Blue blazers are somewhat of a uniform for the men in my world. One of my sons calls that garment, The jacket of instant style. My boys get their first blue blazer shortly before middle school.

Same here, Zalco. For me, that look, especially at a summer wedding, evokes New England

@Zalco/bring back Sophie! @jojoco Gotcha! Obviously a location/regional thing! Not that you wouldn't see a blue blazer here, but more variety.

Yeah ... responses will likely vary widely by region. What's considered "appropriate" on the east coast is likely to be something quite different than what you might see in the southwest. For some, it's the blue blazer. For others, jeans and boots are perfectly acceptable.

Navy blazers are def the uniform in my town also. trousers, jeans, ubiquitous khakis or even shorts might accompany it.

Not sure which oart of the country you’re in and whether it’s a daytime affair. Here in the south, seer sucker suits are popular summer wedding attires for men among the young/hip as well as the old/conventional. They’re not exactly inexpensive nor are they considered cheap. You’ll find articles like Like this one from GQ, and this and similar magazines. Here are a few:

oh i agree a blazer iis appropriate for a formal wedding, i meant you wouldnt see a sea if blue ones here, but a variety of colors/patterns.

Here in my part of the east coast, formal weddings, always held in the evening, call for either a tuxedo or a dark suit. In fact, I've never even been to a daytime wedding, but will next summer when our daughter gets married in California. I'm looking forward to a slightly more casual (but no jeans!) celebration.

@bookwoman, I'm afraid I've mislead you! My apologies, I think I read formal attire somewhere in the thread (or I dreamed it???!!!), but from the OP I see it is "summer cocktail" attire. It is a mountain venue. I like whoever suggested a pretty dress for the women and a sport coat, trousers and no tie for the men. I've never had an invitation that said "summer cocktail" so I'm thinking similar to casual dressy?

I've never been to a wedding formal enough for male guests to wear tuxedos (only the wedding party, officiant, etc.). But yes, an evening wedding (depending on venue and what bride/groom want) would ordinarily be a suit. Evening weddings seem to be more popular here in the fall/winter, with lots of afternoon (particularly 4:00 pm) weddings in the spring/summer.

This has been an interesting thread!

Ya know, I havent been to an indoor traditional wedding in years. I guess no one does that any more. DH has a nice linen jacket and lots of dress pants and dress shirts he hasnt worn in years. I’ll poke around in the archives and pick out a nice combo. It wont be a navy jacket and khaki pants. He’s too unconventional to wear what the masses are wearing.

Its interesting to see someone who wore suits and ties to work for years now wearing shorts to work. It took him awhile to come to that but he finally realized when you own the company you can set the standard for attire. He’s very respectful of events like weddings though and has no problem complying with the requested attire.

This conversation reminds me of an event that we went to every year for my husband's work. It was an awards dinner to honor outstanding employees of the company - from warehouse workers to the marketing department. Each regional manager named winners for their area. This is a Pacific Northwest Company, and the event alternated between Seattle and Portland. I'll never forget one year when the dinner was held in Seattle. One of the winners from our area seemed to be AWOL when the dinner started. We were all a bit worried that he had spent too much time at the bar. But when his moment came to accept his award he went up to the podium wearing jeans and an obviously brand new white Hanes or Fruit-of-the Loom T-shirt - you could tell from the tell-tale fold lines in the shirt where it had wrapped around the cardboard in the package. Thank God he was wearing a Seattle Seahawks hat!

“Blue blazers are somewhat of a uniform for the men in my world. One of my sons calls that garment, The jacket of instant style. My boys get their first blue blazer shortly before middle school.”

Here, too Zalco, although mine got their first Little Imp navy blazer and gray flannel trousers for the first day of school in first grade. It never occurred to me that in other parts of the country this is considered either too formal or attire for the masses. 😎

Lots of people here get married indoors in churches, which still has a somewhat civilizing effect on attire. Admittedly wedding attire varies widely by region, type of venue, solemnity of occasion, ethnicity, nationality and religion, but I think most people know instinctively what is appropriate. If they’ve dressed totally wrong for the occasion it is more likely deliberate, than clueless.

@User - maybe its a regional thing or you have more refined friends and relatives than I do. In the last few years I’ve attended three outdoor resort weddings, one beach resort wedding in the Dominican, two farm turned wedding venue weddings and one zoom wedding that would otherwise have been an outdoor rustic resort wedding. As it was the wedding took place in the woods along side a river. All of my generation got married in a church. All their kids get married somewhere else.

Men instantly look better in a navy blazer*. Yes, it is sharp paired with a blue or white button down shirt and just the right shade of khakis, which my DH disparagingly calls "the uniform." DH has a winter weight navy blazer, a summer navy blazer, and my fave, a cashmere navy blazer that is soooo soft. DS got his first navy blazer at age 5, and looked smashing in it and a white cotton turtleneck, with his sunny blonde hair. I love it when Kindergarteners wear "business casual."

DH likes seersucker for summer events, and he has a blue seerscuker blazer and also a grey seersucker suit.

The other day I was out shopping and I thought I'd get my DH a few more summer shirts. He wears a lot of pique polo shirts, but when it is very hot he likes a cotton button down. Sometimes, gasp, with short sleeves (sometimes long sleeves rolled up, a look i love with shorts and Sperrys).

So, anyway, I walk in Brooks Brothers and ask "do you have any button down short sleeved shirts?" The salesman replied "no, we do not ever carry them" with a slight emphasis on ever. Well then. I get it, it's not my fave look, but this was after a spate of 90 degree heat and I know what he'd like. No worries, RL was happy to sell me a few. BB was empty.

* come to think of it, I think many women do as well. My DD1 loves them. I have a double breasted Austin Reed, but it is mysteriously snug right now. : (

Aha! Maybe that's it! The Uniform! I must be related to 2katz husband. I tend to follow the beat of a different drum. We are not formal people, and it would be like getting Ida's hubby out of jeans - getting me into a blazer. It's just not me, although I have many nice clothes and I can certainly dress appropriately for events. But remember, I am from the south!! I recall one of the first trips I made to Washington, DC probably as a pre-teen. I can still remember a lady asking me where I was from (my accent I guess) and then being surprised THAT I HAD ON SHOES. haha! I guess we are not all hillbillies here in TN. But seriously @mtnrdredux_gw I had no idea you were so preppy! No wonder you are mistaken for that preppy blogger.

Hahah! DH has short-sleeve button down shirts as well. Back in the day when the AC was whimpy if it existed at all in the buildings where he worked made them necessary. Besides, they always looked fine with his plastic pocket protector!

😆

My dad often wore (and my son still does) either one of those red/pink blazers or trousers (not together, not a suit) to summer parties. Love that look.

Me too, Cyn

Our son is wearing those red /pink bermuda shorts and a plaid RL short sleeve button right now for his birthday party downtown. You really cant go wrong with that kind of look, at least not where we live,

2katz, i dont think my group is more refined, maybe just more churchgoing 😊

Nantucket Reds!

“Nantucket Reds were originally inspired by cotton trousers worn in Brittany. A characteristic of Reds is that they fade to a "dusty rose" as they age. Since their inception, the cotton canvas pants have been marketed as shorts. The distinctive salmon pink color has since been used on hats, shirts, sweaters and socks.”

”

???

Nantucket Reds - I learn something new here everyday. Never heard of them here in MN but now that I have I’ll surely hear about them again

I had no idea...now I know what you're talking about!

It's a great look but always reminds me of tomato soup! DH would never go for it, and DS is even more conservative

Vadap might have come up with their own comment? There is no question mark and no winky face at the end of their semi quoted statement.

Zalco had both a ;-) and a question mark. To my mind that is two different comments. YMMV.

I'm not sure what either means; that's where I fall short in understanding. I'm not very good at what I think is being facetious and I'm abysmally bad at perhaps pointed possibly mean statements.

I think you're right @terezosa / terriks. Before I was married (about 6 years ago now), I bought an ettiquette book and it suggests that it is not proper ettiquette to put a dress code on a wedding invite.

My comment about etiquette books keeping pace with rude behavior was in response to this comment, directly above mine.

Mtn, I thought I was the only person with very preppy dressers who refuse to wear those red trousers. I kinda love the look. The men in my life all balk, yet they mostly wear clothes from J Press. Go figure.

I have also never heard of these red pants/shorts!

Our son is wearing those red /pink bermuda shorts and a plaid RL short sleeve button right now for his birthday party downtown. You really cant go wrong with that kind of look, at least not where we live,

It's not a look that I've seen here in the Pacific Northwest.

Another who has not heard of the nantucket reds, but I'm in the south.

You might see those reds here, but most likely on young bearded hipsters drinking $15 pints in trendy brewpubs.

Of course, I don't really like that nantucket red at all...but ever since I went looking, now every site I visit it chockablock with ads for nantucket red!

Zalco, there is conservative preppy, and there are pants with whales and the like, amirite?

My nephew got married on Saturday. It was a beautiful day here on the west coast!

Cocktail attire was requested. Because of this thread, i could tell which guests were from the east coast. lol!

His west coast friends and family were in black. His east coast grandpa was in a khaki suit. His east coast uncles were in khaki pants and blue blazers. Younger guys in linen or light pants. A few wore hats.

I think everyone looked pulled together, not necessarily in cocktail attire. That was okay. We all just had fun!

How beautiful!

I mean, it’s a wedding! One of the happiest, most exciting days of the couple’s life-surely it’s not too much trouble for the guests to dress appropriately? I didn’t request any particular attire…but I was married in the 90’s at our large, formal Episcopal church at 6:30 pm, with a reception at the country club with a band, dinner, drinking, and dancing. It was a toss up b/w men who wore dark suits and men who wore tuxes. Someone in jeans would have been incredibly out of place and umcomfortable.

We just attended the wedding of one of my dear friend’s children! The first in our friend group! She’s too young! 😂 Anyway, it was outside but very religious and simply lovely. The groomsmen wore suits instead of tuxes, and the guests were a mix of linen and seersucker suits and sportcoats (sportcoats skewed a bit younger.) I just can’t imagine anyone dressing down to the point of jeans here. All this to say, your dh would probably be fine in a nice sportcoat for the outdoor wedding you have coming up.

Fascinating comments about East Coast versus West Coast attire. In my Bay Area circle, the dress code is very East Coast- mind you a lot of us are East Coast transplants, but there are plenty of native Californians too, and they are indistinguishable from the East coasters.

..."there is conservative preppy, and there are pants with whales and the like, amirite?"

Ummm, nope. My dad and his friends were some of the most conservative people and dressers you could imagine (back when conservative meant Eisenhower). I think it is more a case of where one grows up when it comes to clothes.

Cyn, I am missing your point. My point was that some elements of preppy fashion are less controversial than others. Most guys won't balk at a navy blazer and khaki, and many will do seersuck and madras, but I find less take up on whale pants and their ilk. My DS does have some cute white shorts with navy lobsters, and khaki shorts with navy Adirondack chairs, but DH wouldn't wear embroidered anything.

First I learn that there is such thing as Nantucket Red pants for men, now I find out that some wear these pants with whales on them?!

Cmon, now, yes you have? there is some regionality to it, but it is also very much a golf look

Its not unusual to see guys in printed slacks here (Florida) including madras, whales, sail boats and tiny flamingos.

Although I prefer the flamngos on a dark backgroud.

Admittedly, I don't get out much lately, and I'm not a golfer, but I really can't imagine many (if any) men in Southern Oregon wear those types of pants.

Mtn, just saying that conservative/preppy and those trousers (if that is what you meant) are not necessarily different. I also grew up with men wearing those embroidered trousers. Not controversial where we were at all. Still, not worn by everyone. Not all conservatives are preppy, but back in the 50s through maybe the 70s, my dad's generation in our area were both conservative and preppy and wore those trousers which we didn't consider controversial. That's all. Didn't intend to offend you, just explaining my view on it.

I dont think the pants/shorts are controversal; i just dont see them around here. I do see a fair amount of madras plaid shorts on men.

I'm not sure it's an east/west coast thing that's determining what people wear as much as it may be a social class thing. I'm on the east coast and I've been to formal events with more white collar folks and everyone was dressed very formally. And then I have been to, eg, a wake with a more blue collar group and saw cut off shorts and sandals and cowboy boots and jeans.

Then there was my uncle from FL whose only apparent suit was a mustard polyester leisure suit from the 70s which he wore to his mother's funeral...I guess I can give him credit for still fitting into the thing decades later...

Yes, I see what you mean Cyn. No offense at all, just saying that IME, even among preppies and golfers, the whale pants were just less common than a lot of other "preppy" looks.

Geez, Annie, I can picture the leisure suit. I may have nightmares.

OMG - DH would not be caught dead in any of those whale type pants or shorts for that matter. He does wear these however.

Those are such a pretty plaid! DH has a lot of BB boxers that look like that, I call it his Catholic schoolgirl look.

Of course you can picture it Mtnrd! And you know he wore it with a dark brown and orange printed shirt!

Since I am addicted to Lilly myself, ofc I love the whole Vineyard Vines look for guys! It’s just so fun and summery and festive! My dh won’t do any of the loud stuff (i think i saw a Kentucky Derby print patchwork blazer in the catalogue once😳😂.) I mean, that’s just hilarious! The craziest he’ll get is maybe a fun needlepoint belt or something.🙄 I think it is nice to see guys as colorful as girls, especially in the summer.