Looking for advice
I am looking at the chance that I might be able to buy my very first house soon. I am trying to contain the chicken counting until am more sure that this could really happen. Regardless....I am hoping to be able to be able to do it mid next year.
I have never come close to being able to do this before and I am hoping to being able to celebrate by decorating it and making it feel like MY home. I have started to try to understand my style I guess....and look at how I would make a place mine. Information overload might be an understatement. I know what I like....sort of....and can say what I don't like. Narrowing down to a house....not so sure. And right now I would end up with a house that has 15 personalities.
I guess I am looking for advice to better figure out my style and/or maybe find a designer if I have very little clue what I want.
Comments (26)
- 6 years ago
Start by making a Pinterest board. As you add pictures note what you like about them. Is it how bright the room is? Is it the style of fireplace? Is it the bold paint color? Don't worry so much about the style names right now.
- 6 years agolast modified: 6 years ago
If this is going to be your first house, I'd suggest focusing first on the basics - financing, condition of house, location. Do not expect perfection in a first home: look for a solid, well maintained place that is well within your budget parameters (moving into a new home is expensive - fees, utility hookups, curtains and blinds, new furniture, unexpected repairs, etc, so don't go right to your financial limits on the purchase price itself.)
Once you've actually got the house, clean it and maybe paint it, and then live with it for a while. Browse through home magazines and Houzz photos to get ideas, but go slow on making major changes or investments in furniture. Take your time to get it right.
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For a first house, worry more about budgeting for the pesky realities of homeownership than transforming it quickly via decorating. The reality is that paint is going to be about it for the first year, unless you have another 20% earmarked for home renovation and decorating, after the 20% down payment.
Look for opportunities to teach yourself home improvement skills. Basic electrical, plumbing, painting, and carpentry and sewing, can help your budget out tremendously. So can being a frequent shopper at your local Habitat ReStore. Good luck! Jessica MacAllister
Original Author6 years agoWhile I appreciate all the advice I am not looking for home ownership advice.
I do not know if I am going to be able to be able to do it at all. Looking at the things that make a house and not being able to do it will quite honestly depress me.
Learning about design won't. How do I do that?- 6 years ago
Can you post a photo of a room decorated in a way that you like and one that you dislike?
- 6 years agolast modified: 6 years ago
Looking at the things that make a house and not being able to do it will quite honestly depress me.
Looking at 'what things'? what things make a house, in your opinion? And why would not getting what you want, immediately, depress you? Owning a home is a process. Ones first home is seldom their dream home (unless that person is very wealthy). decorating and renovating are all a part of home ownership that develops over time.
how old are you?
- 6 years ago
Are you currently renting and have an apartment or house furnished with things you have shopped for and purchased? Look at the stuff you have, do you like it?
Jessica MacAllister
Original Author6 years agoI am 36 and I have never not lived alone. Since 19 I have had roommates. Not getting a place that I can finally call my home would rip my heart out.
Nope. Don't like anything I am where I live. Didn't buy it. It's not mine. The bed I sleep in belongs to my roommate. Someone I quite honestly want to be friends with and do not want to live with.- 6 years ago
“ Learning about design won't. How do I do that?”
Check with a community college near you. Many have Introduction to Interior Design courses.
- 6 years ago
This reminds me of an article I contributed to a while back- https://stauntonandhenry.com/blogs/news/13-interiors-experts-reveal-their-best-advice-for-decorating-with-color. Exchange "color" for "interior design" :). Who are you & what do you LOVE. Once you figure this out a designer can help but never in reverse.
- 6 years ago
You need to first buy the home then come back for info as to how to decorate and IMO all the tricks you can get about buying a home they will all be good advice.
- 6 years ago
Jessica, research good home inspectors while you look for that perfect first home.
if the home ( including systems, ac, heat, olumbing, roof, appliances, windows and doors, etc, ) check out, you have more time and money to explore decorating .
my story:
I bought my first home as a single woman, 7 years of renting, with and without roommates.
I bought it as is, pre foreclosure, knowing I had systems and mechanical to repair. But, I had my dad, and my brother, to help. And, their connections outside their areas of expertise.
I had dreams of major renos. Never really materialized in that house. took down 70s paneling, fixed plumbing and sewer lines, new roof, rebuilt back florida room/porch. cleaned, painted, and some stucco work.I loved that little house, with all its problems. I sold it 6 years later with the original (cleaned and restored) cabinets, new countertop and kitchen floor. Original bath, other than a new vanity. Some new drywall and fans, renovated porch. for a huge (then) profit of 25 per cent after fixing the issues .
I never did replace the carpet, just cleaned it before I moved in. Couldn't ever justify changing up the carpet, with so many other important things to replace. Except for one bedroom, which was gold, carpet was pretty neutral, anyway. . I think the new owners appreciated a sound roof over new flooring, as did I.
If you don't have the network I had, don't buy a similar , very needy, home. It would have been way too costly and time consuming without my dad and brother, for me. I helped with a lot, kitchen and bath flooring, cleaning, painting, but much that was needed was beyond me then.
I don't say this to discourage you. just make sure what you buy meets your skillset, and your network capabilities. And your budget.
Buy my first house, after the plumbing, electric, and roof was fixed, in other words. not the way i bought it. :) - 6 years agolast modified: 6 years ago
I bought my first house at 22. It was a cheap almost dump, one questionable neighborhood over from the artsy nicer neighborhood. Making it over into something nice was a never ending expensive project. Just standing still was a never ending expensive project.
First to go was the 30 year old HVAC. Then the 60 year old water lines had to all be replaced. Then the 15 year old 3 layer roof. Then the hidden termite damage uncovered by removing all of those roof layers. That all cost MORE than the 30K that I paid for the house. And all before I managed a single thing in the kitchen or living room other than some discontinued wallpaper and oops paint.
If I had bought at the thin edge of my affordability, I‘d have been bankrupt and homeless. But I bought super cheap, and didn’t have silly fantasies about things being perfect.
I sold it 5 years later, and all of the new stuff, and the modest improvements to it’s homely looks made me a modest 15K profit. 30K-80K is a pretty good return for 5 years of part time work. Flipping before it became a word. And then repeat that a few times. The current house still isn’t perfect and fantasy beautiful. Because that doesn’t exist without a lot more money than your average working American makes. But DIY sweat equity, picking well below your limits, and a good design sense can make over any home, and increase your net value too.
- 6 years agolast modified: 6 years ago
What mackdolan said...
And, for your own sake, lighten up.
"Looking at the things that make a house and not being able to do it will quite honestly depress me."
"Not getting a place that I can finally call my home would rip my heart out."
Geez, that is just over the top. When you're putting that much weight on anything, you're setting yourself up for a hard fall. It's never going to be perfect and you're never going to be happy. You need to deal with that right now, before you buy anything.
There are a lot of people who have the same problem. They post in this forum with words like 'Disaster' or 'HELP' and a jillion exclamation points because entirely too much of their life and self-worth is tied up in the appearance of their home and the color of the grout in their shower.
Don't be one of them.
Jessica MacAllister
Original Author6 years agoI am not expecting Xanadu. I want mine.
I also don't see that buying things I in the end don't want saves me any money.
- 6 years ago
Hopefully if you do share space you have a bedroom of your own. Make it reflect your tastes. If you don't know what that is, start by looking at pictures both here and on Pinterest. Save every one you like. You will find common colors and designs. If you buy things now for your own bedroom you will at least have a start for a new home when that happens. It's easier financially to buy things gradually with an end result in mind. Start by only buying things you really love. A rug, bedding, art. Let that decide the rest of your colors and choices. Even if your situation changes and you can afford new furniture in a move, your current bedroom set can be in a guest room. You have a long time to figure it out. Don't rush into things. Getting a new bed that you can take with you is your first step. A queen is a good choice to make a room feel larger and be comfortable in a guest room later. Look for similar styles in bedroom furniture over getting a matching set
- 6 years ago
OP - perhaps I'm mistaken, but I get the feeling you're overwhelmed by the thought of getting your own home. I've said this before, and I'll repeat it one more time: bear in mind the adage about "how do you eat an elephant? one bite at a time." You want your own place, and you want to turn it into a home that makes you happy. Nothing at all wrong with that. But you will set yourself up for failure if you expect the house to be the home of your dreams the minute you walk in the door. That's now how life works and it's certainly not how making a house a home works. Homes take time, thought, money and more time again. There's a learning curve involved and you need to start moving along that curve.
You might consider delaying a home purchase, and renting your own place as a starting step on your journey. Rentals give you time to acquire some basic furnishings and some home maintenance skills while not having to worry about painting, fixing the roof or repairing the HVAC system. I've lived in dozens of houses and apartments, many of them rentals, in dozens of different places, and each one became a home to me for the time I was there.
If you really want to buy your own home, I repeat, make sure the financing is in place before you commit yourself. You may not want to hear this, but financial stability is the most important aspect of a house becoming a home. It's never going to be a comfortable safe haven if you can't pay the bills, no matter how good the decor might be. And who wants to live in a beautiful, oversized house with no furniture because you can't afford it?
I actually started with a Danish teak coffee table and a couple of end tables that I saw in a store window. Over the nearly 40 years since that purchase, I've gradually acquired more furniture, some of it MCM, some of it contemporary along with one inherited antique china cabinet. I still have those teak tables, though. And they're in my latest living room. My taste, it seems, always leaned contemporary (those tables were contemporary at the time I bought them!) but now I have a layer of eclectic (my less polite friends refer to it as tribal) layered in, based on some years spent the developing world. I buy things I like, from places I've been - oriental rugs, art, copper jugs, pottery - and my house reflects me, my life and my likes. Your house should reflect you.
You may be coming a little late to the game, but you need to start making your own choices about what you want in your house. Start with that bed. Think of it as the first bite of the elephant. Hit every furniture store in town, buy the home magazines, go to open houses, start really paying attention to what appeals (you already know what doesn't) and plan to buy something that will last you for the long term, not some cheapo piece of junk from Wayfair. And go from there. Time, experience and observation will develop your eye and your sense of what feels right to you. Jessica MacAllister
Original Author6 years agoSeriously I would not be saying maybe buy a house if I thought I was going to heave myself off a financial cliff. I am "late to the game" because I never saw a way to financially do it. I am trying to learn because I do not want to waste time, energy or money on something that will make me unhappy.
I also know there must be resources to learn because people do this for a living helping people turn a house into a home. Somehow I doubt the option for the help that don't do that aren't left with the option of "show me a picture of what you like".
While I would love to just go into every store and put together the home I want I am hoping to learn so I make as few missteps as possible.
I understand finance. I went to school for it. I want to understand how to make my first house the home I want.
- 6 years ago
First time home buyer tip: When you first go to the home after you buy it, make a video with your phone where you walk through each room (and the outside) and talk about what you like or dislike about each space. Also talk about any ideas you have.
Why? You get used to your house quickly and forget your initial reactions. Also, when you are deep in the throes of a home improvement project and feeling like you will never finish it is useful to look back and see how far you've come.
- 6 years agolast modified: 6 years ago
I for one am having a hard time understanding what kind of response you're seeking here. I deleted my earlier lengthy comment as you indicated you weren't interested in homeownership advice, and I hope to help keep your thread on your intended trajectory. Are you asking how to go about shopping for home decor? You mention making a home your own, but can you be less esoteric and more specific in how we can help you? I hope it's evident that we're really trying to.
Turning a house into a home has countless meanings. What does that mean to you, in concrete terms?
- 6 years ago
Narrowing down to a house..did you mean more of an architectural style? Or you know, more or less, what it might be, and seek advice on what you do with it after?
What architecture drives you in more? What doesn't at all?
If you were to mention stores you love the most-what these would be? Not necessarily home ones.
Do you read about design on Internet? you mention being overwhelmed with information, so I presujme you do? If yes-which sources you still love best?
When(if) you read shelter magazines-which are ones you pick?
(I used to circle every picture I like, in a magazine, then check the resources and go to links, whether was purely inspirational or not, analyze what I like about it.
Many books have resources listed as well)
Then/at the same time I started reading books. I must say this is something that I find hard to stop with..:) At some point, if really interested ,one digs digger, beyond decorating.
But as a start, may I suggest couple threads here, where folks mention their favorite books/books they considered especially helpful?
https://www.gardenweb.com/discussions/4083972/whats-your-favorite-interior-design-book?n=15
https://www.gardenweb.com/discussions/3511827/where-to-go-for-home-decorating-101?n=36
there are several threads like these. You can do a search if you decide so
If you're somebody who prefers reading, (different people have different preferrable methods of how they get inspired/gather information..for somebody may be very well audio plus accompanying visuals..), you'll learn a lot by extensive reading. You'll start with basic rules-and then you'll be in territory of breaking them, while knowing very well why and when you do that. It's an enriching and liberating experience.
It's okay not a to have a one word only that describes your style. It's okay to take time to find whatever several words that describe it best. And they can be your own words, invented by you, if it helps.
It's okay to love several at once-people are multi-faceted beings after all. One can still pick one and reject the rest, most of it-or one can try and bring some his strongest loves together. Sometimes it can lead to most fabulous spaces. Yes, it takes an eye that trained, innate feeling..but one can train himself, a lot. By reading, visiting..analyzing what does he like. What is it his inner "why". The more he knows his "whys" the easier it becomes to bring them together. They become threads to a canvas of a story which their house is/eventually will be.
Music you listen to a lot, things you like to wear, movies that you consider good movies, places you love to visit (yes I understand it can be everything. but there are usually ones we prefer a bit more)...art that brings strong emotion in you..then it's a matter of becoming lost in translation. And figuring it out. Somebody famous said that style is a simple way to express complicated ideas. That's basically what one does. He understands, in this or that way, the ideas that he's drawn to/ are uniquely is. Then he translates it onto his house. Yes it takes time, but that's pretty enjoyable. well if I'm to compare it to plenty other things
Yes, one most definitely can use a designer too. At a certain point. Somebody he respects/loves/enjoys working with. I was never able to-but I think I'd enjoy working with certain people immensely. Their thought process fascinates you. It can be a great help, and a great experience all in once, I think. One just needs to find a good match..:)
Lastly..as somebody whose house reflects her a lot..it can be frightening too:)
After all..Do I always love looking at myself in the mirror?
So that can be, to some people, work that never ends.
Because we also change, and we bring our changes into our house, and ..should be perfection, it's so, so "us"..but then you think "I'm looking at my twin here". And it can bring you much joy. Or not. Or sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't.
I always look at houses as if tey were living creatures. Same with many inanimate objects. I was always like that-so I decided to use it as a tool. How things speak between themselves, and what do they say to me, and how I work with them without breaking their will.
We don't know you but you know yourself. Your metaphors. Your "whys". What is that you'd rather see, in that mirror. Took me many many years to say to myself "okay, now I'm ready to see all of it". It's okay to want to transcribe certain things only.
I'm sorry for such a long rambling post.
I've no idea whether it's helpful at all
I hope you continue to read, whether here or not, and I wish you a lot of luck.
I need to find and buy a new place myself( that'd be my 6 th, I think, in terms of me choosing a house/apartment/condo/whatever) )-and yes, it's still scary. Big responsibility.
Yet it's still the best part of all this home ownership. Lol. If you ask me..
- 6 years ago
I love what you wrote April, you have such a beautiful way of voicing what you feel.
- 6 years agolast modified: 6 years ago
People CANNOT “make a living turning a house into a home.” They choose stuff. Maybe they even ask you what you like. But only you can turn your house into a home. And it may not have anything to do with stuff. It might cost you a pittance. Heck, some of my favorite things were from thrift stores I bought 40 years ago. I have a whole collection of little tables and lamps right now from a thrift store. All are between $5-$10. Whatever I can’t live with gets re-donated. In the meantime, I might have used them to try out different colors in my new home. In a year or two, when I have my space figured out, I might buy a spendy sofa.
Ya know, I really like my $5 thrift-store floor lamp. It’s sooooo tacky, but the quality of light it puts out and the way the shade casts light really pleases me. It doesn’t fit into any conventional definition of “design” or taste, but I guess it’s gonna have to be a keeper. Dang, why didn’t I buy its twin when it showed up in the same store 2 months later!
Another thing that’s not getting emphasized quite enough in this conversation, I think: a house will tell you what it wants. A log cabin generally doesn’t want a Victorian horse hair sofa with carved volutes piled on the seat back. It might scream NO on that choice. Especially if it’s rose pink. However, said log cabin might be thrilled to have the same sofa in red and black buffalo check with wild quilted pillows.
It takes a while for your house to tell you what it wants. You won’t have a home, IMO, unless you listen.
- 6 years ago
OP - you have managed to write a post and several responses without clarifying what it is you do like - what it is that would make a house a home to you. No one, including a pro designer, will be able to help if you cannot better articulate your own preferences. You need to have some sense of what you like, and be able to communicate it, for anyone to respond in anything other than generalities.
Do you like traditional? English cottage? Contemporary and minimalist? Rustic? Do you want a house thats open space and modern, or older and more closed off? Do you want a house full of technology or does your life revolve around bookcases? What do you own - art, a piece of furniture, an oriental rug, your grandmother's antique teacups, that must come with you? You need a starting point for your journey.
You also have to understand that your destination may change as you proceed, as your tastes and preferences develop and change. I started out on a straight path to contemporary, but wandered off into eclectic, and am happy to be there. I also started out with a few things from IKEA and gradually upgraded over time (still have a few of their bookcases, though). I'd imagine it would be pretty rare for someone to buy their first home, furnish it right away, and never change a thing thereafter: for most of us, creating a home is an evolutionary process, one in which our home changes, grows, improves,along with us.
- 6 years ago
Congratulations Jessica! I think it is great idea to think about all the choices, long before you actually have to make them.
In a similar situation, I googled "kitchens," (and front doors, windows, stairs, bedroom, bathroom, living room, laundry rooom) then kept all the images I liked in seperate files (kitchens, bath, etc.). I labeled individual images naming the images based in what I liked best ("inset cabinets," "light fixture"). That helped me identify specifics. Then periodically I reviewed the images and deleted/archived those that I didn't like as much on second, third, fourth, etc. review.
Then I put together picture boards for each individual room, and also for unifying details (e.g., light fixtures). Did not want identical light fixtures but wanted them to not clash with one another. Made several switches in and out of the choices, and between rooms. The picture boards helped me find things that worked together in each room.
Good luck, have fun!










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