My experience is just dates but I come from a somewhat dysfunctional family so probably not applicable to your situation

What did you choose for your father’s? I think you might want them to be similar.

In the cemetery where my family is buried it is common to put (at the bottom of the tombstone) Loving parents of Laura, Tom and Susan. If you are just wanting something for your mother's side here are some I found online. (I'm killing time trying to schedule a Covid vaccine for someone who doesn't stay up this late.)

A beautiful soul

Loving wife, mother, grandmother

Fondly loved and deeply mourned

Greatly loved and sadly missed

To know her was to love her

The happiness of others was her joy

In our hearts forever

Or were you wanting a funny or clever epithet like the one you referred to above?

On my side we cremate and the ashes are in a family columbarium In North Carolina. DH and I will be there, or in our church columbarium here. His side has a family plot in Alabama at a tiny rural church where his paternal forebears lie. Gravestones there range from names and dates to names dates and ”Beloved” to identification plus a statue of an angel , etc. I always thought those heavy angels were there to keep the dead where they

belonged 😎 No especially pithy comments or epitaphs in either of our families. We are well behaved and boring even unto death.

My Mum wants “I told you I was sick” on her headstone.

Confession,I kind of have a thing for old cemeteries. I love epitaphs. They are so evocative. I love a good snippet of a poem, particularly. Just this past weekend, my son and I met up in a coastal ct. town and happened on a cemetery and I came across a lovely stone that bore Whitman’s “ Now voyager sail thou forth to seek and find.” How lovely!

The cemetery with my husband‘s relatives has many headstones with specialized engravings for hobbies or interests or jobs, I guess. Near his grandparents there are engravings of a bag of M&M’s, a race car, and an 18-wheeler truck. My inlaws have a heart shaped stone with entwined wedding rings. My FIL wasn’t particularly nice to my MIL in the 25 years I knew him, so I wonder why they’re pushing the marriage angle but I guess someone in that family needs to see it.

His uncle’s headstone isn’t finished yet (3.5 years later) but the whole thing will be a train track and have train cars on it. I can’t wait to see it, it’s sounds so bizarre. His surviving husband doesn’t have two nickels to rub together but choose this elaborate set up. People are funny.

My dad's side of the family are all buried together and have the same flat stones with the family name and the individuals' names... nothing more personal but it it is special that they are all together. When my brother is in town, he likes to "go for a beer" with Dad, uncle and granddad.

My maternal grandparents are buried in the military cemetery with just a marker. We did spread some of their ashes in a local stream where my grandmother would sit and read as my grandfather fished. We had ceremonies at both locations-- we released his ashes with trout hatchlings and hers with a daisy chain.

I'm sorry to hear about your mother, mtnrdredux. I searched for epitaphs and wasted a good 10 minutes on this Unforgettable epitaphs link - not what you are looking for but quite the mix! My father, who is 93, unveiled his tombstone in the family plot around 15 years ago, with a family get-together. We all traveled to see it - a different experience, but one which still makes us all smile. Rainy day, and I bought a bunch of colorful golf umbrellas at the local Walmart - great pictures :)

I like the idea of selecting (or amending) an epitaph that used to make you both smile.

When we were designing my MIL's gravestone, we added a dog paw impression. She was an animal lover, especially dogs, and it suited her.

I am so sorry about your mother too. Whatever you choose will be the right thing.

My walks take me through an old cemetery and almost all just have names and dates. What really annoys me are the very old ones that say the man’s name and the woman’s says Wife. Some say Beloved wife, son, whatever.

My crazy Father and and his much younger wife have a picture of,their dog engraved on their headstone and this: ”It was great while it lasted”. She, unfortunately, died at age 55.

I would do something similar to what you did for your dad.

I should have added--- that I love the idea of something personal and special between you would be very nice. Would that put off your siblings?

I'm sorry about your mom. :( I also think doing something similar to your father's would be best. What's on his headstone? Maybe we could help.

Out in Terlingua again, and I love the descriptive headstones out here. Not that you'd want to do anything like this, but I do appreciate how these evoke lovely images of the departed.

OK so I don't know what I was thinking originally, or if they did it wrong, but what I put on the stone when my Dad passed is this "Deeply loved and dearly missed." It goes all the way across horizontally, as you can imagine. I can't recall if I intended it to be the only thing other than names. Which would be nice.

The problem is, and I don't know why this is so, is that the phrase is engraved along the bottom. It is almost like a footnote. There is a lot of empty space between names and the bottom. If this were in Word (LOL), I would add my Mom's details on the right, and move that phrase to be centered in the negative space below the names.

So for all intents and purposes, I am sort of ignoring what is there and trying to figure out what to put in the empty space. I could add something under my Dad's side and something under my Mom's, or span both.

I would not suggest something unless all 3 of us were happy with it, but I think we are all on the same page. They both really liked my eulogy and obituary for her.

I have to look for a pic; my brother sent me a video. (!)

Ida, OMG thanks for those pictures. And enjoy your triip!

As you surmised, I don't know if we'd be quite that emotive, but to be honest the more I think about it the more I want something more than names and dates.

To give you an idea, when my father passed away, my Mom briefly considered "Take him and cut him out in little stars,
And he will make the face of heaven so fine
That all the world will be in love with night
And pay no worship to the garish sun," which was suggested by my DH (but written by others ; ) )

You can see we opted for something a tad simpler.

I am sorry about your Mom, Mtn. My Mom chose the headstone when my Dad passed. No epitaph, just names and dates.

I think my Dad may have designed the world's most complicated headstone for himself and my mother. It has an icon at the top for the family last name, and an icon for both of my parents next to their names. For my Mom, it was easy, she was a librarian so I used the official "Library" icon you see on road signs, etc. For my Dad it was a little more difficult, bu in the end we settled on a graphic of an "I" bar, which is how the end of a steel beam looks, the serif capital "I." Dad was in the steel business. Then, three or four words that summed up each person under their name. We had to do Mom's posthumously, so we chose: "Wife, mother, teacher, librarian, world traveler." She had other loves, but those were the most prominent. For my Dad I think it is: "Husband, father, metals merchant, sailor." He also gets an Army icon for his service, so we didn't need to add that other part of his life that was so important.

I did all that because the only thing my Mother ever said about what to do after she died is she didn't want to be cremated and she wanted a marker somewhere noting that she had been part of a community somewhere and had mattered . . .

One of the headstones in the cemetery is engraved "The lake will never be the same without him." Or something like that. Some people engraved longer sayings on the back of the headstones. I might do that someday, but its not a priority.

Mt., I didn't know about your mom. I am so sorry. It's so hard to lose our parents. :(

As for gravestones, my grandparents have a family 6-plot with a large stone in the middle. Just names and dates are on each side. There son is buried on the other side and his wife is still living, so her info is not completed. One plot will not be used. They had a baby die just after birth, who is in the 5th plot. My parents and my in-laws have the 2-plot with a headstone as is pretty normal around here. We just had the veteran's footstone placed for my dad. Whether we are cremated or not, we will have a grave at a cemetary. It it very common around here for cremated remains to be placed in a regular grave, although you can have two containers (such as husband and wife) placed in one grave plot, if you wish.

I am so sorry to hear about your mom. What a rotten year 2020 was. Just to clarify, is the headstone a single stone for both your mom and dad? So the "deeply loved and dearly missed" (which is perfect, btw,) could visually apply to both? I'm not sure how to fill the empty space but I do love this line from a poem by Rumi that begins:

“The moment I heard my first love story
I started looking for you..."

To me, that line would be magical for the right couple.

On an entirely different note, when I was a little kid, our neighbor died, leaving behind ten kids. She was a feisty woman and very witty. Here is what her headstone said and how it took 30 years to finish the quote.

No suggestions, just sending thoughts on the loss of your Mom...such a hard thing to go through.

I've always thought I want this Robert Lewis Stevenson quote on my husband's tombstone, if I should survive him:

Home is the sailor, home from sea

He loves the ocean and being in the water beyond anything else; watching him swim or dive is like watching a fish in the grace and ease with which he moves about.

I've never thought about what I'd want on mine!

Jojoco, that is quite something!

I will try to mock up a photo, but right now I am packing for our Easter break. No rush; it's almost a year already.

It's interesting to read what some people have done!

I did some looking and I like these...

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And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance. (Kahlil Gibran)

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Time passes, love remains

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Like stars to their appointed height they climb (Keats)

So sorry to hear about your mother Mtn. I had no idea. It must have been a difficult year. Hugs.

Sorry to hear about your mother, Mtn.

No suggestions, but I do like Annie's last post.

Just a thought, deeply loved and dearly missed applies to both parents....Would there be a visual that would represent your mom? Such as a flower she particularly enjoyed?

My daughter and I brainstormed for way too long but were happy with what we came up with for my husband who died at 56. Celebrating his Irish heritage and the quote is a little song he would sing out for no reason. Meaningful to me and my kids.

To tag on to what Pat said, it took us over a year to come up with my Mom's headstone. She died in Feb. and we were barely able to get her buried on a subzero icy day. Summer was too early for us to wrap our brains around it. We finally did something the following summer. Spent quite a bit of time trying to figure out the design. So don't rush yourself would be some advice I would give. We ended up with a lovely ceremony at the cemetery eventually for my mom. Hugs to you as you travel this journey . . .

So sorry to heat about your mom. Our family doesn’t have anything too exciting on the headstones; beloved mom or such. Love the inspiration found in this thread. I am sure you will find the perfect one for your mom here or somewhere else.

My mom also passed last year, her ashes will eventually be buried wih her husband in Arlington. I am thinking we do not get to add any epitah, otherwise I would love to find something related to parties or roses, my moms two passions. Sadly we have still not had her memorial service, hoping for later this year.

Here' Mom and Dad's headstone. An example of going a bit overboard with the engraved icons . . . but I don't mind. I often leave a sticker on it when I visit from her university alma mater . . . Added to show the rose for Jill. Now I see that we didn't put mother and wife on there. That was her coffin arrangement ribbons. Well wife is pretty obvious, and since my ashes will go there eventually, mother will also be included.

Mtn, I’m so sorry to hear of your Mom’s passing. Please accept my condolences.

I am sorry for the loss of your mom, Mtn. That stone is lovely.

It's beautiful.. beloved husband, father, grandfather is what I wanted to put on my dad's plate but I was told they were to all be the same (for all family members).

Thinking of you as the anniversary approaches <3