With white cabinets and your dark countertops, you could try a pale, frosted glass subway. Your cabinets are pretty modern looking for your home’s age, so some harkening to homes history might be good. Possibly a antiqued metal look? Paint first, select backsplash once you can see the cabinet color.

To answer your questions: long "pencil" tile is out of style, but if you are talking about rectangular subway tile vs. squre tile, that rectangular style is still considered a classic despite being past its peak trend-wise. If you are interested in looking through some of the newer design publications, you'll see upcoming trends leaning towards larger format tiles for backsplashes including some as high as 18" to fit cleanly between countertop and cabinets without horizontal grout lines. With this being a more relaxed style kitchen, you might also want to consider artistic tiles from some of the hand-painted suppliers.

You sound set already for painting, but I just want to throw out the caution asking whether you have indeed researched types of varnishes available to you (1-part and 2-part conversion varnishes also notated as 1K and 2K, specifically from pro brands like Milesi, Ilva, Renner, and ICA) and the likelihood of future cracking at the joints with expansion and contraction of wood. Your naturally-finished cabinetry looks in excellent condition from the photos you have posted. It's hard to tell on a small screen with photos taken from that distance, but I just want you to be prepared for the outcome if you do paint and then find in one or two years that the coating isn't holding up as you had expected whereas your current coating may have looked better longer. There is also the issue of white paint yellowing in time. Waterborne coatings are more likely to avoid the yellowing, but some pros are talking about waterbornes yellowing as well within about 2 to 5 years after application. If you are intending to do this job yourselves, there is a certain amount of preparation that needs to go into the work. You can find more information about DIY jobs at this Facebook group that includes pros who will offer advice: Facebook - Cabinet Painting & Refinishing DIY & Pros

Then, this is beside the point if you really like white, but just to point out that the white kitchen is past its peak in interior design trends. Some people will strongly argue that white kitchens are always classic, but what you have currently in the natural wood finish is the new trend that is coming back strong in 2020 for kitchen cabinetry to be done in natural wood tones. Best wishes with whatever you decide.

Thank you both! Yes, Flo, the cabinet style was put in by some flippers, we are trying to bring some charm back to the house. we thought white cabinets might be the best bet for such a small space:) We have a pro working with us on the cabinet painting, thank you grateful4advice :) I wouldnt want to tackle that without having researched a ton, and having a pro involved :)

Reinforce the vertical lines with vertical pulls instead of knobs. Back painted glass backsplash will give a solid, uninterrupted look to contrast with the vertical lines of the cabinetry. I can't see how the fridge and sink align, but it looks like you might want to reverse the door swing so you can open it and set things on the counter or have it in direct line with the sink where you'll want to prep the fridge foods.

@Kari Petersen It will save you much work to have a pro doing the job, however, my sad experience has been that a surprising percentage of pros out there aren't using the products that may hold up the best, especially when it comes to white finishes that can yellow, so it's always good to double-check. Companies that use 2K, post-catalyzed, waterborne conversion varnishes from a company like Milesi can guarantee their finishes for virtually the owner's lifetime of wear if the home's humidity is kept stable. A painter using a 1K oil-based lacquer might offer you a 3-year warranty on chipping, cracking, or yellowing. The labor is the most expensive part of the job, so please take time to ensure the coating material and the prep, sealer, and number of coats with sanding in between will guarantee your finish for long wear.

Good painting advise. Another thought you might consider is to see if you can replace a couple upper cabinet doors with glass fronts and put some lighting inside. Then do a basket weave backsplash that has more vintage look. Something like this.

Don't overthink this, Kari. Black, white & grey would give you "french bistro" charm. A standard white subway tile backsplash with a dark grey grout will tie into the countertop & the white cabinets. If you want to be fancier you could install a grey and white veined marble tile in a herringbone pattern. Hardware and fixtures should be rubbed bronze, basically black but not shiny. Before the backsplash gets installed think about moving the outlets & switches to under cabinet styles. All these items are widely available at the big box hardware stores.