a drop of black may work. Will know in the morning when I go back to the paint store.

Jan is right, you just cannot rid cherry of its red tones. Adding black will only get you dark red. If you really want gray, you probably need to paint the cabinets.