Money (with a hug and kiss).

Woulld she like to start or expand and investment portfolio? Some ETFs or a company she admires?

18 so graduating from high school? Doesn't need things for next year?

How about a nice real camera (not phone one)?

Money gets stuffed in a mattress, this kid is so cheap, but money to put in an investment portfolio? Hmmmmmmmm that is worth investigating! (Okay, she does have a bank account. But she spends nothing!)

She'll be headed to university next year and I know she'll insist on reusing the same backpack she's been toting since the self-destruction of her previous one 5 years or so ago...we don't know if she'll need anything for college. Ideally she'd get a bike, but she doesn't want one so she'd be mad if that's what she got...

We're torn about the camera. Would she carry it around? She only carries the phone because her mean parents make her, but she's gotta admit it's nice when it's time to take a picture. (I'm thinking of what happened with the birding binoculars here.)

Will add cameras to list!

Lyfia, that is a fun idea. I"ll have to see what I can come up with.

I think the experiences or 18 of something fun or silly -- or she sounds like she might be a kid who would appreciate a donation of 18 of something to a cause she cares about -- kids in need, food bank, and put something aside/invest for when she does have a want of a need. She will REALLY appreciate it then. Even if it is not until buying a home or an early retirement.

Sounds like my 19 year old grandson, who is now a freshman at college. He spends nothing, or bare minimum. I contribute to his college expenses every month, which means the money goes into his savings account. He'll figure it out one day, I'm sure.

What wonderful children/grands you have! They sound similar to mine and I couldn’t be prouder. Sure, it makes it hard on us gift-givers, but today’s youth are much more into waste not, want not, and reduce and reuse. Definitely something to celebrate.

Look into sustainable, organic, eco-friendly organization that your DD might want to join.

Something this:

Sorry but I can't seem to copy a link.

It's nice, isn't it?

I mean, I do kind of wish that my kids dressed better, but they're pretty cheap to keep around. :)

My teen is the same way. Never wants a gift. When he finally says he wants something, even if it is 6 months or a year later, I know he REALLY wants it and that is what he gets. Until then, I wish him a happy birthday and treat him to a nice meal.

She sounds like my son's fiance . Both my son and his fiance are not into material things. Is she into sewing? My son's fiance loves to sew her own clothes (usually by repurposing thrift shop clothing. How about a quality juicer? (again, things from my son's fiance's world.)

I like mtn’s idea of stock or the like. Not just the money for it, buy the shares. Perhaps in a company she likes. Years ago, my cousin’s wife was wearing a lot of Liz Claiborne, so he bought her stock for her birthday! Or a CD. maybe there is an 18-month cd at an attractive rate? Put $1800 into it. By the time it comes due, she will appreciate it!

Would a trip be possible? Maybe an arts subscription in the town where she will go to school?

I like the idea of a camera. Your daughter sounds somewhat like mine did at 18. Very minimalistic. But she did get into cameras around that age and since has experimented with film cameras, instant cameras, even disposables! She likes the retro film effects. Hates cell phone photography. I'm actually considering pulling out my old dslr and getting back to that. Good luck!

I love the idea of a membership or donation to an environmental organization. These days, a lot of young people are concerned about the environment they are going to inherit from the previous generation. If you went that route, I'd look at some of these organizations to see how much they spend on salaries and marketing. I swear some of them spend more sending out solicitations, freebies like calendars and note pads, and buying tv time than they actually raise for the cause they support.

Thanks for all the great ideas!

I think we are going to skip trying to surprise and present these options to her. (If she says "nope" we'll be outta luck, though!)

Masterclass subscription? There is everything on there from lesson on how to be a grassroots organizer to cooking, writing, etc.

Let us know!

Darn kid. She poohpoohed everything!

We're going with @ilikefriday 's plan. An unofficial "IOU for a nice gift when you figure out what you want".

And even the Nice Meal must be scheduled to not interfere with Cake Day (which is to be on The Birthday) because she doesn't want to be too full for cake. At least this demand makes sense. :)

This kid is in for a rude awakening when she goes off this fall. heh heh.

No ideas but she sounds like a great kid.

I’d honor her wishes and not give her a gift. It sounds like the gift giving is more for you than it is for her. She doesn’t sound impossible, just not into stuff.

Better than most gifts is the cards my DH makes for us. When I turned 60 or so, he listed all the senior discounts I was now eligible for! and, he gave me a lifetime senior membership to the National Parks. You could find all the things she can do at 18. like vote, maybe buy alcohol, work certain types of jobs, maybe drivers licenses change color or orientation at 18, etc.

She seems like a cool kid who would value experiences far above possessions. A trip to a location that has museums, historical sites, other attractions that would interest her? If she’s an architecture buff, maybe Chicago for Frank Lloyd Wright sites. If she loves jazz, maybe New Orleans or Memphis. If she’s an environmentalist, pick some national parks/monuments. Artsy? Maybe Santa Fe for Meow Wolf, Ghost Ranch, etc.

Is she not taking a car to college? Maybe load up her Uber account?

I think I'd give a gift card to Amazon. You can get almost anything there?

adding, if she's resourseful?

What is her major? i only ask because my son is a math major and for his 18th b’day for once specified a gift — an iPad Air and Apple Pencil. Since class notes, homework, etc are all handwritten theorems, postulates, proofs, it makes life so much easier.

I think 2Katz is right. gifts are just not her thing.

When I think about the stuff that ends up in Goodwill, they are disproportionately gifts. The gift giving culture just has too many occasions for all of the gifts to land.

Thanks for the ideas and suggestions, all! It's much appreciated.

The iPad Air idea is interesting. The kid intends to major in physics or something physics-adjacent, so there will be math and formulas and stuff. But she won't want to upgrade from a pencil until she has to. This is a kid who uses a 70-year old instrument in band class, not because it's good, but because she's cheap. (It is actually very good, but that's not why she uses it.) But I'll look into it because I know nothing about these and maybe I should!

[So far I have learned about a lot of stuff following up on these suggestions. Modern cameras. Masterclass. Assorted charities (that sparked some interest, actually!). Eco-org memberships. Investment stuff ("seems like a lot of work" haha!). Etc. So at least I'm getting something out of this!]

IME, with changes in technology and in prof's requirements, I would not buy any technology until you need to.

Does she have ear pods or tune-the-world-out head phones?

Yep. Definitely wait on tech until called for. I suspect there will be a huge demand for things once she heads off to school.

But! If the kid needs a tablet between now and then, this is a capability that should be included.

And I learned that it is a very nice tablet (we aren't an Apple family so I had to look up what it was).

Jojoco, she can tune ME out with her headphones. :) She can probably use better. I'll try them out today while she is at school.

Am I the only one who is experiencing a flaming case of ”ican’tevenremotelyrelate-itis??”🤣

Gah, my 19 yo college dd is easy to shop for bc she wants, well, everything. 🤣🙄 Seriously, your kiddo sounds great! What a refreshing mindset. Did anyone mention concert or festival tickets? Dd is begging for Bonnaroo tickets. The price made me gasp. It will definitely be her bday gift! 🤣

😁

It's pretty funny. I'm frugal but I'll spend when needed. Or I feel like it. But my kids are something else altogether. And they absolutely hate shopping. One got a new backpack last year because his old one developed an irreparable tear. He was sad. He said it was kind of a "flex" at school (his words) that he had had the same backpack through all of elementary and half of middle school. And that's the kid that always wants stuff! (And it's not even a new one. He found it in a closet full of swag from the spouse's old job.)

All the ideas here pushed me in different directions than I would have otherwise gone and I think I found something birthday kid can actually probably use! AND it's a valid excuse to get good headphones: https://usa.yamaha.com/products/musical_instruments/winds/silent_brass/index.html .

Her current headphones aren't good. She thinks they are fine. I bet you need noise cancellation in a dorm, right?

Nini, I too am pleasantly surprised. My dd , like yours, is also easy to shop for. Like her mama, she likes the classics (pearl earrings, diamond solitaire necklace...) I should also add that my dd is the best gift giver to me. (Is that something to be proud of? I want to say yes.)

Can we do Mother's day presents now?

Agree with the somewhat misplaced emphasis on gifts in our culture. I have never really liked the idea of giving guests gifts or favors at weddings, a custom that has seeped into adult birthday parties, christmas parties and even ordinary dinner parties.

I do think that anyone in a position to do so should establish an investment account for their kid and have them read the statements and follow their stocks or mutual funds. Eventually they will appreciate it.

We used to say our DD pinches pennies until Lincoln’s face bleeds— I don’t know what’s on a penny now, but she’s still at it. She had many merit scholarships and grants and basically paid for her own education, all three degrees. We contributed in a small way to her living expenses for her undergraduate degree, but once she was working she paid for the second and third without asking us for a dime. Some kids are just made that way. But she never turned down a clothes shopping trip! In her junior year of college I surprised her with a one day trip to the Mall of America. We flew up and back and bought her a new spring and summer wardrobe in a day.

I'm late to this discussion but I have a son like this and I am finally learning NOT to buy things! I always wanted birthdays and Christmases to "look" exciting with a gift - but he really does not like stuff. I learned my lesson very late into the game that anything I got would either be returned or sit around taking up space and making a mess, and he would be angry it took up space in his room. .

So, from about 15 on - Lego and stocks only. Oh, and food. But even this Easter I bought too many macarons and they were trashed. Maybe I haven't learned my lesson after all!

an electric toothbrush

This sounds like my son. He turned 18 this year and is not into stuff. We also wanted to do something extravagant for him since he got into one of best universities in the country Early Decision. We offered him a trip anywhere in the world and he choose the Super Bowl which ended being more expensive than a 2 week trip to Europe but it was worth it!

Trying so hard to relate but my 18 year old started sending me gift ideas 6 months in advance of the date.

I know she poohpooh'd the investment gift, but I just heard that in Canada (you're Canadian, non?) they've started a new program for tax free investing towards a home. It sounds similar to an RESP. Maybe you could open an account for her?

I'm technically Californian and not Canadian but practically the same thing except for tax plans. :)

I think perhaps some type of investment gift is a good idea though!

She does not like clothes. Or jewelry. Or waste. She has been wearing the same plastic digital watch for 4 years

she sounds like me. I think a really great gift for an 18 year old is a promise to take her on a really cool trip, even if it's just a day trip or weekend somewhere.

hands down one of the best gifts I got my entire life was when my husband and I had only been dating for about a year, and I was still a bit poor (climbing my way out of debt). for Christmas, he handed me a card that said "two tickets to Ireland". I cried and cried. it was amazing.

Awww how sweet.

Kid really does love cool trips. The problem is, she does not consider them presents to her because someone else gets to go as well. It just ain't special if brother gets it too, ya know?

Probably doesn't help that her birthday often hits during spring break which is prime family vacation time. You might think that having a supermarket pie with candles in a campground full of elk for a birthday is fun, and you'd be right, but everyone else is also enjoying being terrified by those elk so it's not YOUR trip. 😁

LOL, she really is impossible! what about a really cool experience where you just watch. like skydiving? or is that too scary? or maybe a rock climbing gym.

She really is.

The birthday has passed and she is happy with the "Awesome Gift TBD". She will not forget. So someday, somebody will be hit with inspiration. (Or the desire to drive?)