JP, sorry you DSIL is going through this. Not a service-type gift, but you might look for a really cozy sweater and/or blanket. I’ve read often that chemo patients get very cold. I don’t know if it the infusion of the chemo or if the treatment rooms are kept cold.

Since they want for nothing and distance makes it difficult for you to "be" there, I'd maybe commit to sending a card with a note in it every week. Maybe a subscription to a magazine she might enjoy. Send a book once in a while if you know she's up for reading. Magazines are easier to thumb through for a few moments than concentrating on a book, if that might be difficult for her. Just letting her know you are thinking of her is probably the best gift of all.

commit to sending a card with a note in it every week.

This.

Oly has some good ideas. I've had family members go through chemo. The weekly card is a great idea and I would add that calling regularly would be nice too. Books, magazines, etc. are a good idea too - many chemo patients like to have something to take with them to read during a chemo treatment. I've seen several take a blanket/pillow in with them (I accompanied my MIL often on her chemo treatments). The house cleaning idea is a good one, if you find one you can get a card for. My MIL would be very tired once her counts went down and her sister helped with house-cleaning and she ended up hiring someone to help at one point.

bbstx—-bingo! She mentuoned a weighted heated blanket they put on her stomach when she went for her lymph node biopsy—she couldn’t eat/drink past midnight and couldn’t keep anything down the day before so was in bad shape. She said the blanket was so soothing! Definitely ordering that today!

Great idea for cards—think I’ll hit the Hallmark store this week and try to find some humorous cards. And maybe a subscription to People?—-a light and fluffy distraction. Her book club is dropping off three books each week.

Does her husband cook? if not, although they have family/friends nearby, perhaps one of those ”food service” subscriptions where you get a package sent to your house on a schedule with all the ingredients for the meals selected and husby (?) can cook it at home?

Justretired—-I’m sorry you’re going through this and wish you well. Yes, my SIL was also afraid she’d have 10 casseroles in the freezer. She has had a hard time keeping anything down these last few weeks and it may not get better with chemo.

I just ordered the blanket from Amazon and she’ll be getting it tomorrow—yay! I saw they make ”port shirts” for chemo (who knew?) and almost ordered one but I suspect they have already been told to purchase one.

My brother is in excellent health. He is quite capable in the kitchen and since he’s retired has time to clean the house, even if it’s done piecemeal, so I will leave that decision to them so they can get local referrals. I’d go clean a few times a month if we still lived in the area.

Thanks all for the great ideas!

depending on her style, there are also some nice chemo ”hats” on-line.

I lost my hair going through chemo when it started one January for 5 months, and so my head was cold. i bought lovely, soft caps from sellers on Etsy. I also went through radiation treatments that degraded the skin on my chest (breast cancer) so very soft, cotton garments. I had little hunger but needed to eat. Every one has their own prefernces - beef barley soup, chicken noodle soup, tapioca pudding, rice pudding, strawberry jellow with bananas in it. I remember I could eat cheese pizza

I highly reccomend she gets a prescription for Ativan to take when she's overwhelmed..

When I was going thru chemo I was in much the same situation as your SIL. We really didn't need the help.

Coworkers offered things and my reply was just to send me cards. It was very encouraging to me to get the mail and for there to be a card. I was disappointed in them though. I am quick witted and have a good sense of humor. Not very many of them sent me snarky cards, they were nice and polite!

Like others have said, your sense of taste changes and I didn't always want to eat. One of our neighbors used to cook a little extra and bring that over for DH. It would be a meal or two for him, just the perfect size.

Depending on how long her sessions last and the amenities of the center, adult coloring books and pens can be fun. I didn't always have much time for that if I had gabbed/visited too much. (I had chemo at the hospital where I work).

As far as "Port" shirts, I just wore a v neck or shirt that buttoned and it was easier to access my port.

My DH had NHL 25 years ago. Modern medicine is truly amazing. Hoping for an easy journey for you .

I love the sending a weekly note idea. When my mother was in chemo she really appreciated having her hair done at a blow dry type place. Of course, this is provided losing hair is not one of your relative's side effects.

You can send an Uber Eats card and they can use that to order whatever food they want. I just did that recently for my husband's cousin when his mom passed.

I would send a note each week along with a favorite book or puzzle book or activity included sometimes as well, so they have something to keep them occupied in chemo.

Thanks Joanie I was going to mention a hat as well , seagrass Yes, a soft hat with no seams The head gets quite tender and cold Maybe save that for a bit, until you know she has actually lost her hair It is a difficult pill to swallow (at least for me it is)

DH went through surgery and a long recovery time. The cards meant the most to him, especially the ones that included a few words, rather than just a signature. His siblings and friends were also good about texting which he enjoyed-he could read at his leisure and reply if/when he felt up to it.

Many good ideas above. I think if you know her size etc some nice soft pajamas. I also like the idea of a soft throw and a long cardigan that is extra soft. The head coverings if she does lose her hair will be important. They make some for sleeping too. Maybe for later on this fall/winter, some jigsaw puzzles if they both would like doing them and she is feeling well enough.

Seagrass and RN mom—thanks for the advice from the perpective of one who’s been through it—very helpful.

Uber Eats isxsnother great idea—thanks Beagles.

I’ll wait a month or two and send some comfy pj’s and a hat if she loses hair—thanks HU.

One of our dear friends is going through chemo/radiation right now. He is a very funny, active, athletic person who loves sports. We wanted to keep him laughing…Got him some funny sports books and a seek and find book that was puzzels about his beloved alma mater. Sent this card:😂

Don't forget a note or card (and even a gift) sent directly to and for her spouse. The caregiver would probably like to know people are also concerned with him and how he's holding up.

^^^Yes!! We (all the girls) have been having porch happy hours and lunches for his wife. She loves just getting away for a bit, and knows she can talk about his treatment as much or as little as she wants. I took her to get pedicures last week. i think the spouse almost as much support as the patient.

I’m really sorry about your SIL, it’s not easy and I hope she’ll be ok. When my mother was on Chemo, she would take a bag I gave her with little things in it to keep her busy. It was a medium sized Vera Bradly with lots of pockets inside. She’d take little snacks she liked, a book she was reading or whatever caught her fancy at the time. I also made her a hat and lapghan that would fit in it so she’d have something soft on her skin. Having ”her” things with her was comforting to her. My husband enjoyed listening to his audio book club. The chemo would often leave him unable to concentrate enough to read, (which he loved to do) and the audio books were a good compromise.

Now I feel bad. As you know, DH finished chemo and radiation a couple of months ago and even now he's still cold. Stupid me didn't even think of giving him my weighted blanket and I know he would have loved it. He was so cold he slept with the blanket wrapped around his head!

So yes to the blanket. I also think a housecleaning service would be good, no matter the reviews. She'll be home to supervise, and she won't have the energy to do much. If her DH is like mine, the towels will be folded wrong side out, and he'll clean the countertops with the dishcloth and put the dishcloth back where it came from.

You may want to reconsider waiting on the hat. My DH was on Chemo for 8 years and didn’t loose his hair until the last year when his treatment was changed. He had a stash of hats he wore constantly even in the heat of summer.

I have just started chemo (for endometrial cancer) and have purcheased beautiful, soft head coverings from headcovers dot com. It's a small company and the people are very good. My sister just finished her chemo and lives in Canada, and the Headcovers people were able to ship directly to her. I also would never want anyone to send food or flowers. The cards are a really good idea. I'm sorry your SIL is having to go through this, but modern medicine is really a tremendously great thing. I wish her well!

I would buy books, two of my sisters had chemo and I knew the books by Fannie Flag were well written and hilarious. They LOVED them.

Lukki—-thanks😉

Heather—-wishing you the best as you go through chemo and thanks for the info.

Yayagal—-Fannie Flag—great idea!

No to any food. Yes to soft hats. I got the most use out of a reading pillow. Able to go from bed to couch when not feeling well, but not bad enough to actually lay down:

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