"recessed" = "can" -- they're just two names for the same thing. maybe you can clarify what sorts of lights you've seen and not liked. some are recessed 4 inches, some are nearly at the surface; some are 6 inches wide, some 4, some 2; many are LED. there are also very shallow flushmount lights that give a similar effect...

here are a few examples and ideas:

Plaza with Central Hole 11-Inch Recessed Light Shade · More Info

Mini Medallion Spot Light Ring White Trim 5 Inch ID x 9 Inch OD · More Info

Globe Electric 90949 Pack of (4) - 4" GU10 Square Recessed Trim - White · More Info

Modern Cottage Dream Home in Edina · More Info

Edgy guest house · More Info

Naples Beach Coastal Retreat Kitchen · More Info

Hope this helps!

Less is more- simple 4” can, white ring, silver or white smooth baffle, br20 led bulb. This keeps the bulb an inch above the ceiling plane so it’s least visible

Thank you so much for these comments!!