I'd say pick a soft sandy greige (tan) or a cream similar to the cabinets to paint the entire room with, finish everything else and live in it for a while, then decide on whether to do a darker/bolder color (accent wall or more). A slightly darker shade on the ceiling could add some warmth to the room too.

If you do want some color, pick a pale olive or caramel for example, they're easy to combine with other colors.

Your beams are simply gorgeous. Relax. They will pop no matter what (even if you coated everything to the same "all white", the angles will still come out). Your problem is really "grounding" down to your light cabinets, so that you don't have a disconnected ceiling overpowering the base. If it all connects, your cabinets will pop too.
Ringreaction is right - try a tan//caramel/olive green/ possibly even a rich old parchment yellow (way more old earthy than daffodil. Think fading autumn leaves). You're basically creating a dark-medium-light scheme, with the beam colour being dark; the cabinets light; and your mid shade in between - working with the tones found in brown, and takes these down to your creamy cabinets. ( If you cabinet undertones are pink, you may need a more mushroomy mid shade than yellowy).
Creamy white and chocolate are really natural shades, so think forest/autumn shades as your inspiration. Secondly, forget the shapes for a while. It's hard to think 3 dimensionally - go back to 2.

Grab loads of colour swatches/charts from your local hardware store. Pick out a rich brown that matches your beams (dark), and one silk/creamy white for your cabinets (light). Then play with inserting your "mid" shade. Wander around your space, so you see it in different lights (and preferably different times of the day). If it doesn't work between the two swatches, it won't work on the walls either. Use metallics as accents in lights/taps/handles - a little goes a long way.
The ceiling trick is that pure white can "sit" oddly on your walls, as its basically another colour. Once you have your mid shade, a half/quarter shade on the roof makes it lighter, but carries a hint of the base colour - so it sits better and unifies your space.

Good luck!

Thanks guys!! Those are both extremely helpful comments : )) We were thinking something in the earthy pale olive family might tie it all together nicely. I'll post pics when we get more samples. As for the ceiling didn't think of doing it a hair darker for warmth - we figured keeping it ultra white would give us the most brightness since we only have one window and 2 skylights in the whole space. Definitely something to consider. Loving the community on this forum : )