So much causes me anxiety...It's tough to admit what you can't do...Funerals, I HAVE missed important ones and I feel badly for that. But the anxiety is real. Also weddings. I selfishly hope that my own kids never want a formal wedding.

I'm getting to lean toward not wanting to go anywhere or see anyone and I know that's a very bad thing to get into...I find being around people to be draining. I wish with all my heart that it wasn't that way and I do know I'm in a downward spiral with this. :(

So...maybe not phobias in the clinical sense. But trouble nonetheless.

I'm feeling better from the depression that eased up a couple years ago, but my world has shifted and I don't like this new life.

Sorry if that sounds too revealing and unfun....Here's an more fun one. I am phobic about really large things. Especially really large things underwater. Just the thought of shipwrecks and whales makes my heart race.

But everyone has this issue, right?

Right?

RIGHT?

I assume you didn't watch Titanic? lol. Oh yes, weddings is another but not as bad as funerals. I have two sons so I was mother of the groom. I totally forgot the parents walked in after everyone was seated and they stood up for us. Don't see me!!!! :) But I'm a blast at receptions!

Ditto about a new life, especially as we age. So many things change that can really get to you. A new normal this week, a new normal next week. I hate change.

Message me if you ever need to talk.

As a kid, I was a tomboy and proud of it. Unlike most of my sisters and girl friends, bugs, snakes, etc. didn't bother me. As an adult, I'm still like that . . . except that I totally lose it when I see a dead mouse. Live ones don't bother me, though. Go figure! Mouse traps were, for some reason, never used or needed in our suburban home growing up, so I don't recall ever seeing a dead mouse until I moved to New Mexico. But, we unfortunately do need them here now and then! My DH is required to empty them. I can't even look at them. My kids think it's very weird that I worked ER for years and deceased human bodies didn't bother me (I'm sensitive and caring, but it was my job occasionally to deal with them, and I did with no problem, only sadness), but a dead mouse is an entirely different thing! The worst was when my then Doberman came into our family room one morning and vomited a dead mouse (covered in emesis) on the rug right at my feet! I was the only one home and the Oriental rug was too large to just pick up and haul outside until DH got home that evening. I ended up putting a bucket over it, and never went back in our family room again until DH got home and cleaned up the mess!

I also have major phobia about anyone touching my clavicles. I have absolutely no idea why or where that came from! I've never injured a clavicle. Funny story . . . NOW, not then: I was lying on a stretcher in the hospital waiting to be taken in to have surgery on my right hand for a ruptured ligament. My DH was there with me when the anesthesiologist came in to start an IV which would numb my right arm for the surgery, he told me. I am the farthest thing from a baby when it comes to needles, IVs, etc; they don't bother me at all. But, when he told me that he would need to start it at/right under my right clavicle (I don't recall which; it literally makes me nauseated to even think about it now!) I literally shot up and scooted all the way back away from him on my cart! I told him in no uncertain terms that it would be over my dead body that he was doing that! My DH doubled over with laughter at the doctor's shock at my response. And then quickly explained my long-running phobia. We all agreed that they were just going to put me totally under for the surgery instead, but they did have to give the IV in my other arm a healthy dose of tranquilizer to calm me back down first!

Lynn, was the needle for your clavicle extremely long? If it's what I'm thinking, there is no way in hades I'd let them do that to me. When DS2 had shoulder surgery for a torn labrum, DH and I planned to stay with him during prep because he was only 12. As soon as we saw this ten foot long needle going to the clavicle area, we looked at him and said, "son, you're on your own." and hightailed it back to his room. lol

What you need is a cat to help you get used to dead mice. A cat that catches them outdoors, eats their heads and leaves the rest of the body at the front door so you can see how proud they are of their work! :)

I find it hard to go to funerals because...I'm a cryer. I am more likely to cry, or at least have tears rolling down my cheeks, at funerals for people I did not know well. So, when my friends' parents (or child!) pass away, I find it very hard to go, often I just don't.

Oddly, I'm not as likely to cry at a family member's funeral. Perhaps it because I know what the loss is, as opposed to imagining the loss, and imagining is always more intense.

As for other phobias, well, it's birds. They are pretty, I like watching the finches and hummingbirds and such outside my house. But seagulls, redwing blackbirds, birds who have invaded my "personal space"? I freak out.

No problems gong to funerals-or weddings.

Not afraid of spiders or snakes or bats. But I think I've mentioned this before-MOTHS. They will make me cry. I get nauseaus if I see on folded up. I absolutely cannot be around them and God forbid if one were to ever land on me. Butterflies are close, not as bad, but I would really hate if one flew near me and when I see pictures of people visiting those butterfly sanctuary places I break out in a cold sweat.

I don't like mice. Rats, eh-not too bad, but mice scare me. Dead not a problem, alive I feel like I'd be like one of those old cartoons with the woman jumping up on a chair.

Not a phobia per se but I cannot, absolutely cannot stand other peoples bare feet. Babies are fine, but adults feet-shudder. DH sometimes asks me to help him with his ingrown toe nail and it is all I can do to keep from gagging. I don't mind if some touches my feet-but I can't stand the thought of their bare feet touching me. I've had to help with some really gross bodily functions-I can stand that, but toes-uhhhh nope.

Bpath, at my dad's funeral I sat like a stone in my chair but tears were streaming down my face. No boo hooing or anything, just those deep tears. I loved him so much and his death wasn't expected.

My MIL, whom I was close to, also died unexpectedly. I didn't shed a tear at the funeral even though I was incredibly sad. During her funeral it took all I had not to start LOL'ing because her 20 something year old granddaughters were bawling so loud! I almost had a Mary Tyler Moore moment when the clown died. lol

Black birds singing in the dead of night.....sorry, I couldn't resist.

Neetsie, moths and butterflies, really? Now that is a strange phobia!

FEET. Why oh why do women keep posting pictures of their feet on facebook in the summer time? Yes, they have good polish on, but they're still ugly toes. Rarely does anyone have perfect feet. I find them incredibly gross to look at.

As far as your dh, I would have told him to go fly a kite. One time my dh asked if I'd get a splinter out of his foot. Uh, no. I did with my grandson though, but he's just so perfect. KWIM? ;) ;)

I do find these kind of issues interesting. Like, where do they come form? I could understand if they originate from a past issue or trauma, but it's not always that way...

Yep-they have DUST. My sister and one of my daughters also have moth fears.

My ex-H used to get large boils on his back and I'd have to drain them for him. I really have no problems with body fluids but touch me with your feet and I lose it.

Neetsie, how about at the beach or poolside?

Bunny, for some reason that doesn't bother me too much. Just so long as their feet don't touch me! Lol. But seriously-I saw a photo of someone on an airplane and the person behind them had stuck their feet onto the arm rest next to them and I nearly gagged.

Anything dead. Hate weddings and funerals, avoid at all costs. Have a memorial service I should attend this coming weekend and am desperately searching for any excuse possible not to attend. I'm a despicable person!

I cant think right off of an actual "phobia". There are things I don't like of course, and would rather not be around. whatsayyou18 - I hope you are able to attend the memorial service. When my mom was ill and I was complaining how I couldn't deal with this or that, one of her caregivers took me aside and told me "it's not about you". Of course it wasn't. What I needed to do was whatever helped my mom. Look at the memorial service the same way. A memorial service/funeral is not about you. It's about the grieving family and the person who passed away. I think a celebration of life/memorial service is a bit easier. It really does help to "celebrate" or remember that person and the good things in their life. Attending my mom's service and my grandfather's were two of the hardest things I've done in my life. But no way would I have not gone.

I can't think of anything, but just reading everyone else's is giving me "contact" anxiety.

You will hear me scream in terror if I see an insect in the house. Outside I can deal with it. I am terrified if I see one indoors.
My husband implored me to try and control myself when the kids were little because they would do the same thing!! We must have sounded nuts.
As for funerals and wakes I rarely cry even if it’s really hurting. On the other hand I cry easily by sentimental things or things that strike me as very beautiful.

That's interesting, Michele. I agree with you. I generally tear up at funerals and sometimes at weddings (though most weddings today i find to be, pardon me, vulgar in their narcissism). But beauty, particularly music, makes me cry and often I must stifle sobs.

I started crying the other when I listened to “When You’re Smiling”. Oddly it wasn’t when Billie Holliday was singing but afterwards when Lester Young starts playing. The utter beauty of it just got to me. Idk. I’m weird.
I wanted to chime in though about feet. IMHO it’s rare to see feet that are not ugly. Mine are ugly too. I really think painting toenails and wearing sandals is something a lot of people should reconsider. Better not draw attention to them.

::: looking down at toes :::

So I'm guessing some of you wouldn't participate in foot-washing on Maundy Thursday. ;-)

Well, my phobia is snakes (probably not so strange, though). We were re-doing our front flower bed recently and I started pointing and running and saying, "Snake! Snake!" DH had a good laugh at me, especially when I was standing in the garage, peering out, saying, "Don't kill it!"

He said it was a corn snake, and not that big. It was at least 2 feet long, which constitutes a big snake in my book! He ended up putting it in the next door neighbors' yard. :)

Donna

Well, whatever it is that bothers us, is what bothers us, right? It's not going to be logical to the next person...

I find that life is mostly about prioritizing :-/ So if you can do a funeral (or whatever..) then that's okay...if I can't, then that should be okay too, and it's not my place to try to change how you prioritize your "stuff"..I know you're doing the best you can, just like I am.

I just wish more people would ask if someone needs support with their issues...sometimes it might just be a hand holding (maybe literally, maybe figuratively).

I get lost a lot and my husband has a built-in compass. He doesn't understand "how" I could be lost, and I occasionally hear the frustration in his voice. But I don't always care to know the hows of my various weirdnesses. I just need someone to hold my hand for a minute and be tolerant.

There isn’t much that has been mentioned that really freaks me out. Yes, I will sometimes cry at funerals and almost always do at weddings for some reason, but I go and it doesn’t bother me that I am sentimental about it. I am not crazy about funerals either, but I go when it is someone close, or of course family, and we attend a visitation or a memorial more often than a funeral.

Insects, butterflies, moths, snakes, none of those bother me. I practically grew up in the woods. I don’t seek out a snake of course but I don’t go all bat cr*p crazy if I see one.

I do understand (and I hope others do, also??) the difference between simply not wanting to do something, and not being able to do it...

I do understand Penny, because before I experienced the death of my husband, I could not. That changed me enough that I could make myself go, as hard as it was for me.

I think at that point penny (not being able to), it is time to talk to someone and get to the bottom of the phobia.

Manicured toes much better than not! I had my big toenail removed a year ago, and it still isn't 100% grown back. So, no, not wiling to show my toes right now.

True tina. But sometimes, no matter whether it's therapy or medication, we simply don't get over them. Sad but true.

Some physical, mental, emotional issues don't get to be "fixed" :(

ETA Oh my gosh and apologies all...I thought this thread WAS about phobias. Now I see that "phobia" isn't being used in the mental health sense...my bad.

Sorry again....carry on :)

Penny, no apologies necessary. Who knows the root of all our phobias? Some are just quirky, some are deep seated and who knows about the rest!

Penny, I have a bit of that oversize phobia too. I relate it more to large bodies of water, but yes, I understand what you mean.

Speaking of snakes, DH got bit by one the other day. It was a full grown bull snake, and not poisonous. It was under a Rose bush and DH picked it up, let it coil around his arm while I took a picture, and when he released it into the field he somehow let go and one fang got him pretty good. It bled but he was fine. Idiot.

Because of all the flooding rains, OK is seeing an increase in snake bites. Yesterday a friend of mine was inside her house and when she looked at the front door, this is what she saw.

Not sure why I blocked this memory, but today it came back to me. This would have been my first funeral. Key words, "would have been." :)

When I was around 15, my boyfriend was hit by a train and killed when he was driving over the tracks. What was unusual is that when my mom was about 5 she saw her little brother get ran over by a train.

I was devastated and instead of going to the funeral, which was a school day, I stayed home. I didn't even ask my parents to take me but I did go to the viewing. Funeral processions always drove up my street and I sat by the window and watched, while crying. WHY didn't I want to go? How the heck did this start?

Tina, many people have this phobia. A good friend of ours feels the same way so he is the one who volunteers to stay at one of the homes where would be criminals might think of robbing. Nobody questions him, we got it.

The main reason I didn't go to those two funerals was because they were in another state with lots of dangerous roads, and possible snow and ice was in the forecast for the eleven hour drive. However, I didn't hesitate to say I'm not going.

Oh! Feet!. Me too I hate seeing peoples' feet. Baby feet are adorable, but others....EEk! I keep mine meticulous and with polish, but won't go for a pedicure cause I think about all the feet that have been there. If you are needing a good phobia, go to Walmart in the summer. It will scar you for life.

Ladypat_ ihad to chuckle at your post. My grandbabies feet are totally kissable, I just love their pudgy little feeties, but I know that when they grow up-uhhhh, nope. Do not touch me with your feet!

I really have no idea where it comes from. Or the moths either. Moths are a phobia for sure, feet are just something that grosses me out. Thinking of it-I love my cats paws, and play with them all the time, even the dogs paws are cute to me, but ape or monkey feet-SHUDDER. Too much like human feet.

Funny. Even their feet are adorable. Then look what happens!! ; )

I can't believe this. Someone near and dear to us died yesterday morning. The husband of our dear friend died suddenly in an accident. I don't know what to do. I talked to his widow in email just the night before. Widow. She's only 36. DH and her father are BFF's. Their son is BFF's with my grandson, they're only 10.

She's like a daughter to me and in her last email on Monday she said how much she loved my family.

When her dad called DH last night he said everyone's in a bad way, very bad. Fall to the floor bad. The couple lost their firstborn as a toddler, and she still mourns him of course. Now she's lost half of her family. Half.

I asked DH if we should visit them today and we don't know if we should or not. They have a lot of close extended family here, and I personally think today would not be the time to visit since it's still fresh and raw.

What do you all suggest? The Church will send them a lot of food. I'm too numb to even cook.

There are no qualms going to the funeral, I was there when her son died.

Such a sad time for our small town. A month ago our other "neighbors" who live a half mile behind us lost their 4 year old daughter in a freak accident while she was playing. I hardly know them so I donated to the fund for funeral expenses instead of going to the funeral. Schools were closed for that funeral.

This is strange, around 6:30 yesterday evening, as soon as I sat down to eat dinner I said to myself, "it's weird around here." I looked outside, around the room wondering why I felt that way. Two minutes later DS called to tell me what happened.

If we were family I'd be at her house in a nano second. What do close friends do? Like I said, her house will be swarming with family.

Oakley, that is so very sad, and my sympathies to you and your friend. Yes, I would go see her if she were my friend. As soon as possible and offer a shoulder to cry on and cry with if needed. Take your DH too. Then by all means go to the funeral if you can, but that personal time will mean the world to her.

You know your friend best...For me, I get kind of uncomfortable when there are people trying to help me. But what I like to do when a friend is in trouble is send a text (sorry, but it works) simply saying "when do you need me there?". I find that just asking "do you need me there" sounds a bit like it might be inconvenient...(trying to find a better word for that but I can't)....In addition, asking that way makes the other person have to say yes or no...I struggle with feeling like a burden so I would have to say "no" (in her place)...which might sound like a rejection to the lovely person asking...

I know, I know. I'm a mess and I overthink things.

Anyway, texting "when" shows you're ready at any time she chooses. And she can decide, now or later.

I'm so sorry for this devastating news. It makes you think, right? :(

Outside, I'm definitely going to the funeral. I'm closer to them than I was with my mom and brother. Mom kind of picked on me as I got older, did some really bad stuff.

DH talked to her dad today and we'll be going over there tomorrow. Today they had to buy burial plots, I'm not even sure if his body is back from the medical examiner. It was a horrific crash, one of the worst I've heard. Because a death occurred I'm sure the M.E. will have to figure out what and who caused his death since he died at the scene.

With her having a lot of immediate family nearby and being told by her dad they are inconsolable, I thought it best to wait a day. I'm sure her house was full of family still in the immediate shock of his death. I'm just glad her dad is talking to DH.

Since I know she checks her email I sent her one last night with the topic heading saying, "I love you, no message inside."

I just can't believe two deaths occurred in this small town within a month. Deaths like this only happen every ten years or so. Sudden deaths, not from illnesses.

Oakley, I can feel your pain in your post. I am so very, very sorry. What a horrible loss for everyone. I think your friend could use some time, not that she'd be judging you for not being there right away-she's still in shock and numb, but she'll need you when the house starts emptying out. I'd plan to go visit her fairly often in the coming weeks. Once the rawness wears off that is when the grief really sets in-and she'll need your shoulders. Maybe you could just make arrangements with her dad to go in and do laundry or run some errands?

Thanks Neetsie. I feel like I'm falling into a deep depression. I've known this girl since she was in 8th grade, and we became extremely close to her parents. We visited yesterday and she's doing okay...in front of people.

Her mom is staying the nights with her and after the funeral I'll let her know I'd be more than happy to camp out on the sofa.

Today my grandson (10) and his sister (8) are being told about the death, they were out of town when it happened and getting back today. It's going to be hard for them, they all spend a lot of time together. The grands will also be going to the funeral. It will be good for their friend I think.

Such a sad loss, Oakley. Thinking of the family, and you and your grandchildren. So hard to be touched by tragedy at a young age.