"But to reiterate something I said above, if you live in a house from any decade that needs a new kitchen, are you really going to put in a kitchen that matches the decade of the house? People just don't."

A kitchen can be both new and honor the essence of the house.

Jennifer, I can appreciate your dismay since my first home as an adult was a 1920s craftsman bungalow with pristine original woodwork that the next owners painted. I thought it looked awful, but the owners after them changed the whole color scheme to sage and cream and it looked great. The house has sold a couple of times since then and was gray and white in the last listing photos. To me it was cold and unappealing, but it sold for almost ten times what we paid for it... times and tastes change.

The buyers of my family’s 1920s home in the SF Bay Area put wall to wall red plaid over the hardwood flooring and stairs. My parents had a collection of Persian carpets. To each their own.

While I can appreciate beautiful stained woodwork, I really don't care for it in my home, and I kind of resent if people tell me that I absolutely have to leave it. I do agree that the kitchen in the home that Jennifer Hogan posted does not match the rest of the house at all.

A kitchen can be both new and honor the essence of the house.

I am finding that, over time, this seems to be very difficult to achieve: there is generally something that ends up being "off", that doesn't seem off at the time it was done because it was something that was part of a larger trend. A white shaker kitchen with white subway tile has been and still is touted as something that it so classic it fits into just about any house anywhere at any time. for example.

The kitchen doesn't go with the other photos you posted. But as my DH likes to say "the check cleared."

I could write a long short story on this subject. We built a custom home on 5 acres with lake and mountain views. HOA rules. The house fit in with the land. Gorgeous real stone garage and other stone accents on the house. The next/current owners painted the exterior stark white. It had unfitted style kitchen cabinetry made in England, and they painted most white and one hutch light grey. Even the coffered ceiling beams in the kitchen are now stark white. They removed handmade Hubbarton Forge fixtures all over the house and installed shiny gold modern fixtures. Everything in the house in modern now. We had 2 offers, and the one we did not take loved the house and even wanted whatever art I did not want to take so they wouldn't have to repaint.

Our last house was an whole house remodel - interior and landscaping. It was built by ny parents and they lived there 35yrs until their deaths. Again, 2 offers with one not wanted to change a thing, as her furniture would fit in nicely. But the new owners bastardized the house and made the interior modern. And not in a good way. As much as they spent, they could have biult a new house.

I think the problem is that people don't know what to do so they do what everyone else is doing -- the sheeple. There seems to be an almost complete lack of individuality in homes anymore,

First,I strongly suspect that there are two kinds of people in this world... Those who follow trends and those who follow trends but lie to themselves about it.

This forum can be ruthless when people actually do express their individualism in a way that others don't agree with. I like cooking on my island and hate a cooktop or range on a wall... Almost every poster would tell me I was wrong if I posted my kitchen plan... so let's not pretend anyone here actually celebrates individuality. I can think of dozens of times people have been told they don't need....

Furthermore, they sold the home. If you plan on selling a house in the near future, then you definitely should give up some individuality for something in higher demand.

"...so let's not pretend anyone here actually celebrates individuality. "

That's not a fair comment. Many of us do just that, and many of us have kitchens and homes that are reflections of our own tastes. I admire lots of things that aren't to my particular taste but are well done and in keeping with the flavor of the home -- I'll call it when I see it, even if I wouldn't personally want it. Well done is well done, regardless of the style.

Sheeple is too strong of a term. There is more to trends than saying that people are sheeple. I think it’s more like the term “zeitgeist”, which means “spirit of the times”. I think that explains why trends become trends, and why masses of people are drawn to similar looks. There’s almost something “woo-woo” about it.

First,I strongly suspect that there are two kinds of people in this world... Those who follow trends and those who follow trends but lie to themselves about it.

I think there are really more like five kinds of people:

People who set trends.

People who follow the trends openly.

People who follow trends but claim that they do not.

People who know what the trends are, and chose to go their own way intentionally

People who have no idea what the trends are, could care less about trends, could care less about design, just don't think any of it is important at all.

Really I think you will only see the middle three groups here. Someone who sets trends really isn't interested in what people are already doing. In general terms they are aware of trends playing out because they are developing the next one.

People who don't care at all about trends would find this forum a complete waste of time. They inadvertently end up following trends because they buy what is readily available. So they may end up with some kitchen items from Target in the Pantone Color of the Year without realizing it. They don't know, they don't care, but they end up with it because they buy what they can pick up when they need it.

I think people who follow trends and people who follow trends but claim not to are the largest population in the forum. That's who these forums are for, primarily. This isn't high design in here--it never really was, but it is even less so presently. This is design by consensus, and the consensus is that you follow the trends and if you don't you are making a series of huge mistakes.

There are people here who know what the trends are and chose to go their own way intentionally. They are here because they are interested in design, but generally they are smart enough to not really post anything that is actually built or finished in the forums to be criticized, because it will get criticized. They speak out in general terms about alternative approaches to things, but the ideas generally get lost in the consensus, or in the case of the kitchen forum get bludgeoned to death. If you want base cabinets that are not all drawers, a wall oven mounted undercounter, or a cooktop on an island, if you are not completely talked out of it in short order, you are just dismissed as someone who is so obtuse and stubborn, and too stupid to know what's really good for you. If you've had a personal positive experience with any of these ouliers in real life --well it's just because you haven't lived in the right world. You aren't even allowed to have any of these things out of comparative, well-considered personal preference. If that's your personal preference you are wrong.

"...so let's not pretend anyone here actually celebrates individuality. "

That's not a fair comment.

But it's not exactly an Unfair comment. There is an orthodoxy here. Individuality is generally dismissed as having bad taste.

Of course some individuality is actually bad taste, but that's sometimes hard to sort out.

The thing is that some conformity to trends is bad taste because the entire trend is in bad taste. Some of the things that have been heavily promoted and adopted in these forums over the years have been hideous, but they are on trend so you don't realize it at the time, it's only when it isn't aging very well in a relatively short period of time that it becomes apparent that it was never in good taste to begin with.

I completely understand why you would be attached to something that you helped restore, but I actually agree with the previous owners. I am not a fan of wood highlights.

Here is what I think a house that features woodwork should look like.

or if you don't want all that wood you can tie in to a wood feature like this...

Those are both a far cry from this...

The wood in the last photo isn't being used to tie a major wood feature together, you are just putting wood trim around doors and windows along with a wood crown and making that the feature. I guess there is nothing wrong with that, but it reminds me too much of this

which is pretty much every mobile home I have had the pleasure of visiting.

This is not to say that you are wrong, or that I am right, I just have a different opinion than you. To be fair, if this was a house that I wanted to live in, I would probably add a wood feature before removing the wood, but I would certainly not keep it that way.

Well to me that's kinda like saying there's no difference between a 1954 Chevy Bel Air and a 1981 Chevy Citation because they are both cars and they are both blue, but okay.

I am not much of a trend follower, and I admire a lot of different styles and do appreciate when people make a home their own.

I also value high quality materials and workmanship. The homes that have stood for 100 years were well built and often used materials that most of us would have a difficult time procuring or affording. There are species of hardwoods that were used 100 years ago that are now vulnerable, endangered or extinct. (American Chestnut, African Mahogany, Brazilian Rosewood . . . ) Many of the woods harvested from old growth forests were so much denser and harder than the same species of wood that is available today. It simply can't be replaced.

I have no problem with someone going into a standard tract home built in the 1970s and painting the entire inside white. What are you covering with the paint? Does it make a difference? Are we covering anything of any value?

Many of the homes built between 1900 and 1930 were not anything terribly special. My grandfather built row homes in one neighborhood in my home town. These were small (700-1200 sf) homes that were built as housing for the mill workers (Bethlehem Steel). They weren't stand alone Craftsman, Victorian or Tudor homes with beautiful trim and stained glass windows. They were as basic a home as you can imagine.

Go ahead and paint away. Your not covering anything special.

When you think that less than 10% of all homes in the US were built prior to 1930, and a large number of these are simple row homes or have not been well kept it leaves a pretty small percentage of homes that have anything worth preserving.

Out of curiosity I looked at prices for trim at Menards - craftsman style 3/4" x 3 1/2" x 7'

Walnut 83.59

Pine $8.98 per board.

Propack primed MDF (12 boards) 69.99 / 5.83 per board.

I really cannot understand why someone take something that costs $7/ linear ft and make it look like it costs less than $1/linear ft. Doesn't make sense to me.

As for the kitchen, I was thinking of keeping these pictures to share when people ask questions about colors and styles for their kitchen renovation and I ask "What do the adjoining rooms look like?" To me, it makes a difference. I like when the rooms in a home all have a similar feel. They don't need to be identical, but it feels disjointed and wrong when a room is plopped into a home and doesn't relate to anything else. The sterile gray kitchen looks like it belongs in another home.

I do really appreciate all the feedback. Love hearing other's thoughts.

I do agree that it doesn't impact my day to day life one bit and I won't spend any time worrying about what the next person or the one after that does to the house.

I am sure that when I am dead and gone someone will come into my home and paint over or replace the purple red and green slate and won't think a minute about the fact that unfading red slate is extremely rare and incredibly expensive.

It was one of the things I loved most about the home when I bought it, but it isn't what most people want today.

I think, in general in our society, there is a lack of appreciation for survivors.

The house was probably not anything particularly special as built, it may have even been a kit house. It's not as detailed as the one real house and the one fake house that bry911 posted (I think the second picture is either completely fake or heavily enhanced).

But it still has nicer woodwork than that going into much nicer houses today. And it was still probably better built than many new houses. And whether or not the house is spectacular or the house is a trailer, there is something to be said for Either of those if they have survived in good original condition.

I also think there is a trend in our society to make things that aren't cheap Look cheap. All you have to do is look at a lot of designer fashion and at celebrities and things that people aspire to. There have always been things at the upper end of the market that have been extremely flashy and vulgar and over the top. But I think that this has become more the norm. Subtlety and classic sophistication are boring. The white millwork covering almost all new construction IS cheap wood, if it is wood at all, even in very expensive houses, so it wouldn't look nice stained even if you wanted it. So people see this new construction, want to emulate it and do. But they are emulating the cheapness of the finishes more than anything else, without realizing it.

Don't get me wrong, I like white woodwork, and some woodwork no matter how nice was always meant to be painted. (The 1830s and 1840s houses I lived in had beautiful woodwork, 100% painted from day one). But I do think part of it is a tendency to Want to make things look as generic as possible.

Thoughts on trends.

For a trend to be a trend, you need a bunch of people doing the same thing.

You can hardly have a trend without followers.

Will a lot of people be trend followers - that is kind of a given.

"First, I strongly suspect that there are two kinds of people in this world... Those who follow trends and those who follow trends but lie to themselves about it. "

Okay - which category do I fit in?

I like MCM and Danish design, but have liked MCM/Danish design long before it became a popular trend. Started decorating my home with MCM furnishings in the 1980s. I was actually pretty disappointed when it became so popular and suddenly the prices of MCM furniture soared.

I painted my home white on white nearly 30 years ago.

I painted my home taupe (purple undertones) when everyone else was doing Tuscan or Builder's beige and pink undertones were taboo.

I am renovating my current home and painting some rooms with my beloved taupe (My favorite colors are purple, red and teal and taupe is the perfect backdrop for my art and décor that I have collected over the past 40+ years). This time I picked a rosier tone - more pink than purple to work with the pink brick fireplace wall that separates my foyer and living room. My kitchen is going to have smoky purple cabinets and red walls (relating to the purple, red and green slate in the foyer).

If it were up to me every homeowner would start with the colors that they love and develop their design based on the colors they love, their personality and how they live their lives.

Not everyone is brave enough to do things based on what they love. Half the time when I suggest to someone that they should start with the colors they love I get a response similar to "I like white walls and trim or I like neutrals."

They have no idea that the white or neutral they choose should complement the colors in their art and décor and if they love bright lime green they may want to pick a different neutral or than if they love olive green and burnt orange or love cornflower blue and peach.

Jennifer, I have a soft spot for Danish Modern, as my parents remodeled a condemned house before I was born, and furnished it with some DM furniture. I currently use their full size bed (it was the late 50's after all!) and tall dresser in my room at DD2's house. Their son used in their last house, and he is still using the night tables and long dresser. I have two of their Woodard Sculptura arm chairs (DD2 has two) and slate top dining table with Sculptura base. DD2 has their medium blue leather high back, which has a long immediate family history and a tragic ending. So much so, I won't sit in the chair.

They had the sofa too, but the leather sit was cracked for decades of use and Mom made him donate about 20yrs ago. He never got over it. LOL He considered having the leather taken off the back and new seat cushions made. The pillow and shawl belonged to each of my grandmothers.

I agree with you that you should start with the colors you love, your personality and how you live. I used massive doses of paint color in our last home, which warmed the rooms and gave me comfort. I will do this again, eventually, but not in our current home.

bry911 - Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. My mom always told us "More isn't always better, sometimes it is just more."

Your first picture is an example of just more. It doesn't allow the wood to be the star it is just a lot of wood.

Craftsman style homes had wood floors, wood doors and heavy wood trim. Some had built ins that were also wood, some did not. When furnished with wood furnishings this can be the perfect balance.

https://stylebyemilyhenderson.com/blog/soulful-craftsman-house

The home you are posting about looks nothing like either of those pictures. I can find nice celebrations of wood that are not quite as heavy handed yet still let the wood come through as an important design element, such as this one…

However, your picture doesn’t look anything like that. The weight of the wood in the room is completely different than either of the examples you recently supplied. One of which isn’t craftsman at all.

I don’t like the look because I have seen it too many times… buying $9 per foot molding doesn’t give a home a craftsman feel. It looks like a different version of this to me

Which is fine. That is quite literally a picture that someone has posted on the internet to inspire others. However, I contend that someone isn’t committing any great travesty by painting that molding either.

@bry911

So you think this is more similar

than this

or this

I don't even know how to address anything this nonsensical.

I think it is in poor taste to post someone’s house on the internet to make fun of it. These people didn’t even post their home apparently… the previous owner did.

Maybe that is coloring my perceptions, but yes… I think adding wood crown and wide wood door and window casings to a house and calling that craftsman is tantamount to putting a Mercedes emblem on a Chrysler.

ETA: To respond specifically to your post. I don't like contrasting wood molding, I think it cheapens the look of a home. Specifically I think it looks like someone trying to pretend their home is different than what it is, rather than embracing what it is. I am not alone in this, wood molding was incredibly common in my area and no one here buys houses like that. I flip houses like that all the time and I always ditch the wood molding... a lot of people just don't like it.

In the picture with blue walls the weight of the wood is different, it is much heavier than the small crown you are so attached to and the blue walls add warmth to the whole space rather than hit you over the head with it. The second photo looks more MCM than craftsman and is not something I find appealing, so if that was the goal. Congrats.

Don't you think it's a bit disingenuous in a Design Forum to say in what bad taste it is to post pictures of someone's house and then make fun of it? This entire site is built around posting pictures of interior design or architecture that the OP doesn't like, with the intent to change it.

Okay, maybe the house now belongs to the OP, but the house obviously belonged to someone else who did the "hideous"--a frequently used word-- thing that the new owner wants to change. It is either politely or less politely criticized, often less politely.

The OP did not get invited or sneak into this house and take a bunch of photos that the owners were unaware of and post them on the internet for entertainment. This is a real estate listing. Real estate listings are public and are fair game for criticism, which many listings, even nice ones, get a lot of. And I am not sure that an opinion that someone ruined woodwork by painting it is making fun, it's an opinion, it's a disagreement with something that was done.

@bry911

I think it is in poor taste to post someone’s house on the internet to make fun of it.

First - I don't know that I would describe my post as "making fun". I was expressing my sadness that the owners repainted the trim and that of all the choices they could have made, they picked a modern, stark gray kitchen for a home that is warm and historic. It does make me sad and I am sorry if that offends you.

Second - Didn't you use pictures of other people's homes in your posts? I think most of us use examples we find on the internet to show what we are talking about all the time.

" I think adding wood crown and wide wood door and window casings to a house and calling that craftsman is tantamount to putting a Mercedes emblem on a Chrysler. "

I didn't specify where this home is or show the exterior of the home, simply stating that it was built in 1920,

This home is part of a historic district in an NYC suburb. No changes are allowed to the exteriors without permission of the historical society. The historical society describes the homes as being Colonial, Victorian and Craftsman. I am pretty sure this isn't considered Colonial or Victorian. The wood species is American Chestnut, so likelihood is that it was original to the home since American Chestnuts were all but destroyed by the blight in the early 1900s.

I'll be sure to let the historical society know that you think they are wrong based on your self proclaimed expertise in all matters.

I do recognize that the blue room had heavier weight crown, but the window frames, door frames and baseboards were all similar weight.

The second picture I posted is part of the same home with the blue room. Provided the link in my post.

Didn't you use pictures of other people's homes in your posts? I think most of us use examples we find on the internet to show what we are talking about all the time.

The difference being that I am using pictures from design sites, blogs, or advertisements. So those people are literally posting their own pictures on the internet or allowing them to be posted specifically related to design. I am not looking up the pictures of someone's house that they didn't themselves make available and posting them.

This home is part of a historic district in an NYC suburb. No changes are allowed to the exteriors without permission of the historical society. The historical society describes the homes as being Colonial, Victorian and Craftsman. I am pretty sure this isn't considered Colonial or Victorian. The wood species is American Chestnut, so likelihood is that it was original to the home since American Chestnuts were all but destroyed by the blight in the early 1900s.

I'll be sure to let the historical society know that you think they are wrong based on your self proclaimed expertise in all matters.

Are you telling me that these pictures are craftsman style?

They may well be in a Craftsman style home, but they are not Craftsman style. The last one is the specific picture that I noted didn't seem Craftsman style to me. Feel free to contend it is all day long, but I don't care if the Pope ordained it as such... I disagree. I am waiting to see all the examples of thin black window frames and white painted casings in Craftsman style homes...

That is the real irony here. That home in your link is a celebration of Craftsman style and look at that first picture in this post. If this were craftsman style do you really think that frame around that doors was always white and that bench was always blue. You literally posted a picture of someone who painted the wood to support your case against painting wood.

@bry911 - those are not the pictures of my sister's home. The pictures on my original post were of my sister's home and the ones with the crown that you thought did not match the other photo.

Your like a teenager trying to wiggle their way out when their parents caught them in a lie.

those are not the pictures of my sister's home.

You posted two pictures in your defense of your sister's Craftsman style....

Here is the first one.

And here is the second one...

Here is my post that you said was incorrect...

In the picture with blue walls the weight of the wood is different, it is much heavier than the small crown you are so attached to and the blue walls add warmth to the whole space rather than hit you over the head with it. The second photo looks more MCM than craftsman and is not something I find appealing, so if that was the goal.

I understood that the second picture wasn't from your sister's home. I guess I should have made it more clear by again reposting the picture but I thought since I was clearly discussing that post it would be clear that I meant the second picture in that post. My apologies.

Do you have pictures of the kitchen before it was redone? Maybe I will see your point when I see the actual change, maybe the kitchen was the space that really carried the Craftsman weight and the other pictures will make more sense then.

Again, I don't love the particular look of contrasting wood highlights... I just don't and I would have redone that room also. You don't have to agree with me and there is no reason to try to sway my opinion. I just don't like it, but I do like wood. I am actually typing this from my office which has floor to ceiling wood wainscoting.

Again, I don't love the particular look of contrasting wood highlights... I just don't and I would have redone that room also. You don't have to agree with me and there is no reason to try to sway my opinion. I just don't like it, but I do like wood. I am actually typing this from my office which has floor to ceiling wood wainscoting.

@bry911 - Aren't you doing exactly what you finger-wagged about? You just made negative comments about someone else's design choices.

I posted two pictures that came from a blog about a craftsman home that was restored stating that wood does not need to dominate to be a feature. More isn't always better.

It wasn't in defense of my sister's craftsman style it was an argument against your view that wood has to cover every square inch of a room to be a feature.

"Here is what I think a house that features woodwork should look like."

You just made negative comments about someone else's design choices.

I did no such thing. I have been careful to note that I don't like it but that others may find it appealing.

As someone who doesn't really appreciate it, I find it complexly reasonable that someone would want to change it. My defense of the previous owner's reasonableness doesn't denigrate anyone's design choice.

I am not looking up the pictures of someone's house that they didn't themselves make available

The owners did make the photos available when they signed a contract to list their house on the MLS with photos.

The difference being that I am using pictures from design sites, blogs, or advertisements. So those people are literally posting their own pictures on the internet or allowing them to be posted specifically related to design.

This is simply not true. While some of the photos they post are their own, many are not. Often they do not bother to give a source or have permission to post a photo. I have witnessed this personally several times when several companies used photos of my homes without permission or source credit, and one company even photoshopped their accessories all over my ktichen to sell their inventory. Bloggers used photos found online and use on their blogs, almost always used without source listed.

@bry911

Sure you did -

I don't love the look

I would have redone that room

I just don't like it

I'm not going to get into a silly back-and-forth about this. Enjoy your New Year's Eve.

@Jennifer Hogan - You are mischaracterizing my post. Seriously... The very next line said "or if you don't want all that wood you can tie in to a wood feature like this..." I then provided a picture of wood feature.

In the link you used here is another room...

So while the wood feature doesn't dominate every room, it certainly seems like heavy molding ties into the wood features of the entire home. They didn't just put wood molding and casings up, in every room.

The owners did make the photos available when they signed a contract to list their house on the MLS with photos.

I am not the first person to comment on this, in fact, the post with the most likes in this thread said the same thing. However, as a correction... the previous owners made the photos available when they signed a contract to list their house on the MLS with photos. It sold last year and so far as we know the new owners haven't made the pictures available.

I was the first to like ShadyWillowFarm’s post and have a history of making the same observation when people post listing photos to poke fun of them, which happens occasionally.

ETA: I don't understand why people are taking issue with my post when ShadyWillowFarm posted the same thing two days ago with no problem.

ETA2: On that note. I am done here. I don't understand how people are pretending that my saying "I don't like it" means that someone else is wrong. I literally said, I don't like IPA's do you think that I am telling other people what beer to drink? It seems just want to take issue so... I am going to stop notifications.

It sold last year and so far as we know the new owners haven't made the pictures available

The new owners do not own the listing photos. The RE agent, or homeowner if FSBO, do.

@bry911 "I don't understand why people are taking issue with my post when ShadyWillowFarm posted the same thing two days ago with no problem."

Let me help you understand. ShadyWillowFarm posted the sentiment first. No one commented their agreement, including you. ShadyWillowFarm also made no other comment regarding their opinion of the house or the kitchen. It was clear that they didn't like what I had done and they were not going to participate. I respect their right to have this opinion.

It wasn't until after you made multiple comments, said my sister's home reminded you of a trailer and then compared it to a completely generic room with 2" cheap molding and I dismissed your comment as nonsense that you retorted with the "I think it is in poor taste to post someone’s house on the internet to make fun of it." and continued to make more disparaging remarks about the house.

Your comment didn't feel genuine. It felt like you were deflecting and defensive and being mean spirited.

You could have simply stated that you prefer white trim and would have changed the whole home without comparing the house to a trailer or to the other generic room, without stating that you didn't think it was a genuine craftsman home or inferring that the trim was not original to the house. All the ugly remarks weren't necessary.

@Jennifer Hogan - “You could have simply stated that you prefer white trim and would have changed the whole home without comparing the house to a trailer or to the other generic room”

I could have, but that would have been a lie. I don’t prefer white trim. I love wood architectural elements. The house I grew up in had an entrance with a wooden staircase and wooden wainscoting to the ceiling. The wood elements were carried throughout the first floor with fireplaces surrounded by wood bookshelves. My father’s office which was right off the entrance, had wood floors, walls, and ceilings. I love wood in a home.

However, I grew up in an area where homes were generally less nice. In my area there were not a lot of craftsman style homes, there were a lot of homes that bought into the slab wood doors, wood window casing, & wood crown molding phase of the 1980’s. That look eventually caught on in the manufactured home industry and then everyone started hating it. I, being one of the sheeple and I suppose a bit elitist, now generally don’t like wood molding without a bigger wood element to tie into.

I sincerely apologize to you for any comment that I made that offended you. I am far too verbose and in an effort to curb that I sometimes leave out too much and end up too abrasive. My purpose wasn’t to say that you are wrong, just to provide a different perspective to make the decision to change things more relatable. If you grew up in an area with more craftsman style homes and fewer manufactured homes, then I understand your perspective may be different and so I have been careful to note that my opinions are only mine.

Again, I am sorry I offended you.

I have consistently objected when people post listing photos to poke fun of them, which happens occasionally. I believe I was the first person to like ShadyWillow’s post, and have a history of posting that same thing.

My bias is to always stand up for people being picked on and that gotten me beat up, figuratively and literally, several times in the past. When I see people, who didn’t even post their home, being called “sheeple”, I am going to step in and fight for them. If this discourse hadn’t gone that general direction I wouldn’t have likely stepped in any further. I know you didn’t have that intention with your post, and I respect you because I have seen you step in to defend posters in the past. So, I am sorry that I upset you.

I said the remark or sentiment was disingenuous after seeing it in the thread twice. I think it's disingenuous almost every time I read it in a thread, which happens only every so often but fairly regularly. First, because a good portion of this website consists of criticism about what someone has already done and how to go about changing it. Another portion is about criticism of what someone is About to do, and that is frequently harsher

Secondly, I think the sentiment gets trotted out when someone doesn't like something about the thread in general, someone feels they need to strengthen their stance if it goes against the general direction of the thread, someone doesn't like the OP to begin with, or someone is in a bad mood to begin with. How easier to derail a thread by trying to make everybody feel guilty for participating in it in the first place? Especially those who disagree with you.

The only time posting about how rude it is to post pictures of someone's house so you can make fun of it makes any sense is when that is actually what the thread is about. There are threads like that on occasion, there are entire websites dedicated to it as well. And yet I rarely see that objection brought up in those actual threads, especially if the house is expensive, because making fun of the excesses and "more money than taste" of the rich is always open season.

When “how sad” is part of the thread title, the OP’s intention is clear.

I said the remark or sentiment was disingenuous after seeing it in the thread twice. I think it's disingenuous almost every time I read it in a thread, which happens only every so often but fairly regularly. [...] First, because a good portion of this website consists of criticism about what someone has already done

Well, respectfully, I genuinely think posting someone's pictures without their permission in order to denigrate them is in poor taste. I think that it is in poor taste every time that it is done, which is somewhat regularly. That is distinctly different than criticizing something that someone has posted asking for feedback.

Intent matters... it always has. Posting something with the express purpose of denigrating it is distinctly different than being critical of posters who have asked for feedback or even using posts to better demonstrate an idea.

ETA: Now... I have a nice big slab of walnut that was delivered right before Christmas that I am going to go play with. If it makes everyone feel better... I promise not to paint it white.

@ShadyWillowFarm - Maybe some people are far more subversive then me. I am generally an open book. When I said "how sad" I sincerely meant that seeing the pictures made me sad. I used the "Decorating Conversations" and "Paint" designations vs "Design Dilemma" as I felt this was truly a conversation than a dilemma. My feelings, my opinion.

I was saddened by the painting of the trim that worked so beautifully with my sister's Queen Anne antique furnishings.

I also thought the kitchen renovation was wrong for the house.

I know you often post on this forum and often on the same posts that I have made comment. You may or may not have noticed that almost every time someone asks what color to paint a room or what colors to use in their kitchens I ask what color the adjoining rooms are and provide advice on creating a whole home color palette. I always feel bad for posters who come to us after a renovation asking how to make something work that could have worked so much better if they had asked for advice prior to messing it up.

This wasn't about making fun, it was about expressing my feelings.

@bry911

Sorry - I was called away - meant to answer you and not just let you hang.

I appreciate your apology and gratefully accept your apology.

I do understand that we tend to judge things based on our own experience. I grew up and live in Pennsylvania Dutch Country that is rich in history.

You can express feelings and still refrain from publicly ridiculing someone else’s redo of a house. Obviously they did not like what you did with the house because they changed it, but they did not post pictures on a world wide website with negative comments about how sad your taste is.

@ShadyWillowFarm - how do we know they didn't post somewhere on a design forum? Maybe they did. I wouldn't be offended if they did. I would have offered them my advice and explained why I wouldn't have made the choices they were thinking about making. Who knows, if they did post and ask for advice they may have made a different choice.

This is why we can’t have nice things.

I just made a post, but don’t see it.

Jennifer, you did nothing wrong. You are always so generous and thoughtful with your advice to others, and posted this in Home Decorating Conversations about something that’s meaningful to you. It didn’t hurt anyone.

Happy New Year. :)

Well I'm a little late to this one. I agree with most the kitchen is a mismatch. I have nothing more meaningful to add there.
On the posting and commenting on photos from a listing of someone else's home I'd say that's relatively innocuous to some of the more egregious ridiculing and invasions of privacy happening all over social media. It's quite probable that at some point any of us were secretly recorded in public so some Instagramer or TikToker could ridicule us for how we look, how much we weigh, what we are wearing, saying, eating, how we are ordering etc. Faces included and all. I've sadly seen examples of this. And you would likely have no idea that it's happened unless someone you know happened to see it and fwd it to you. If you're going to pick a battle that's the one you should pick. Not this! (but good luck!)

I love the gray kitchen in the OP, and I see nothing wrong with it. Whoever paid for the house and owns it gets to revise it as they want - people often say that they "want to put their stamp on it," and no one gets to tell them what that stamp should be. Some people buy houses to flip, and they revise them according to what will give them the best return for their money, and in this case, the new buyers are the ones who determine the how a house should be revised.

I've read The Futurist Manifesto by Filippo Tommaso Marinetti, published in 1909, and while I do not agree with most of it, I do appreciate Antonio Sant’Elia's architectural designs and his desires to have them built.

I've seen lots of beautiful old houses in Mexico City torn down so that modern high rises could replace them, and while it can be sad that the old houses are gone, it is beneficial to have more space available for more people to live in.

Houses are supposed to please the people who live in them - this is part of capitalism, like it or not.

I like wood but I do not like dark trim. It creates an outline on all the walls that I think is busy. Houses are often redone and then restored and then redone. It's fashion.