I agree with Lizzie and Michelle- your home is beautiful. Even famous designers question decisions. If you love it- that is what is most important, not the opinion of randoms. I’m so sorry for your loss and kudos for taking on such a huge project.

If you love your home that is all that matters. I think you have great style. Very trendy and refreshing. Everything I am drawn to is always more traditional. So sorry you lost your husband. Life can really suck sometimes. It’s the worst when we lose the ones we love the most. Take care sweet lady. Your house is great!

I am so sorry for you loss...

I definitely like your house much better. Galley kitchens are a pain. I didn't see exactly where your entrance is, but I dislike the way your friend's front door opens right into her living room/dining room. You should be proud of your lovely house.

I’m very sorry for your loss. Your home is very nice and you should be proud of what you’ve done. I was hoping you’d show the enclosed patio, that sounds amazing and would be the tipping point for me to choose your house.

Awww, thanks guys for your nice comments. But I understand if you do not like it and like I said I am open for advice. I really mean that, I would love to improve. Sammy that was my little cousins birthday and the cake was already ate. The cat just took two licks of the white frosting. I know they cannot have chocolate. I love that cat so much. I would save the cat before myself if there is a fire.

Your home is not my style. Maybe a little too modern lines in the furniture. I think for my tastes I like your friends better except the galley kitchen because I have one I’m remodeling but I really dislike it. However I think your house feels much more put together and decorated very nicely. Your house looks like it has way more personality and style. I am in no way good at decorating but I think your house looks like something I would see in a magazine. I could never get things to look put together. The only bad thing I see in your house which is probably not an issue for anyone but me is the very top gap above your cabinets. Other than that even though not my style it is very nice and appealing to look at. You did a wonderful job and I’m sure your husband is looking down feeling very proud of you.

I liked your house better immediately because of the fireplace, because it has a more interesting decor (the other one is unrelentingly white) and of course because of the kitty. I'm so sorry for the loss of your husband. I very much admire how you found the strength to carry on alone and work so hard to make this house beautiful. If you're happy with it that's all that matters. I would probably add a few more window treatments in the bedroom and the dining area, just to soften the look, and rugs in all the rooms, but that's my taste, and it may not be yours.

Thank you all for your condolences. He was a great man. Everywhere he went people liked him. My style is very modern and I understand that not everyone is. I love the farmhouse look in Fixer Upper with Chip and Joann. I think what she does is so beautiful. However, I would never decorate my house with that style. I would have fun decorating someone else's home that style though. One of my sisters style is very traditional and I had fun helping her. My style would be more along the lines of the Love it or List it or the original Flip or Flop. However, Flip or Flop has been a little boring lately. For those that did not like my house was it more about how I put it together or just not your style? What's your favorite style? Ingrid, love the thought of new curtains for the bedroom and dining room and also open to looking for new rugs.

Your home is beautifully decorated— you definitely have a good eye and shouldn’t question your abilities so much. If your friend seemed offended when you asked her if she thought your house was worth the same as hers, it was probably because it sounds like you were being competitive, not because your house didn’t have the same value. Not everyone is comfortable talking about the price of their things, even though you didn’t mean anything by it.

Your house is beautiful. I wouldnt be a bit surprised if your friend is a bit jealous, especially about your kitchen. I would hate that galley kitchen in her house. I would much rather have the large oversized garage than the 4 th bedroom (although 4th bedroom would be nice to have along with the oversized garage). You can stop now and just enjoy it, and be very proud of the job you have done. Its not easy getting things done, after the loss of a husband.

Thank you, for you very nice comments. You have been so kind to me.

Sophie- the dining room with the larger table was actually the forth bedroom. A larger dining room was a must for me and so we cut down the window to make it larger and took the walls out to make it a dining room. Now the living room, smaller kitchen eating space, kitchen and the dining room is all open concept. The rooms were very small and closed off and taken the walls down made it feel larger. Would you have kept the rooms closed off? This actually was grandma's house. It was built in 1954 with one owner before me and she was a great grandmother at the time we purchased.

Chris-Thank you for your nice comments. I did think about the space on the cabinets, but the cabinets have to be a little down for smooth open and closing. I opted out of the trim, because the cabinets are extremely modern and trim is a little more traditional. I almost went with the shaker style cabinets with marble countertops. If I would of done that, I would have added a simple clean trim. I love modern, but I also love the old craftsman style homes too with vintage touches. I choose the modern, because my neighborhood is known for its mid-century modern homes that sale very quickly,. So I decided to keep mine mod.

Pretty brave to post your home online and ask for comments with no background or context... given how brutal and tactless some posters can be picking things apart. I don't think I could/would do that.

Both homes are nice looking. I'm personally not a gloss or slab type of person, but who cares what I like? It's your house!

I also prefer the first one.

• The second house looks generally darker and doesn't have a window in the dining area. This alone would make the choice for me, but I am a natural light junkie.
• I never like layouts like the second house's where the kitchen is basically in the living room.
• I also never like layouts like the second house's where there is zero room definition. It feels like a showroom. When I'm at home, I need to be able to stand up and walk into another room and feel as if I actually changed locations and am in another room.
• The second house also has that random weird space they've tried to define with a redundant eat-in area, but it's still just weird.
• In general, that second house's remodel doesn't have any evidence of architectural planning. There are awkward spaces and some are encroaching on each other.
• The first home has two walls in the living room area that might serve for a TV (and allow for a non-weird furniture arrangement facing the TV) - especially if you eliminate or move the side door. The second home has no good options for a TV wall.

I'm impressed by the staging of the second house, though. The warmer/livelier decor is going a long way to making a not-great space look inviting.

You really shouldn't care what other think of your house ... unless you are about to put it on the market and then you want it to appeal to a wide variety of people. Your friend/neighbor might have thought that you were going to also list your house and wasn't happy about potential competition in the same street/area. When that house sells it should give you a pretty good idea of the value of your house.

Since you did ask for opinions, several times, I'll throw in mine. What I don't like about your house is that it is missing a personal or unique aspect. It looks like it could have been staged by a realtor who went to Z Gallery and purchased all their accessories. Luckily that is something that you can easily change. Be more selective in your accessories and art, so that you aren't just buying trendy mass produced items.

I like the first home, I love the kitchen. It also has more character to me.

I don’t really like when a poster asks to choose which is better, only to then provide the real story later. The switch makes me feel uncomfortable. It also makes me uncomfortable that the impetus for the OP gives a feeling of wanting some tit-for-tat with the neighbor. I wish the OP had just said “here are pics of my home, do you have any ideas for improvement?”

“My friend is selling her home (1st house above) and I asked if she thinks my house would go for about the same. My house is 200sqft larger...When I asked my friend this, she was so offended.”

I think I’d be offended too, or at least annoyed. Your neighbor is not a realtor, so can’t answer this question. She also might be worried about selling her home, and you’re saying “my house is bigger”. If you have no plans to sell, why are you even asking her this question? What answer are you looking for from her?

Does she know you are posting pics of her home and asking the internet to compare them?

The first home shows much more character and uniqueness to it. It's softer and easier to the eyes. It draws you in and it feels comfy. By looking at it, you can see the simplicity as well as attention to details.

I know I put it out there and I know I asked several times. I really was unsure about my design, so no, I am not sure I love it. Probably due to sadness I have isolated myself and without others around and without my husband to give his opinion and the comment from my friend, I wanted to see it through other eyes and did not want to tell my story first. I wanted unbiased opinions. My insecurities are my own problem and I need to work on them. Am I upset at the negative reviews, no I asked for honest reviews. Do I regret posting this without telling the story, yes, I do. It is hurtful. Everything I did was all planed out and not meant to look like Z-gallerie, which I dislike or a realtors flip. I agree the rooms are way closer then I would like, but it is a small house and we got a great deal on it. The weird eating space, that is the original dining space that was built in 1954. Again though even if I am defending myself, I want you to know I value all of your comments, good or bad and I am upset with no one. Except a little with myself.

Is your friend aware that her home is posted in this forum with the request that it be compared to yours? If not, you might consider deleting her photos.

From the brightness of the pictures, I'd say that the first one was professionally photographed -- and it looks very clean & light, but I prefer the layout of the second home (though not necessarily the decor).

Michelle, I skipped all the comments to just provide unbiased feedback. I'm sorry for your loss, but you have a lovely home. It's not professionally "minimized & lit" like the first home, and most buyers would find it too "personalized" -- but remove some of that and your home offers the open-concept that many/most people are looking for, with that fireplace adding a nice coziness. Hang in there.

First house looks like a flip house...someone came in and updated an older house and furnished it but it still looks staged. I do like the kitchen though. Maybe it's the contrast of the white and the wood countertops.

Second house seems a little more homey to me although most of the furnishing are not my style.

I tried to delete my friends photos, but when I go to edit it says page cannot be found. Does anyone know how to delete them?

I believe you have to ask Houzz to delete them (support@Houzz.com). Ridiculous, but that's the way it is.

I like your home. it has more color. The other one has too many neutrals. I am a person that likes color. So what if she posted pictures. Don't regret telling us the story later, so what. I think she got offended because she is one of those that are ok as long as you don't compete with them other wise the story is different. That's why she got offended; competition. She wants to have the upper hand.

You have gone through so much and have been able to surpass it. What others think you can throw that in the trash. Life is so much more important. I like your taste because you like color and texture. You take risks. I love the fireplace. i am a sucker for fireplaces so it got me there.

You do you and keep it moving because you of all people know that life is too short.

Great looking house!

I understand what you are saying. I guess I did not think about it like that. Her photos were in the public from Zillow. But you are right and I sent a request to Houzz to delete them. I really do like my friends house, especially the herringbone wood counter tops. It is OK for her to not like my home, I have no problem with that. When I asked about prices I swear I did not mean any ill attempt. I was only asking because I was curious about comps. She lives two blocks from me. Don't some of you ever get curious about comps in the neighborhood? Like I said, it would be OK if she was like, I think my house would go for more because of X, but she did not. She really made me feel like my house was horrible. Because I was already insecure and then her reaction, I wanted to show both houses, to see if my house was horrible compared to hers. I should have been upfront first, but I wanted unbiased opinions and I did not think of the consequences. I am sorry.

Michelle, don't beat yourself up. These threads are often full of blunt opinion and naturally people view things in a wide variety of ways. I think you did the right thing by asking that the photos be deleted, only because your neighbor is also your friend. I wish you the best as you enjoy your pretty home.

Michelle, before I read your story, I liked the second home. My parents have a small ranch with a similarly difficult stairwell to the basement and I've never seen a better "fix" than yours.

I feel as if I could breathe in yours. The first one has a smaller dining room and it generally leaves me a bit claustrophobic-feeling.

I would say with how popular open concept is now, yours would sell faster and for more. (All other things being equal, of course)

I think you would be a great designer. Go to school. And I am not giving you lip service. I don't do that.

P.S. Love the blue additions.

Frankly, those herringbone countertops near the sink are going to be a nightmare. Wood and water don't mix.

In honesty, I think both are over-trendy and HGTV'd. I wouldn't care to live in either one - too much grey. I'm not sure taking out walls and whatnot always does a lot of favors. Sometimes "updates" end up robbing an older home of its character. But without knowing anything about the houses other than that, it's hard to judge how much of this was "update" and how much "remuddling."

If you're considering taking up design as a career, take some classes and see if you really still enjoy it. There's a big difference between designing something that appeals to you and applying good design principles to something that appeals to your client. (Personally, I feel like this is where Joanna Gaines always fell down. She's a one trick pony - she can do HER style, and nothing else)

Your house definitely isn't horrible and clearly would be an obvious comp for your neighbor's if both were on the market. They're both updated in contemporary styles, in the same neighborhood, of similar sizes, and have the same architecture (one story, 8 foot ceilings, simple rectangular rooms with minimal moldings/detailing). There's zero question that any impartial realtor would price them similarly.

Let me reiterate that I sincerely wouldn't worry that your house is horrible. It's so far from horrible that I'm really questioning your interpretation of your neighbor's reaction. It seems vastly more likely that, if she reacted badly, then it was due to the social awkwardness of what she perceived as comparing the value of your homes or perhaps comparing your interior design skills. Perhaps she is sensitive about one or both of these things or simply sensitive to anything that could be seen by someone as having a whiff of competitiveness. Who knows. Whatever the case may have been, I highly doubt her reaction was a condemnation of the house itself.

Aside from the fact that your house is an obvious comp and also obviously not horrible, the other thing that makes me question your interpretation of her reaction is how obviously emotional the updates to your house are for you. They're all tied up in both your grief for your husband and the natural feeling of vulnerability that comes when you let people see the fruits of sincere effort in a cherished hobby. Since the house's design is SO important to you and a major focus for you, it would be natural for you to assume your neighbor was focusing on it too. Whether or not she actually was. I do this too when I bake for people. If they look anything other than extraordinarily blissful while eating, I assume there is something wrong with my cake. It's never the cake.

Also please note that, the way you originally phrased your question to us, it sounded as if these two houses were on the market, and you were trying to decide which one to buy. Phrased that way, the question instantly prompts the people here to do three things:

1) Disregard the style/interior design (because that stuff is relatively easy to change and a lot of it -- like the furniture -- disappears at sale)

2) Assume you'll want to change the decor some to suit your own taste.

3) Point out the architectural problems that might interfere with your decorating, furnishing, laying out, and living in the home as might be most enjoyable for you. And then choose the house that had fewer impediments to those things.

You'll notice that weighing in on the strength of the existing decor choices is somewhat the antithesis of this list, but that actually a few people - including me - noted anyway that your decor was particularly nice. That speaks to your skill as an interior designer. Even when it was beside the point, people noted and mentioned the decor.

Moreover, if you are genuinely curious if your house is worth the same as your neighbor's if you both sold right now, note that you are NOT asking a representative sample of buyers here. You're asking a forum of people who are unusually spatially aware and remodeling-savvy. We have given this stuff A LOT of thought, and we're particularly likely to look at homes in terms of remodeling/redesign options and very unlikely to be glamoured into buying a house based on its pretty furnishings. We look at the bones first and then the cosmetics.

As far as I can tell, the above paragraph doesn't REMOTELY describe most buyers. They fall in love with homes based on the staging or the trendy features all the time. Compared to your neighbor's, your home has the more enticing decor and checks that incredibly popular open layout box. Just based on that, your home would likely be extremely popular with normal buyers -- above and beyond your neighbor's.

I personally would prefer your neighbor's house based on layout, but the two are super comparable. Also I am not going to be in the market for a house till I've paid off my grad school loans, which won't be till I'm roughly 157. So you don't care about me anyway.

Thank you Jillius. That was very well thought out, helpful and well said. Thanks everyone else! I also very much value your advice and opinions.

I like the second one better. not a fan of galley kitchens.

#1

Holly, even though my style is modern, I get excited about all décor. My sister is very traditional and I had a blast trying to help her. I picked nothing modern for her. If I go to school, I want to learn all designs and give the client what they want, not what I want. I agree with you about learning it all. I think the best designers would be able to do that.

The first, without question for me. It's so open and pure - the 2nd make me feel stifled and hard to breathe!

@michelle41 I think you’re house is charming and you should be proud of it and what you’ve created. I think the negative comments come from the fact that everything looks too new and perfectly styled that it looks like a staging company came in and placed every single object, a little too showroom like. Which you would think would be great right? New is good. Staging is good.but sometimes perfection can end up looking one dimensional, flat, and lifeless. Adding some objects that aren’t brand new and shiny and perfect will help to make the new stuff stand out more, a vintage rug or an antique table or some pretty yard sale older art. Some things that are a little worn, that look like you’ve had for years, that came from grandmas attic even if they came from someone else’s grandmas attic.

I contacted house to remove pictures and this is what they said.....

Hi there,
Thank you for reaching out to Houzz Support!
Discussions on Houzz are not removed once other users have engaged with them because it is disruptive to the experience of the community.

I guess the pertains to the photos also. I am sorry for that.

Michelle, posting photos of someone else's house isn't something I'm overly fond of...However it happens here ALL of the time. And very rarely are there any apologies for doing it. In fact the opposite happens :-/ People say that they are public anyway...or that it's a learning experience for purposes of critique...blah blah blah...

Moderation here is...lax at best.

You tried. Don't worry about it.

I am the type of person that believes in hashing it out, because a misunderstanding or hurt feelings can ultimately hurt a relationship. I asked my friend if I offended her because I tried to compare the sale of her home to mine or if it was because I got into her financial business. Se said she was not offended at all and did not care as she always asks how much everything cost when I did work in my house. Which is true and it never ever bothered me. I then said if that is not it why did she seem so upset. She said that she was being very facetious and that I knew my house was better. I told her that I never thought that and I truly thought she hated my house. I also told her that she might get mad, but I was upset and I compared her house to mine in a interior design chat room. I said if it made her feel any better, a lot of people liked hers better. She said, your such a idiot and we laughed.

She was actually happy to hear about people liking her house and she wanted to know what some of you said. She then said it was probably the décor as she had it professionally staged, I said no, people liked her layout and beautiful counters, even her paint better. She kept wanting to know more and I realized she may be needing a little confirmation like I was wanting and her house is beautiful! I am such a jerk, but I am so glad I came clean. To make it up to her, I am going to host a house warming for her in her new home. It will also do me good to get out and meet new people. I am sorry to her and the all of you.

No need to apologize Ms. Michelle, at least in my book, you meant well.

Gosh I've found my twin. :-/

Agree with Hans...don't beat yourself up over something that didn't happen.

I’m so sorry for your loss, Michelle. It’s inspiring that you picked yourself up and poured your energy into creating a beautiful home. Ignore the snark and criticism of random internet strangers. It sounds like you have a true friend.

As others have said, you have nothing to apologize for.

Thank you, Hans, Penny and Jan.

Michelle, you sound like a really nice person and I'm so glad you talked it out with your friend. It seems like you have a great friend and can be open with each other and laugh together. Clearly you both have really lovely homes. Thanks for sharing your spaces with us.

When I compared the two spaces originally (but didn't have time to comment), I liked aspects of each. I think the finishes in the first house might be more my style, but I think the layout of the second house would suit me better. Both are very cute and if they were in my city they would probably both sell in a heartbeat.

I am very late to the game. I think your home is just lovely. Especially the blue/aqua accents. It was obvious to me that the first photo was staged and the second was not. I could live in both spaces and be quite happy.

You have a good friend with your neighbor. Enjoy that friendship and be kind to yourself too. It is very apparent that you are a strong fierce woman. I am sure your late husband would be very proud.

Thank you Prickly and Louise.

Second for me.

I was a bit confused as to why we were comparing two houses without any explanation as to why. Now that I understand the back-story, I have to say that I am amazed at all you have done! I, too, have recently lost my husband and can't imagine pulling off such a successful renovation. Kudos to you, Michelle. I also must say that I am impressed with the grace and integrity you have shown in dealing with what became an awkward situation with your friend. I wish you well as you continue on this journey without your DH and as you seek out new friendships and develop new interests.

Thank you Melinda. I am so sorry for your loss. You just have to take it day by day. It is painful, but I hope you have the help of others.

Yes, one day at a time. Thankfully, I have great support of many dear friends. It helps focusing on house projects (but none as extensive as yours!).