It's kind of hard to tell. SF and NY are two of the most expensive areas in the entire country to build or remodel; tell us what you want, then we can start to think about if it's expensive.

How are you getting the bids? Do you have a detailed set of specs? If not, then your pricing will be all over the place - like it sounds now. Which means the bids are almost worthless. The contractors need to be bidding on the same job so you can compare accurately. FYI, contractors will bid high if they don't want the job. Sort of like a PITA fee on a job that is too small.

Who is going to handle the details of this extensive remodeling? I mean someone that will over see the GC because you need someone to manage all the details. That is the person you need to get first to nail down the specs with you and then they will also have contacts in the industry so you don't get nailed to the wall with those PITA fees.

For a whole house Reno including exterior the 180k comes to 150 per sq ft. That is extremely low! In my high cost of living area renos average 500 to $700 per sqft when including kitchens and baths. Even in low COLAs expect to pay $250 per sq ft for average work. It is cheaper and easier for contractors to build new and essentially your scope of work is going to give you a new house. So expect to pay more than what a house your size cost to build in your area.

I get it. It's a lot of money for stuff that's not even that fun. I mean, it's not like you are going to have a dinner party to have everyone oooh and ahhhh over new HVAC ductwork. At least you can show off a shiny new kitchen, but showing off a flat textured ceiling just isn't the same :-D

Maybe it will help to look at it from a different perspective. Whenever I undertake a project like that, I ask myself two questions: One, how do these renovations change the value of my house? And two, is it worth it to me to spend that amount to get what I want? The contractors are telling you what it is worth to them to complete the renovations; now it is up to you to decide whether it's worth it to you. To me, that doesn't sound expensive for that scope of work, but there are a lot of things that we don't know about the scope of the project.

" I know labor is very expensive,"

Having lived for nearly 20 yrs and worked in CA myself. I can tell you CA has the cheapest labor available, forced me to leave town cheap. Refocus on QUALITY.

Good friends bought a 1000 square foot dump 25 years ago in Bernal Heights for $200,000. Since then, all they've done is repair and maintain. It's worth $2,000,000 now. I wouldn't even try to guess what it costs to remodel in SF.

How much did you finally end up paying?