Reading both threads would take a week. After reading this one, I'm done.

You cannot apply macro patterns to individuals. We have all kinds of "-ism" labels for that.

My poor husband; he can't design, research, select, or plant whatever he wants in our yard! I have just as much opinion on what our garden/yard looks like, as he has on what our hall bathroom looks like.

I would make a poor client match for many of you.

@JAN MOYER - I have now seen 4 threads.

Oh boy! I love everyone of you guys and strong opinions is what I think make up this indispensable site, I would like to see ‘us’ or you all help this couple come together on a solution for their bedroom, probably more simple than we think. Scoot the bed, I really didn’t see the whole room here, maybe the cellular or some type of shade, not curtains and maybe paint the wood and walls two tone and maybe paint a headboard or canvas for the wall behind the bed where it can be attached to the wall or moved if needed, anything on canvas with matching colors, maybe the kids could get together on a ‘masterpiece’ and say hey dad, we have a surprise for you! Mom could probably get everything together and then put it all up one day while he’s at work. Money might be a problem too, he might not want to spend and thinks that a new look might cost too much, she might could even make curtains with canvas drop clothes dyed in a color in the washing machine? IDK, just my thoughts...

Interesting to say the least. Guess what he sleeps with his eyes closed. I don’t ask permission. I do. I’m confused as to why you’re asking approval or opinions from someone Whose taste so obviously isn’t in line with yours. Is this really a blame the husband and let him be the fall guy scenario? After 100’s of comments and if I read Correctly two separate threads-posts on the subject I’m here to be the voice of reason and tell you there is no solution until you’re willing to follow advice and put it in motion. Otherwise you and everyone else here is just spinning their wheels. You have pushed back on everything so really the issue here isn’t your husband, it’s you. Nothing , even the best laid plans can’t work unless YOU are willing to put them in motion.

I thought the set you had back in December (Gray and white with the purple pillows) was looking good- also went with the gray nightstand. Do you still have that? I thought it was nice.

Someone told me once "perfection is the enemy of the good" and that rings true here. Progress will feel so good. I tend to also overthink things but I realize more and more that it can really be overkill.

One Devoted Dame, you make some valid points about having opinions and working together to create a home and garden you share and hopefully both love. I think the dictatorial style of this particular man, who is not "giving permission" for her to do some things that would actually improve the room both aesthetically and functionally is what is causing such strong reactions. That he doesn't "like" this or that or refuses to "let" her do anything without his approval is really just controlling behavior. I'd love to hear what he doesn't like about some of these options, not that he just doesn't like them and refuses to consider them. What doesn't one like about long draperies? And it does seem he relents eventually, which is just more evidence of just needed to control every little thing.

I suspect that most of the women (and men) here are not in relationships where permission is sought or given, but where things are discussed and there is give and take. So our strong reaction is also wondering if the OP even knows how unequal it appears she is in this relationship. No, we shouldn't judge how others choose to live, but to come to a public forum for help, then be unable to take the offered great ideas because someone lurking in the background says "no" makes it feel as if we are dealing with the middleman (woman) who doesn't have the authority to do anything that's suggested. That's why folks feel like they are spinning their wheels and reacting to HIM.

I do hope things turn out well in her quest for a home that pleases her.

Would a gray headboard work ok with the bedding set? If gray works, will any gray (ie light, medium, dark) work?

Why don't you post a few pictures of headboards you like and see what people have to say.

Get the entire bed. Then center it under the window. .........................please.

"I'm willing to let centering the bed and a nightstand for his side go."

Why?!

"I cannot imagine DH going for an upholstered headboard."

Why?!

I know there are a lot of considerations to me made here, but explaining the reservations your DH has to the suggestions shared here, and your rationale for going along with them, will help us tailor future suggestions.

Centering/second nightstand--seems like compromising is him giving in on a couple things and me being willing to let go of a couple. Those two are less important to me than longer curtains and a headboard. I don't think a second nightstand will even really be visible between the height of the bed and all the pillows. He likes his corner shelf as a nightstand and of course the bed has to be close enough to it to use it.

Upholstered headboard--DH's style seems to be some mix of traditional and rustic but always very masculine. Upholstered headboards don't seem to fit in any of those categories to me.

Not sure if this one is white or very pale gray. If we did get an upholstered one light gray or charcoal gray seem to be common options.

I don't understand if he wants something masculine, why would you get a floral bed set? The two don't go together. I'm really just trying to understand.

I think the first one Espinosa would work fine.

Any bed off center on that window, any headboard won't work. It's a waste of money , time and energy. Get your curtains and call it a day. You can't cherry pick a concept to the point that concept no longer works, and becomes the waste of resources. You have asked, you've been advised. Let it go. "We" certainly have : )

headboard is fine, but why do you keep on w/the bed position? does this look good to you blocking half of the window? you can't have a high headboard like this and expect it to work in front of a window, or partial part of the window

He likes his corner shelf as a nightstand and of course the bed has to be close enough to it to use it.

a glass of water barely fits on that. why can't you move the bed and put that other nightstand on his side so he can use it?

Or, how about doing a little floating shelf next to the bed (and removing that tiny corner piece) ?

you can make this for $20. This is better than the corner shelf. why can't he do this?

or something like this. Etsy. These are masculine.

What can happen with design as it applies to your comment above:. From the dictionary.

"The acceptance of standards that that are lower than is desirable.

Get the curtains, and toss in your towel. Don't compromise your MONEY.

com·pro·mise/ˈkämprəˌmīz/ Learn to pronounce nounnoun: compromise; plural noun: compromises

1. an agreement or a settlement of a dispute that is reached by each side making concessions."an ability to listen to two sides in a dispute, and devise a compromise acceptable to both" h Similar:agreement

• a middle state between conflicting opinions or actions reached by mutual concession or modification."a compromise between commercial appeal and historical interest"
• the acceptance of standards that are lower than is desirable."sexism should be tackled without compromise"

That Espinosa headboard is 50 inches high (which is a nice height for a headboard), just NOT in front of a window. This will look ridiculous. Find something open - perhaps a metal one?

design girl......which is why we are pressing for a bed move.

Lose the box spring for a platform,, lower the bed. forty one inches tall........MASCULINE combo of wood and upholstery under 400 bucks

https://www.allmodern.com/furniture/pdp/hayworth-upholstered-platform-bed-mcrw2937.html?piid=39587966%2C21188251

You STILL have to center it

The headboard will be blocking part of the window whether the bed is moved or not. Seems like a low headboard would be better all around. I can see that the off-centeredness will be more noticeable once we have a heardboard. Maybe I am just used to it.

I would have no problem with him using a floating shelf for a nightstand. Once we have a headboard I can propose moving the bed and the floating shelf nightstand. It does not work to move the bed with no headboard because the short curtains are right at head-height of the bed (doesn't really work to have long curtains either with no headboard because the bed has to be moved out to accomodate them which causes things to fall behind the bed at night).

I seem to have a knack for starting threads on various forums that go sideways. It's rather annoying.

@JAN MOYER - I'm having an upholstered bed made as we speak - DH has not seen fabric or design - just as it should be.

Those box springs are about 4 months old...they will have to stay.

"Sideways" is how folks go around roadblocks. Box springs are the freebie with a mattress. They have a retail value of near ZERO.

It's very clear that there is NO way this will have a good outcome. Too many "can'ts, too many won'ts, too many "they have to stay", too many I need this, I have to have that", DH doesn't like this or must have that. You've got to give up something to get something. My time will be better spent watching "The Bachelor". haha

^^^^ in every thread she posts.

Bunk beds

Years ago I had a custom upholstered headboard made for our master bedroom. The day came for the delivery and my husband was home. “ What’s this” he says? “ Its our new bed and your going to love it!” Says I! He does;)!

Heehee Jan! I just threw 2 brand new box springs out the other day!

So our strong reaction is also wondering if the OP even knows how unequal it appears she is in this relationship.

I totally get the strong reactions. I really do.

The biggest problem I have with this whole mess is that, if a woman (or man, for that matter) actually *is* in a dangerous relationship, and she were to start taking all of this advice to just get what she wants, refuse relations, threaten divorce, etc., she could very well be *killed.* There are careful steps that must be taken to protect the lives of abused spouses and their children.

The advice and so-called wisdom presented in this thread is terrible. It may be passionate and full of good intentions, but it is not safe. Being bossy, putting her down, sharing your stories of how you are "I am woman, hear me ROAR," and yelling at a woman in that kind of situation also isn't helpful... If your suspicions were true, don't y'all think she would get enough of that at home? Why make her life worse in a place she may feel safe?

Absolutely none of this is to say that I think V is being abused. I do not have enough information to evaluate that, and I refuse to draw conclusions in the absence of real, in-person data.

I seem to have a knack for starting threads on various forums that go sideways. It's rather annoying.

;-)

I'm on the other side of that coin... My threads mostly go nowhere, lol. :-/ I used to be annoyed at that, but dang, I think I'd rather only 1-3 people respond and have a quick thread death, than have a bunch of folks assuming things about my marriage and creating a ton of drama.

Okay. So. Back to the decor stuff. :-)

I disagree that a headboard won't work, given the constraints. Sometimes, especially with decorating your own home, you can break The Almighty Design Rules and still be satisfied with the changes you've made. Investing in a headboard may also have a snowball effect of convincing your husband to move the bed. Some folks just have a hard time visualizing things, and are resistant because they can't see it in their heads first (which I think is likely one of the reasons he's hesitant with decor stuff; I could be wrong, though, since I don't know you). So, get a headboard that y'all can agree on, and put it wherever. After he sees it in place, he may be inclined to move it. But even if he isn't, that's okay, because you still have a nice headboard, pretty bedding, fluffy pillows, etc. Baby steps are still progress.

V, If you simply want affirmation that the blue drapes and new comforter look ok then so be it. A lot has been said here and I won’t comment on that except to say that this isn’t rocket science. We have given you the suggestions ; now it is up to you to take them or not. It really isn’t up to us to try and force you to do what you don’t or are unwilling to do. One can lead a horse to water but you can’t make them drink!

Side by side.... moving a bed 2’ and adding a headboard. Such a small change that makes such a big difference. I can’t understand why it’s so hard to accept

Jan: that small change makes such a difference :) best suggestion by far

Or, can you caddie corner the bed in that corner, Roman shade or cellular, room darkening, no curtains and a shelf table like Jan showed under the window sill for both sides actually? Headboard would work for you maybe that way. Maybe floor lamp behind bed for reading or just aesthetics?

At this point I think the best thing for you to do is look at VERY many pictures of bedrooms on Houzz and save EVERY one that has a look you like. Then sit down with your husband and choose something you both like (floor plan, colors, furniture placement, everything) and try to match that look. Some pictures also have tags showing where to get certain pieces. It may help both of you to have an actual photo see a finish product and work from instead of just a concept. I find for myself I feel better in a room that is fairly symmetrical with 3 common colors. Do this for every area of your house you want to work on or change. Even giving your kids some say in their own spaces. Take one room at a time and just finish it before moving on to the next project. From your posts I think you are working on too many things at the same time. Starting projects without having an end plan. You are just spinning wheels and getting nowhere.

I don't know if you are still considering an upholstered headboard, and I think the one linked above from wayfair (drusilla) is really nice. I just saw this one as well, from Home Depot and maybe it would seem more masculine? Anyway they are inexpensive enough and seem to be garnering good reviews. This one is CARA and it comes in 4 colors.

She doesn't want to move the bed because DH uses a corner shelf as a nightstand. If the bed is moved, he can't reach the nightstand.

I suggest finding another spot for the corner piece, getting DH a new nightstand AND moving the bed.

I think if you've asked how to make a thing better,, been shown this below/above or similar, and don't see how the change could change you room ? Then you've made a decision. There are only so many ways to solve a problem, or you keep the problem and you settle. Decisions take all sorts of forms. : )

@V Smith - Do you see how much better Jan's first picture above is, and how it would make your bedroom look a million times better (as opposed to the photoshopped picture of your bedroom)? Notice how the headboard in first photo looks like a rather low iron headboard so it does not block the window as much. Those headboards are inexpensive and all over the internet. I would think your husband would be ok with a metal headboard. Symmetrical nightstands with matching lamps, basic bedding in white/cream that is layered with the blue you like. Blue curtains behind the bed and nightstands that end at the floor. This isn't rocket science. It's a formula almost like baking a cake. Here are the instructions, follow them and you will have a nice outcome. If you don't like any of the advice given, or are simply unwilling/unable to take it, then it would be best to remove this thread and not waste the time and "free" advice so many professionals have been kind enough to give you.

@JAN MOYER At this point I think you'd be more successful trying to nail jello to the wall.

The bedroom is still a WORK IN PROGRESS. It's not done, nothing is finalized, and changes/additions will still be made.

Unfortunately Houzz does not allow threads to be removed once they've been started. But seriously people...if you have nothing nice to say, why not just move along without posting? There's really no reason to make snarky or nasty comments because my bedroom isn't conforming to Houzz/Pinterest standards or I'm not changing it fast enough to suit people. I appreciate the design suggestions, but if making those suggestions makes someone so invested in the OP following those suggestions that they have to take it personally if they don't, then just MOVE ALONG without posting.

I agree, suedonim75, any of these type of discussions just winds up going around in circles.

Does Jello pudding have more success lol ? The low cal stuff /60 cals......with a little Redi Whip? I have that, am never without.

OH but Kozy Shack no sugar added tastes so much better - 90 cals though

VSmith-you started this thread 3 months ago.

Every suggestion or advice was shot down for 1 reason or another. It’s not that your house isn’t Houzz worthy, it’s the fact that you need an act of Congress to move the bed over 6 inches.

No one can help you based upon the very narrow parameters you’ve set.

People have remodeled entire kitchens in less time than you’ve spent getting approval on a headboard.

No changes will be made. Your Husband has such a tight grip that a useless corner shelf is going to dictate an entire room.

Every suggestion or advice was shot down for 1 reason or another.

This is a false statement.

I suggested Euro pillows, which she bought. She now has longer curtains, a bed skirt, and is much, much closer to a headboard. Those are just off the top of my head. I may have missed an element or two....

I'm not really sure what a "maximizer" is ... indecisive? Maybe trying to make individual items do too much heavy lifting? A room is more than the perfect curtain, or lamp, or paint color, it's all those items working together. Sometimes it can be hard to envision the final outcome, especially when going slowly. That's why I like design boards, and even use them for my own home decorating projects.

Anyway, you definitely need a headboard, nightstands and lamps. While I think the gray nightstand is pretty, I also feel it is a bit too delicate for the more rustic look of your bedroom; I'd pass it along to your daughter. Here's what I would suggest otherwise:

The wood panel headboard and nightstands gives a nod to your husband's love of wood, while also being pretty and practical. They also have enough heft to stand up to the wood paneling in the room. An inexpensive pair of table lamps will add symmetry and balance, while also echoing the brushed nickel curtain rods. A taller headboard centered on that window will look fine, as long as you balance it on each side with nightstands and lamps. (I prefer panel or upholstered headboards for anything other than a guest room, they are much more comfortable than metal ones, especially if you like to read at night.)

While the current comforter set and the blue drapes look fine, I like the idea of going bolder with a navy bedding set. It's a six-piece set, and comes with two throw pillows; one of those could go on the glider. If you already have Euros, you could do navy or natural shams.

Rather than navy blue drapes, I'd go with a natural linen style blackout drape. The ones I pictured are from Walmart, but most big box stores carry them. And while I prefer drapes hung higher, I think those in your bedroom are actually a little too high; I'd lower the rod to be about halfway between it's current position and the top of the window frame.

Finally, I would advise against a faux fireplace in this room. First, I don't think you really have the room, and second they never look very natural. If you are wanting it for a heat source, something like this Dyson heater/fan is much more practical. We have one in our house. It can be used for heating or cooling, plus it has the added benefit of being able to be tucked away in a closet when not needed.