I’ve seen it time and time again also. Helping some with out either any acknowledgement, simple reply, or even a thank you...Quite annoying!

Members take the time to give helpful thought out advice, some even taking time to include photos...which we all know can be time-consuming.... and then nothing, nada... not even a thank you.

I see many first timers come here to seek an answer... get it and disappear with no reply whatsoever. But what I find to be really sad.. is when a ‘regular’ member acts in this manner.

Fortunately, there are enough who thank/acknowledge replies that the ones who don’t aren’t an issue for me. Since I don’t know their circumstances, I simply move on to the next post.

tj

Agree, but don't think it's limited to GW. This is my #1 pet peeve (well, in the top 5, anyway...) at work -- not having emails acknowledged. It drives me nuts, absolutely nuts, especially if it's something with a deadline or important that they're aware of it. I've gotten better at chilling out about it, but dang it's just COMMON COURTESY to acknowledge things. I guess maybe that's the root of things -- lack of common courtesy nowadays? All we can do is lead by example and hope others notice and model our behavior.

Yes, yes and yes.. AND thank you for your responses, you are all correct.

I'm with you all - like mxk says, it's common courtesy!! Someone can't open an email, and hit reply, type "got it" or "Thanks" and then hit send? Come on!

Specifically here, I always try to take the non-acknowledgements with a grain of salt. We don't know what's going on in the poster's life. Maybe they have an illness or family emergency. Maybe they dropped dead, God forbid. Maybe they are new to the forum and can't figure out how to sign back in lol! Maybe they forgot they posted...

As tsuga says, there are enough here who ARE thankful, or responsive, and acknowledge all the responses and support or whatever it is they were looking for in the first place, to make up for those who don't!

:)
Dee

Such an interesting topic. Especially in light of the fact the traffic and activity here is so reduced from what it once was. I know we've had that discussion multiple times, and really, my impression has been, that it was 2 reasons that precipitated the decline of the forums here, the change to Houzz, which has never been as good an experience as it was when Spike was here, and a period of time when there was a lot of conflict in threads. So, while this might be an issue, I don't think it is a large issue for most members.

But I have heard people speak up about the lack of response when someone doesn't acknowledge or answer someone who has taken the time to post a solution to their question. I haven't had a lot of those experiences I guess. I used to have it on one forum, but it was always newcomers who probably googled their question and hit a GW link and asked the question, didn't get an immediate reply and went off and forgot they even posted. And it was annoying, but the way I resolved that for myself, was to wait to see if an OP received an answer and responded to it before I weighed into the thread.

I often find I am asking more questions than answering them. I've been gardening a long time, but I don't consider myself an expert in any area of gardening. I'm always happy to share my experiences for whatever that's worth, but as a member who asks a lot of questions, I am almost always very happy with the responses. The only time I have a problem, is with someone whose answer is not quite on point with what I was asking, or may be technically correct, but I'm looking for more than that, and hope to hear of someone's experience in their own garden, not something I could read in a book. Or, the advice is heavy handed with some kind of expectation that I take the advice, when there are other considerations that I've not taken the time to fully explain in my post. Or --- someone includes with their advice criticism of my gardening choices and decisions....lol. Thankfully, for me, that is a rarity or it might be a member that I've had enough experience with to know that is what I'm going to get, so I can avoid that. If it were a big problem for me, I wouldn't still be here for over 15 years. So, that is my honest answer.

Hi prairiemoon,

Like you, it is relatively rare that a post of mine gets completely ignored here, but, coincidentally, that very thing did happen to me within the last couple of days here. Gardening is just a sideline with HOUZZ, whereas it is the main thing over at the National Gardening Association. So I tend to spend more time over there.

ZM

Zen Man - I remember you! Yes, I did go over and visit the National Gardening Association after you told me about it the last time. I am happy to have that as an alternative, but, right now I find I'm still finding GW my comfort zone. [g] And I don't seem to find the time to do both right now. it looks like a very active place!

And yes, if it was just about Houzz vs NGA - Houzz really seems to marginalize gardening here. It's just about the people and relationships you have.

Oh, and btw Jeb, I really appreciate you posting about your experiences. I try to express appreciation for the time people take to share here, but you have reminded me, that we all like to feel our time is appreciated. And I've found myself sending out the appreciation vibes all day today to people responding to me on forums and even my husband is getting a bigger helping of appreciation today. [g] So good job, posting this today!

I don't think it is so much a case of intentionally marginalizing the gardening discussions as it is displeasure at the changes and problems that pop up constantly with trying to merge the two platforms together that has chased many long time posters off. Many have decamped to Facebook and other sites that seem to be easier to navigate although I have seen nothing that comes close to the quality of gardening information still available here on GW. The UBC forums come close but as good as they are, they don't match GW. NGS or Dave's are very distant thirds :-)

Hit and run posters have always been an issue here but are the easiest to overlook. I could go into a long rant about other peevish practices - does anyone know how to do basic research anymore or must they all be handfed information? - but the one thing that seems to be more prevalent recently than in all the years I have been participating here is the unpleasant tone of many of the posts. . Dismissive and condescending, often bullying, sometimes rude. And mostly from those that think their way is the only right way (and who are very often way off the mark!!). Not sure if this is due to Covid and isolation or just that many are so used to interacting only via social media that they have forgotten - or never learned - how to communicate successfully in polite society.

prairie, you know what I'm talking about :-))

gardengal - I know what you are talking about! I remember a post where the poster attacked you for giving an honest and correct answer. When I read the response to your response it made me cringe. You are right, there are people here and everywhere that unfortunately do not know how to have a civil and polite conversation. It is okay to disagree, but it shouldn't turn into an online fight!

Every gardener finds what works best for them. I like being here because there is something to learn from everyone.

PS yes, I know about the other gardening forums out there, This is the only site I've ever participated on. Thanks again for all of your replies!!

I think (being guilty), it's a lot of things that cause that reaction from people that do respond.

1) Good god, can't you do research versus asking to be spoonfed, when this topic has been beat to death 20 times already in this forum and forty more times in easily searchable internet content.

2) Could they put enough detail in to actually allow anyone to answer with any certainty? Or WHAT on earth do they want (we've all seen posts like that)?
3 ) Stated above: hit and run and never come back...so why should I bother either?

4) Also above, not the answer they wanted?

Due to things like these, my politeness has left the house (a long time ago). It will only resurface when people act like they're grateful and helpful in kind, rather than expecting they're OWED something, my god, it's like they think we're paid to help them. I think I've became nasty till proven nice. (innocent,guilty etc).

I have a number of friends that I have made here and maintain.

I do agree with GG (in most things actually...surprisingly), that this is still the best gardening resource I'm aware of. I often wonder if I should just walk away because of my bad attitude, but it's hard to do so.

With gardening environments being so diverse, it should be a given understanding (stated somewhere in the Big Book of Rules) that all gardening advise is based on the predication that it works for me like this here. Frankly, you can't even make an absolute determination if a plant will thrive in sun or shade, because of all the variables. However, if it were actually boiled down to a science, imagine the mind-boggling equation!

As it is, much of gardening is more of an art than a science and based on prior experience.

Jeb, I've had a couple people here give me their word and promise me seeds that I desperately wanted, only to realize when the time came they never really intended to keep their promise ( white flowering common milkweed, hello! 😡😥). But I've met other friends here who have happily shared and traded with me, so I wouldn't stop seeking trades or sharing just because of a few bad apples here. I wasn't here when Spike was in charge, so I really don't know what that was like. Me being in the Name That Plant forum,I get used to people never following up with feedback or thanks, it's common over there, but overall most of the people seeking answers are kind and do show gratitude. Over at facebook I get a lot more responses for anything I say, and they have a number of different emotion emogies for various responses, like, love, anger, sadness, I care, wow.👍❤😡😢💓😲 Here at gardenweb most of the time if someone has a like, and I try to give them a second like , I can't give them an additional like, instead houzz just shows me the member who gave the first like, so pretty messed up software, and a person only gets 1 or two likes when maybe 20, 30 people actually liked what they said. I'm very much into milkweeds, ascleps, and it's frustrating when people show up in that forum seeking trades, and they show up 1 time and then dissappear forever, and always have no messaging set up and there's no way to ever reach them. That is now a dead forum btw. Thankfully I'm part of a much bigger milkweed group at facebook that includes many former gardenweb members. I'm so grateful my milkweed friends invited me to join them and we're all together and have grown much closer at the new location. Perhaps people wouldn't be so cold and standoffish here, if they had to use their real names instead of hiding behind a screen name? Now people are not even selecting a screen name and just being a generic number? I think it was about a week ago, houzz was doing something in the wee hours of the morning and the whole site was down and inaccessible, and I thought wow it's finally happened, it's down for good lol. I find the National Gardening Association hard to navigate, not very exciting, and their Plant ID Forum a nightmare with totally awful, grainy photo quality. I still don't understand why so many gw members are so opposed to trying facebook, as if it's evil incarnate or something. As far as learning and meeting other like minded people it's unsurpassed. The problem over there is getting too close to people and the problems that go along with that 💔. Yeah they allow swearing and a few things you don't see here, but that's the way real life is and none of us can escape real life. Jeb, I'm sorry you got burned here so bad that you gave up sharing and trading completely. I have more than a dozen close friends here at gw that I share and trade with. When people here don't thank me or acknowledge my help, I don't let it bother me, because I still did the right thing by helping them, and how sad that they don't have the common courtesy or inclination to give feedback or show gratitude. I'm seeking more in depth conversation here with other members, but it doesn't happen very often. It kind of bugs me how many people don't activate their messaging, like they don't want to get to know anyone else here? I like excitement, I like adventures. There's been a few people here on gw that live close to me, but there seems to be some invisible barrier keeping us forever separated. My closest friends here at gw live too far away to get together with, unless I take a vacation. I'm meeting a lot of like minded people on facebook that I'm planning on meeting in person for real, and there are no barriers there preventing it. It's a great feeling! I'm seeing the big picture and no longer limited to the opinions expressed here. As an example, I was told by members here that I shouldn't try growing Lycopodiums because they were impossible to cultivate, but I've found out it is possible and quite easy if you know how to do it. I had a good friend here for awhile and I wanted to get more out of it and trade with him, but he remained standoffish, like he didn't trust me and thought maybe I might stalk him or something lol, so I just looked around and took a chance with someone one else and that person became a great friend and trading partner. It's a shame you have a plant oriented background, but feel stifled about sharing it with others here. Some of my friends have left gardenweb completely for fb, and some of them and me are still at both places. I do like gw, and it's kind of a safe zone for me too, but if it was all I had, it wouldn't be enough. I remember climbing the walls waiting and hoping for a new comment to happen and everything seemingly frozen solid here in winter, before I joined fb. Would also be nice if people could let us know when they decide to leave here for good, so we at least have some closure and an understanding of their reasons for leaving, but most of the time they just simply disappear, I guess because they feel like the people here don't at all care about what happens to them anyway. I've tried Dave's Garden, and the NGA, and both sites are hard to navigate and less exciting than gardenweb. I do know this one guy who has left gardenweb. He was just basically in the Name That Plant Forum. He has relocated to I naturalist, and in his brief 2 years or so over there, he's identified nearly 30.000 plants already, so it sounds like i nat is heaven for him. I'm so proud of his accomplishments. Follow your heart. I find most everyone here in perennials to be kind, friendly, and gracious. They more than make up for the ones that don't show common courtesy. Can't say the same about annuals haha. Thanks for speaking your mind! I love sharing my experience to help others and also to discuss in more detail with others having similar experiences.

For the most part, I've had very good interactions, some such as Rogue and a few others having made personal enjoyable visits! Contacts come and go, though some lingering and there's been a fair bit of plant swapping going on at times. Though, there has been the strange and unusual as well. One local lady had been interested in the waterlilies I had been selling of which were very reasonably priced of less than 1/2 that of retail. Though, the well dressed woman heavily adorned with what appeared to be expensive jewelry, she just stood there pathetically humming and hawing over friggin $15.00 plants! She then began eyeing up a very large tub grown specimen heavy in flower, the particular waterlily would have easily gone for minimum $75.00 retail ... oh, she wanted it, I told her $30.00 ... no reaction, it was a warm afternoon and I was becoming rather internally irritated with her taking up my time, that I just said "Fine, how about I just give all these plants for free!", ... well, since apparently she only had money for clothing, fingernail polish and jewelry! Then, the hagasaurus appeared all happy as punch not having dropped a single cent and walking away with what must have been $200.00 retail. I only had requested that she update me as to how her new plants were doing, though she hadn't even replied to my email, what a piece of work she was!

Then, there was an ongoing little scenario with another lady that was just wayyy off the charts, I mean I had to tell her to leave the property for the despicable things she was uttering, which had included attempting to use my young deceased sister as a spiritual pawn in the ladies demented attempt to get her hooks into me, I so easily had seen through it all! Boy, life never does get terribly boring does it!

Wow, 2 great comments after mine and houzz won't let me give either of you a like. Frozebud, please don't give anything away free to those people who are undeserving again, throwing your pearl's before swine. I haven't met anyone from gw in person, though I do try to get to know people and screen them a bit before any real face to face and hopefully thus avoid any awkward situations. Great pic Jeb, I find that those of us who were very interested in plants at a young age to be the most passionate about them later in life. We're also about the same age.

I joined Gardenweb about 9 years ago..I've learned a lot here..like many others I dislike the change to Houzz..I put likes on every comment in this post!..I have the same thoughts..we have good participation in the hosta forum but have lost members..we miss them..I tried Dave's Garden but didn't like it as well as GW..I'm not as active on GW as I was years ago..

FrozeBudd..I agree with Jay..rude people don't deserve beautiful plants..I've noticed that lots of gardeners now seem to think plants and seeds should be absolutely free..no offers to exchange anything..no seeds or plants or money!.. this lack of common courtesy goes along with Jeb's post..people aren't thoughtful enough to say "thank you" or respond to someone's comment..

Jeb, I think you stole my photo and photoshopped your face over mine, lol. Wasn't it a magical time growing up and loving, plants, flowers and seed starting! My first love was the bright big red amaryllis mom had sitting upon the tv set. Later, I was so fascinated with starting seeds within those little petri dishes of sterile grow gel ... oh, and the local hardware store having an assortment of cacti, I was enamored!

Jeb, Jay and Nicholsworth, the good much outweighs the bad in my experience, though yes, the rude really do get under my skin and mostly I let it be known, lol. Oh, as for letting go of the waterliles for free, normally I would have stood my ground and said "Take it or leave it!", though I had decided to close out the bit of a business I had going ... but, yes, I was much too generous with that particular lady! Another matter that came to bite me was allowing an acquaintance to utilize some garden space for the summer. The fellow was very blunt and at times would point and say "Why don't you give me this, why don't you give me that!" ... so, I'd pick a single leaf from a plant and say "There you go!'. lol. He purchased 20 small tomato transplants, that I ended up having to plant for him, as he just had no comprehension and was handling the little thigs like rag dolls. Later, I told him that in order to get good production in our short summers, he must prune them and I demonstrated how to do so and then requested he begin working on the rest. Well, I truly could not believe, but get this, he started crying, I mean a big tall 42 year old man standing pout crying in the tomato patch, he simply did not wish to do the pruning, it's certainly not as if I had asked him to clear rocks piles from a 40 acre field! Yes, I ended up pruning all those tomato plants myself, though all for not, as in 2010, late blight had struck the region a hard blow and every last one of our tomato plants had turned black and melted away! I let him know with a phone conversation and he accused me of intentionally killing his plants, I said "Yes, as if I'd kill all of mine as well, like really!" The next year I declined his request for garden space!

FrozeBudd..I was at my nephew's house when his wife's grandfather came over..it was mid May and he brought them a few canna rhizomes? tubers? (terms confuse me Lol)..he gave him some instructions on how to plant them..I asked my nephew several times "how are they doing?"..the answer was "didn't plant them yet"..he never did..I felt he figured "they were free..I'm busy..no big deal"..and my nephew's a nice person!..actually very sweet..have you ever wondered if people don't appreciate something that was free as much as something they paid for?..

In the canna situation I can see the other side. If plants are not asked for or the giver didn’t check first, the gift, however generously intended, becomes an imposition on the receiver. You are putting them under pressure to take some action which they may just not want, or be able, to do.

I was given a large pack of mixed varieties of vegetable seeds this Christmas by my SIL. It was a generous gift and she clearly believed she’d got me something fantastic, given my interests. However, they are virtually useless to me for various reasons, so I am stuck with wondering what I’ll say if she asks how they’re growing. Do I spend time, space and money sowing lot of seeds which I didn’t ask for, which I know won’t thrive in my conditions, or which I already had, just so as not to hurt her feelings?

Floral - maybe you could start just a few of the vegetable seeds and then offer the young plants back to your sister in law. Tell her that you appreciate the gift but don't have the room to grow them to maturity. Impress upon her that you want to find them good homes - if she can't grow them on ask her to find them homes! Then maybe she would understand the responsibility (and garden space) that is involved.

Nicholsworth if it was my nephew I would have taken him outside with a shovel and the canna roots and told him where and how to plant them. And no, people do not feel the same about things that were given to them versus things that they have paid for. Especially plants for some reason.

FrozeBudd - the tomato blight hit me that year too - I had about 30 tomato plants that were full of green fruit, some of the nicest I had ever grown! In about two weeks all of my plants and fruit turned into a black slimy mess. That was the summer I stood in the vegetable garden and cried too -

Thanks again to everyone that shared their experiences. I have really enjoyed hearing from you.

Yep, it's been an interesting thread, and we took it all over the place.

Unless I know it's wanted, I've never offered plants to others. I'm more than happy to share though, if asked (and if it's possible...if someone asked about (for example) a crinum or a palm, I'd have to explain it's impossible or it's too difficult to dig, never had to do that yet). I've made a number of friends here sharing/trading, and learned something (for instance the florida swampland native coreopsis palustris can grow successfully in Michigan, though you'll only see flowers if the frost is late) by trading.

Yes, very interesting. My experience here has been extremely positive for the most part. If regulars do not respond when any of us have given a reply I do find it a bit rude but we don't know what is going on in their lives.

This is the only forum I have ever been on and it truly does seem like a community. The wealth of knowledge is incredible. I find it stimulating hearing others experiences since we all garden under different conditions.

I feel for those of you that have had bad experiences. I had a friend criticize a stranger that would not give her a piece of a plant she was dividing. I had to shake my head at her sense of entitlement. It gives me pleasure to share when it is my choice.

I have been lucky enough to develop personal interaction with some members here. Marvelous place to be.

I'm hoping my response in a different direction is read and acknowledged because I might have to apologize for past actions.

I started learning to garden on GW in the mid-2000s and the New England GW members get all the credit. Can't say enough about the influence of GW back then for me.

Not-full disclosure: Now I am gardening in a different place. A couple of years ago I came out of a very dark time. You don't come out of a dark time overnight, so there are periods where I have been able to just focus on what's ahead. Things are, however, much better now.

I a probably one of those people who didn't respond. If anybody on this forum gave me helpful advice and I ignored you, I send my DEEPEST apologies. This winter I have been especially absent as my duties here temporarily increased ten-fold, and even summer on the forum took a herculean effort. I am now training two employees, so my future finally looks to be back to "normal" soon. I would love to send you a personal apology if I didn't thank you for posts.

Some of you stand out for the never-failing thoughtful posts. Gardengal, you are always willing to share your fount of knowledge, and I have seen some of your posts unjustifiably attacked, even though they were thoughtful and factual. Prairiemoon, I have NEVER seen somebody take so much time to thoughtfully respond to EVERY SINGLE comment on your threads. I know it takes a great deal of time, but it is appreciated! NHBabs and the other ladies on the NE forum are generous with information that could fill books. floral uk must be a professional him/herself with the displayed knowledge, as well. Garden_ho and rouge, thank you for being a driver on the forum and keeping threads happening. Digger_dee, I'm so glad you "came back" because your posts are always fun to read. There are SO SO MANY MORE that could be mentioned. Jeb, I will be followed you since you're practically a neighbor!

So, that brings up the "Like" and "Follow" stuff. I've been bad at doing both because I'm just now figuring out how it's useful. I tend to dash on here and skim in a huge hurry, and I need to do more "liking" to all the stuff I really do like. when I started this thread I was only following two people, and one is permanently gone by her choice.

Thirdly, sometimes people just need to vent. Occasionally there have been posts that started some type of back-and-forth conflict. But, life can get pretty daggum hard, and I hope any of you could vent on the forum without hurting feelings. You never know; one person's volatile posts could really be the overflow of something totally different happening in their life. We are sanitized from what poster's real worlds look like.

Lastly, I have been amazed at how many first-timers posts for design help, etc., and never respond to pages of responses. On the flip side, I am amazed at how many regulars keep posting information, advice, and help to those same threads when the original poster hasn't said a word after their initial post. Because my time is short and I'm not sure the original poster is even reading anything, I do not respond to the "help me with..." posts that have a picture of an entire landscape project until the original poster is responding to suggestions (assuming I even have anything helpful to share).

To summarize, I am sorry and would love apologize if I have taken you for granted!

Deanna - it is okay - all is well! You summed it all up very well. We don't know what is going on in anyone's life at any given time. I have had the thought that posters here sometimes didn't respond because of what was going on in their life or that the responses given sounded a little off or even angry because someone was having a bad day - or going through a dark period. (I have been there myself.) We all need to vent sometimes - my original post above sounded a little cranky to me after I re read it and then thought about deleting it!

I mentioned that I work for a seed company. The customers that I usually talk to are not happy because they didn't get the results they thought they should have. Believe me, most people do not want to take any responsibility for failures! I have had people yell and hang up the phone on me - it doesn't phase me because as I always tell them, I am here to help and if you take my help and advice you should be successful in the future.

Glad to hear your are in a better place now Deanna. This morning I heard the Red Winged Blackbirds singing for the first time this year - that tells me that spring is not too far away!! THAT makes me feel A LOT better!!

Have a wonderful day.

What a nice thread, perfect for this kind of dark morning where spring is in the air but not quite into the ground yet!

I guess I'm the odd one out here, since a lack of a thank you rarely bothers me, but I do get more bothered by not knowing how things turn out. Those hit and run posters where you think a few people have given excellent advice to, but then disappear without a word, just confuse me and make me curious as to whats going on. Maybe it's just a symptom of this scatterbrain online world we live in where once it scrolls off the screen it almost instantly vanishes from your mind.

GW is a far cry from what it used to be, but I keep coming back since it's still imo the best forum for discussions and searchable gardening information. The NGA site is just too messy for me and other forums are just too slow. Fortunately this one keeps hanging on!

I understand some people are just vehemently against FB but I enjoy checking in there as well. If you really want to talk to the experts it's the place to go, but most of the more in-depth discussions happen outside of the posts. Yes there's a lot of misinformation there, but in the more specialized groups it's quickly squelched.

I just don't understand things like Instagram and snapchat. If you don't want anything deeper than a picture and a few people who click a like icon to make you feel important, well I guess that's the way to go.

I'm also guilty of giving plants to anyone who shows an interest, even the undeserving. There's zero chance of me ever making money off it lol, but I do have a policy of never asking about plants once they move on... unless I suspect it died and they might feel too guilty to ask for another... and I eventually figure out and have no patience for the people who over-ask or turn into 'takers'. On the other hand I'm really picky about what I give space to so when someone drops something off or shoves a cutting into my hand it usually goes into a spot where it dies a slow death or never takes. Life's too short to grow plants out of guilt!

Jeb- your picture with the orchid was the best thing I saw online yesterday :)

Jeb, I read NOTHING cranky in your post! If anything, I appreciate it because it reminds me to treat others' responses with respect, so nothing but thanks here! You get a gold medal for dealing with yelling customers, too! That's no fun.

As for FB, I don't do it for my normal life, but the main aggravation I have with things like gardening is the inability to search for posts, responses, etc. I tried referencing the wintersowing FB page, and it was a rapidly changing site where I couldn't find a post I had wanted to see that was just from the day before, etc. All I could really see were the latest posts, which equated to about what had posted within an hour. Has FB changed and made it easier to find info?

katob, still love the blog!

Funny instagram, snapchat "story": Last summer I decided I was going to get with it, and figure out those two things. Everybody else, like my teenagers, has fun with it, right? Some of my favorite gardening personalities have sites. I gathered up all the gumption I could get, signed in, and immediately befriended every contact they suggested on one of those apps. I can't even remember which one it was. The next week a friend of my 16-yo told him, "Hey, your mom friended me on <name the app>. Not cool." Cracked me up. I told him to let his friend know I'll probably never open the app again anyway.

Side note: I love the correct grammar on the posts, too. You all are "da bomb"! Am I the only one grateful I'm not reading tons of posts from people who either don't know or don't care? We all make mistakes, but sometimes my brain explodes when I read other forums.

floral..I admit I didn't consider the other side..there was plenty of room for the cannas..their yard was a blank slate..I was embarrassed that he didn't plant them when his wife's grandfather was so kind to offer them..plants mean so much to me that I overreact when people don't appreciate them..

Jeb..my nephew had just purchased this house..his wife's grandfather was there to help him work on the locks on the doors..my nephew invited us to come see the house..I just thought of this..on that day he probably didn't even have a shovel..you're right..I should've offered to help him later..even now he's clueless about plants..and his wife isn't a gardener either..
here's an interesting tidbit..as an anniversary present years later his wife's grandparents gave them a tree..and they paid the nursery to plant it!..

Nicholsworth, sounds like those cannas were more than doomed to begin with! Maybe, there's still hope, my brother is now only getting into gardening and actually appreciating such at the age of 60! I've been guilty myself at times of intentionally killing gifted plants, ooops! Years ago, when only in my late teenage years, someone had gotten drift of my passion for roses and had dropped by with a big box of very hardy non repeat blooming roses. I recall the person being in a hurry and just really saying these will sucker quite a bit for you. Mmmm, at the time I was just getting into hybrid teas and floribundas and well those old "wild" roses didn't much interest me! I placed that big box of prickly rose stems out of sight and never planted them! Whoever had made the drop off, I always had hoped they'd never again come by to inquire of the roses, lol!

This past summer while COVID numbers remained very low in my region of Canada, a buddy had stopped by with a good deal of plants, he goes on hardy orchid rescues and had some interesting ones to pass along ... yes, please and thank you! The clivias, streptocarpus leaves for propagation and a streptocarpella full in bloom were all welcomed. Some diminutive things and others not being so attractive, these I granted little love and well! I generally give to others plants they have requested or had eyeing up upon visits here and only being disappointed if they end up killing something rare or slow to propagate.

FrozeBudd.. so you're confessing to your own "I didn't plant the roses someone gave me"..Lol!..nobody's perfect..is it better to politely accept an unwanted plant and not plant it..or tell them "no thank you I don't want it" to their face..that's hard to do when they're standing in front of you with the plants..

I bet the cannas were an impulse gift..say Grandpa was planting some himself..he's going to their house and thinks I'll give some to K & M for their new home..K has asked my opinion on a few things but in general gardening takes a backseat to other activities..they really are a wonderful couple..just don't offer any plants unless you provide the labor to plant them Lol..

Jen, I can’t give my SIL plants as she lives at the other end of the country. Besides she bought herself the same pack despite having no garden. I’m not going to sow any of the seeds. I don’t have the time, space or inclination to sow a bunch of stuff I can’t. My own seed order came weeks ago and I have exactly what I need and have room for.

Btw deanna, I’m not a professional. I’m just interested in plants.

The conflicts, expectations, bad advice and questionable assertions have been here the whole time. The main problem these days is the slowness, that is the lack of enough traffic to reward frequent visits.

I would not be surprised at any time to see GW simply disappear off the Houzz website. You're right about low traffic.

My reason for (sometimes) not acknowledging answers is that I use two devices, a laptop snd an iPhone. The phone requires me to log in with a password I don’t know because I chose the random one recommended by gw when I once was on my laptop..

That said, I think you all know how much I appreciate and benefit from the advice you all have given me in the eight years since I began my garden in the Hudson Valley and stumbled on gw. I am not bothered by the questioners who disappear because good questions produce good threads that benefit all of us. For the same reason I’m not put off by diversions. I do miss the frequent contributors who seem to have disappeared. Campanula? Yardvark? I’d hate to think I’ll lose others of you forever if you go. It would feel like being ghosted.

Camps is gone...but not gone, she was banned (I have no idea for what), But anyway, she came back as a new id. I don't remember the name. I'm also not sure I saw her after the one post though :(

I remember a Bellflower that posted once and was gone again. I miss the humor!