Sorry you're feeling stressed about it. It can definitely be hard. How many people are you expecting? I would set the table with your china and decor. My family is from the UK and even for formal affairs it is the norm to have the dishes (carved meat and sides) on the table to pass around. Generally everyone would wait until each person has some of everything before beginning (I suppose if you said grace you would do it then). The option would be to set a buffet beside the table which could also be lovely and elegant.

we do family style for Thanksgiving and buffet style for New year's. when I host I can get anxious about getting everything done, but I promise myself that once the food is served, I'm done. I sit back, have a cocktail, and enjoy the people. the dishes will keep till tomorrow, if someone is not enjoying themselves that's on them - I've done all I can.

Perhaps you're less stressed, but more....hesitant? Hubs and I have been doing family meals for years and years and years...I'm exhausted and would absolutely LOVE to be guest....We do share the work and love to eat so it works out okay...but still.. (interested in your first sentence about the ladies picking the holiday....)

My daughter and her boyfriend are both vegan, so we keep the meat in kitchen and everything else goes on the table. I see no reason for her to have to stare at a carcass (she has never commented but it's just an easy consideration imho).

Anyway. Since I don't see the poll, (maybe you forgot to do that bit?...Or it's not visible to me) I would have to answer that no...not nervous.

@Pennydesign It's the ladies call because honestly usually that's who ends up doing most of the work I mean our dear spouses do what they can, but since it involves the lady of the house most she gets to pick her holiday. I did forget poll will add.

I don't know if you are all within short travel distance, but I hope even though someone hosts, that you consider everyone bringing a side dish--u less you love to do everything. I get nervous about hosting because I am usually cooking everything and I have only one oven so I may put two things in that call for different temps and so I have to guess and hope it all turns out on time. Sometimes I prepare things ahead and they have to be refrigerated and that changes the cooking time because it is colder than fresh mixed.... I only started hosting Thanksgiving a few years ago when I was 55 and have only now become fairly comfortable. Aside from holidays I have a difficult time make decisions on what to serve so get stressed in the weeks ahead of the event. Good luck!