I removed all the options I originally shared since none of them seemed to work

These are still the shoes I have for a black outfit:

And also a pair of black booties that should arrive any day. I didn't snag a photo but they are-- just a basic black pointy toed bootie.

I was in a bind a few years ago when my family forgot to pack my designated dress for my father's funeral held out of town (I was already with him and hadn't brought it along). None of us realized it until 8 pm the night before the funeral. I rushed to the only local store still open (Kohl's) and miraculously found a simple black dress.

It's easier to spend less on a basic black dress if you find a good blazer. I googled basic black dress, and there a number of reasonable options.

And, given your continued weight loss (good for you!), I think I'd focus on a blazer since you'll get more use out of it. Out of the blazers you posted, I like the third one... but if it's dowdy, don't do it. You've worked too hard feel dowdy! Even for a funeral.

That's a good point, Feathers-- I was looking at dresses at Talbots and Nordstrom. I should consider some of the less expensive stores. I also should reevaluate my dresses that are too big to see if a belt or another quick alteration would work.

I almost always prefer a suit -- but i am not buying a jacket I don't love. All i want is a short (hip-length) stylish black jacket.. should be simple to find, no??

I should add that my shopping has been spotty and in between high-tension meetings so I can't say my search has been exhaustive as yet.

I think the first jacket is the least casual and would work. You could wear a black dress, black skirt or black pants with it. Number 2 looks to be a jean jacket and I would think too casual. Number 3 could work, I can't tell if it is a cardigan or jacket? Number 4 I just don't like - maybe because of the fit on the model.

Don’t forget eBay as a source. If you know your measurements, you can find some good bargains there.

Thanks! A few responses:

#2 IS a jean jacket... which is why i said i didn't think it would work. I wanted opinions on whether changing out the buttons would make a difference. I realize now that it was a cray cray idea lol.

#3 is a jacket. I do have cardigans but i don't think a cardigan is appropriately dressy.

#4 yes, as i said it looks terrible on the model -- but that doesn't always reflect how it will look irl. If it were a better brand, i would have already ordered it to try.

I will keep looking tonight/tomorrow. I likely have at least a week to get it here -- the person in question has refused food and meds but is still conscious/aware/talking. Even if there is a sudden change, the funeral wouldn't be before late next week.

Fun-- that's a good idea and I will look at ebay/poshmark if I identify a specific jacket i just need in a smaller size. Thank you for the reminder!

Part of the problem is that i am currently spanning plus size and regular size -- but because I have broad shoulders/rib cage, i am focusing on plus size right now (or XXL in regular-- but that is iffy depending on brand. I still have plenty of weight to lose!).

I think you can shop your closet. Take out all the black clothes. I'm thinking if you can put a camisole under the deep v neck dress?

Black slacks and a black blouse fine.

I agree to check Kohl’s, Target, Marshall’s etc for something inexpensive.

How about a nice cardigan with a scarf to dress it up a bit?

I missed the comment about the buttons. Good idea to check our your dresses and add a belt. I'm sorry you are dealing with this situation.

Last time I had to wear black for a funeral, I wore a midi length flowy skirt with a black blouse, rather than a dress. Skirt has an elastic waist, and so does the pull-on blousy top, so it looks like a dress.

Thank you all for the ideas.. these things always come at bad times lol.

Do you think a dressy cardigan with black pants is dressy enough? That I could do pretty easily. I think. Dress it up with pearls? I think I am going to switch gears and see if i can pull this look off.

I don't own any dressy skirts anymore-- definitely not going to buy a skirt and/or blouse. I wouldn't wear them again unless they were super casual and the skirt, at least, wouldn't fit after more weight loss.

I have plenty of tops but anything nicer and dressy enough to wear alone with pants is too big (and looks it).

Maybe a camisole would work under the deep v's-- but that's not a look i generally like (on me or anyone). I could try artful pinning-- but that doesn't usually work well either ime.

So what I would really like is this.. 2-4" longer lol.

I removed my initial options since no one seemed to think they'd work. Here are a few sweaters.

This is a metallic tweed -- which could make it completely inappropriate but it seems pretty subtle in the photo. I would probably replace with black buttons. Probably not so flattering but you can't always tell from a photo.

The grandma version of the cropped jcrew version above -- not sure I like it as much.

I really like this .. but does it look too "i am going to an upscale mountain lodge?"

I think a black cardigan with black pants would be fine. Dressy blouse or shell underneath with pearls sounds perfect. I like choices 1 & 2 in your latest post.

Do you wear scarves? I can't remember. If so, I'd consider using one with the v-neck dress.

Took a very quick look at Poshmark 1x which may be too big. There are pages of choices, but the first two I saw were:

deegw-- that is brilliant! duh! Yes, I wear and love scarves -- i will give that a try tonight. I think I will need a new scarf if it works.. with a black dress, black scarf? black plaid?

The dress is a nice weight jersey wrap-- better quality than the ubiquitous black wrap dresses.

Fun, I know there are so many options on both ebay and Poshmark but I find the hunt soooo time consuming so right now, I really only want to go there if i have something specific identified to search for (meaning brand, style and size). That may change tomorrow.. but not likely.

Black dress & scarf w/EF suede boots or flats

If dresses don’t work then I would wear black pants w/sweater or blazer …dress up sweater w/all your beautiful jewelry …

I will definitely go through my closet and try things on. I appreciate the nudge to do so.

But ... i missed out on this dress last year in a beautiful neutral color. Just saw that it is back and in black. I suspect it is not made all that well (reviews conflict on quality) but I loooove the style and it is a shape that works well for me. With a change of jewelry and accessories, i would wear this throughout the fall/winter.. there is little overlap for the events I know are coming up.

Do you think it is too long for a funeral? I might wear a wide belt with it depending on where the waist falls.

Congrats on the weight loss!

I immediately thought of using a scarf to fill the neckline. Take a look at about min 1 for the infinity loop or min 5 for the waterfall to see some ways to fill in a neckline.

I like that last dress @Funkyart! Seems very you.

I was also reminded of a lightweight sweater dress from Talbots that kswl recommended that could be an option. I feel it is the kind of dress that would be pretty versatile. I tried it on but they only had it in a large at my store and it looked pretty dumpy on me. But I do think it has possiblilities in the right size.

ETA: Not sure what's up with the little photo...

Funky, one of the dresses I bought at Talbot’s is now 30% off, it’s a side zip dress with a V neck, which I think is your preferred neckline—but it’s not low or plunging. It is a very smooth fabric trimmed in faux leather, not hot at all and very flattering. I wore it last Monday when I sang at a friend’s funeral and received many compliments on the dress. It has an updated look (that will probably be passe in a few years but even at full price it wasn’t an investment piece.

The photo is a little misleading as the bottom half of the dress is slightly a-line, which is a bit more flattering to most figures. It hits right at the knee as shown. I wore it with black stockings and black and gray suede spectator almost flats (tiny kitten heel).

ETA… a well constructed jewel nect cropped jacket with big buttons is a good addition to your wardrobe in any— and every— color, but especially black and a black tweed.

Fortunately I don't have as much recent experience with funerals but ours are much less formal. While people do tend to wear darker colors, it's not the uniform black.

In any case, I would also strongly suggest shopping your closet. I'm certain that you can find something that is comfortable and appropriate and that you will look polished.

Thanks, Annie and Rubyclaire!

You know, I went to talbots first .. I almost always do check them first! We have local stores so returns are easy, so I have a lot of Talbots in my closet. Plus, I remembered Kswl's beautiful dresses! There were a few that would fit, I think-- but this season, their dresses don't really work for my lifestyle. The difference with the Anthro dress I posted last night is that it IS my style ... and I expect I will wear it at least a few times this season. Of course, it isn't 40% off like the Talbots dresses are.

I am trying really hard to not spend money on clothes that wont transition to next winter if I lose another 50lb next year. I did make an exception for the RL F&F sale last night though lol. I bought this top for a trip in December. If I can adjust the off the shoulder part to wear higher on my shoulders, this could work for the funeral too. I find a lot of these tops are pretty adjustable. We'll see.

<<ETA… a well constructed jewel nect cropped jacket with big buttons is a good addition to your wardrobe in any— and every— color, but especially black and a black tweed. >>

I totally agree-- I❤️ a jewel neck slightly shorter jacket with big or fun buttons! I love so much of what Jcrew has out this season but I am concerned about the cropped length. Talbots cropped is great for me-- but since Jcrew targets a younger age group, their cropped is scary to me lol! I have a long torso as is-- and a thicker middle than ideal. Maybe I should just try one.

I do really like the dress with leather trim, Kswl -- it is a style that has worked for me at higher weights and lower weights -- but it is a style that I think would need to fit perfectly and not transition with me if I lost another 20 or 30 lb. Still, you make a good point-- at the sale price it is not too much of a risk.

I am stressing over this a little more than needed. I am sad for this pending loss.. and there is another also (but I won't attend that funeral out of state). I have postponed a trip to be here to support my bff ... and on top of all that, i have a lot of work challenges right now. I am redirecting all my stress and emotions to this darn outfit. I WILL have something to wear and I know I will make it look nice. I need to chill out a little ;)

My sister is currently in hospice and I just ordered a dress for the funeral. I am not saying anyone here is wrong, I am just surprised at the choices. They seem so conservative. You have me second guessing my choice. On the other hand, her funeral will be so hard to be at and I don't want to be in something that is uncomfortable or overly dressy. I need the freedom to grieve without distraction. This is from Soft Surround. I have other dresses from their store that are similar in style and material (slight stretch) so I know it will be comfortable and fit. It was the easy answer and I am so emotionally worn that I don't know how I could get through a day of shopping.

Jennifer, I think there is a broad range of styles that are acceptable for a funeral. *I* wear a broad range of styles to funerals based on where it is held, the family, etc.

My area leans to fairly classic styles and my BFF (it is her father who is dying) has a very classic style. I know I don't want to stray too far from that look.

For my father's funeral, I wore a black jumpsuit-- not trendy and not professional but definitely comfortable and easy to wear on a very hot day. It worked in the catholic church and also graveside in the sunny, park-like setting and then at the luncheon afterward.

I think you can wear what YOU think is appropriate.

I am sorry your sister is in hospice ... my wishes for you and your family.

Jennifer, I'm so sorry to hear about your sister. I know it's going to be hard...it already is, but do try to live in the moment and don't anticipate the grief yet to come. It only makes today harder still. Let it come when it will.

The dress you posted looks comfortable but it would be too "tropical" or "casual" for our area, especially for immediate family. Most of the immediate family in our area goes very somber, while there's less formality among the guests. I think a solid, even if in a dark gray or navy instead of black, would be better than a print.

Perhaps something like this from Land's End is knit, comfortable and comes in a solid black: https://www.landsend.com/products/womens-lightweight-cotton-modal-34-sleeve-fit-and-flare-v-neck-dress/id_374129?attributes=8063,43307,43324,44256,44967

But your area may be different and your family and their expectations may be different.

While my area does tend to be more conservative and professional.. I am reminded of a few funerals where the family requested guests to dress to honor the deceased-- one in particular was for a neighbor/classmate of mine growing up. He was just so full of life.. always laughing. His favorite color was pink so they asked all guests to wear pink. I also attended a memorial service where we were all asked to wear florals-- the wilder the better.

I say do what feels right for you.

ETA… a well constructed jewel nect cropped jacket with big buttons is a good addition to your wardrobe in any— and every— color, but especially black and a black tweed.

I also agree with this except as a tall person I don’t think it must be cropped. A waist or hip length jacket works better for me.

Funkyart and Jennifer, I’m sad for both of you as you face the sadness. Have you looked at Eileen Fisher Renew yet? Occasionally I have found some jackets, mostly tweed-y fabrics, there. Her dresses are sort of meh for me. I always hate trying to find something at the last minute and wish you success in your hunt.

My dad died unexpectedly last month. In the midst of our shock and grief, I had to figure out something to wear. We just had a J McLaughlin open in our town, so I went there bc I was overwhelmed at the thought of going into the city to shop with all I had to do. The ladies were so kind and helpful…they found a perfectly plain, fitted, jewel neck black dress in that wonderful fabric they have that doesn’t wrinkle. It even had 3/4 sleeves which I love.

I wore pearls and black pumps. It comforted me to think that my DM(who passed away 4 years ago) would approve. Sometimes shopping in person can be a relief bc you immediately know if the item works…no waiting. I’m sorry for the loss of your friend’s dad, and I am sorry your sister is in hospice, Jennifer.

Oh, Nina.. so sorry for the loss of your dad. Hugs!

(and the dress is perfect!)

Thank you, Outside! I haven't looked at EF or EF renew. Ive been avoiding the site because I am trying not to buy clothes this season lol... but good idea to look for a jacket!

Jennifer, I think your dress is just fine, if it works for you, your family, etc. There was a thread not long ago on funeral attire and I had just attended a funeral and posted what I wore. Someone posted in response that funeral attire in their area was much more somber and conservative. Apparently my area is less so. I didn't wear anything inappropriate (and it was a HOT day and a graveside service). I knew pretty well what would be worn. I'm sorry to hear about your sister. My family has used Hospice and had a wonderful experience with them. I hope the same for your sister and family. Nini I am so sorry to hear about the passing of your father. It's so hard!

I’m sorry you are going through this. I like both the Talbot’s and the Lands End dresses a lot. I would shop my closet and for most memorials I would wear something black or navy, but fortunately I have a lot of both those colors in my closet.

Jennifer I am very sorry your sister is in hospice care and hope her passing is peaceful and pain free. I think you were wise to have selected something to wear in advance of the need for it, as that is one big chore you won’t have to thhink about.

Annie I like the cut of that Land’s end dress a lot. I don’t need another black dress and the other colors and patterns are so drab 🙁 I wish LE would overhaul their color style.!

OK so I am going to buy a scarf for sure -- whether I wear this dress or not, I will always get a lot of wear from a scarf. I have seen many that I like but not many that feel appropriate either in color or pattern. I want something pretty that works well with black but doesn't stand out or contrast too much.

This is the dress that needs a scarf (note: it is lower on me than the model-- i consider it a date night dress)

Questions:

1. do you like the scarf with it? I would wear it pretty much as she is wearing it over the sweater. I know it is a little rustic but i think of it as "rustic elegant" ... also, I love boucle and it is a great color for me (as long as it leans pink/purple in person and not burgundy/red)

2. This is about where the skirt falls on me-- maybe a touch higher but not much. Is this too long? I'd rather not get it hemmed but I'd consider it.

And this is the scarf I am considering. Dress is med weight jersey. Scarf is wool and alpaca boucle. It is reportedly lightweight but warm (a bonus).

Thanks for your continued support.

I love the dress and the boucle scarf !

Hoping the color IS in the pink purple colorway.

Sorry, no. To me this scarf looks like a shawl, made to wear outside like a jacket.

I'm thinking a thin silk scarf that can be tucked into the v neck or tied in a decorative way.

I once wore a scarf just knotted to cover over a too low cut sweater.

Is it going to very cold?

This is the idea. But lower the knot above cleavage.

It IS cold now-- and the funeral will likely be late Oct/early Nov.

Sorry, I won't tuck a scarf into the V ... I don't want my cleavage on show but I am not going to start stuffing things into it either. I I'll wear something else if it comes to that. I will wear a shawl/wrap draped across some or all of the top though.

I can try a scarf knotted at the v like you suggest-- not sure about it on me with such a long dress and that style always makes me think of flight attendants lol.

I did buy the scarf-- but only because it will be very versatile for me. I can look for another scarf for the dress.

Irish.. unrelated to this topic: have you seen the new MZ Wallace colors? Sister got the fig color (forget the name) and it is really pretty (but not for me). I am tempted to try the Moss. It will either be great or terrible lol! I wish i could see it in person!

For this time of year, I like the boucle scarf with the longer dress. I think the scarf will take the "date night" out of the dress, as well as less strappy, more conservative shoes than the model is wearing.

My condolences to you and your friend, Funky, as well as to Jennifer and Nini.

@Funkyart Yes I did see /look at the new colors on MZWallace. I had purchased this last month because I know I will use often in my daily outings. Don’t be an influencer like some others on this forum ☺️

Love the scarf / shawl and would def wear it with the dress, probably with a good-sized brooch to keep it situated as you want around your shoulders. If you have shoes in the purple or aubergine range i’d wear them with the dress and scarf. If it were me I would hem the dress about two inches. .You won’t be sorry; the more weight you lose the lower it will hang, so you’ll be futureproofing it in a way.