I think you stop noticing some of it.

My first apartment had a kitchen that I improved quite a bit but it was still never going to be quite what I wanted function wise, and there were some other things with the apartment, so I put it on the market and started over rather than redoing in the same place.

However the market at that time supported this.

What specifically do you not like?

There are some mistakes in my remodel. I'm happy with the overall big picture, so I try to keep that in mind. Some things that bothered me a lot at first don't bother me now. I feel like I had to let go of perfection early in the process.

I did have a design regret, where posters here said it was fine, but I just didn't like it. So I paid the contractor to replace. Are there any small parts of your project you could redo?

I think feeling disappointment or a letdown is very common after a renovation or remodel. My backsplash has some lippage, my high arc kitchen faucet suggests an elephant's member. As Pal mentioned, I stopped noticing and/or caring. Perfection is virtually impossible. You make decisions that seem right at the time that later you regret. Bad or shoddy workmanship is another matter and should be rectified if you're still in that window to get it fixed.

FWIW, It is human nature to experience disappointment and letdown after realizing a significant, often expensive, goal. That is common for many people. A psychologist once described it this way: we all have our own personal 'perfect' picture album in our mind that represents to us our ideals of all sorts of things. When real life doesn't match up to those ideals we have in our perfect picture album, it makes us unhappy.

I think being aware of this can go a long way towards creating less unhappiness.

Can you post pictures or give some more concrete examples?

With respect to the poor workmanship, if it's minor things can you hire someone to fix those few little things or `the ones that you notice the most?

If it's the all over picture would a change in paint colour help or a chan`ge in `accessories help.

Some initial mistakes turned out to be lucky. Say mistake in framing in master bath. We were livid-but then it led us to series of fortunate events:)

Some, weren't mistakes but just something one needs to cope with..if I chose walnut flooring I know it's gonna scratch. if boys are rough on the kitchen cabs-there will be tiny dings. if the house has new foundation it's gonna settle)) you will get tiny cracks in paint etc. if you have light uniform Quarzt-you're going to see the seams. it will bother you-and then will stop bothering you. stuff like that

Some mistakes we made ourselves, they're on us..not hugely significant. Well we'll get to them some day..namely a window with wrong grids which DH specified against everybody's advice, etc. Some will stay.

Some, weren't mistakes..I just wish we'd do something more high quality in terms of materials or more aahh. But the truth is-we weren't able to afford it anyway. Obviously when I read a new book on design I know things can be more aahh. I even tried to do my best with it. It all costs money and time(much more than one thinks) and requires good will of the remodeling team. Even small scale customization was something they didn't expect of modest(to them) residential project. They tried to accomodate us quite patiently until they could:) The whatever Darryl Carter or somebody else famous does-it's not applicable to our house and our circumstances. As much as we were "lucky" to be able to pay two mortgages, a rental, and gut remodel in So Cal and blahblah. 98% of people can't afford this level of craftsmanship described in books on design. Or maybe 99%. I don't know.

Yes I read about design and of course I realize there is a gap between what it is and what it could be. On the other hand, could be a gap between having a house-and not having a house, or food, or nothing except hope to be alive tomorrow. One can always look for gaps, and find them successfully..:)

One mistake is on them and really bugs me and I'm thinking how to go about it. It's a look mistake, not function, and I need to research some more and I suspect it's another several grand to get it right, and "while at that" things will add up.. I don't know when I'll get to that. Will depend whether I'll have energy, or other things to worry about. If never-that'd be too bad. But it's a possiility:)

One thing wasn't a mistake but just was something new that became evident in the middle of the project and could be given special treatment but as a change order, or not. Me and GC thought not. My DH thought yes but let go.

Well within several months he enlisted our handyman and got this same thing for cheaper. Was that important to him.

I think it's normal to be very attentive to every tiny detail when brand new..then you either adjust(which is the likeliest outcome), or redo, or if indeed poor workmanship they redo it. Depends what it is and how much it bugs you..

It depends on the issue. Most small things you stop noticing or turn into happy accidents. Larger issues you can do a quick fix until you get the funds to do a higher quality change, or just live with it.

I am pretty happy with the major remodel that we did a few years ago, but for some reason I put two tiles together in one of the bathrooms that were just not quite right together. It had looked much different in my head. Anyway, it really bugged me at first, but with the scale and cost of the entire remodel, at the time there was no possibility of my ripping the tile out and starting over. Now I don't think about it at all. It's a bathroom, not a tragic situation. A lot involves putting things in perspective.

Lolol, Fori.

i have struggled with forgiving myself for even very minor mistakes. I would get mad at myself every time I saw the mistake. I can forgive others sooooo much more. I never even notice mistakes others make that I would beat myself up for for weeks.

I’m getting better —both more skilled and more forgiving.

But you better believe that I know where the one tiny chipped glass tile is in my hall bath.

I can definitely identify with your feelings as well as many of the responses. I had no clue what we were getting ourselves into when my husband and I decided to build a custom house... It wasn't the original plan, but it's what we decided to do shortly after we were married and sold both of our houses on the same day, thinking surely one of the offers would fall through and we'd still have a house to live in. But neither did, and there was a neighborhood nearby with large lots and custom builders competing for our business. So we drafted a floor plan on some graph paper, bought a lot, found an architect and builder, and started the ball rolling.

The ball rolled WAY faster than I was comfortable with, and the whole process was extremely stressful. I had never even been through a remodel, so was in for quite a shock. I hadn't discovered GW before, but it was in the middle of all the building craziness that I somehow discovered this lifeline of a community which probably saved me from making even more mistakes than we did. I knew what I liked, but getting there was difficult and we had to make trade offs. Some things we didn't give much thought to until it was too late. So we made mistakes. And it sure is a lot harder when you feel the weight of those mistakes, as opposed to moving into a home where you can say, "What were they thinking?!"

Like anything else in life, I think time and the perspective it provides is most helpful. There are definitely things that irked me a lot when we first moved in that don't bother me at all now, or that I only rarely notice. I'm very practical, so while my husband would have had no qualms whatsoever about ripping mistakes out and replacing them (and done so happily in exchange for not hearing me gripe about them), I couldn't bring myself to do it. Not when, as you say, we are grateful to have a roof over our heads. So I've lived with most of our mistakes, and continue to 13 years later. Some of them, like our kitchen cabinets, we'll eventually replace. At least when the kids slam things into them and ding them up, it doesn't bother me because eventually they'll be banged up enough that I won't feel too guilty replacing them ;-D In the mean time, I try to focus on the things that turned out well and make the kind of improvements we can do ourselves. At one point we considered moving closer to a school our kids attended, but after looking at many houses in person and on line, it made me appreciate our home more than I had before.

As for poor workmanship, that would be harder to swallow... Can you have some of the things fixed, or are you worried the contractor will only make them worse? Or are you just tired dealing with him/her? If so, I would give it some time, see which things still bother you, and then see about having a well vetted contractor come and fix those things as funds and energy allow.

Fear of regrets is probably the biggest thing that is holding me back from having our basement finished. I'm clearing it out now in anticipation of having it finished, but feel myself dragging my feet and I know part of that is not quite being ready for all the anxiety that goes along with major changes like that, at least for me. I envy the kind of people who can just get things done quickly and not overthink the heck out of every little detail. I'm not one of them, and if there's some aspect of a project I can just let go, chances are my husband will care about that aspect (and all relevant details). We have a long history of driving professionals a little crazy (builder, painters, landscape architects, roofers, etc) with details and high expectations. The projects I'm happiest with tend to be those we do ourselves where we can take our time.

I hope in time you find peace with your remodel and can focus on more positive thoughts, and those things you got right.

I still sometimes get a bit irked by a window placed off by four inches in my addition but after a year I now focus more on what I love about it rather than what I do not. So I do believe that,although I still wish I had caught the mistake before the walls were framed, now it is not the end of the world.

I missed the mistake initially because my DH was hospitalized for a while at that stage of construction and fixing it after walls, roof and siding would have held the rest of the project up quite a bit and I wanted my family to be back in the house and whole again as soon as possible, so I let it be. In the grand scheme of things I have learned this year that a house is really only shelter and the people being sheltered in the home matter not the perfection of the shelter. I also have yet to find a better house in our budget and location for us so that helps too. Good luck embracing your new house.

I tend to be a big picture person. I don't focus on small details. Generally I am happy with what I have done. And I have made plenty of mistakes. For me it really is all about perspective. My little house is just fine for a 54 year old woman living by herself. And, damn, it looks good with all my Christmas "stuff" ☺️

I’d like to thank everyone (belatedly) for your advice and perspectives. It was comforting reading about your experiences as I went through a bit of a mourning period of what could have been. To know that there are others who have gone through the same thing, have the same standards of perfectionism as I do (those of us cursed with this trait suffer the worst), or have reached a level of ambivalence with the passage of time makes me feel less alone in an environment where Pinterest-worthy homes are everywhere! I guess there’s nothing really to do but live life - because isn’t that what’s most important - and see what happens in time. I can always do smaller scale home improvements as I go along, or if I remodel again, at least I now know full well what I’m getting myself into - and exactly what not to do! (Get a designer and not a contractor, for one...)

Hi, I know this is an old thread, but @papermotif, I'd love to talk with you if you have the chance. I'm a journalist doing a story about renovation regrets, and I'd love to hear about your experience. Please email me at liam.d.pierce at gmail dot com.

biggest one for me was: not changing the windows just to save $$$. plus i thought i could do them later not realising how much work & mess it would involve! d-uh!

I made a huge design mistake that's been eating me alive. We expanded our bathroom into the room next to it but decided to keep the room for a studio purpose. The wall has already been put up and now I'm realizing I only have a linen size closet in my bedroom for our clothes and the bathroom is very tight and we had to leave out some stuff. It's too late to change anything, but it stings extra badly because we realized the toolshed that was filled with crap from the previous owner could've been the studio. We tackled it and saw the possibility far too late to change our minds. I hope I get over it but if I could go back in time 3 months ago I could've changed it.

My big regret is not using dark hardwood floor in the kitchen like the rest of the house. I used an ugly wood-look grey tile which now looks out of place and irks me daily . This has been going on for 4 years. I think I need help

This was such a great question and equally great comments. Sure resonates with me as I sit one week after final payment for overpriced kitchen and master bath renovation.

The lesson is to not watch HGTV or be concerned with UPDATING....gray... what a horrid design trend sooo many ran after.

Arcy_gw…totally agree. I think Houzz can be a dispiriting site as well when faced with all the stunning photos as well as negative comments about dated choices….if not taken in perspective. That is why I loved this post and thread. Would love to see more objective comments based on design principles and not trends. Why is a cream with some yellow tones so bad for instances? In some combinations maybe but why not just on its own as a design choice? That is one reason how there came to be such a tidal wave of gray— no room for a variety of palettes.