Then tell her no! Why is this such a big deal? Tell her you do not want the counter and you want to select your own slab.

Honestly, your posts are so confusing, maybe she is also confused.

Don't pick your counter just based on color. You need to learn all about the different materials. If you want stone, that's quartz (manmade), quartzite, marble, soapstone, etc. They all perform differently.

Shadow Storm is marble. Not quartzite. Read Karin’s geology threads. Its frequently mislabeled as quartzite, because that commands more money. It doesn’t matter what someone labels it as. They could call it granite. And some wholesalers do. That does not change the fact that it is geologically a marble.

Many designers pick pretty much everything for their clients, or give them only a couple of choices. Clients can easily become very confused with too many choices! I never took clients to a fabric showroom - we would have ended up with 50 fabric samples, client would be unable to decide and end up doing nothing due to confusion.

These things need to be discussed early in the relationship and both designer and client need to be onboard with how it is to work.

@The Cooks Kitchen, I'm not sure if shadow storm is marble or quartzite and looking it up everyone talks about it being both marble and quartzite and not really what my post was about it's about my kitchen designer taking my comment about a very small sample of white and grey tile that happened to be called shadow storm on her show room wall 5 weeks ago and deciding that this is the stone I want and then deciding she would pick it out for me which I'm not sure I even want. I would like to see a few granite or quartzite slabs in white and grey considering they will all look different and I'm just weirded out with Mom(KD) picking out my slab.

So contact her today, tell her you no longer like the small sample you saw in the showroom and that you want to go and look at full size slabs yourself. Take your floor and cabinet samples with you so you can see everything together.

@Hallett & Co., I told her last night that Im not sure I even want the Shadow Storm I would need to see the entire slab first and maybe some other types of grey and white like granite and this is when she said she it would be ok she would pick out a pretty one...nutty just nutty and absolutely not happening.

This post got confusing because everyone kept talking about quartzite and quartz and then my stupid spell check kept adding to the craziness but my orginial post was fine and not confusing.

Ask her if she'd be OK with the lady at the bridal shop picking a wedding dress for her, based on swatches of satin and lace. ;)

A lot of this sounds like a big miscommunication and it is likely worth having a talk with your designer to get on the same page. The relationship only works if both sides are content and feel they are getting what they need out of it. If you don’t trust her or think she listens to you it won’t work. I’d ask for a meeting. ASAP to figure this out.

mama goose_gw zn6OH ....Well said 😉

Hi A S ....I dont think its a miscommunication KD kept saying that the warehouse is to far away and the person who works the area near the warehouse is hard to schedule with (not my problem) but apparently a problem for her and that she would never pick me out and ugly slab (her words) and felt that I could just pick out my counter top by looking at a larger sample then what was in the show room.

GD then do t work with this person. If you aren’t willing to have a conversation about why this isn’t okay then don’t work with them.

I told her no I want to pick my own countertop aside from this everything else has be fine.

Most areas have several slab yards, why do you have to go to one several hours away? Probably because she gets a commission at that yard or it is owned by the shop she works at.

Google slab yards in your area, get in the car and go look on your own. You probably can't buy it retail, but you can certainly go look through their stock.

Just make it clear that you want to see slabs in person. And while you're at it, make it clear that you want to be part of the templating process too, so that you know where seams and patterns will end up.

Live_wire_oak My communication was fine I simply declined her offer to pick out my countertop.

@Chispa I’m not sure exactly how far away it’s maybe and hour if you factor in the DC/MD and VA traffic. I told her we would happy to drive ourselves to look at slabs.

What @chispa said...there are bound to be slab yards near your home. Look them up, and go peruse the inventory by yourself. One doesn’t need a designer to get access to stone yards. We even bought the granite (for our bathrooms) at a stone yard, and had it delivered to our fabricator 8 miles away...all without the influence of a KD.

We put soapstone in our kitchen, purchased and fabricated by M. Teixeira. Again, without the “help” of a KD.

If you are choosing a natural Stone, I would definitely insist on visiting the slab yard. We ran into a situation that the samples looked nothing like the proposed slabs to be used. The fabricators did say it was unconventional, but eventually made arrangements for us to visit the suppliers warehouses. After a long day trip and not finding our original Stone, the slabs we chose ended up breaking in transit to fabricators. Happy accident, went back to choose again and we're able to get slabs that were burried in the back last visit. exactly what we were looking for! I agree, that the investment for real stone is something you need to see the big picture before committing to.
Take your designer with who should have samples of your kitchen materials to compare. Just know, that it can be overwhelming with all the choices you will see if you get into slab yard. know your budget and general color/ pattern you're looking for.
On a side note, sometimes you can shop in the remnant section. Know the measurements of what you need and get it for less.

I'll say this one more time. You need to read up on the properties of different stones. You're very focussed on "pretty" but you need to consider practicality as well. What if you do go to a stone yard and find that "Storm Shadow" is the nicest looking slab there? Are you prepared to deal with the fact that it is a marble, with all the "fallibility"that entails? If you want a stone less prone to etching and staining, and want quartzite, are you going to know which stones labelled as quartzite really are, and which ones are likely mislabelled dolomites? Will you know how to test a sample? There's much more to picking a slab than just going for the prettiest one, and neither you nor your designer seem to be taking that into account.

Wow it’s seems so complicated. I just want a white and grey slab and I don’t really care if it’s Cambria or whoever I just want to pick it.

I see a few white and grey granites that are super pretty but, I need to see them first.

I didn't read this whole thread, I read about half and then started skimming. It sounds like there is confusion by the OP on what the steps are for picking out her counter. The fact that she is confusing Quartz and quartzite says to me that her designer did not explain things to her carefully.

What I want to know is from the phrase in the OP "the designer suggested that their Warehouse is very far away" and no subsequent mentions of them visiting stoneyards. I have two questions: (1) Aren't there any stoneyards in the OP's area that are closer? (2) Why aren't the designer and the OP going to stoneyards together to pick out slabs? That's what I did with my designer.

My designer and I set aside the time and visited a good stoneyard with a good selection. It was about a 40-minute drive. I fell in love with, like, 8 of the stones there, and the designer talked me down to 4 that would be most suitable both aesthetically and practically. I was blunt with her that I did not have the kind of household that could baby a counter. I don't necessarily agree with the statement earlier that the OP should know the differences among the stones - isn't that what she is paying the designer to know? My designer knew ("you don't want that one, first drop of wine on the counter, you'll cry"). So we got samples of the 4, brought them home, and picked the one that looked best. Very happy with the choice, and with the collaboration with the designer on the choice.

You certainly hope to be paying a designer for their experience, knowledge, and insight, but the only way to know if you’re actually getting what you’re paying for is to also educate yourself. I visited the stone yard with our designer, and educated myself beforehand so I could ask meaningful questions.

The reasons I suggested the OP learn about stone is that she is insistent on choosing her own, and her designer doesn't know the difference between marble and quartzite, so can't adequately advise the OP on the properties of the stone. The mention of Cambria tells me the OP doesn't yet grasp the difference between real stone and man- made, and apparently hasn't asked. All either the OP and the designer seem to be focussed on is finding a pretty stone without thinking about how long it will stay pretty once the first spash of curry sauce, red wine, lemon juice or vinegar hits the surface.

@M Miller. I hired a kitchen and bath remodeling company and of course a KD.

My KD said we would go look for slabs and that I could pick out a level 5 any kind I wanted. This was talked about and on my contract when I signed it and on my way out I saw the Shadow Storm (White and grey)4x4 tile on her display wall and I commented on liking those colors.

Yesterday She told us the cabinets will be installed on Saturday and I asked her about picking my countertop thats when she went into “I can pick out your slab from the warehouse and she would make sure she picks me a nice one” further explaining it’s and hour away and the person who works the side with the stone warehouse is hard to pin down.

I should be able to pick my stone with her since it seems like a pretty standard thing to do. I guess I will have cabinets and no countertops, I’m starting to regret even doing this Reno.

@jmm2837 I know what color I want and I have researched the different stones and I hired a KD to help me. What else should I be doing? I can’t go to stone yards since my house has people coming and going all day long, what would you suggest I do?

Do you know what kind of stone you want? There is quartzite, marble, granite, and man-made quartz, and their differences extend beyond just looks. Counters are functional as well as decorative, and what type of stone you choose should depend on functionality first and looks second.

You need to make time to go to see the product! If you won’t let your KD show you a sample then yes you need to make time to go make your choice.

Jumping into this long conversation. BOTTOM LINE - YOU are the CLIENT - you are paying big bucks for these countertops and should be allowed to view the entire slab before they go ahead with it. Go with the KD to the warehouse and pick the slab you want. If when you see it you don't like it, then put a stop to everything until you are able to find a slab of quartz, granite, marble or quartzite that you like and approve.

@ A S .....It's not that I don't want to look at a larger sample which is fine but I still don't want to pick my counter top by looking at a 12x12 or 24x24 piece of counter top. Would you pick a countertop by looking at samples? I bet not.

I’d go to the stone yard. You can’t have it both way. You are saying you are too busy to go see slabs because people coming to and from house. But then the KD suggests a bigger sample brought to you and you aren’t okay with that either. If you want to see slabs go see them but don’t make excuses about why you can’t then.

Many people pick quartz off of samples because it’s man made; not the same for natural stones like granite, marble, quartzite, which vary greatly by slab

there are pitfalls to man-made as well. the repeat on patterns like a marble vaining can look terrible on seams.

GD - there are certainly communications issues in play here. You say you've done your research, but it's unclear to me what type of stone you want, other than "grey and white." You certainly haven't clarified to us whether you want real, or manmade, high maintenance or low. If you haven't been able to clarify this any better with your designer, it's not surprising she's struggling to figure out what it is you want. And if you can't go to stoneyards, Im not sure how you expect to be able to eyeball the whole slab. No one is going to bring a selection of slabs to your house or her showroom for you to look at.

@ stillpitpat Im interested in granite or quartz. The quartzite came about in this conversation because of a sample of shadow storm I saw on KD show room wall and commented that I liked the white and light grey coloring of that sample.

@ A S I'm too busy because Im just to lazy to get in my car I have strangers walking in and out of my house from 8am to 5pm and I have no intentions of letting strangers roam in and out in my house when I'm not here it's bad enough these people leave without saying a word leave my garage wide open doors open...comical and again I'm not against looking at larger samples but I don't think this will change my mind about wanting to look at the whole slab.

You never answered would you pick out your counter tops by looking at a sample if your paying 5 or 6k for them?

@jmm1837 I don't think it's a miscommunication issue considering she said when I started this process that we would go to pick out countertops and it's in my contract so I dont think it's a miscommunication. I'm interested in quartz or granite.

You either pick out your stone by looking at samples or at slabs at the yard, so you're going to have to pick one method.

I still don't get it. If you want to go see the quartz and granite go see it. I never said you were lazy but you can't have it both ways. You either make time to go see it or you don't.

Our old house we did a full kitchen remodel and we chose our quartz off of a tiny square about the size of a coaster. And yes it cost more than 5k

In our current new build we initially chose off of a tiny coaster square too. I went out to the big showroom to look at stuff for our master bath which we had not chosen yet. While there I did confirm the quartz for the kitchen too but it was the exact same one we had chosen off of a tiny square and that was well over 5k.

@A S Ok, this countertop thing is new to me maybe I'm not understanding the process. My Kitchen and Bath company I hired has a warehouse that I'm to go to for my countertop it's and hour away give or take traffic I live in Northern Virginia about 15 minutes outside of DC this warehouse is in Maryland I know I can look at all the stone yards around my area but I can not buy I must go to their warehouse in Maryland with her because she has to set up the appointment with this busy owner. If I go to a local stone yard wouldn't I be disappointed if I fall in love with something local vs. their warehouse or would the stones give or take be the same?

Im not a person that cared much about countertops but I find myself slipping into countertop crazy person territory since I'm throwing so much money into this tiny kitchen. I swear I will never ever do this again so I want it to be right the first time.... this is worse then my 3k front door choice I made and that was a painful process and ended up being a beautiful door, still hurt.

Sorry for being snappy it's not my nature it's just frustrating trying to explain and wrap my head around the crazy process of so many choices....I feel my wheels coming off from living in a mess of a house I knew this wouldn't be easy seriously didn't think it would be this hard.

If you are committed to her and the warehouse then book the time in to go. It will set your mind at ease or confirm to you that you don't want to continue on with her as your KD.

I'm probably oversimplifying it all because our counters are a basic soft white with little specs in it. I wasn't worrying about big grains or waves or inconsistent colour. It is exactly what the litte coaster sample was as well as the big piece in the showroom and the ones we now have in the house.

If I were in your shoes I would just go out to the warehouse with her.

@A S I thought her and I were going to the warehouse until she hit me with the bombshell about the warehouse owner is busy and hard to pin down/schedule appts with and then she said she would pick it out for me the (Quartzite Shadow Storm Slab) even though I only commented on like the color at that time on the 4x4 sample heck I didn't even know it had a name until she mentioned it.

Just to be clear. You have not hired a KD. You have hired a Design Build firm. The “designer” is not paid for separately by you, and does not work for you as an independent impartial advocate for your best interests.

The designer is paid for by the firm, and her interests align with the contractor, and moving the project forward, regardless of if its in your best interests. It’s about collecting a check and on to the next.

This is pretty evident in that she didn’t go to bat for you on the plumbing debacle, and she doesn’t appear to know a darn thing about the differences in countertops. Gosh knows what all else.

Having said that, even if you did hire an actual real Kitchen Designer, you still have to stand on your own feet and be proactive in learning about the decisions that you have to make. There’s a huge amount of things to know, and it’s hard for even a good pro to educate you and prepare you for every decision that you will face. This is why you must do your own research . Which you obviously have not done.

You can not simultaneously be the pickiest person alive and the most disinterested in learning about things. Just as you can’t demand to view whole slabs if you don’t actually get in the car and drive to them. And you can’t demand to be on a low budget and the freedom to pick whatever pretty thing catches your eye.

You have to be responsible for your own outcome, and your own happiness. The firms design person is there to keep you on track making decisions. She doesn’t care if you are making good ones, as long as they get made, and that box gets checked.

A separately paid for independent KD would be charging you hourly for all of this, as you're well past the standard package rate of anyone. Handholding and educating your client is part of the job. And it gets paid for. Which is another reason most clients are motivated to learn on their own.

OP maybe you told her what you told us - that you're too busy to go to look at slabs - and she made the suggestion to go out herself. If you want to see the slabs, and I don't blame you, just say so. That's what I mean about clearing the lines of communication. While you're at it, make sure you tell her you want granite or quartz: she's not aware of that either , since she showed you a sample of marble (not quartzite). Incidentally, does their warehouse have quartz? I was under the impression, perhaps erroneous, that some of the manufacturs keep fairly tight control of access to their product.

@jmm1837 .....Im pretty sure I wouldn't say I'm too busy and the only busy I have going on she can control if she really wanted to take me to look at slabs. Yes I definatley need to be cleared with her that I'm not interested in shadow storm (I liked the color) I regret even saying anything about that sample it's like I'm stuck.

Her show room had tons of samples ...sigh.

live_wire_oak No one can deny that you don't know your stuff are you a professional designer, carpenter, electrician, plumber or a GC ? I'm none of those things and I don't sit here pretending to be I come here asking questions because I do want to understand a simple process thats not so simple. Im also glad your rolling in the money that you can poop all over my small 45k budget which is alot of money to alot of people and for my research I did research and looked at their work and I even got recommendations from other in my area and also interviewed 2 other companies and In the end I picked her because she understood what I needed in my kitchen. Im realistic in my needs vs. money although this slab thing is killing me and I'm sure I will move on.

What else could I have done to make my reno go better ? Maybe upped my budget to out price myself in my neighborhood or hired individual people for each area or maybe I should have gone to trades school for several years and learnt everything so I could do the work myself...seriously.

I have read alot of your comments to people and it's sad that you have so much info in your head that you can't provide or make suggestions without back biting. Once my kitchen is done I will be gone and 5 or 10 yrs from now when I come back for another project and need some insite i'm sure I will still see you here knawling your way through some new persons post crushing their dreams in order to feel like the top dog. Sad!

GD - Do you know if this warehouse actually carries slabs? I'm just wondering if this is why you seem to be getting a roadblock from the designer. It just seems odd to me that the owner is "busy" and that she can't show you the slabs and samples at their warehouse. And I think you are smart to look at full slabs so you totally know what you are getting. I don't know where you are in your remodel but if you don't have your cabinets in yet, you may want to wait to get them installed before you finalize the slab. It's amazing on Houzz how many OP's pick out their countertops prior to cabinet installation and then are unhappy with their slab selection.

On another note. If you are uncomfortable leaving your house because of the trade people coming and going, do you have a friend, co-worker or family member that you could ask to come over and sit your house while you go look?