I'm sorry for your loss. No parent should go through that.

You've had nothing on the walls for 4 years?

There are lots of re-moveable decals and wallpaper that are not permanent choices. Narrow it down to 3 options and let him pick which one he likes best.

Even if you don't decide on anything else, at least get him a new bed.

Forgot to add that we just moved in back in June. I made an agreement that I wouldn’t paint or do anything to the walls for at least a year because we didn’t want our warranty people to try and blame any issues to modifications we made to the house.

if he is interested in a fort idea... whu not introduce a loft bed. great for imagination!

creative minds... lots of options, affordable Wayfair pottery barn etc. Let him help pick it out!

https://nlcagn.shop/products/euroco-wood-twin-loft-bed-with-full-platform-bed-and-drawers-for-kids-7193062?currency=USD&variant_sku_code=9174784-8091491-42705409-0-0-0-0&srsltid=AfmBOoqkCctiGxisWo-O1CA_-9aqTnoLSmajGhsagvGEl-DFklNvxhRP2gE

Aimee,

You have no doubt been in serious mourning and I am truly sorry for your loss. The pain of losing your child never fades. You are not alone. Let's help you find a direction to create a space that your boy can enjoy and celebrate the good things around him. He deserves some fun.

I would say start with a color that he likes. And then create a space that can change slightly over time. Say he likes green, start with green bed covers, linens... and then add some fun creative things like pillow with green dinos or lizards. These pillows won't be around when he is 16 but the bedcovering might be. Or if he likes race cars and red, get a bedcover that is red and maybe some curtains. You can keep the walls neutral but accent with fabric.

Since he likes forts have you thought about creating a fort in his room?

This one may be too high.. But this room below could work for a small boy or a teenager.

notice how great fabric can transform a white room

I'm a big boy now

I love this bed. Especially for a 4 year old

What a great loss to be dealing with. I can understand why you are being so sensitive to making things lovely for your 4-yr old.

Upper bunk beds can be a pain to care for. I would stick with one bed unless maybe a trundle, if you have young relatives or friends sleeping over— but remember, little kids do great with a sleeping bag or pile of quilts on the floor!

I think there are tent - like structures that can fit on the bed. Or even a small one on the floor , to play “ fort”. Does the crib convert to small bed, to remove the railing feel, as a transition? Hopefully he can get excited about choosing color, fun pattern or theme, with less emphasis on “ new bed”.

I understand wanting things to be perfect for him - but also, please know that they don't have to be. They never are, anyway, and wanting them to be that way will just set you up for disappointment. And definitely don't let that need paralyze you! It doesn't have to be perfect AT ALL. And all of those pictures of really cool pinterest kids' rooms, while really awesome, take a huge amount of effort and unless you have a very fastidious child, won't look that way for long. I really hope you cut yourself some slack in this process!

Definitely time to move him into a big boy bed (even if you're not ready, he is). You don't even have to buy a frame - you can just put the mattress on the floor. He's old enough to learn pretty quickly how to stay in bed but you still probably want to do either a mattress on the floor or a bolster at first. For the MOST flexibility, consider a bed tent. The loft beds etc. all look cool but might lose their luster too soon to make up for the cost. If you really want to go that route but don't want to spend a fortune, if you're handy you can find the plans to build them online.

If a bed tent isn't something you want to do, try an ACTUAL play tent. We have one in our daughter's room and all her friends love being in it. She's even slept in it a few times. His room is really large so you have a lot of space to use - a tent would be a good addition.

I would skip built-ins, as they are permanent, expensive, and might never be used.

With respect to the walls - ask HIM what HE would like. I doubt he'd ask for wallpaper. Maybe he'd like a color (as long as you are OK with repainting in a year or two). Or maybe he'd want some decals. I think decals are GREAT and Etsy has a bunch in whatever theme you could think of. And the walls don't have to look like theyr'e ready for pinterest - he won't care, he will just love that he has something he likes on the walls, period.

Are all of his clothes in his closet? Can he reach them? If not consider just getting him a dresser so he can start learning to put his own clothes away/getting them out himself.

Where are his toys/books? His room looks really sparse. Do you still need the rocking chair?

Bottom line I wouldn't try to make it so that it will grow with him - I would just do something that fits him now (and I wouldn't spend a lot of money on it) and update as you go.

Take him shopping for the bed and the bedding. You want to have done some research first, so you are offering him a choice of A or B, not everything in the store. My son was really thrilled when he got him a bed from IKEA and let him help build it. He was a big lego fan, so looking at the instructions for a real piece of furniture for him was a really big deal.

Sheets are unlikely to last much more than 5 years, possibly 8, so that's a good place to invest in kid things like dinosaurs. You don't want to put anything on the walls, other than paint and art, because themed wallpaper (like Dino wallpaper) will not age well. A duvet cover is another place for stuff themed for his age.

Framed posters on the wall are a good source of art. You can change them out later, when his tastes change.

I'm actually surprised a 4 year old boy can still fit in the crib.

Lots of kids love big boxes (like the one his bed or mattress might come in) as forts.

He will need a desk in a few years, so unless he's going to do his homework in the kitchen, make sure you have space for one.

It should be easy to get a four year old excited about new stuff for his room. It's a matter of selling it. Letting him choose it helps. Also, point out that he's becoming a big boy and needs a big boy bed.

Forget pintrest and the world of perfect kids rooms. You already know better than most that the best thing about this room will be the quality of time he and you spend in it, not what it looks like.

It sounds like he and you both need to let this evolve organically. Get a bed. Put it in the room now along with the crib. Let him pick out sheets and a comforter for it. Take naps there together. Get a tent top for it. I bet he'll naturally ease out of the crib and into the bed.

Get some posters he likes. Hang those nice rows of bookshelves from your inspo picture. It will look like a kids room, not a magazine worthy room. It will bring him the comfort and security he craves in an age appropriate way.

Hang in there. I get how in the midst of grief each step feels monumentally important.

Sadly the toddler rail to his bed has been discontinued. I searched all over the internet looking for one. I found a cute Jenny Lind Bed from Crate and Barrel, but I didn’t know how to connect a tent with it. We tried a bunk bed when we went on vacation and he was terrified of heights. Would I want to keep the bed in the same position as where the crib is currently or should I try the back corner near the window?

I keep his toys out of his bedroom and reserve them for only his playroom. I was going to make a corner for like a calm down space where he can read. Grief definitely comes in waves. I know he’s not a baby anymore but it’s the thought of giving up the crib and knowing I’m done having children. I’m doing for him what I didn’t get to do with my first which is nice, but the creativity block has hit me hard.

Oh Aimee, of course the grief comes in waves, and the creativity is blocked becasue that grief is there. And you are mourning more than just the loss of this beautiful boy but the future babies too as you say good bye to a crib and take this next step. Together you will create a new space for both of you to enjoy.

Don't rush him or rush this process. There is nothing wrong with using that crib mattress on the floor or creating a space with that crib where he can slowly give it up. Be good to yourself, this is not easy.

Keep the crib where it is now, but move it down slightly towards the closet door. Add the bed along the window wall. Very little has to change in this room right now. It is just the addition of a bed. Think of it like a new toy he gets to play around with. He'll pick it up when he wants to and get used to it.

I researched bed top tents for my little next door neighbor who is autistic. She LOVED it. She ended up with one like this, which certainly seems like it could fit well on a Jenny Lind bed. Watch the set up video. I think different companies make ones like these in various colors and themes.

So I’m circling back because I think I’m narrowing down what I’m thinking. I really like the idea of the wooden wall now. I bought him a name sign to go on the wall where his bed will be. I think I may forgo wallpaper just because he may change his mind a thousand times. I just need to decide what to do for the side walls. Like do board and batton them or just find a coordinating color to go with the blue? I did buy that bedding set you see in the picture and I also ordered the “every hero has a story” sign and will build the wall shelves for books, and I bought superhero framed art as well.

the bed will be a journey. I think a wooden twin poster bed is practical, but then with an Ikea Kura i can do a bed tent with it. My husband said he can make him a tent to put over it with pvc pipes, but im like how will that work because i can't sew.

Love it. Love that as Hero he has a story. Good job Mom especially on mother's day weekend.

Thanks for updating us. Sounds like it is coming together and now has a direction. Great sign - every hero has a story. Don't worry about not sewing. I always find ways around it myself. What about peel and stick velco to adhere fabric together?

Your situation points to why those cribs that convert into youth beds are a sound idea. I can imagine getting him out of the crib at 4 will be a challenge. It seems to me the 'big boy bed' will have to be very intriguing for him to willingly make the switch. The problem with these themed out of the ordinary beds is their cute turns very odd as your son grows and will force yet another change sooner vs later. How you got here is very understandable and my heart breaks for you. As you noted it is time to allow your living son grow and become. God's strenght on your journey.

Last thought here.....

I'm usually not a fan of the short term, and like full or queen in a boy room as a once and done. . But?!!! For 329.00 and a couple years? Sell it when you are done! You could have a lot of fun with this. From sheets and a little Stitch Witchery and an iron? You could tent/fort this with no effort at all. Instant fort!

In kindergarten? Just take off the top: )

For 39.99 Amazon? and some black rope ?

You could tie these on to that frame..: ) tacky? Yeah!!! Like you care, as long as he's jumping up and down happy?!

Would I do it? You bet, and in a heartbeat. Because you are going to change this room five times, before he heads to college.

You can do the same...with super hero's. Don't forget the decals, and most important? None of this lasts....it's childhood and it is fleeting. Have a blast..read in the fort, together. THAT'S "Perfect": )