@lynn Thank you I agree. As I indicated I was beyond surprised and my stomach did a flip flop.

This leads me to another question. If i like her contractor, can I hire him and not the designer herself?

That's a tricky question - you don't know how close her relationship is with him, and sometimes there is a reciprocal deal, or a commission or finders fee that he might feel obligated to pay her for the lead. Tread softly . . . .

1st off, there should have been a clear understanding of how & when money & designs would be exchanged.

In my business, I do a preliminary design at no cost & also provide an estimate based on that preliminary design. I then meet with my clients in my showroom to discuss & tweak the design & talk estimated cost. At that time we discuss going further & repricing the tweaked design. Sometimes, there are more tweaks & repricing. I do not release any drawings until I have at least a retainer for such. This helps pay for my time of doing drawings, estimating & meeting. I can't tell you how many times I have clients bring me other pros' drawings to quote off of. For the most part I don't go to a job site until I have the retainer at least. The one exception may be if the client can't measure & is nearby my office or is near another client.

You stated, “ she stated the amount of her design fee.....should I decide to work with her, she would come to my home and consult, take measurements etc.” So, you had her provide 1 preliminary design, come to your place, measure, provide a 2nd drawing, meet with her contractor, & you were "caught off guard" by an invoice? You've used her for her professionalism to this point for free. Her time is worth money. In all honesty, She should have asked for your order & got signatures to proceed. That's on her. She basically gave you her info & time for free up til now. I'm guessing that she may be a junior designer & possibly "thought" by you asking her to come out, it was indication of acceptance.

Are you obligated? I would say, no. No contract no obligation. She'll be very upset. She should have asked for the order & have you sign or give her a retainer.

Can you hire her contractor? You can. He may not want to as if she provides the contractor with a lot of work, he could be jeopardizing his bread & butter.

I agree that it should be clear when the meter starts ticking so to speak. I can see where she might interpret it that you committed to having her go forward but she definitely should have reiterated about the payment (even something such as x% is due initially or whatever.

She was definitely in the wrong about that.

As far as using her GC, I guess you could, and maybe you could see how the GC reacts. In all honesty though, I think I would try to find someone else and use them.

“In our initial email she stated the amount of her design fee. ... should I decide to work with her, she would cone to my home and consult, take measurements etc.”

she did come to the house and measured and sent me a sketch.“

So you knew she charged for the design visit, and for her ideas, and you went ahead and set up the in home appointment for that. I mean, she didn’t show up on your doorstep with a gun, and demand to be let in with a measuring tape, right? You said, “Thursday , 4:30 will work”

“should I decide to work with her, she would cone to my home and consult, take measurements etc”

You decided to work with her by setting up the appointment after receiving her email about how her process works. She just didn’t bill you in advance for the appointment. She billed you after the service was rendered. Like a doctors office not asking for a wad of $20’s up front to fit in your question about that rash. They bill you. Because you agree to pay them by the act of setting the appointment. And they trust you to pay the bill without having to go to collections.

If you didn’t want the bill, you shouldn’t have set the appointment. Thats her process. She explained it to you.

Designers sell ideas. Cabinet sellers sell cabinets. Thats why you get so many people folding in “free” visits. They want to sell you their cabinets first, and ideas secondarily to selling you the cabinets. It’s the hook. The snare. You think you’re getting something for nothing. They are retailers with a product they need to make money from. A sofa. A dining table. A big potted plant. A commodity. The design is only a byproduct of selling you that sofa that they need to make money on. Their design might as well be “free deliver” as the sales hook. Otherwise, they’d be selling design first, as a valuable service. And the right products for the design would be sold secondarily. After the design was paid for.

Ideas are more important than cabinetry. It’s the other cabinet sellers that are creating issues here, by not valuing their ideas as good enough to charge you for them. And you’re confusing a retailer with a product with a designer with ideas. You found a designer, and want to treat them like a retailer. And that’s on you.

what was confusing was her statement that a large component of her design fee would go toward cabinet, should I work with her and purchase cabinets from her. she did some work which I will not use.

I was waiting for her to price out the cabinets, which she has yet to do

There is no contract. However, I offered to pay her the difference between her design fee and her fee should I buy the cabinets.

Hopefully, she will accept my offer.

(Her processs was just like the other pros who came did a design sketch and quote.)

I will not use her contractor.