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dlm2000

You know you're old when....

3 years ago

Tell me something that has happened to you or as in my case, something you recently became aware of that makes you certain you are firmly in the 'old' category. I'll feel much better if it's not just me.

Maybe this has been going on for a while - I have a feeling mtn and jojo are going to be laughing at me - but I just today learned that double stone engagement rings are a thing. I'm talking double stone as in 2 prominent stones, not matching in shape (or sometimes color) not a center stone and smaller side stones. For example an emerald cut along side a pear shape. I have to say, I don't get it and am willing to admit adjusting new fashion probably takes me longer than the average person but eventually I get there.



Comments (50)

  • 3 years ago

    Well um thank you for making me aware of this because I would have no clue. As I think of it, I know 2 very recently engaged "young ladies" , and each got a beautiful traditional diamond (solo) ring...hmmmm

    DLM2000-GW thanked salonva
  • 3 years ago

    Dislike as well, but who am I to judge? My engagement ring looks like Princess Diana's.

    DLM2000-GW thanked deegw
  • 3 years ago

    Very excited that you may think of me as au courant!


    I've never seen this. I can't see this as an actual "trend:" since it costs ~2x as much.


    I am seeing the opposite -a disdain for diamonds (by some) on human rights grounds.

    DLM2000-GW thanked mtnrdredux_gw
  • 3 years ago

    I've seen these "toi et moi" rings from the Edwardian era. Usually they're two similar stones of similar size/cut, or sometimes a diamond and pear/ruby/sapphire/emerald. The new trend, with diamonds of two different cuts, definitely feels more contemporary . . . and more expensive. It will definitely telegraph its era in the future, as do the marquis-set rings of many of my contemporaries who married in the late '80s.


    An Edwardian diamond and pearl toi et moi ring

    DLM2000-GW thanked jakabedy
  • 3 years ago

    Most recent i remember like this is Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly Engagement ring

    DLM2000-GW thanked gsciencechick
  • 3 years ago

    OP you are not old simply because you look askance at a ring with two stones. I think it is conspicuous consumption and not a good looking step for the beginning of a marriage.

    DLM2000-GW thanked lucillle
  • 3 years ago

    The last two examples are both beautiful. They have a setting that enables the two stones to both make sense. The OPs was just ugly. I made no sense. I don't see anyone wanting that look.

    DLM2000-GW thanked arcy_gw
  • 3 years ago

    I’ve never heard of this. In the OP, I think combining them in such an awkward way takes away from each pretty stone.

    DLM2000-GW thanked Jilly
  • 3 years ago

    Not laughing at you. New to me too. Not a fan.

    DLM2000-GW thanked jojoco
  • 3 years ago

    You all are making me feel a better that I'm not the only one. I am not passing judgement on whether it's attractive or not as I hope to give any couple the choice to decide that for themselves. But it is a totally new look to me. If you google it, there are many combinations, some more attractive to me than others, or at least less jarring. But this happens to be the combination a friends daughter will be getting and she showed me a pic of the ring today. When I asked (tactfully I hope) if this is a new 'thing' she said it is and promptly showed a pic of someone else the daughter knows with a dual ring.

    mnt I am in the re-thinking diamonds camp myself. I'll keep what I have but nothing new. It's kind of like furs in that once you know it's hard to look at them in the same way. And in both cases the fakes are better and better. You are most def au courant!

    Kswl that's a good one! And probably has more than a bit of truth.

    jakabedy that's a gorgeous ring - I think pearls and diamonds are classic.

    gscience that may be where the trend began for all I know.

    arcy apparently some people do want that look.

    jinx I agree not only is neither stone the star, both are diminished by the proximity of the other.

  • 3 years ago
    last modified: 3 years ago

    I'm down the rabbit hole - this was Jackie Kennedys ring. She redesigned it when they were in the white house but it was still a 2 stone ring. Both being emerald cut it's less jarring.





  • 3 years ago

    Jackie's ring has balance and style, whereas that ring DLM2000-GW posted looks like it was designed by a 12 year old.

    Count me in for the disdain of diamonds for human rights / debeers reasons. I got around it with a vintage engagement ring and moissanite wedding band. although I realize the message doesn't really get across when your wedding set still just looks like regular diamonds.

    DLM2000-GW thanked User
  • 3 years ago

    I know several young women (DIL included) who opted for moissanite for the human rights reasons. Not a fan of the weird 2 stone nonsensical combo. Definitely someone's idea of a good marketing idea.

    DLM2000-GW thanked jmck_nc
  • 3 years ago
    last modified: 3 years ago

    Moissanite is also strong as a diamond and flawless at a fraction of the price. win/win. I literally did not care whether my stones came from a mine or lab. In fact, I don't even wear them anymore, I never was much of a diamond person in the first place.

    DLM2000-GW thanked User
  • 3 years ago

    I haven’t seen the two stone ring either, and I dont care for it.

    DLM2000-GW thanked texanjana
  • 3 years ago
    last modified: 3 years ago

    Seattle, my DD’s fiance surprised her with an antique engagement ring he found from a place in Washington, https://eragem.com.

    It’s beautiful.

    (Not her hand, this was on their site):





    DLM2000-GW thanked Jilly
  • 3 years ago

    I am in the re-thinking diamonds camp myself.


    I am re-thinking jewelry generally. I have spent a great deal of money over the years, only to realize how very trendy jewelry is (like everything else) and how little it holds it value. The exception is maybe watches, but then I wear one less and less (though my DDs still covet them).


    It was a real eye opener when my siblings got my mom's jewelry appraised, and especially her diamond. One thing we were told was that frequent wear had damaged it, to which I say, WTF, weren't we always told...?

    DLM2000-GW thanked mtnrdredux_gw
  • 3 years ago

    I am not famliar with this trend. Perhaps I don't run in the right circles that would splurge on ring with multiple large stones. I find the balanced versions where there are two different stones of equal size/shape to be pleasing and interesting. I'm not a big fan of two different stones of seemlingly random cut. I generally like rings like the one Jinx posted better where there's something interesting in the layout of the stones vs a solitaire.

    DLM2000-GW thanked pricklypearcactus
  • 3 years ago

    Jakabedy, the toi et moi rings are beautiful. I have seen many like the last two and find them endearing in a way, as in two people joined in marriage.

    The example DLM posted is gaudy and unattractive. Lucille, I don’t get the connection to longevity of marriage.

    The ring gscience posted in the link is very unusual and I rather like the fact they can be separated and worn separately.

    DLM2000-GW thanked OutsidePlaying
  • 3 years ago

    Is this just a way to get more carat onto the finger for less money?

    Two cheaper smaller stones forming a bigger mass on the finger?

    I do feel that quantity not quality is a descriptor of a lot of the younger generation.

    DLM2000-GW thanked palimpsest
  • 3 years ago

    pal there are a lot of generations younger than I am and I don't think there's an overarching tendency in any of them to quantity over quality - individuals in Gen X, Y, Millennials or Z of course, but that holds for Boomers, Silents and any other generation.

    Jinx I love your daughter's ring - that's really beautiful and I like the way the band splits.

    mtn I think some of the older diamonds with European cut are not as 'indestructible' as newer cuts. Maybe that's what your mom had? But I'm sure the durability is all part of the myth surrounding diamonds.

  • 3 years ago
    last modified: 3 years ago

    The ring in the OP is just not attractive. There doesn't seem to have been any design thought put into it.

    The story behind the toi et moi ring is interesting. I'm not sure that the ring shown actually qualifies as being that.

    My son bought his now wife an engagement ring with the center stone being a tanzanite. It's a beautiful stone but I had never heard of it.

    DLM2000-GW thanked blfenton
  • 3 years ago

    I don't know, I am thinking of a number of people who had a professional photographer for every step of the way from engagement to wedding with dozens and hundreds of proofs, and destination engagements, bachelor and Bachelorette parties, and receptions and post receptions and literally $100,000 spent and gender reveal parties and $5000 and 10,000 children's parties and "say yes to the Communion dress" parties in addition to the communion party...and all by people who are middle class. Things like this used to be a rarity and now is a regular type of thing.

    DLM2000-GW thanked palimpsest
  • 3 years ago

    I feel old because I have no idea who Meagan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly are.

    DLM2000-GW thanked Olychick
  • 3 years ago

    You're right I don't think it's an overarching tendency of any generation...the worst diamond ring I ever saw was something like 6 carats cut shallowly and hoisted up off the band to look even bigger, that didn't have the clarity of a rhinestone. And when that engagement ended she said that the ring encapsulated the man. And this was my generation.

    But I think with a certain type of person now documenting literally everything they do on social media, there's a sort of bigger is better, novelty is better, loook at This, fabulous fakes mentality that eventually trickles down (that's why they're called influencers) into the culture as fashion and is picked up by regular old non-narcissists just because it seems to be the thing to do.

  • 3 years ago

    I didn’t know that about the Jackie Kennedy ring, that it was that style. I like it. I also like the Megan Fox ring. I have a 3-stone ring and I love it every day, and it’s the more typical where the center stone is larger than the sides, although I’ve seen all 3 stones the same size.


    But Mtn, I hear you, I am done with jewelry. I will buy fun earrings, but only inexpensive ones and at max I will go to about $100 but usually way less than that. I lose too many to have an expensive set, and with mask wearing they sometimes get caught. DH is always looking for Christmas gifts, and I can find pairs I like out of someplace like Sundance catalog which is good enough.



  • 3 years ago

    I feel old because I have no idea who Meagan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly are.


    I had no idea they were a couple. Don't care for the double ring, but then I don't have to wear it. Surely she had input.


    The vintage rings @jakabedy and @Jilly posted are so pretty. The OP ring is a bit odd, neither stands out. Sort of fight each other?


    What about the east west rings? I like the emerald and pear shapes done this way. Mom's engagement ring is emeral and DD2 wants to use it this way. I tend to shy away from traditional settings. Everything I've had made is not the norm.



    DLM2000-GW thanked Allison0704
  • 3 years ago

    Pal, I echo your sentiments. I was working in the Conservatory yesterday during a fountain show. Strains of "What a Wonderful World" could be heard from where I was standing ( close to the windows). Across the conservatory, I saw a beautiful couple, all dressed up, start to slow dance. How was it possible they could even hear the music all the way over there? But I'm a sucker for romance and that song and I was thrilled. But then they abruptly stopped and struck a pose. And then another and another.. It was an engagement shoot and the dancing was as staged as the rest of the photos. We get that a lot. I've even seen couples re-enact the proposal in different, more photogenic spots.


  • 3 years ago

    Allison I love emeralds set sideways, cabochons, too, always have. A ring I inherited from my mother is a gorgeous emerald with tiny side diamonds that I have never worn because it's so 'cocktail ring' in my mind. I would look into resetting it but then where on earth would I wear such a ring at this point in my life! The parties we go to tend to be of the bbq type ;-)

  • 3 years ago

    I know what you mean, @DLM2000-GW. DH and I took my sister out to lunch last week. He asked me why wasn't I wearing a watch. I told him I don't usually wear in the summer, only in the winter. I have so much jewelry that I don't wear, I started giving or loaning to DD2, but she doesn't it wear it often either. The much older pieces are dated, like the one from your mom (although I know our moms had good taste). As far as not wearing to the bbq, I still wear one nice ring and stacked bands on the other hand. You only live once. Might as well enjoy.


    Getting back to engagement rings, DS gave his SO a diamond with smaller sapphires on each side. Her favorite. I wonder how old the current younger generations will be when they decide they don't like rose gold anymore.

    DLM2000-GW thanked Allison0704
  • 3 years ago
    last modified: 3 years ago

    I'd never seen the Jackie Kennedy ring. It's gorgeous! I love jewelry.

    I also want "Conflict Free Diamonds". I wear a 2.5ct pear CZ, with a solid gold band. The little diamonds are real. I wear 3 rings stacked....sort of a too much going on look......✨

    DLM2000-GW thanked User
  • 3 years ago

    I have the perfect name for them, Silly Stones, lol.

    DLM2000-GW thanked Yayagal
  • 3 years ago

    They look more like they represent one’s two children, or grandchildren. Like the necklaces. But harder to add on to!

    DLM2000-GW thanked bpath
  • 3 years ago

    Allison I love rose gold and had a ring made years ago that used it and white gold but after several years the difference in the colors was very subtle, kind of like why did I bother. Another jeweler told me when they are used together in bands the colors eventually migrate together - something much more scientific that I don't remember but it explained the change. There is no longer any difference in my ring and it all appears to be yellow gold but if I look at it under a loop I can faintly see the difference.

    bpath that would be one uncomfortable ring to wear with various stone shapes going around!

  • 3 years ago

    That is strange, and interesting.

  • 3 years ago

    My engagement ring is a beautiful diamond that came from my spouse's great-grandmother's engagement ring. It's really old (obviously, LOL), and when I had it set into the ring I picked out the jeweler remarked at its age and its clarity. He said he could tell it was cut long before modern machines existed.


    I don't think I would have wanted my spouse to spend what it would have cost in today's dollars to buy that ring. I'm also not a huge jewelry person anyway. But the antique stone has a nice family story and I feel special that its mine now.


    I'm weird enough that I often like things other people don't, so I rarely comment negatively on someone's else's design choices (whether it is home decorating or jewelry)...but that first ring in the original post feels awkward to me. The 2 stones just don't belong together - particularly with that setting - and I couldn't wear it because it would bug me way too much.

  • 3 years ago

    I like the ring in the OP, I think the juxtaposition of shapes, but similar size and heft, is pleasing. I love jewelry, and have a ton, mostly not good stuff, but a lot of sterling and vintage pieces that I wear quite often. I’ve been married twice, and never had an engagement ring, just wasn’t interested then or now. I wear a plain platinum band, and usually 2 or 3 other rings. A few years ago my wonderful MIL gave me two family diamond rings, one for me and one for my daughter, but they still sit in my jewelry box. I just can’t imagine wearing them, even though they were both mined and cut at least 95 (or more!) years ago, I just can’t get “blood diamond” out of my mind, and my 24 year old has ZERO interest in them, she wants me to sell them, and I might, we’ll see.

  • 3 years ago

    I love east-west settings, too! Emerald cuts look especially good that way, especially if it's a single stone ring.

    DLM2000-GW thanked gsciencechick
  • 3 years ago

    DLM, DH has a rose gold hammered band with yellow gold trim. He wears it most days to work or for social events and so far the colors of the two golds have held up.

    DLM2000-GW thanked gsciencechick
  • 3 years ago

    gscience I certainly can't explain it! My ring was made from other pieces I had so maybe something in the re-use? Not a clue.

  • 3 years ago

    Nyah nyah! I know who Machine Gun Kelly is!!


    ....oh wait...you mean you're not talking about the gangster from the 50s????


    ...never mind....

    DLM2000-GW thanked Annie Deighnaugh
  • 3 years ago

    Alison, love that ring! My mother’s engagement ring was an emerald cut set the traditional way. I had the diamond removed and turned into a charm that hangs from an oval-link bracelet, but you can’t really see it. Maybe I should put it back into a ring, but EW like your photo.


    I have this orange sapphire ring in a similar shape, and love it.



    DLM2000-GW thanked Sueb20
  • last year
    last modified: last year

    Commenting to revive this post. I think its the one @martinca_gw sunset zone 24 was looking for.

  • last year

    Love that orange sapphire and setting, Sue!

  • last year

    Oly..you are da best! …So sweet . I think/thought so, too, but is there a mention of a north-south ring? I see eastwest. I need to dig it out and take pic.


  • last year
    last modified: last year

    Sueb20 mentions EW just above the pic of her ring, gsciece chick mentions east west and Allison mentions east west rings just above the pic of the ring she is holding, so I figured this was the post you were looking for. If there is anothe, I hope you find it!

  • last year

    Maybe I dreamt the n/s rings . Ah well. TY again, oly for trying.

  • last year

    Oh jeez, just realized I got the directionals wrong! My brain thought you were looking for e/w! My husband used to say that I could walk out to the backyard and get turned around. Obviously true!

  • last year

    I don’t recall seeing this thread when it was originally posted, so I’m making a very late comment now.

    At both the weddings I attended in 2023, the brides wore double diamond engagement rings. In both cases all the diamonds were family stones being reused. The couples did not know each other, so it wasn’t just a friend group thing, and they are slightly different ages (mid 20’s and mid 30’s). They were both engaged in 2022.

    I haven’t noticed other double diamonds but I only look at rings when someone is showing me their jewelry on a newly engaged hand or their newly wedded hand. And then I appropriately oh & ah about how lovely it is. If they’re happy, I’m happy for them.

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