Check out architectrunnerguy who works remotely.

The ability for the architect to visit the site before design process starts may not be necessary, but it is a really, really, really good idea.

I suggest start talking with a few of the closest architects and find out what they have designed in the past, their process, services they offer, fee structure, and how they would be to work with. Look for a sole practitioner that does mostly residential work, but has a variety of experience, and is close to retirement may be a good start. You already know what to avoid so the process should be relatively easy.

Good luck.

We recently went through designing and building a house and I strongly suggest you do not work with someone online. There is no comparison to being able to brainstorm with someone across the table and be able to have them pull out the tracing paper and sketch other options right in front of you. Being able to meet in person is also important should there be any issues that crop up.

I would drive a couple of hours to meet a "local" architect in person before I would turn to some stranger online. You also want that local architect to be there for you and be able to visit the site during construction, should any issues arise during the build.

What you want to build sounds expensive, so I would also want to get a builder involved very early on, so you don't end up designing a house that you can't afford to build.

At the risk of making your task bigger than you consider it to be, you're not just selecting an architect, you're putting together a team that will be responsible for delivering your vision of "home." You've already selected your builder and he/she will likely have a preferred set of trade partners. You need to select an architect who is able to ditch the old superior/subordinate roles and collaborate as a member of the team. Here's a link to an article on design/build from Fine Homebuilding Magazine that I hope you'll find helpful:

https://www.finehomebuilding.com/2014/05/14/a-better-approach-to-designbuild

"Architects - what do you want to see/hear at a consult/interview to help both sides decide if it is a good fit?"

I did not notice this part when I commented earlier.

To design the house I would want to have (create) a list of my client's needs and wants, a survey of the site (visit the site at least once), and know the budget.

To know it is a good fit I would want to get to know you. Be honest and do not be afraid to ask any questions. Many times after the initial meeting with a client I think to myself, "Wow! this has to be the funnest house I ever designed", because they are incredibly fun people. I have been blessed with good clients.

Building a home is something special and so many people are so uptight about it that the home's potential is reduced. Relax and enjoy the ride. Make it a journey and not just a destination. Life is too important to be taken seriously.

Where is the project located?

Thank you all for your comments! You have been very helpful. RES2-Central VA.

When we built our home, we were still reading the physical paper in our city. In its real estate section, the paper often would showcase photos and home stories of an architect located about three hours from us, and an architect and his residential firm in our city. The photos of the homes they each designed routinely wowed me. They each had different styles but I never saw a house designed by either that I didn't love. We set up a consult with the architect in our city and hired him. And yes, he drove his motorcycle out to our land about an hour and a half from the city. And yes, I love the house he designed for us.

The majority of our design/build clients live outside our area. We prefer an in-person initial design meeting, but that's not always possible. Subsequent meetings make use of the excellent on-line collaboration tools currently available. We're even able to make some revisions in real time during on line meetings.

We've come a long way since the telephone call was labelled "the next best thing to being there."

We have had two houses built using architects and separately-hired builders (they were in different areas, so couldn't use the same people for both houses). We looked at other houses designed by the architects to see if the architect's style was what we were looking for and whether the architect had designed houses with features that we would want in ours. Yes, each house is different and should be tailor-made for the client. But for example, we wanted a modern house that was not overly large; expecting that from an architect who has only ever designed Victorian-style mansions isn't fair for either party. We talked to people who had used that architect, and one of the questions was whether the house was able to be constructed for the cost range that the architect and builder felt it could be (within reason, of course).

My two cents about remote architects (which I have not done) is that it could be done, depending on the people involved. One question that I would ask, however, is how is the geography of the terrain is handled. A topo map can only do so much, and there might be features of the terrain or existing trees and bushes that you want to include or exclude. Our first house is on a gently-sloping lot, and it really impacted the design of the house (I never realized driveways could be so difficult to fit on a sloping lot).

We built in 2017 after more than a year of design with our designer (we didn’t use architect) and builder working together on the plans. This was the best decision. The team working together saved us a bundle. The design side often wanted to choose what was pretty and costly. The build side squashed some of these ideas and modified others so they were more in budget.

So my advice is to assemble a good team and make sure you are all on same page with communication, billing, transparency etc.

Beyond that check with past clients and make sure they have good things to say. Ask them specific questions that will dig deeper than the surface level we loved them, like what was your original budget vs final costs and why was it different? Ask them about communication too.