Red oak? What finish are you planning? Have you shown your flooring professional? You will need to see on site samples with finish. It will likely be some combination of bleach, toner, and finish. Not easy for most people.

Yes I have. I don't know what finish I'm planning. I think matte. I don't know much about this they're just asking me to pick a stain and go from there.

To get the look you want, you will need to pretreat first, which is added cost, before applying your choice of colorant and finishes. You are looking around $7-8 psf. to do this type of look on red oak.

We had our red oak refinished - sanded down to the natural color and then a satin finish on top. Here’s a before and after. I think it is close to the color you’re seeking. Good luck with your project!

The look you want is white oak, not red oak. You will need to highly manipulate the wood in several expensive steps to get that. You can do plain zero stain, at no added cost.

Would bona white stain work to take out some of the red tones?

I am not really familiar with Bona products but they do make a red out. Which is likely what you need. These are basically mint green prestains which neutralize the red tones.

White plus red equals pink. If you look a all the pink floors that result from trying to "whitewash" red oak, you will never go that route.

We have red oak and have decided to go with Nutmeg Duraseal for stain color with what the contractor uses for sealing (Bona water-based which does not change the color). My guy did a good size sample and despite warnings about this stain color looking orange, in our light the sample didn't. That said, if you want a warm shade that means yellow, orange or red would be in the mix. The super dark stains are not appealing to us right now so I went for Nutmeg because it isn't as dark. Also we have the builder oak kitchen cabinets so it will blend with those better than a darker stain. Hope it's the right decision.