"Any thoughts on where to
Look to get design ideas for empty nesters?"

Do you mean house plans?

" Any thoughts on where to Look to get design ideas for empty nesters? "

I would find a local architect and take your lists of wants and needs to him. Not a fan of the "plan mills" personally.

I second @millworkman. If you're building from scratch, this is exactly the value they provide.

We have a MCM ranch with walk out lower level But we bought it becuase we could if needed live on the main level . it has 1800 sq ft 3 bedrooms ahuge LR and really great kitchen and a DR, the main bedroom is large with ensuite and a great walkin closet the othe rbedrooms are guest room and right now a bedroom for our great grand son when he visits . It is along low ranch in a layout I love the bedrooms all at one end and the living space where it is best .Get an architect to design a space that is perfect for you. I love the fact that we also have a main floor laundry .

Yes! We do plan to use an architect 😊 just trying to think of thoughtful design ideas for this chapter in our lives. Thank you!

Engage a competent local architect. They will provide you with "thoughtful design ideas" and drag the best thoughtful design ideas out of you.

I thought "a zero entry ranch home" is a one story house that you can not get into.

Bedrooms with reach-in closets with bi-fold doors are great flex spaces. They can be offices, craft rooms, media room/guest room. If possible, have two bedrooms with en-suite bathrooms on the main floor. One for you, one for a live-in caregiver if ever needed.

Mcarroll16 thank you!! I was thinking of an extra bedroom on the main level and an extra full bath with a closet big enough for pack and play for grandkids to nap/sleep. I could use it for an office right now and could be a guest room in the future. Never thought of caregiver! Great idea!

My MIL built an age-in-place home, and is getting to the point where some of these features are really coming in to play. So it's an issue I've given thought to!

I think your question is good— you seem to be asking how to get more focused on how you and visit ing family might like to live/ hang out, maybe be thinking what you and DH hope the house will “ do” for you & your activities. These are things an architect can ask you about and draw out of you, but it’s ok to start making a list of these sorts of things, even partially- baked ones, which is not the same as telling the architect how to execute it.

Things like where & what times of day you most enjoy natural light; do you prefer a tv room “ away” from kitchen, or an adult- visiting space at time when kids get to watch cartoons or their own movie; puzzle space, craft or hobby space—not specifying a ROOM but how to have a space, perhaps a flex space.

Are you a gardener or veggie- grower, or herb& salad pots-/ affects orientation on the lot, access to outdoors, perhaps a shed or garage space, mudroom even if a tiny area, or, not. You keep saying “ the main level”— will there be basement/ walkout or 2nd story? Stairs can be great for kid-spaces . But not too big to manage or pay for cleaning & HVAC. This especially as grandkids grow up more.

You’ll likely have a separate kitchen designer, but there’s a lot of overlap as to location of kitchen, windows, whether you want a really open room or prefer some separation.

Probably you are downsizing? But still have ideas about what you need to store. Less likely to want to keep a lot of seasonal stuff up in an attic with pull- down stairs! Or maybe you have some cherished furniture you are keeping, so want rooms that accommodate that. Or, creat rooms where you don’t have to en up on HOUZZ asking, where on earth do I put my TV in this room where fireplace is on the best wall, or, I can’t fit a normal sofa , chairs , whatever. Plus indicate whether you like reading LAMPS & such ( because most new builds don’t plan for any such thing), and also recognize we need MORE LIGHT as we get older, best on dimmers but able to crank it up. Do you want a very comfortable cozy place for you regular meals for 2, and then for gatherings, do you hope for a big family table , or could live with deploying some occasional tables, “ TV tables”, C-tables. And aiming for decor that doesn’t rely heavily on rugs, which could be trip hazards. And fewer if any different flooring materials, each needing separate cleaning method.

The majority of my business is designing, building, and remodeling homes for empty nester clients (I'm just a year or two away from that class of homeowners myself.) I'll suggest a couple of books that you might find helpful and inspirational: "The Not So Big House" by Sarah Susanka; "The House to Ourselves: Reinventing Home Once the Kids Are Gone" by Todd Lawson and Tom Connor, and "The Brand New House Book" by Katherine Salant.

• Zero entry is good
• Decent sized shower with large door, LOTS of plywood backing behind tile for grab bars in bathrooms
• Manage the space around your toilets / plan for grab bars. think about managing with a walker in at least ONE bathroom.
• Many folks will likely have a hip or knee replacement and need some temporary assistance. These things will make your life better / easier.
• I have a huge closet that is a code legal bedroom - it connects to a hall and the master bath. It could easily serve as separate master or for a closely monitoring caregiver if needed.
• Wide halls
• hardwoods or other hard surfaces with minimal thresholds to minimize trip hazards (and ease of cleaning)
• In the kitchen, plan for safety. I have side opening ovens at counter level. No bending, and no long reach over a hot door that opens down.
• Flexible rooms are great - a craft room that can be a spare bedroom, or an exercise room with a pull out sofa. All keep things fully utilized.
• Love the statement about lots of lighting. (I go to my parents and it's always so dark - what the heck? it's not due to a lack of light fixtures!)
• An architect to design a house for the lot, your lifestyle and will "just work". It will bring you tremendous joy
• WHERE you build is important too - access to healthcare and activities.

CRH, I have the Not So Big House book and love it! Lots of “ flex” type ideas and conversely, designing for furnishings you know you plan to incorporate- pianos, desks overlooking a garden, dressers ( not sure those exact things are in there, but it’s the idea). Rooms that can be both closed off or open wide to adjacent room.

Perhaps a more accurate description would be "a zero step entry ranch home".

Perhaps a more accurate description would be "a zero step entry ranch home".

Really hung up on this verbiage, huh? Everyone else seemed to get it.

It’s just humor, just janni.

I get Mark.

Having just built our forever-age-in-place home, we did: zero-entry garage and front door, 48" hallways, 36" doorways, zero-entry showers in ALL bathrooms, main-level living primary and guest bedrooms (N/A since you're building a ranch), blocking for grab bars in the future in both our BA and one guest BA, extra space around the primary BA toilet in case we're ever wheelchair-bound, side-open double ovens, below-counter microwave, hardwood floors, lots of lighting on separate circuits with dimmers, outlet covers with little sensor lights on the bottom so you're not stumbling around in the dark, and probably some other things that I'll think of after I think about it for a little while longer. :-)

Ordered the Not So Big House book! These are great tips ! Writing them all down !

I think it is also interesting to do research on Universal design. However, I haven’t found a lot of house plans that have impressed me. I did find it interesting what people talk about with respect to roll in showers and having room for which way the door swings if you have a caregiver helping you shower. Considering I help my 84-year-old mother shower, I know it’s a challenge. She has a shower seat. The bench that we had put in at the back of the shower just does not work for her.

Following for ideas for myself

"Really hung up on this verbiage, huh? Everyone else seemed to get it."

Words have meanings. If I had a client ask for a "a zero entry ranch home" I would have to ask them, "What do you mean?" Accurate communication tends to produce better design.

Love the home health RN perspective!

Windows looking out at the world is so important. My MIL lives in a rental house of ours - one of my spring activities was installing a blue bird house directly out her kitchen window.

You are asking about how to have room for your grandchildren but not dedicated space? I don't think you need room for them. Sleep overs mean roughing it a bit. When my parents left the only home they ever owed they got a three bedroom apartment. One for them to sleep in one room each for them to have THEIR own space. Between the two 'offices' is a full bath. If they had put a fold out couch in one of these dens or in the living room they would have the ability to entertain a sleep over. I would lean that way if I were making these decisions. You state CLEARLY you don't need/want to bring with you space for your CHILDREN why would you dedicate space for little ones that will visit seldom enough it's just not necessary?

I would be thinking in terms of a convertible/multi use den.

One of the best things you can do, especially if you've been in one home for ages?

Look at the new build around you designed for seniors/empty nest. Look at the features.

You know you want no steps. ....okay but!

Where is the near gym, the exercise program that goes with that, as steps are actually good for you, until such time you can not lift a leg, or put weight on a hip and you want that situation as far in the future as possible. Ask your doctor about that, and I am certain you will get a lot of feedback: )

Look at the kitchens, the layouts, the features. Consider natural light and do you love cozy, or more wide openly bright? Will you eat in a lot, or do you love to travel and dine out?

Who hosts the family get together meals?! The holiday events? How large a dining spot do you need or want?

Consider that a bigger primary bath, relative to a big bedroom is far more important. A simple guest room with an ensuite bath takes care of the grand kid sleep overs, but know that kids are like bats. They can sleep upside down and in any sleeping bag, any blow up bed, anything. Do NOT build "around" them, as if they are near? You can baby sit in their house: ) and at some point that usually becomes easier, given sports and after school activities.

What is my point here? You plan, perhaps for the worst, but only to a certain point. Why? Well. Those stories are just too numerous and life is what happens when you planning something else. If you're 65 now? It's a lot of years to ninety or more.

Such great ideas. I’m marking it for myself also, though I “ should have” been more disciplined in selecting my current downsized home - got one level but a steep backyard. Difficult topography in my town.

Anyhoo, I love a lot of Jan’s comments, and others’. Be sure to creat a home for “ living now” as well as aging. Build the wider halls , doors and accessible baths because they “ accommodate “ events, injuries, surgery that are not life- limiting but require recovery. Two en-suites would be great if possible, not so much as permanent caregiver space but allows adult child or older grandchild to stay over conveniently for short term help. But it could be that layout only allows for a nicely designed hall bath. The idea that is rattling around in my head is echoing how you can’t really plan for “ forever” — well, not in one normal downsized home on a budget— but you can build in ways that do “ accommodate “ a fair amount of ongoing living there, and allow for short-term / intermediate term help so some bigger event/ problem may not require EMERGENCY relocation, but have some time to figure out the next step. I agree that grandchildren need more the feeling of welcome and fun things to do, than matched twin beds and insta Nantucket decor. A small toy chest/ space on bookshelf for things that are just for them. A cozy chair ( and lamp) for reading stories- any table for card and board games. Step stools to wash hands. Baking cookies with Grandma. Sleeping bags on carpet are fine, add flashlights for adventure! & blowup beds great too.

I also agree with Jan re: , must exercise very specifically to age well. A home program PLUS a gym or Sr/ community center are ideal. Space at home for yoga mat ( or other) & at least the lighter free weights. That’s mobility for you.

I'm going to like just above : )

We toss around the "forever" word, pretty liberally and we do that at 35, and we do it again at 65, and then again if we find ourselves in a senior facility until the forever IS the end.

Soon, I'm going to help a long time friend , older, someone I once worked for long ago, relocate to senior housing. She's mobile, can haul 20 city blocks! Has all her faculties to the max, and is going from a highly urban locale to a bit more mid sized will be a bit of culture shock, but put her nearer to family for other medical issues having NOT ONE THING to do with mobility or mind compromise.

Every single person ,( including my own parents) I've helped do this, and the reasons vary(?) Every single one "planned" to age in place, to live somewhere until they died, to do this, to do that.

It's laughable, how much control we believe we have, and how life can surprise. You just do the best you can, not with the "no plan whatsoever" plan, but not so overwrought you forget to live in THIS moment. which are the moments we do have. Not yesterday, and not a guarantee of tomorrow or even what that tomorrow may bring.

Live......: ) and do not forget to laugh.

When you have your bathrooms built, put the grab bars in. Don't wait until you fall. It can take several days to schedule an installer.

Design the bathroom so you can get to everything while holding on to something, whether it’s a walker, rollator, cane, or the countertop, and hopefully there is someplace to park the assistive device while you do whatever it is you are doing.

And all this talk about walkers and wheelchairs (if you do indeed get to stay in your home til the very end, these tools are likely)...it is one thing to consider 36" doorways, but they don't work if the interior spaces do not allow turning corners, etc.. If you cannot roll up to the toilet from the front with space on the side too, it's almost worthless. Same with a shower. You probably won't roll your wheelchair into shower, but will either slide onto a shower chair with a caretaker's help, or use a special chair specifically for showers. So interior angles matter.

I was in a wheelchair twice for long periods of time. Will likely be in them again. Even "handicapped" public bathrooms often were unusable because of the space inside--which is why many of them are the size of a 1940s bedroom. The ones that weren't/aren't, my Dh could not get beside me to help me, since my wheelchair blocked his way. He'd have to back in, pick me up, turn around and set me down without hurting me, too. And this afforded zero privacy in public places.

The home we are in now was impossible for me, so the home we are building, keeps that all in mind. We do have stairs to an upstairs that may oneday be closed off except for guests. We also have stairs to the exterior doors. Ramps can be added later, but now, as folks have pointed out, stairs help keep us in shape (and out of flood waters on piers.) We've put in ADA grab bar toilet paper holders and prettier ADA shower bars, so I don't have to have those giant ugly ones ever again.

My 84 year old father hoped to live in his home of 40 years, til he died, but a recent illness has left him too weak to walk. He's in the hospital and we are considering his options. We can modify his current home for him to live on the first floor only in a wheelchair, build a ramp to his back doors (HOA won't allow front), smash out the main level full bath, and redesign it...lower the stoves, etc,etc,etc. It's possible. But assisted living with an independent apartment setting makes more sense, and may be a wiser choice for all those folks who hope to stay in their homes.

I doh’t think it’s legal for your dad’s HOA to say he can’t build a ramp to his front door. ADA and all that. Just sayin.

Tour 55+ developments for well refined & cost effective ideas to develop a list of likes and don't likes. This used to be the exclusive domain of Del Webb only but now many builders produce such as Toll Brothers.

Hubby and I are recent empty nesters and just finished building our home last fall. When we met with our architect I handed him two lists. The first list was things I wanted, from the “must haves” to the “would be nice.” The second list was my “these will not be acceptable,” list and our architect said he wished everyone included that list.

You have gotten a lot of good advice here. The only thing I'll add or emphasize is that where my father lived until he died didn't have steps to the entry, but the house did have one or two steps down into the garage. He didn't drive the last year or two, but his wife took him to doctor's appointments and on errands, so he would be going in and out of the garage. The steps were challenging for him and he did fall once - onto his wife. It's a miracle neither one of them broke anything. There have always been steps into the garage everywhere I have lived, so this must be standard construction. I think it can be workable, but have a handrail built in from the beginning. That's not usually done. And TBH, probably people of any age would benefit from that.

@theotherjaye You are right. HOAs cannot stop ADA ramps, but they can define (as their bylaws state) the structure and appearance of it per their review board, and typically, they want it to "blend" in with the neighborhood design. Thus, no metal, no prefab, no plywood or pine, blahblahblah. Either way, assisted living makes more sense at this point.

By the time you are confined to a wheelchair, can't walk, sooooo many other issues come into play.

The cost of modifying your home, the cost of in home care and coverage to manage the necessary hours. This? You don't want to know. Let's put it this way: I lived it with my mom and dad, it burns money like a forest fire, they sometimes show up on time, and sometimes not. They quit the agency, they get fired from the agency, and the ads you see on tv? Don't get me going on this.

By the time you minus OUT the cost of property takes, monthly expenses/home related, food, maintenance for any climate that home is located? You find you can financially benefit from assisted living ; it is the step beyond to memory care or worse that is the REAL killer of resources.

Then you consider those middle of the night emergencies, falls you can't predict, skin tears.... and a lot more.

My dad resisted until I stomped a foot. It was going to kill him staying in their home, or more likely ? Kill me. What happened? He moved, ( with my mom and it WAS a lot smaller ) he adjusted, and he thrived for another 18 months that amazed his doctor. Surprise? My mom died suddenly, he lost his will and did not want to continue dialysis and thus picked his exit . They're together, as they always were, having passed a mere seven weeks apart, 19 years ago.: ) He was never in bound to a wheelchair beyond getting in and out of a doctors appt. The little red one folded into my car. He never went without yours truly.

You've received a lot of good advice that I won't repeat but I want to add one more idea for your "must have" list -- good connections to your outdoor space. Unless you are strictly indoor people, be sure to have a couple of decks, patios, balconies, etc. that you can easily access from a main room. Then you can just step outside from the kitchen or family room for a few minutes with a cup of coffee, glass of wine, or your lunch without trekking through the house. In my experience the easier it is to access my outdoor space the more often I do it. Think about how the house is oriented so your main outdoor space is not blasted by hot afternoon sun or punishing winds. Think about shelter from the elements that will allow you to spend more time outside but won't make the interior dark. These are things your architect can address in the design.

Finally, as an older mid-70's woman watching my friends age, I think my Baby Boomer generation is often unrealistic about what aging looks like. Unless we are lucky enough to suddenly drop dead, there's a good chance we will be unable to live alone in the final years of our lives (yes, some outliers make it to 100 but it's rare). Very few of us will have the means to arrange for full-time, in-home caregivers, gardeners, household managers, etc. We can only expect our adult children to do so much -- they have full-time jobs and their own children to raise, plus they're aging too. At some point most of us will need to move out of our carefully designed retirement homes. So I suggest you design your home so you or your partner can manage a hip replacement or recover from a serious illness, but let go of the assumption that you will both die there. It might make the design process a bit easier.

Good luck on designing your new home. It's going to be wonderful.

What she said: ) bingo and amen to that.

Nothing happens, until it happens to you.

Jan and einportlander make such a good point about "aging in place." It's possible for a time, but I found out about 2 years ago that it's not viable either financially or logistically. My 96 year old Mom was living alone in her home of 62 years where she said she was going to leave "feet first." After numerous falls, hospitalizations, contusions, stitches, broken bones, etc., we realized that she needed care that none of us children was prepared to give. Living in a VERY high cost of living area, in-home care was just not feasible, as her main asset was her home, and she just did not have the financial resources to pay for 24/7 care AND the upkeep of the house. Keep in mind also that in-home care does not provide much socialization, which is a big part of healthy living. We found a very lovely assisted living facility, and once she moved in, she was thriving. She was relieved of all the stress of taking care of the house, cooking, doing laundry, etc. She had lots of friends and activities to fill her days. It was only through the sale of the house, though that she was able to pay for the care. So yes, nothing happens, until it happens to you.

That social word:

The chances of a couple exiting the planet together, are nearly nil. At some point? One is left alone.

So many aging folks fall into a depression, eat less, and less well. They aren't really thriving.

"Oh, I'm just fine! ........yeah, sure you are.

Reminds me of my 96 year old gal pal, and my downsize process with her, five years ago to senior living with " the inmates.....: ) as she termed it.

"I'm very private, you know. I'm not a joiner at all" If only I had a "Benjamin" for every time she said that.

I have to schedule WAY ahead. She has bridge group. She has the dinner with the widows thing......she already told so and so next door...There are drinks on the patio with what's her face.

Truly, she has more going on than I do. She IS thriving.

Best case? Go before you absolutely must GO.: ) My pal was surprised and thanks the heavens every day she joined the .....mmmmm inmates.

Most of my clients are empty nesters, but not yet retired. The challenge is to balance the home design with the clients' lifestyle needs and budget. While the budget is typically well defined, most clients haven't done a good job defining their retirement lifestyle needs. At best they'll come equipped with a wish list. Spouses will sometimes have separate and very different lists (but that's a subject for another post.) Designs based on such lists will often end up as larger homes than the clients currently live in. One of my clients joked that they were downsizing from 4,000 to 5,000 SF. The OP is already thinking about "flex" spaces which helps minimize the larger-than-existing home and larger-than-budget outcomes.

Designers can add considerable value by helping clients think through what their lifestyle needs will be. Where will (retired, empty-nester) clients spend time in their home? What will they do? How often will they entertain? Will that be formal or informal? What size group? What hobbies will they pursue? What are the design requirements for those? Do they really need a ginormous closet when they don't wear suits and ties daily? Will the two of them really need a walk-in pantry sized for a large family, and a restaurant-size kitchen? You get the idea. And don't forget the budget constraint. Engaging the homebuilder or remodeler early in the design process is a good way to reign in the scope, and hopefully achieve the budget objective.

@Jan Moyer and @einportlander Thank you for saying it best! One thing to grasp that I learned too late, if you think you will age in place, and then get to where you cannot walk and have memory issues, you cannot even go into one of the nice places where you can age from independent, to assisted to memory care. If you walk in when you are placed, or even roll in while still mentally capable of guiding and climbing in and out of a wheelchair yourself, these places can accept you. If not, you are relegated to a group home or one of the lessor, true nursing homes, not a retirement community. There is a vast difference between them. So that encourages me personally to consider not staying in my home forever. They have codes about how many people they can accept who need someone else to rescue them during an evacuation. They cannot kick you out, if you become incapable after you are there, but they can reject you at the front end.

When I described what it would take to fix my father's home to be livable in his last years from a wheelchair, I was being a little sarcastic...I agree when we are at the point where we need daily medical attention for the rest of our lives (and not as you say, if we are recuperating from breaking a hip, etc,) assisted living is a better deal and safer....and yes, my MlL fought leaving her house and moving to a "community"; now she is so busy, we hardly see her. And yes, when I needed nursing care at home, your experience was mine, too. More often than not, nurses didn't even show up, or they were nearly useless. (Grateful to all the wonderful professionals we did have.)

Still, a house design that protects an aged homeowner from breaking a hip, or from being unable to reach things, is wise. Though I'm not yet elderly, with my spinal/bone issues, I had to design our new home where most of the things I use daily are placed below my shoulders and above me knees. (Regular dryers and ovens, low and upper shelves are the worst-not impossible, just painful or dangerous). So the OP can consider designing that way, too, since older people have these difficulties, too.

zero-entry showers in ALL bathrooms

Think twice about zero-degree entries /curbless showers. Anyone who's been on this board for long will tell you that we've read loads of stories about contractors who built these poorly ... and flooding issues ensued. These are rare items and few contractors have experience with them. They also require a considerably larger-than-average shower (to allow for the slope). Instead, consider a MINIMAL curb, which is only 2" ... a hospital shower chair can roll over that.

Also consider excusing yourself from cleaning glass and the concerns about hinged doors vs. sliding doors ... and go with a simple shower curtain. It'll add texture, color and pattern to your bathroom. Shower curtains are out of style right now, but they are so much more practical than glass doors.

lots of lighting on separate circuits with dimmers, outlet covers with little sensor lights on the bottom so you're not stumbling around in the dark

Consider, too, motion sensored lights. We have one in our walk-in pantry /laundry, and I love it. When I walk in with grocery bags or an armful of laundry, the light turns on for me ... and a few minutes later, it turns itself off.

She has a shower seat. The bench that we had put in at the back of the shower just does not work for her.

Built-in seats are for the birds. Consider instead a teak stool, which can be moved in /out as you wish. Later, if necessary, you can opt for a hospital shower chair (kinda like a wheelchair for the shower.
Where is the near gym, the exercise program that goes with that, as steps are actually good for you, until such time you can not lift a leg, or put weight on a hip and you want that situation as far in the future as possible.

You never know when you'll lose those abilities. Who'd have thought my healthy husband would've had a stroke at 58? He walks with a limp now (no mobility aids), but I'm glad we live in a one-story house. I wish we didn't have so many stairs to enter the house.

Do NOT build "around" them, as if they are near?

Be realistic about how often your grandchildren will visit. My little fellow stays over about every 3rd weekend. We have a bedroom for him (and need to move him up to a twin bed soon).

One of my friends has a perfect spot for her two grandchildren ... it's kind of flex-room just off her living room ... could have been a pocket office or a big storage room. She has bunk beds for the kids but no closet ... across from the bunks, she has an Ikea cute thing for their toys. It's a great mid-point between a full bedroom and, well, nothing.

When you have your bathrooms built, put the grab bars in. Don't wait until you fall. It can take several days to schedule an installer.

A story: My uncle added grab bars to my grandmother's shower ... worked great, BUT he didn't realize he punctured the waterproofing behind the tile. Years later the house was mine, and I discovered that all the coats in my closet were moldy ... the coat closet "backed up to" the shower. Ripped out the shower ... yep, mold.

The moral: Have your installer place your grab bars when the shower is being built.

And all this talk about walkers and wheelchairs (if you do indeed get to stay in your home til the very end, these tools are likely)...it is one thing to consider 36" doorways, but they don't work if the interior spaces do not allow turning corners, etc..

Consider that a walker is much more likely than a wheelchair.

Consider that -- especially at first -- people tend to need the walker /wheelchair JUST when they leave the house. That is, they can make it around the house, but they need the mobility device when they leave. It's smart to have a "parking place" near the most-used door /mudroom for that walker /wheelchair. It'd be double-smart to have an outlet in this spot.

Consider that 36" doors, being wider, are more difficult for a person with a walker /wheelchair to reach /open /close. My grandmother was in a wheelchair -- kinda, she didn't really use it once she came home -- after her stroke. It fit through the 32" doors just fine.

Best choice: Look for ways to omit doors. For example, no doors on toilets, one large storage room instead of a slew of little closets. Go with pocket doors on spaces that stay open most of the time -- laundry rooms and pantries come to mind.

Not only are turns difficult for people with walkers /wheelchairs, those turns also make it difficult to bring in large pieces of furniture.

We've put in ADA grab bar toilet paper holders and prettier ADA shower bars, so I don't have to have those giant ugly ones ever again.
Another reason to go ahead and put in grab bars while you're building. You'll probably have to order these ... and while you're building you'll have time. If you wait until you NEED them, you won't have time to choose pretty grab bars.
One of my clients joked that they were downsizing from 4,000 to 5,000 SF. The OP is already thinking about "flex" spaces which helps minimize the larger-than-existing home and larger-than-budget outcomes.

We're retired now, and we aren't interested in spending a whole lot of time or money on our house! The cleaning, the taxes. I have a plumber in my hall bathroom right now, and he's going to want 2K from me at the end of the day -- I'd like less of that in my life, not more!

4000-5000 isn't even remotely attractive to me.