Software
Houzz Logo Print
seagrass_gw

What is "Black tie"?

9 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago

My husband and I contribute significantly to his alma mater and recently received an invitation to attend a president's council event ending with dinner and dancing. The invitation says "black tie". What does he wear? What do I wear?

Help!!

Comments (22)

  • 9 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    "Black tie" means formal attire: Black Tie is a dress code that for men consists of the traditional tuxedo and accompaniments: a black dinner jacket and matching trousers, an optional black formal waistcoat or black cummerbund, a white formal shirt, a black bow tie or alternatively a black long tie, black dress socks and black formal shoes. In hot weather a white dinner jacket may be substituted and the cummerbund is the preferred waist covering. ETA: navy or midnight blue is also an acceptable color choice.

    For women, the options are a lot broader but usually refer to a full length ball or formal gown. Think about the Oscar red carpet dress preview and you should hit it on the nail :-))

    seagrass_gw Cape Cod thanked gardengal48 (PNW Z8/9)
  • 9 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    This makes me laugh. We are retired and with the exception of funerals we dress very casually. I would rather donate the money it would cost us to dress for this event to the College.

  • 9 years ago

    Formal attire, both for men and women, can be rented. You do not need to rush out and buy whole new outfits.

    seagrass_gw Cape Cod thanked gardengal48 (PNW Z8/9)
  • 9 years ago

    Is it Black Tie or Black Tie Optional? Black Tie optional is a black or navy suit, white shirt and tie.

    I have been to a couple Black Tie Optional events where most men had on dark suits, and I think it was less that they expected you to show up in a tux, and more that they did not want people showing up in untucked shirts, khakis and flip flops.

    seagrass_gw Cape Cod thanked palimpsest
  • 9 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    We live remotely on outer Cape Cod. My husband would definitely need to rent a tux. Probably could find a place in Hyannis, which is quite a drive. I just recalled a very dressy off-white dupioni silk shell and matching short jacket with lots of ribbon "embroidery" that I wore to a wedding a long time ago. I have a pair of wide leg black crepe pants. Have to check the shoe situation. I will not wear a ball gown or a cocktail dress. I never have, and never will.

  • 9 years ago

    Pal - it's Black tie. We are younger than most people at these events. I think the older folks are more in tune with dressing up.

  • 9 years ago

    Realistically, the person responsible for sending may not know what it meant. They were told formal or dressy and they just thought "black tie" sounded better on the invite without cognizance of a substantive difference.

    seagrass_gw Cape Cod thanked localeater
  • 9 years ago

    It's interesting because the number of people under 35 I know who have their own tuxes is higher than those older.

    seagrass_gw Cape Cod thanked palimpsest
  • 9 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Agree with pal. DS got a tux in his 20s and put it to pretty good use at his college.

    If you decide to rent a tux, make sure you don't get the cheapest version, i.e. polyester adjustable pants and those rubber patent shoes. You can also rent tuxes online. Alternatively, perhaps there are more black tie events in your future, and it might pay off to buy a tax. Again, you can get good deals online.

    Could you look at pictures from past president council's dinners/dances? Also, I'd expect that a university has a pretty good idea what black tie means. Otherwise, it would be "black tie optional."

    Your wide leg pants and silk shell sound fine, but you could also just wear a black or fancy dress with some jewelry.

  • 9 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    "It's interesting because the number of people under 35 I know who have their own tuxes is higher than those older."

    Pal, Tthat is because we "older folks" bought our sons tuxedos when they reached the age where it would be expected. My son has had his since he was 18. Happily, he is not one to gain weight.

  • 9 years ago

    My son found that once he owned a tux he got invited to more black tie events. The coolest place he ever wore his tuxedo was to pick DH and me up at the airport, but that was because he was going to dinner at an ambassador's party right after picking us up.

  • 9 years ago

    I had the same thought as nosoccermom - try googling pics of previous events and see how people are dressed.

  • 9 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Quoting seagrass:

    This makes me laugh. We are retired and with the exception of funerals we dress very casually. I would rather donate the money it would cost us to dress for this event

    seagrass I really appreciate your attitude and am inspired by your true understanding of giving.

    why do y'all supposed these events are so formal and pricey? Plus, after a while it seems like a circuit. Same familiar faces at hospital ball, univ ball, cancer society ball, yada yada. It's high society networking which has limited bearing on people being helped, no?

    it reminds me of a time we were asked to buy a "gold" table at some benefit. My acquaintance tried to persuade me by suggesting that she would buy a gold table at an event by my charity of choice if I bought a gold table for this event. I declined, thinking this was a zero-sum exercise.

    it seems bossy is not social, ha

    seagrass_gw Cape Cod thanked bossyvossy
  • 9 years ago

    You can buy a really nice tux for between $700 and $1000, so if you have places to wear them it makes financial sense. (If you stay the same size, of course)

    I think my point of view is a bit skewed because people in that age group are my local niece's friends, and they all seem to be pretty high rollers. They make as much as I do in their jobs (and I have a decent income for being in the work force for 25 years) and they jet around to different engagement and bachelor and birthday parties all over the place. I don't think they are typical.

    seagrass_gw Cape Cod thanked palimpsest
  • 9 years ago

    I've gone to a whole bunch of black tie affairs. Usually fund raisers of one sort or another. I've always worn a long gown and my plus one wore a tux. I'm not a fancy person, but I do like the elegance of a black tie affair.

    my advice would be to consider going if it's not too much of a headache to get the right clothing. I think it's fun to every once in a while get out of your comfort zone.

    jo

    seagrass_gw Cape Cod thanked jojoco
  • 9 years ago

    seagrass, your DH should rent vs. buy a tux and your outfit sounds perfect ("very dressy off-white dupioni silk shell and matching short jacket with lots of ribbon "embroidery" that I wore to a wedding a long time ago. I have a pair of wide leg black crepe pants.)

    Go and enjoy!

    seagrass_gw Cape Cod thanked Bonnie
  • 9 years ago

    To buy a tux, given the place we live, would be ludicrous. It would probably make an appearance at Halloween. That's about it.

  • 9 years ago

    Seagrass, I have known men to wear a black suit and bow tie. In your case, I agree it would be silly to invest in a tux. If it's easy to rent one then by all means to so.

    Your outfit sounds perfect. Again, no need to buy something special.

    Whenever this type of thread pops up, we all agree that nowadays, attire will run the gamut. Older people might have gowns in their closets from attending different galas or even going on cruises. So, really just wearing what they already own.

    seagrass_gw Cape Cod thanked eld6161
  • 9 years ago

    I would suggest your husband wear a dark suit and your outfit sounds fine to me. We have been to some black tie functions and while for sure majority of men are in tux and women in floor length gown or long dress, not every one is. I am not one to go against the grain, but in this instance I would be comfortable going as I suggested.

    seagrass_gw Cape Cod thanked User
  • 9 years ago

    If you are generous donors, no one is going to give a second thought to how you are dressed!

    seagrass_gw Cape Cod thanked Olychick
  • 9 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    ??? Society newspapers, bulletins, etc are nothing but a "who wore what" account at the X event.

    seagrass_gw Cape Cod thanked bossyvossy