If you have difficulty keeping a 1200 sf home clean and tidy, you won’t be able to keep a larger home clean and tidy no matter how much storage it has.

I disagree. I moved from a 2000 sqft house to an almost 5000 and it so much easier. There is so much space for everything and you can easily keep most of the rooms organized all the time. I too dislike organizing but because of the abundance of storage, I don't have to constantly keep cleaning now. But think of how you live and if it suits you and you can afford it, do consider the larger house.

There are other considerations with the almost 4x larger house - higher heat and electricity bills, higher property taxes, perhaps more yard to maintain, buying more furniture to furnish (maybe). A lot more space for the 5 children to create messes LOL as well! beyond more dusting, vacuuming, bath scrubbing.... although at 7 years old I was helping my mother with simple tasks (dusting, making beds, feeding the cat, taking out trash) as were my siblings.

I live in a 1250 sf, 3 BR 1 BA house and it is a bit short on closet space, but it worked because I was strict about not keeping more than I needed. It was fine for 3-4 people. Unfortunately as an empty nester I have accumulated stuff to fill the now unused bedrooms and would hate to have more room to do that in!

I think something large enough to be comfortable but not so huge might be your best bet.

I too wonder if something in between what you've described wouldn't work for you.

Let me say first of all that DH grew up as #6 in a family of 10 children. He's 70 now and continues to think he had an almost perfect childhood - even though money always tight. He was then and is now close to all his siblings (but now by choice ;0)

We upsized for retirement having stumbled onto a house with twice our amount of square feet but all on one floor. No stairs at all, lots of off street parking, attached garage, storage inside and out.

It's easy to keep neat as there is a place to put everything away plus closet space and shelving I haven't used (and don't expect to). It's a dream for entertaining and may have saved our sanity during Covid pandemic....we had places to escape from one another if we needed some 'me' time.

Notice I said 'neat', not necessarily sparkling clean. Floors are my issue. I do carpeted areas one day and hard surfaced floors another. All same day will give me a backache! For the first time ever I'm considering getting someone to come and do floors a couple of times a month. And, maybe dust.

Downsides are much larger lot that I don't think I could keep up without help if something happened to DH. Heat (natural gas), prop taxes much higher (both went up x3 what we'd paid for years). We didn't have enough furniture, settled for new in main living areas and still haven't purchased for one guest room

If you love the house, it meets your needs, is well located, and you can afford it, GO for it! It WILL be easier to keep organized once you are not all on top of one another, making double or triple use of every square foot of space. If you think you're stressed now, just wait until your currently small children are the size of adults. Don't wait until some of your kids are ready to fly the nest to live in a family-sized house.

We own a 2-flat where one unit is 1200 sq ft. Our tenant, his wife and two middle school girls are a perfect fit. We would never consider renting to a family of seven for reasons of wear and tear.

As a family of six, we mostly lived in 4,240 sf plus finished basement. One child flown the coop, we downsized to 3,770 sf. Down to one at home, we moved to 2,075 sf while building 8,500 finished sf.

RESPECT

Son and Dad are fine. But mrs. worthy, like Aretha Franklin, prefers "Driving on the freeway of love in a pink Cadillac!"

My previous house was about 3200 sq ft. At retirement DH and I downsized to 1500 sq ft. Differences after downsizing:

Smaller house - smaller heating & cooling bills.

Smaller roof when it comes time to replace.

Less wall space to display art.

More stuff stored in attic, including out-of-season clothes ... despite having a walk-up attic this stuff is still not as accessible as when we had it in regular closets.

Kitchen accommodates two cooks but not a whole family cooking together.

Same amount of dishes, same amount of laundry.

Dusting increased! -- prior house was a new build and had an electrostatic air filter from the beginning. Current house is 80 years old with regular filter pads in the hvac system.

Floor cleaning -- surprisingly, didn't change all that much. Vaacuum once a week and it's my least favorite hour regardless of how much space gets done.

My advice: because you can afford it and have a large family, move -- then guide your family to use the new space wisely.

4500 sq ft is a big house but you also have 5 kids so you may need all that space.

We have lived in different size houses. Each worked well for where we were in life. Our previous house was 3900 sq ft. It was me, my DH and 2 kids. It was nice to have lots of storage space but took longer to clean. But I also found having all that storage space caused an accumulation of lots of stuff. Stuff that sat there but really served no function. We now live in a 2700 sq ft house and it is a perfect size for where we are in life now. We got one kid out and working on the other. The amount of stuff we paired down from previous house was insane.

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So I guess what I think I am saying is go for a bigger house. It will fit your needs for now and then at some point it will become too big for you when kids are out and you sell and buy something the size that works better for where you are in life at that point.

My first thought: five kids and all their stuff AND homeschooling. Personally, I’d go nuts with all that entails in a small home.

My second thought: there’s no reason why a 7 year old, a 5 year old, or even a 3 year old can’t help with tidyness and cleaning. (Ever observed an Amish family?) Obviously, since you homeschool, you already have great teaching processes in place. Teach them.

I’d buy the bigger house; you said finances are not a concern. The kids are small now, but they will grow. Ever tripped over a 14 year old boy’s legs stretched out in front of the couch?

None of my business at all, but are more kids in your future? They (and you) will be much more comfortable with more room.

I would go for something in between -- in the 2500-3000 sq ft range for your family size and needs. A house that's 4500 sq ft is not only a lot of keep clean and tidy, it's going to be more expensive to heat and cool, and to properly furnish (don't forget floor and window covering, etc if you want something different than is there). I definitely understand why you want more than 1200 sq ft for a family with 5 homeschooled children, but I think you're overshooting your needs and wants with a 4500 sq ft home.

How people feel about space is such a deeply personal thing.

I've seen single people say there is no way they could live in less than 2000 square feet. By themself, they believe they need at least that much in order to feel comfortable and spread out.

And then on the other hand you'll see people living very happily in a 200 square foot tiny home and they can't fathom how one single person could need TEN times that amount to be happy.

Neither of them are wrong. It all goes back to a deeply personal thing, how people feel about space.

I moved from a ~1500 sq foot house into a brand new 2400 sq foot house - and I'm such an idiot it never occurred to me that bigger house = more time cleaning. I am a borderline neat freak, so take that for what it's worth. In my old house, I could clean it to my standards in a few hours. The new house takes me the majority of a day to do the same tasks. Even something as mundane as putting laundry away feels like it takes forever because there is so much more walking and space involved.

Also, my tax bills virtually doubled. Fun!

On the good news front, the new home was so much more energy efficient that my heating, cooling, and electric use all actually went down.

So all of that is a very long way of saying, there is no way anyone can answer this question for you. Only you know how you feel about space, what your kids need/want, how the decision may impact your finances and how you feel about that. It's more than just being able to "afford" it - it's realizing that if it does cost more, it's going to cost more forever and over time that's a lot of money! What is the value of all of that, to you? Will you and your kids be happier with more space to spread out, and see that as a good value/worth it - or over time will you resent the higher costs and end up having to work longer, or travel less, or whatever.

The kids will get bigger and they'll be with you for quite some time. Get a bigger house. Maybe not that one, but something bigger. Your current house is a nightmare. That is what we're dealing with here!

And all that stuff you've heard about living with teenagers? It's true. Start house hunting.

I agree to go for the bigger house. We have 4 kids (teens and almost 21, now). They need their space. We did live (when they were much younger), for a year or so, in approximately 1,500sf that wasn't well laid out and didn't have a lot of space. It wasn't the end of the world. But I'd prefer not to live like that. I'm not a super-neatnik either. I tend to have projects going on in different rooms (and so do the kids). I love a little space. I like to be able to chuck everything into a closet or cabinet or whatever if it needs to be cleaned up for whatever reason. I like to be able to take a phone call in a quiet room away from homework projects and teenage arguments, ha!

For us, the bigger house was also a great investment due to local real estate, so the bigger home made sense all the way around.

Yes to a bigger house -- 1200 sq.ft for seven people is tight! No to a 4500 sq. ft. house unless you are willing to pay for household help. Extra space is nice but a large house can feel like a noose around your neck if you're expected to keep it clean and organized. I mean, do you enjoy cleaning bathrooms? Have an honest conversation with your partner about how much time you two can realistically devote to home maintenance, and how much you can afford to hire out. If household help is an option, go for the big house, but don't drive yourself into an early grave over a big house fantasy (I speak from experience). Good luck with your house search.

Bigger house. If the kids want their friends to come over you’ll have the space — j loved when my kids had friend over get to know them
AND their bodies and clothes get bigger. While you’re add it make sure to have two washers and dryers.. friends of ours did and they also have 5 kids. As I said their clothes get bigger so can’t wash as much in one load!! We lives in 4000 sq ft with 3 kids. I was very grateful for that space!!

LARGE…. no matter what the layout ..more room will be better…when everybody is grown and gone you can do whatever works for you at that point…in our retirement we have a home in the mountains for summer(gorgeous) and the winter we have a place in the city in the desert( divine)…there is always someone who wants to visit in either place so one guest room, is plenty …and the weather for us is always perfect…

I have lived in small homes and been very happy so I can understand your hesitation. My current home is 3500sq. ft . And it also feels very comfortable. You adapt. As for the cleaning; it’s not really that much more work! Besides, you have all those children that will have to be given chores very soon😉. You may not need quite as large a house as you are considering though. Only you know what that added costs would be and if it is worth it.

Go with the bigger house if it's affordable to you. It would be nice for 5 kids to have some room to be homeschooled. But I think you must have good reasons to stay in a 1,200 sq ft home with 5 kids for all this time.

I would get the bigger house if you like it and can afford it and the addtional expenses involved with a larger home. Yes, something in the middle might be better but how likely is it that you'll find something else that you you like in this market? Your kids can help keep the bigger house clean. It will be easier to keep it tidy and organized. I'm impressed that a family of seven can live in a 1200 sq ft house. We are a family of two and wouldn't enjoy living in that amount of space. Of course everyone is different.

A bigger house would be fine for your large family as they grow older. You can get an upstairs vacuum and a downstairs vacuum. Robo vacs are great.

Thank you all for the advice and experience shared! It is so appreciated. I have gotten a lot of wisdom from asking you all and others, lots of good things to learn. We decided to pass on the giant house, due to several factors. Currently we’re planning on tackling down and trying to fix some of the issues with our little house that we’ve been avoiding, like redesigning the tiny laundry room so that you can actually walk through it and tearing apart the closets to put them back together in a way that maximizes the space.

I think there’s a lot we can do just by changing things around our home that we’ve been just “making do.” And if something comes up that we like that seems a good fit, then we’ll have to try to make this decision all over again, but if not we’ll think about an addition. I do love many aspects of our property, just the outside not the inside. lol. And since the kids practically live outside when we’re not doing school, that’s pretty important. Haha 🙂

definitely agree that less is more. I do try to keep things to minimum. And yes, the kids all pitch in on the house for sure. Good for the house, good for Mama’s sanity, good for their work ethic :)

So at this point I’m making a list of all of the issues with our living space, and solutions for them. The necessary things that don’t have a place to go. The areas that collect clutter. The rooms that make it hard to have company over. And then figuring out what we can do about it. It’s pretty encouraging, because at least on paper, there are solutions for many things, even if there will be lots of work and hassle involved.

thank you all again for the advice! Really appreciate you, and the community on here

The thought of cleaning a 4,500 sq foot home would make me weep. My idea of a good time with that many kids would be a nice finished basement where all the toys would go and you just close the door when company comes and the living room is neat and clean.

Debt free and house being paid off is so very important- stay with a smaller home and do renovations where needed unless you want a change of environment.

When your children get a little older it is pretty certain their needs for more space will change…
it may be a good idea to keep looking on a more casual search…
but what you are spending now hopefully will add to the value of your home..
and when it becomes more apparent that teenagers are a little more needy of privacy than toddlers..you will have more equity to make the move more affordable

Thanks for coming back to tell us about your decision. I hope whatever changes you plan to make to your small home will please you -- and will appeal to the next owner when you sell it to move to the larger home you will certainly need and want very soon.

Go with a right sized house. That may turn out to be a 4500 square foot house or it may turn out to be smaller if it's well designed.

Start by reading The Not So Big House by Sarah Susanka for perspective on how to find or create a right sized house for YOUR needs.

5 kids under 7...and you have not mentioned bedrooms or bathrooms? Or price. Or your pre approved number with your lender ( your income)?. Then there is a realtor market appraisal for your home and the seller's market in your area.

I think you are way ahead of yourself.

I would go with the bigger home. A family of 7 needs the space for all that you have mentioned and more. We have a 3500 sq ft home that we raised our family in. It met our needs and had room for family members to boot when they came to visit. In this case with your size family, Bigger is Better. Cleaning is highly overrated to begin with. My house was clean, but not spotless. So much more important things to do with the family then cleaning. One day a week for thorough cleaning was enough.