Compromise, you get grey stained wood cabinets and your husband wears sunglasses. Happy wife, happy life.

(its getting late)

You could go 2-tone with darks on the bottom and lighter uppers. I'd be wary of grey-stain though-- grey is on its way out.

If you haven’t even started the build yet, you don’t want grey. It is a trend past its date, and definitely will feel dated when your house is done in two years.