So you already have some suggestions how will dozens more help.

Cambria suggests Silver Satin - but my designer doesn't agree so wondering what others have done and if they are happy with it.

what other features in the cottage..like trim? floors? your decor? cabinet color can be tweaked a shade or two for the walls......are you refering to wall paint when you say "throughout the cottage" .

18 ft ceilings in great room - all west facing windows along one wall, windows on all sides, ceilings, trim, walls, cabinets will all be the same colour. Tons of light and trees & lake surround the space. Floors are reclaimed hemlock - so quite warm with lots of movement. 10 ft island will be painted BM Black iron - need to decide 'the' colour of white for all of the other elements. The cabinets are the only real 'wall space' in the great room, so I want to have a consistent colour throughout. The ceiling wood will be painted before it is delivered, so I need to tell them the colour before any of the elements are in place...and hence the dilemna over the colour choice based on small swatches of counter and paint samples.

Benjamin Moore Chantilly Lace. Done.

You have light all around, the floors are a neutral deep warm brown. If Chantilly doesn't work, you can sue me later : )

Clean, bright white. So is Decorator White, but a tad "grayer" .

All whites change with the lighting. With exposure and at different times of the day.

Go to a Ben Moore store. Get a quart mixed in two or three, paint a big poster board in each and walk it around the cottage and near the counter tops.

Is there a better way? No.

thank you so much for your help - you are right, i have been ignoring the obvious. I appreciate your help

We often do that, don't we?! Good luck, it will be fine: )