We handled my mom‘s things when she moved into a home, much the way you did, donating, selling, sharing and included all the grandchildren. My mom is just happy we’re happy.

In addition to some of her own artwork, I only have one box and a cedar chest containing four wedding gowns, including hers, as I don’t want my kids to be burdened with sorting grandparents‘ and parents‘ things and actually have started to edit.

Over time, take a box and chose one or two favourite items that makes you happy/brings back wonderful memories.

I have a beautiful small glass and silver container my grandmother had in her kitchen. It’s now filled with bath salts and every time I look at it, I remember my dad, my mom and grandfather in rocking chairs in a huge French Canadian kitchen with a wood stove and my grandmother in her apron being so happy with everyone around her. That’s how one small thing can trigger special memories and don’t worry about getting rid of things that don’t. Hope this helps.

I think some people are just more wired to be emotionally attached to things than other people are!! (See: me vs. my husband.) This may sound hokey, but reading Marie Kondo really helped me. Most importantly, her method of folding clothes changed my life (well, my drawers). ;) But in all seriousness, she addresses *things* very respectfully. She recommends laying everything out and then think about and express gratitude for the memories they evoke, acknowledging the emotions and honoring the items for the role they've played in your life, and then saying farewell. It really does sound woo-woo, and I'm normally not the kind of person who goes in for things like this, but performing that 'ritual' felt so healthy and positive and affirming -- and it gave me the freedom to do things like give away my kids' baby clothes, my great-aunt's stash of Norman Rockwell decorative plates, monographs from grad school, etc. etc. -- things that I had not wanted to get rid of 'just in case' and because it felt disrespectful/unloving to not Keep Forever, but that I never ever ever used.

My husband and I don't have children, so this issue is something I always think about. It will be up to our nieces and nephews to deal with all of our junk someday. There is no way they'd have the emotional attachment to our thing the way one of our children would. I've purged a lot of things because of this. I also don't take on any family heirlooms, pictures, ect. I let my siblings take them so that their children can have them to pass along if they want. On one hand it's nice to "just throw stuff away", but it's also a little depressing to know all your stuff has no meaning to others.

While I'm not at that age to plan for this, I certainly do think about it. I do NOT want to unnecessarily burden my husband and family with "stuff." I am a minimalist, which helps, but I read the The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning and found it to contain sage advice. It also coupled well with Marie Kondo's approach. One of the suggestions was to label items for a designated donation to make things easier for anyone performing the clean out, for example: "The sweaters in the top drawer go to the nursing home on Light Street. Give the winter coats to the shelter on Spring Street." This method eliminates the hand-wringing that often accompanies such endeavors.

I had four Royal Doulton figurines in a box in my sewing room closet. They belonged to my mother in law who passed three years ago. They are not to my taste in decor and no other family member wanted them either. Today, I sold them all to a nice lady who has many more in a cabinet. She’s happy to have them and I feel really good about it. My father and my mother in law passed away within two weeks of each other, my husband and I both had to act as executors of their estates. So, some things were packed away to ponder about. I’m inspired to keep going to deal with the remaining boxes. It’s not about the money, it’s just finding the right home or person to take them. I found it interesting that I did not find a single item that was passed down from their own parents.

Two things come to mind:

First, a comment that a tv host/organizer used to reiterate: "You aren't honoring a person's memory by keeping things in boxes."

Secondly, I try to imagine it's my stuff, after I'm gone. I'm also a crafter/artist and although I've tried to be careful about accumulating too much, it will still be more than someone should have to deal with. How would I want my loved ones to handle it? I would love it if they found a way to make my stuff useful again. If they advertised on NextDoor, for example, and a mom took some for crafting with her homeschoolers, or somebody who sews dog beds for the local kennel took fabric, etc. That would be the best outcome for me. The worst outcome would be for one of my beloved children to stress or lose sleep over the dispensation of it.

I hear you are saying you feel uncomfortable with getting rid of it-while simultaneously not wanting it, is that right? You also said your mom didn’t get rid of it in the years after her husband passed...

Do you feel that your mom would be disappointed about what you let go of?

I imagine my kids one day weighed down by what I may leave behind...it breaks my heart and makes me want to let go of EVERYTHING to save them from that stress. But I won’t because I want them to take what they do want...if it is nothing than I hope they will let it go peacefully with no guilt. If I tell them this would it even work?

In the end the grieving is unavoidable. Maybe letting go of the remainder which you do not need/want will be another layer of mourning the loss of your mom?

I get it, I really do. I have a dozen or so things of my mother’s and a few of my grandmother‘s that still reside in a box in the attic. It is time to let them go and I intend to do so soon. Have you offered them to your sister? Or do you have other family members who might want some of it?

I second the recommendation to try to sell what might sell and then let the rest go.

This thread encouraged me to start donating again. Four small boxes of fragile items ready to go. Plan on getting more together before calling for pick up. I feel a tad lighter already.

I actually quit my job to devote myself to the whole "death cleaning" concept. I have no heirs so want to have everything given away or organized to give away after I'm gone. For example, my alma mater has a library of children's picture books for practicing teachers to use, and I've designated them to get my collection. Still using it now. Etc. It's a very slow process. I did not think my death would be so "front and center" at 60 though. Ironically, the pandemic has not sped up the process for me. It's harder and harder to imagine where to get rid of these things. i am really opposed to throwing things away. That's what really bugs me, not getting rid of it but throwing it away. Our culture is accumulating mounds and mounds of "stuff" and yet we still go for more. We're destroying the planet with our insatiable desire for "stuff" and then our short attention span to throw it away. I'm trying to cultivate slow thoughtful uses of the things i have, which I think is why it is taking me so long to get rid of everything. I was able to pretty easily get rid of the tchotchkes, it's the clothes, books and photos and memorabilia that stall me. I got rid of some thing on ThreadUp but that may be kind of stalled with the economy the way it is. People are even LESS likely to want all my mother's wonderful, classic fine "power" business clothes . . .Of the stuff I sold, the only thing that didn't sell was a pristine, fine wool Eddie Bauer sweater vest, totally classic and high quality and I was selling it for like 6 bucks. The polyester exercise pants sold right away . . . I wish the vest fit me, that's the only reason I had to sell it!!

check out this book https://www.marnijameson.com/downsizing-the-family-home. She has a work book to go with it. When I read it I wasn't in the position of doing this chore but it helped me to look at things - STUFF - in my home in a different way. And I just enjoy her style of writing.

"It’s a rite of passage almost no one will escape: the difficult, emotional journey of downsizing your or your aging parents’ home. Here, nationally syndicated home columnist Marni Jameson sensitively guides readers through the process, from opening that first closet, to sorting through a lifetime’s worth of possessions, to selling the homestead itself. Using her own personal journey as a basis, she helps you figure out a strategy and create a mindset to accomplish the task quickly, respectfully, rewardingly—and, in the best of situations, even memorably. Throughout, she combines her been-there experience with insights from national experts—antiques appraisers, garage-sale gurus, professional organizers, and psychologists—to offer practical wisdom and heartwarming advice so you know with certainty what to keep, toss or sell., and how to preserve the memories -- not the stuff."

Here's a short video of Margareta Magnusson, writer of Swedish Art of Death Cleaning, visiting a friend. I've used it for teaching a class on death & dying and students really responded to her. Funny - really! The book is quite charming too.

It's difficult, things bring back memories and you don't want to lose memories.

But I agree with thinking if there are other relatives or good friends/neighbors of your mothers who may want a few of the things. Spread the memories around to others.

Best of luck.

Wow thank you all so much. Lots to digest. For some reason I thought my post didnt publish but here it is.

I watched the Marie Kondo series. It was interesting and my closet, the kitchen, the linen closet, bathroom drawers, etc are in pretty good shape in some part due to what I have incorporated from her. My spouse...hehe. A work in progress.

I have started unpacking the boxes. There are two of fabric - some of it quite beautiful. There are tiles. Architectural bits...you know what can accumulate.

I feel better. Some things I just dont like. Some 70s stuff, for example. I think I can let go. Rearranging the display areas will take some. Anything good I may keep.

Sometimes I think about something my sister has and I will ask her about it. Her face will just drain of blood. She did a lot of paring down. I have to remind myself its ok. It was hers to deal with as she saw fit. So I am not gonna ask her to take anything.

I lied. I have 2 closets. Lol. The other has stuff marked for ebay. Those ebay boxes have moved twice. So time to set up the account.

I think I will have a couple things framed. She framed what she liked. Theres still a couple pieces I like that remain unframed.

Also, when I burn leaves this year I think I will burn a couple of badly damaged items. No sense keeping those things.

Thanks again. I have some things to read and watch. I really do feel a bit better!

JJ

As you search for more uncluttered, empty space, instead of considering what to get rid of, consider what you would take with you if you had no choice but to downsize.

If you have furniture and furnishing and collectibles that you and are contemplating where they should be when you're gone, you could get some small stickers and put numbers on the bottom of them and make a list of those numbers putting names of persons or instructions by each number on that list. You could use removable stickers and tell no one they're there so only you will be swapping out the stickers if you change your mind if that might be an issue. Put your list with your will and other final instructions and important documents.

If you have only two heirs in mind, you could have one person divide your belongings into two lists and have the other person choose which list they'll take.

OP, I recommend taking a nice photo of you mom's items and then donate them. I bought a beautiful painting years ago at a Goodwill and it still brings me joy in our home and will hang in our new home. I am sure someone painted the canvas I have. I don't think you should feel overwhelmed or feel like you are abandoning you mom's art. Think of it as allowing someone else to enjoy your mom's art in their life like you have. <3

Don't part with her things until you are ready. I winnowed down by donating slowly until I have one small box left. I kept my mother's silk scarves and when I wear them I smile because they still carry a bit of her Chanel scent. Ultimately, it's the warm memories you keep.

Hi JJ, I feel your pain, When my mom was downsizing, she and my sister prepared things to be sold at an estate sale. I arrived from out of town and saw so many things in the estate sale pile from my grandfather (who died when I was 4) and other previous generations or even things that brought back childhood memories (no, not the red handled screwdriver that Daddy used to put together things we'd pick up at junk stores!) or even my high school art project that won third place. "You people are cold!" I told them. They laughed. "If you want them, take them," my mother said. So after a very expensive trip to the UPS store, they now sit in my spare bedroom and that is perfectly okay with me.

Everyone's different, you have to do you. You may find it helpful to speak with a grief counselor to get that ebay stuff moving. I had the advantage of having a friend who is a grief counselor and she gave me great advice on so many things when I needed to clear out my husband's things when he died far too young. I love Marie Kondo and she's helped me get rid of my own stuff, but grief counselors bring a perspective that help one deal with others' stuff. #1 advice from GC's "Don't be hard on yourself."

All the best to you and when you do decide to get rid of that 70's stuff, give me a call. :-)

This thread really hit home with many here, including me. My main concern at this point is that I not leave problems for my kids to sort through. I shredded a few things yesterday, some of it was hard for me, but I know it will have no interest to my kids. It’s hard to shred photos.

Salvation Army is still accepting donations here, but other thrift shops where I prefer to donate nicer things are closed.

I don't know if this is OT or not, but your fabric dilemma reminded me of my own. My late mother was a sewer, at one point she sewed (and by sew I mean fine tailoring) all her own clothes. She learned it from my grandmother who was a similar home crafter--sewing, rug weaving, crochet wool blankets, quilting, etc. I have many examples of my grandmother's handiwork, none of her great or great great grandchildren want it nor anyone else from their generation. My mother's sewing machine broke and she never got a new one, so I wasn't able to pick up the skill. I've always wanted to but never had the time or opportunity. Mom had a closet filled with all her old sewing stuff, lots of beautiful fabrics she had saved. She never did pick sewing back up for whatever reason. I have tried and tried to find a quilting group or some other crafting groups that wants these fabrics, only to hear "We have more than we know what to do with." Point is, the number of people who do home crafts is dwindling. Sure some do it, but no where near at the rates of the previous two generations. That's what saddens me more than getting rid of the fabrics, the way that commercialism has increasingly taken over our lives. No one makes their own clothes, quilts, rugs, bread, etc. Yeah, some folks here, for sure. But in my community, I am looked at as an anomaly because I do canning . . . we used to have two fabric stores in my home town, now nothing. It's not the giving away that bothers me, it's the throwing away . . . and not the throwing away of some silly tchotchke, but the nice well-made things of the past that no one wants because they are "dated." In Europe they call that history!

@l pinkmountain I totally understand your situation too, having at one time been a person who sewed a lot. A few suggestions on what to do with your fabric. If you have a NextDoor app/site in your area, put it out that you have fabric. You will find someone who wants it. Experienced sewers and people who join sewing clubs have far too much of their own fabrics but new sewers do not and you won't find new sewers in clubs usually. ebay sells a lot of fabrics. You can put them out as a lot of different fabrics or if there are large quantities of single fabrics, sell them individually. Most thrift stores will take fabrics. I went to a fabric sale at a locally owned one recently. The sale had a lot of specialty fabrics that I could tell came from a very experienced sewer who was giving it up. The sale was advertised in the store ahead of time as a special event and the place was packed. So if you have a thrift store that supports a local charity, you will find them open to special events that their own regulars will support and pass the word on. If you're on Facebook, put it out there and you will likely find new sewers who are interested in your fabric simply because all the fabric stores have closed.

Covid had driven people inside and they have broken out grandma's sewing machines. Many new sewers are being born. Good luck to you!

I fully understand the throwing something that is still useful away angst. I find myself procrastinating about getting rid of certain things because I want them to be useful for someone else. I will often play the game of I would give this away or sell it. Then, I end up doing nothing because the selling it takes time and effort.

I'm a very organized person. I don't have children. Compared to many of my friends, I have pretty clean closets. We've moved a lot in our marriage. That has helped the situation. My sister-in-law got most of my mother's things. I have certain resentments about the situation that I try to overcome with varying degrees of success. I recognize that it's time to start to cull my possessions, too. Family items are definitely the hardest. I took a few of the items to an antiques fair and was horrified at how little they would bring. For example, my mother's full length mink coat that she loved more than her children, $40.00. The dealer was being nice to offer that much. I wish I had taken the offer. The coat doesn't fit me, too large and I won't use it. I've got four dining room tables, Two of them are fine antiques and very nice. No one eats at a table, $500. Ouch. A full service of Limoges china, no one wants it.

My mother-in-law was an artist and crafter. She gifted us a lot of ceramics over the years. Some are pretty good. I'd be happy to give them to grandkids, but they already have plenty of her items. The hard part is telling my husband that it's time to let them go. They belonged to his mom and I don't want to be disrespectful. So, I keep dragging them around.

How to deal with the sense of being overwhelmed. The solution is to create a do able task that is reasonable to complete. Don't look at the big picture, tackle the small project. Clear the bed. Get three boxes or trash bags. Start with one closet and one closet only. No more. Start at the top. Put everything on the bed. Sort it into three piles, keep, give away or sell, and trash. The keep pile should be the smallest. If you have to walk away for a break, do it. Return filled with new resolve to cull some more. Get the stuff into the respective pile or bag asap. You are done for the day.

Plan for the next small project. Keep the projects small. I'm going to go get rid of that mink coat.

Homechef, a couple years ago people were buying old fur coats to make teddy bears, check on Etsy if that is still a thing? There may still be an online consignment site (Buymyfur?)

pink, most quilters are looking for 100% cotton fabric. Colors and small patterns (for the squares) are sought after. There are still quilting clubs throughout the nation. Start with an over 55 housing community.

I watched the short video recommended by talaveran above. I liked it. I guess in some respects I keep house like Swedish Death Cleaning. At any moment my back could go out but it wouldnt matter because the windows are pretty clean and rooms are presentable. But yes. If you dont do it, it will fall to someone else.

I, too, have experiened the "horror" of looking up a beloved item online and seeing the last sale was for fifty cents! Everything is always changing. If my mom saw what happened to her dining room set...

Photographing some of these things makes some sense, as I have been slowly digitizing the family photos. Here's some more. I was putting them online for family members and they seemed to enjoy that.

Homechef yes, I believe in the small steps method. For everything. That's why I have a couple empty drawers in my kitchen and bathroom! It is important to start somewhere. 15 minutes. Set the egg timer.

My mom was difficult in some ways. But she did teach us to appreciate beauty and to have respect for others less fortunate. Not a bad legacy even if I dont keep the green and gold "pear" tiles.

Still thinking about this today: I closed the door on the one guest room yesterday and decided to leave it for now.

There have been many discussions on downsizing/reducing here over the past couple of years. I think there are many who would say I am not sentimental then there are those who know what I have hung on to that would say I am waaay over board on the STUFF I have kept/collected. Perspective makes the difference. This I know until you are ready to let go of whatever it is; DON'T. Let your heart lead. If you leave behind things other's have to dispose of TOO BAD. Life's like that. Always has been. When you are ready you will let go in your time, on your terms. All these self help how to books drive me insane.

I think a great piece of advice for JJ was offered by Homechef--tackle the job one task at a time, one bit at a time. Or to put it another way, "Eat the Elephant one bite at a time." Don't focus on the whole task, just discipline yourself to tackle getting rid of one thing at a time, or one box at a time. Discipline yourself to spend an hour or even 20 min. a day on the task of getting rid of stuff, or maybe even just dealing with it. I found a bottle of Bailey's Irish Cream in one of my moving boxes, I got it two years ago and somehow left the store with the security cap still on it. And then I lost the receipt, and then it went into a box. Hubs spent about a half hour carefully dismantling the cap and now we are enjoying it with our coffee. Baby steps!

Another way to handle it would be to hire some help and plan to get it all done in very short period of time. Or a little of both . . .

JJ! Your local Habitat for Humanity ReStore would LOVE to have the pear tiles and other architectural pieces. Habitat ReStores sell everything from cabinets to couches. You would be right in tune with your mother's philosophy of respecting the less fortunate with a donation. Good luck! This is a very difficult process and our thoughts are with you.

Found you some fabric donation places--all very worthy!

Where Can I Donate Quilt Fabric?

https://www.bloomeriefabrics.com/blogs/blog/where-can-i-donate-quilt-fabric

When you are emotionally READY, donate the items to Goodwill or Habitat. Most people who shop these stores are on a tight budget and are trying to furnish or improve their homes and truly value finding nice things in these stores. Remind yourself of the joy they may feel when they are able to buy a nice piece of art or perhaps just a trinket that makes them feel good to have it in their home. Of course there are many of us who just enjoy browsing and buying in Goodwill and thrift stores, but again it brings us pleasure also😜. We read here on Garden web and the many blogs out there of talented people who create beautiful homes and projects by shopping these venues and repurposing, refinishing, ete and it brings them joy.

Thanks for the additional ideas.

I really do try to keep my own things moving through the life cycle. I always have a "donate" box going in the garage and I periodically Kondo my closets and drawers.

I have a roll of Japanese kimono fabric from the late 50s - with the original paper wrapping. Something like this, not sure what to do with it but it is special so I will keep it. Stirrups for somebodies horse? Probably not lol.

I want to have this project done in 3 weeks for when we host the inlaws. They come over once a month to get away from it all. "Their" guest room is empty but I always have the door closed on this one.

@JJ "I have a roll of Japanese kimono fabric from the late 50s - with the original paper wrapping." I get it. I have three kimono from my grandma (she immigrated from Japan when she was a little girl, and went back many times during her life) -- and for all my love of Marie Kondo, I can't give those away, either.

If I had Kimono fabric from the 50s, I’d frame it. And I’d hang the kimonos on the wall. SO cool!

Wow - that kimono fabric must be so unique. You can use lengths of it to wrap gifts furoshiki style. Another idea for some of the more unique items is asking a local theatre or univ theatre dept if they need those things for costumes or sets - right now not likely, but when we resume our regular lives...

I was given some vintage kimono fabric from a friend who got it from her late mother in law. No one in the family wanted it so since I was a fabric junkie, she gave it to me. I upholstered an open arm chair in it that sat in a guest room. Once my friend saw it, she loved it so I gave her the chair. I had gotten it at a thrift store, so very little investment since I had done the upholstering and I was happy to pass it back. Now, her 30 year old daughter who had no interest in the fabric, wants the chair. So perhaps you could find a piece of furniture that is lightly used and upholster it in the fabric. If it was in my house, I'd post a pic, it was stunning.

One thing you might not think of is prisons. Our prisons take all kinds of quilting supplies for the women to learn to sew. They may do other crafts, I just know about the quilting.

That's a great idea to ask theaters if they want it!! Set/costume designers are *so* creative -- they will make gorgeous and reusable props and costumes with it. @Bette P -- I used to hang one of the kimono up in my living room... doesn't fit where we live now. But I like the idea of folding/framing it -- I'll look into that. Maybe give it back to my Mom or one of my sisters... [evil laugh]

Second attempt to post - sorry if there's a duplicate.

I am not making much progress on this! I have consolidated into 3 HD boxes and 1 Rubbermaid container. I have sorted through some of the spare linens and have managed to part with a set of old guest bed sheets but other than that, the total number of objects hasn't changed very much!

What do you do with ivory? My mom had wanted to send it in to the US fish and wildlife service to be destroyed so I am checking into that. Some places claim to take donations but it appears more like you are donating to their retirement fund. I don't feel right displaying it and it should just be gone from my house.

Here are two photos of the kimono fabric. The colors and pattern are quite subtle (kind of like the colors of the year, no?) I was thinking of doing a wall hanging but now I am reconsidering just because the pattern is so small. Pillows might be the best use...or just keep it in reserve lol.

My photos wont post.

It might be too large. Try checking the size and resizing, if necessary.

Wait for the picture to “solidify,” and then hit submit.

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Oh I can so relate. Kimono fabric is one of the things in Mom's fabric stash. Mom lived in Japan for a year teaching on a US Army base, and brought back so many lovely things I joke that there must have been a small cargo plane flying behind the jet she took home, carrying all her stash. Ivory, lacquerware, hand made silver jewelry, hand made dolls, watercolors, wood block prints, pen and ink drawings, kimonos, porcelain, fabrics, wooden tea chests, hand made books, photo slides . . . no one wants any of it. That old stuff . . . clutter . . . etc. Photo below of Mom in one of the silk kimonos I have holding a hand made porcelain vase and wearing her ivory necklace and earrings. No one to leave it to . . . the vase might have some resale value. Rest will end up at auction when I die or maybe in the trash . . . including this photo.

Nice photo. Yes that pottery piece looks like some I have.

I dont want my house to be a shrine to my mom. We are different people. But some things are beautiful outside of the nostalgic value and thats what I want to focus on. Why buy a bunch of homegoods stuff when you have some unique things right at home. It just takes a little work to keep it contemporary and not old fashioned looking.

Need to finish this up so I can get my 90s table and chairs refinished before Thanksgiving!

My sentiments exactly JJ. I don't want a shrine to the past either, but throwing away nice things from the past that are still serviceable for their original use, and valuing cheap machine made stuff designed to last only a couple of years with the idea that the worst sin in your home can be that it looks "dated" is sad and very wasteful. The impetus to have that value system has been going on for a long, long time. When I was a kid I was dragged to many an auction by my mother where she picked up beautiful solid wood pieces for pennies. No one wanted antiques then either. They are still in my home today and still going strong as far as beauty and utility.

Goodness, I would really try to sell the good pieces on eBay at the very least, especially if it’s not very “valuable.”

I know for me maybe there is a psychological component. My mom would watch shows like "cash in the attic" like most people watch horror shows, and she would often test our resolve and loyalty. "She sold all those beautiful pieces and bought a hot tub!!!!!" I think that episode almost caused a stroke.

Anyway, we all deal how we can. I'm not really depressed about it. More perplexed. Like I said...I have empty drawers in my kitchen...bath...closets that have few things in them. Its just this last bit. Not important, really, in the broad scheme of things.

I am cleaning out sewing stuff. I have mine, my Dad and Mom's, which includes her mother and grandmother's. She didn't sew, but Dad did. My MIL's. which includes her mother, grandmother, sisters, and MIL. I had one thimble. I now have 15, 14 my husband took one for his use.

I kept looking at it and just throwing up my hands, until I just took one box and went through it. I am up to about six or seven boxes, bags, and containers. I have cleaned the containers. Sorted. Keep or trash. So far I have only come up with one give away. It is some needlepoint my MIL must have got in 1973 or so when I was pregnant. Pictures for little boys.

After I get through with sewing and crafts, I will move on to everything else.

My goal is to go through every box, drawer, cabinet, closet, and container. Most will be keep or trash. Keep will be only if very sentimental or useable. Next will be give away or donate. Last, and will be very small, try to sell if seems to be worth something. That will only last for a short while and then it will move to give away or donate.

I do not want to have an estate sale company in my house. My kids can keep what they want and then it will be donated to the pet rescue thrift stores.

Thank you Sherry! I can relate. At one time I had 3 sewing machines! Now I have none. I can borrow my sisters if I need to sew anything. Small steps!

Like others I can relate to this thread. We are in the process of settling my mom’s estate currently. Want to move most of her things along. Many items are in storage. Better than my house, but it is getting expensive storing all this stuff.

I think my biggest space wasters are photos, 7 decent sized moving boxes of family photos. Very little family interested in having any of these. What to do with these, no idea. Then the 5 boxes of genealogy research, Grandma was a librarian and this was one of her passions. I do plan to move this information onto the computer, so the boxes will go away eventually but it going to be a big project. Also have china and silver plate, that I need to figure out. Sterling, I will likely sell one of the two sets. Love the other one.

Everything on the estate front is such slow going. My grandparents collected Chinese art, sculptures and such. Most pieces are 19th or early 20th century. My mother kept them all. There are probably 80 pieces,. They are not particularly valuable but worth the effort of auctioning over donating to a thrift store. Contacted an auction house, they are so slow. Over a month waiting for estimates, but supposedly soon. The auction house is fairly close and reputable so I am being patient but I am really just wanting to get this done.

JJ - I have the ivory problem as well. While I am morally opposed to the ivory trade, the artistry of these antique pieces is just incredible. Would love to donate to a reputable museum rather than just have the pieces destroyed. However, my understanding is that there were several billion dollars worth of ivory in private collections when the law was passed making it essentially illegal to sell any of it, so probably many others in the same boat. Again, no idea what to do. Asked the auction house if they have any recommendations.

Thankfully, most of mom’s things were sold in an estate sale last year when she moved into an assisted living complex.

Per the recommendation here, I began reading the AARP book "Downsizing The Family Home." All I can say is, "wow." I feel this book should be on everyone's gift list for those that have aging parents. Not only does she write in an engaging manner, she takes us along on her own efforts to downsize her parents' home. Her frankness regarding the emotional and psychological toll is appreciated. Hopefully, I'm nowhere near needing to do this but I greatly appreciate being provided with a strategy to handle, and awareness of, what is to come.