Buns so people can make a sandwich with the meat. Maybe chips.

So you aren't doing pulled pork BBQ?

Yes pulled pork, beef and chicken. slaw, beans, chips and horseradish and onions and buns.

I would add a starch such as a potato dish. Around here a meatless pasta dish is common for the non meat eaters.

What is always fun at a birthday party for all ages is an ice cream bar. Vanilla and chocolate ice cream with ingredients that people like to put on top. Sprinkles, hot fudge, chocolate sauce, whip cream, nuts, crushed cookies, caramel, choc chips, etc. What is a birthday without the cake and ice cream.

A bbq dinner can go a long way, especially if dessert is provided. I have been to an annual dinner where this is served to at least this many people and there is always enough. The caterer always has the plastic wear rolled up in a napkin to make it easy to grab, servers serve up the portions of bbq, slaw, beans, and people can make their own sandwich or not on a bun. If you want another starch besides beans, have potato salad.

A large birthday cake, or maybe two, one chocolate and one vanilla should be fine. Have someone precut the squares. Or if you want to provide something else, a peach or apple cobbler is popular here, and maybe a cookies for the kids. Ice cream would be messy and take a long time with everyone trying to fix their own.

The point is the celebration and you are honoring your DH and providing a free meal, not trying to please every single palate.

Potato or pasta salad, three bean salad........if you want to do some of the food yourself, maybe you could do it at a friends house. Three bean salad can be made several days in advance and is easy to make as is a pasta salad and slaw.

Something not sweet like mac & cheese or some green beans? All those things you listed sound sweet to me, but then I like bbq sauce that is sweet and not spicy. Baked beans? or green beans? If they are baked with brown sugar which is what I think of when I think bbq and beans and cole slaw is usually a little sweet too. Just explaining my ideas.

Isn't potato salad sort of traditional with this kind of meal? It would be a nice complement, I think. I guess it will depend on what the caterers have in their choices, too.

I would for sure add potato salad and Mac and cheese. Maybe corn on the cobb.

For drinks, I'd get three large ice chests. Fill one with beer, one with wine and one with soda and water. That should provide something for everyone.

Some fruit would also be nice. You could have trays of sliced watermelon, cantaloupe, grapes and strawberries.

If you don't want to deal with serving cake, cupcakes and/or cookies would be easy and offer people choices as well.

Of course a cake is in order for this special event, but maybe cookies, too. Sounds like your dinner menu is varied and ample.

Sounds like our Welcome to MN Party for the night before my son's wedding. We had pulled pork sliders, fruit skewers, corn salsa and chips, hummus and a spiced nut snack mix. We served cup cakes because I knew she wasn't going to have a cake. It was very serve yourself and supposed to be more snacky than dinner. And yes especially with young people we had to have a vegan meat substitute BBQ offering.

I'd think about some chips and dips and other snacks for people to munch on before the caterer gets going.

To keep the cost down, make a pasta salad. So many to chose from and fairly cheap to make.

Chips and dips

Small buns, Large buns will go to waste. If they want more they can make more.

Fresh veggies are always a good idea

Baked beans are wonderful and fairly cheap to make also.

Cole Slaw

I agree with large coolers labeled Beer, Wine and water. They will drink what is available. To difficult to try to please everybody's Liquor tastes plus a the different mixers.

My sister in law make a wonderful Pulled Turkey, always a hit. Very different from anything else I have ever had.

Always nice to have a "RUNNER" just in case you run out of things. Maybe a teen that you know that will not be drinking. (or adult)

Make sure you save a parking spot close to door for you and hubby and the "runner" Then packing up is much easier.

cornbread!

the rest of your menu sounds perfect.

agree with beer, wine, water and soda... easy peasy. too difficult to get into liquor. if your DH likes a certain kind, Crown Royal for example, maybe get enough for everyone of legal drinking age to do a shot as a toast !?

dessert: cake, cookies and whatever else you and DH like!

Sounds like the birthday party given for my bother and I last year. Our birthdays are 10 years and 3 weeks apart (he being the older) and we had a combined 150 year party!!

It was hosted by my sister, SIL and oldest nephew - the bbq master - at a local BBQ place in a private room with a bar. We had bbq (brisket, chicken, sausages), various sauces, beans and slaw and mac and cheese - traditional bbq fare. And bread, not buns....traditional bbq is always served with white bread!! Beer, wine and soft drinks. My SIL brought a sheet cake.

We didn't have as many guests, tho.....only about 40, but that menu expands easily to accommodate more. It was great fun!!

You need some potato salad and some bread. Perhaps some cheese trays and do serve some breads with that cheese! What is it with all the tables set with cheeses and meats and no bread?

Have only beer and wine, but not a keg beer. I you have bottles and cans of beer you can have more of a variety and it also makes for a nicer presentation---less frat party-ish.