How old are you? Are you alone? In what state do you live? If you sell your home, would the proceeds allow for you to move into an over 55 community? And must your choice involve your staying in your present location?

We now live in our downsize. "Chuckle" Big or small, a house still needs the same upkeep.

We love the neighborhood but should (when) we become me, I (wife) couldn't stay in our downsize. It will not be a financial concern, but the upkeep concern.

I recently met a gal while walking the dog. She is alone, (children within a hundred miles).

She took advantage of the spike in property values, sold her house and moved into a very nice

over 55 development. Her choice, rent, not buy, because she wants to test the water. So far, she loves the condo, and will continue to rent, keeping money in low risk investments should she want to own rather than rent.

As someone with aging parents, I would highly recommend buying a condo with less upkeep. My mom recently acknowledged that there was no way she could stay in her house if my sister didn’t live around the corner. Way too much upkeep and things breaking all the time.

My downsize story and how I made it work: This was 10 years ago, but also a tough market. I wanted out of my 120-year-old Victorian house with extensive gardens that seemed to be far from everything. I researched the local areas I wanted to move to and for months looked at many different types of properties – smaller single family houses as well as townhouse/condos. I decided that I didn’t want another SFH so I narrowed it down to townhouse communities with modern floorplans that were near things that mattered to me – a walkable Main Street, parks and trails and easy access to highways, shopping and public transportation. There weren’t many on the market and every property that I was interested in sold in a weekend with bidding wars, and my unsold house put me out of the running every time. I had to make an alternate plan. I was fortunate to sell my house privately to an acquaintance and then I put my downsized stuff in a storage unit and my cat and I moved to a spare bedroom in a friend’s house. At that point I was free to buy without any contingents and within 4 months of selling my old house I was in my new house. It’s about 10 miles from my old house and it's not an over-55 community – where I am they are much more expensive than my original 1980’s-built townhouse, which I renovated to my liking and I love it!

Thanks for sharing your story, Kitchenwitch. I think it shows you were thinking outside the box in a difficult market. I want to clarify that at my financial level, a condo or townhouse isn't a good move because I would be paying both property taxes and HOA fees. I live in a state with high property taxes, and HOA fees can add thousands more to my expenses, which I can't afford. I'm well past retirement age but can't retire yet due to insufficient funds, so I need to lower my expenses as much as possible and add that money to my retirement account. I want to build a small house around 800 square feet in a town that has lower property taxes than my current town. I've gone over this carefully with my financial advisor, who agrees this is the best financial strategy. We also considered moving into an apartment and concluded that a condo, townhouse, or renting would deplete my savings much more than staying in my home. My house gained more than 30% in value over the last year. My equity rose $100,000 just by staying put. I realize that won't happen again in 2025, hence I'm looking for ways to move in the next few months.

HU_97093146 -- I know what you mean about property taxes -- I live in NJ and we pay the highest in the country! My state allows "Senior Freeze" -- I can freeze my property taxes at age 65, which helps. Yes, my HOA goes up every couple of years (it's now at $250/month), but probably so would any housing expenses, and of course it includes the services of lawn mowing, snow shoveling and exterior maintenance -- I did not want to do that anymore! FWIW, my townhouse was much less expensive to buy than a SFH would be, so it worked out. I'm not rich either and I understand how it is to have to watch expenses

Kitchenwitch111---Costs in my state: Condo $300-$500,000 (same as a small house), property tax: up to $3500 (same as small house), HOA $500/mo and up. Apartment: $2000, but there are very few available. Cost to stay in my house in 2024: less than $250 a month with a small senior property tax abatement. The math is clear. But this is all moot because there is a housing crisis across the board, with almost no houses, condos, townhouses, or apartments available. We do have plenty of rural and remote land that has not yet been marketed, so I'm holding out hope for land. In case it matters, I really don't want to live in a building with other people or be subject to HOA rules. I've owned my home for 30 years and want to remain independent as long as I'm able. I would enjoy having a small lawn and small vegetable and flower gardens to care for.

You didnt say how big the lot is, but can you subdivide it? Since you are still working, maybe you can take a loan to build a small home on it or borrow against the existing house and then pay it off when you sell the home. This doesnt help with the tree issue though. Also, building is so expensive right now…

Sounds like you know what you want. Yes, housing has gone up rediculously, but you will be selling your current home and it should sell for at least as much as you will be spending on a smaller home. You will still be living mortgage free.

Rockybird, thanks for your creative idea. I can only subdivide by applying for a lot size variance. I don't want to live in my town, so I wouldn't build a house on my property with the intention of living in it. Regarding a loan, I met with three banks last summer, all supportive of my efforts, and am following their advice, which was to wait until the spring when my credit score, savings, and home value will all be higher. All three of those factors have already occurred in the last 6 months. I have 100% equity in my house and it is valued at more than it will cost to build a small house. I feel confident that the finances will work out. It's the lack of houses and land that's blocking me.

Several people have mentioned the cost of building. My contractor is a close friend. We have an agreement that will result in a lower cost to build the house and prevent cost overruns. I trust this person 100%.

Jennifer Hogan, yes, I do know what I want. Living mortgage, rent, and HOA free is my objective. Money saved has the same value as money in the bank. A smaller house in a different town will also have a lower property tax.

If I could find land and know that building a house was imminent, I would be OK with selling my house now and finding temporary housing. Much of the land I've seen has been difficult to build on (like having a steep ravine), had a strange zigzag shape, was way out in the boondocks, etc. In one year of searching, I found ONE desirable lot. It was sold the first day on the market.

You need an aggressive well connected realtor working for you on both the buy and sell. Good luck!

Good advice, thank you. I've been lax about this because the market is sluggish.

UPDATE. I can't remember exactly when I made my original post last year. In any case, here's an update. (1) After rising precipitously in 2024 (about 50%), my home value leveled off and remained steady in 2025. (2) I now have a HELOC loan plus other financing in place, so I'm ready to make an offer on a home without having to sell my current house first. That greatly simplifies the logistics. (3) The availability of houses and land has shrunk to just about nothing in the past year. The market isn't budging. The last time a suitable house worth looking at came on the market was last August, 5 months ago. I only found three houses to look at in all of 2025, and only a couple of lots. On the positive side, those market conditions confirm that my house will sell quickly. (4) I've done some work on my house (exterior painting and siding replacement). I'm trying NOT to invest in other improvements, especially tree cutting (which would have my house safer but would scar the landscape). But things aren't looking good for moving at this point. Hence the title of my original post remains true: I'm still "stuck in the wrong house."

Given that situation, I may have to adjust my thinking. To shift to the positive qualities of my house: It's on two attractive acres of lawns, gardens, and trees. There are only woods behind the house. There are quiet neighbors on two sides. The noisy neighbor on the other side grew up and stopped creating a commotion. I'm ideally located close to two major grocery stores (5 to 15 minutes), 5 minutes from a hospital, 10 to 30 minutes to a lot of lakes, 45 minutes to mountains and ocean. 45 minutes to 1 hour to major hospitals. This is a scenic area that attracts tourists year round. They say location is everything. At the moment, the main obstacle to staying here is financial: the amount of money it would cost to solve problems like the lack of a front door, cutting down the trees, and repairing the landscape, etc. The house is 97 years old now and last remodeled 30 years ago. Remaining here means my money is tied up in too much house.

I know there are people around the country who are in the same boat. And millions more are worse off than I am. So I'm grateful to have mortgage-free housing. It's just that this wasn't how I imagined spending my last two decades, and I hope things will change.

If you still feel stuck in an unsuitable house, consider selling your house now, moving into a rental and continuing to look at new properties to buy as they are listed. You will be in a strong position to buy (pay cash, close quickly). Good luck!

That would be very risky and expensive. Right now I'm saving about $20,000 a year by NOT renting, and there are almost no apartments for rent. In just the last 2 years I've EARNED $150,000 and saved $40,000 by not moving (house appreciation + rental savings). A HELOC is as good as cash.

THanks for the update.

If the current smallish thing you'd most like to change about your house is to add a front door, have you talked to your contractor friend about giving you an estimate for just that work?

Yes, we've discussed that, though I wouldn't call it "smallish." Unfortunately there's a radiator right under the window that would be best converted to a front door. I was hoping to not invest any money in my current house, but I'm at a dead end with finding a house or land.

Financial comfort level is important. If you anticipate being in a house for 20 more years, looking at your budget and wish list to see what you are comfortable budgeting per year for both repairs and improvements can be a good planning move. You can also look at the cost per day if you stay 20 years. For example, a $1000 expenditure spread out over 20 years comes to less than 14 cents per day.

Some changes may be worth the money to you because they make your house more livable, safer, more convenient, or a happier place to live in, whether the changes are a new kitchen faucet, a new front door, or a flowering pink cherry tree in the front yard.

Ornamental Trees · More Info

Thank you, Apple Pie. I'm beginning to think along those lines.

Since you have 2 acres, is there another home site on your current land? Build your little house, live in your current one until it's finished and move to the new one, then sell.

Honestly, you seem a little stuck in your ways. Something has to give here and I think you need to make some concessions. Having 2 parents that are aging in place, the time to make your home suitable for that is now, not after something happens to necessitate the change. Can you move to another area, or are all friends and family located nearby? You should reconsider a condo. Or just deal with the fact that your home is bigger than what you need and you’re going to need to hire more help as you age to do the housework that you’ve previously been able to handle on your own.

The last time a suitable house worth looking at came on the market was last August, 5 months ago.

Ok, so you know it is possible, there was a suitable home, there will be another. Think of a time frame somewhere between you are moving tomorrow or in 20 years. How about don't make major improvements and something will come on the market in the next year or 18 months? How about you, or a realtor, start reaching out to people to see if they want to sell their home to you? I've certainly been contacted by realtors asking if I want to sell.

45 minutes to an hour to a major hospital sounds like quite a distance to me as you age. Though, I realize I'm spoiled by living in a city, 14 blocks from a top university teaching hospital and a few miles from two others. I guess everyone has their own tolerance levels for such things.

I caution you against the mindset that you have EARNED $150k through appreciation because the only way you are going to access that money is by selling your appreciated home and buying another home that has also appreciated by that much money.

Have you considered what is available in a larger area, perhaps closer to said major hospital?

Our dear friend just left her gorgeous, historic home of 45 years that she painstakingly restored herself, where her best friends lived on the same block, where she walked a block to attend mass daily. She moved 45 minutes away to be closer to her sister. She is renting a condo unit in a building associated with an assisted living facility should she ever need it. Yes, it feels strange for her to be a renter, to move where she has no friends yet, to have a new church. But with age comes change. She's now discovering the joy of not having to be responsible for home repairs, having no grounds to tend to, and she is making new friends quickly. And, the sale of her home will cover her rent for the rest of her life.

I recently had a heart to heart with my sister.

12 years ago she and her husband built their dream home. They built it with aging in place in mind. She says that if she were to build again today the only thing she would change she would make the kitchen island smaller and the aisles wider.

She really did think of everything when she built. She spent a couple of years planning every detail and planned on staying in this home until it was time to go to assisted living.

My sister has lived in the same town her whole life with the exception of going away to college and grad school and spending 5 years in NYC getting her career started. When she had her second baby she moved back home to be close to family. My mom and dad were their to help with the kids whenever needed and loved taking care of the grandbabies.

My sister's girls have both graduated from college and are settled in their lives. The oldest daughter has 2 babies (ages 3&5) and has recently moved to her "20 year home" (The house you live in while you raise your kids). Her daughter didn't come back home. She moved closer to her husband's family and where they had better job opportunities. (My home town kind of died with the steel mills and factories - largest employer is the local hospital).

Her daughter asked her if she would consider moving closer to them. (2 hours away). She needs help with the kids as she and her husband are both working and both have demanding jobs, and she would prefer the kids be with their grandparents after school and on school holidays than with a babysitter or in an after school program.

For the past 5 years my sister has been driving back and forth to help with the kids. Probably drives there 3 times a month and stays for a few days to a week or brings the kids home for a week and drives them back.

My sister would be moving to be closer to the grandkids, but realistically, that is only for the next 10 years or so till the grandkids won't want to hang with grandma and grandpa. She will have to change medical providers who she has seen for years and years. She and her husband will leave their social network of friends and extended family. Houses in the area where my niece lives are far more expensive per sq ft than our home town. She will need to give up her dream home that backs onto the rail trail and is perfect for day to day living and entertaining.

I told her that I see how happy she is when she is with the grandkids and that I can't imagine that anything else will make her life better than being with them every day. The house is just a house. Family and friends will be a phone call away. There are doctors everywhere, but her grandbabies will be little for only a few more years and she needs to spend as much of that time with them as she can.

She is giving up a lot. But she is motivated and will make it work. We have found a few 55+ communities that she can purchase with the proceeds from the sale of her home and are within 8 minutes drive to her daughters home. (We decided 15 minutes is too far if there will be at least 2 round trips per day.) She is watching for one to become available. She won't have the property that backs onto the rail trial, she won't have a basement, she won't have the oversized garage or massive kitchen and pantry, the custom closets, the perfectly thought out storage. She won't have the beautiful wood work in her beloved Tudor style home. She will have a fairly generic box that will be large enough for her and her husband to live in comfortably and enough space to interact with the grandkids. (room for some toys and enough room to work on crafts or do homework . . . )

Maybe you are too focused on what you may be giving up vs what peace of mind you would be gaining if you sold and moved. Maybe you need to broaden the area where you are searching. Maybe there are condos or townhomes or a 55+ community that could work.

Maybe there is another home that is 1600 sf, but laid out in a way that makes aging in place better than your 1600 sf.

Look at the market and think "If I had nowhere else to live and had to buy a home today which home would I buy?" Then really think about why your not buying it today. What is the real objection. Is it really a block to your ability to be happy or just a reluctance to change where you are living?

Hi, not too sure if this might help you out at all. But in my small community many people in the larger homes, rent to travel healthcare workers or grad students. This really helps out with things and. My dear friend does this with grad and law students. As I said, not too sure if it is something you would like or do, but just a simple “out of the box” thought.

My husband and I are only in our early 50s, but when we purchased a NYC coop unit four years ago we said this would be the last place we live. It is perfection. Great size, perfect layout, outstanding views, wonderful light, elevator building, doorman, neighbors on our floor who have become like family. Down to earth community. Incredible dog park, trails, gardens a handful of blocks away. A studio we have purchased down the hall for family or even a caregiver to stay in. Five minute cab ride to a fantastic hospital. Great express train to midtown Manhattan. Garage parking in our building and close access to the highway. Why would we ever, ever, move?

Well, we live on a huge hill. It is a steep hike to get up to the subway and to the store and pharmacy. My back and hips have been killing me for the last few years. I cannot even imagine what life will be like when arthritis sets in.

Last week I happened to take a daytime bus in midtown and noticed that more 25% of the people had walkers. All were seniors. And for the first time I thought, maybe we would need to eventually move somewhere we can more easily walk instead of being in our steep, hilly, more remote neighborhood.

Needs change. You have to adapt to them. In their late 60s my parents moved themselves from their two story home in the suburbs, to an apartment in the city. They did it when they were fit, able, and on their own terms. They gave up a yard, larger den, larger guest room, now have a tiny kitchen. There are pros and cons. It is wonderful when you can weight the pros and cons, make peace with them, and make a move on your own terms, in good health, with enough vitality and time to create your own new life where ever you end up.

Never say never.

" Look at the market and think "If I had nowhere else to live and had to buy a home today which home would I buy?"" I would stay where I am now. In the last two years of searching I've only come across one house in my price range that was better than my current house. Flawed as my house is, in the $300-$350,000 range, most houses in this area are old and in poor condition. My house is old and in decent condition, with a new roof, functioning systems, 2 acres of wooded land, and good curb appeal. There are a lot of moderate-income people looking in this price range. The demand is high and the inventory is very, very low.

In your initial post you list 8 issues. As I see it, these 8 really boil down to two issues….too much house and your discomfort with what's around you. By staying in your current house, you solve none of these. so how unhappy are you? The answer to that would be my motivation to stay or to go.

Blubird, I would say my current situation is marginally tolerable, and it will become impossible as I age. At some point I will no longer have the financial or physical ability to take care of the house and it will lose value. The writing is on the wall.

If you are concerned about your home losing value, would it be best to sell now, move temporarily to an apartment with lease options and continue looking? Do you have someone to help you look? Do you have family or friends you would like to live near? I said to a widow in her late 70’s , “why are you not living near people who love you?” She told me it started her conversations with nieces in another state and she did move close to them. She sent me a note after her move that she was very happy as she was very involved with her family.

An apartment does not make sense. 12 months of rent at $1500 = $18,000. I could make a lot of improvements for that amount of money, after subtracting $3000 in property taxes.

Your original post was made a year ago and you have taken no action yet? And your neighborhood and market have made no improvements/changes? And obviously you’re a year older.

Perhaps you just really don’t want to move.

Have you considered renting your house for a year, while you try apartment living?

Then if you hate it, you can return home, or...

Littlebug: "Your original post was made a year ago and you have taken no action yet?" I don't know how you deduced that. I got my financing in place to be a cash buyer, worked on my house and property constantly to increase the value, looked for houses and land daily in two states, consulted with housing experts and agents, sent out 100 letters to land owners, learned how to make a bid, met with my contractor several times, and downsized my belongings considerably to be ready to move.

" Have you considered renting your house for a year, while you try apartment living?

Then if you hate it, you can return home, or." Again, renting makes no sense. It would seriously deplete my assets. I want to increase, not decrease my wealth.

It is clear you have worked so very hard in the last year to change your situation and you certainly have positioned yourself well for a move. And still two things are true and not changing:

1. "The writing is on the wall." You know this. You have to move. It isn't a question.

2. "In the last two years of searching I've only come across one house in my price range that was better than my current house." Sadly, your price range is not going to get you any thing better than your current home, and likely it may get you less, and maybe much less, of what you want. This is just a hard pill to swallow, but it is true. Your choices are to increase your price range, which sounds totally unfeasible and not realistic. Or, lower your needs and expectations.

It stinks that many people, and a lot of seniors, are in your situation now. Very, very little is on the market. And the cost of housing is going up and up.

I believe all you can do is plan to move to a home that is going to be a major compromise or even a slight disappointment. You will adjust to it and make it your own and make it work for you. Who knows, there could be a silver lining in there somewhere, such as a fantastic new neighbor, or peace of mind that you are setting yourself up well to age in the best location possible.

There are certainly other solutions, and I think the best one will be found by brainstorming every possible solution: investing in my current home to improve its livability, buying a larger tract of land with others to lower the cost per acre and subdividing it , moving to another state, turning my second story into an apartment, building an ADU on my two acres, buying a much cheaper and inferior house and renovating it, buying a four-acre lot and reselling half of it for a profit, buying a large house and home sharing with three co-owners, selling my house and traveling in an RV for a year. And so on! :-)

@treadsoftly, I am impressed by all your actions and planning in the last few months. You'll be ready when a suitable house comes on the market.

As to renting, I meant charging rent to others to live in your house for a year, at a price that doesn’t “cost” you anything to rent something else for yourself.
If the market conditions are right, it could let you experiment with living somewhere else and not eat into your assets.
I also understand that being a “landlord” even for a short period, isn’t necessarily ideal.

With the quite open minded brainstorm in your last comment, I still wonder how you feel about aging 45 min - 1 hour away from a major hospital. And how you feel about the expenses and management of taking care of 1-2 acres of land as you age, whether it is subdivided, has an ADU, is shared with others or not.

Maybe it is really common for people to do this as they age and I'm just too much of a city person to understand. I do have two sets of friends whose parents refused to move off of land as they aged. Things did not end well for either.

Kendrah, people age very differently. There's an old 70 and a young 70. People who have lived in rural areas are sometimes quite rugged after spending a lifetime doing physical labor. Today's seniors---at least some of them---are also very active in things like biking and hiking that keep them young. I'm already 1 hr away from a major hospital and doing fine with that. There is a long list of things you can do to avoid chronic illnesses as you age, such that a hospital is only necessary for planned things like a joint replacement. A heart attack, for example, is only a surprise if you didn't know you had some genetic predisposition. I know other emergencies can happen, but LIFESTYLE is now known to be a much greater determinant of health in old age than your genes. I you eat right (treating food as medicine), exercise right, and sleep right you can be perfectly fine living 1 hour from a major hospital, and many small towns have a small hospital that can treat all kinds of things. Regarding financial management, the right move will improve my finances so I'll be able to hire people to take care of my home and property. That's hard when your too-large house and high property tax are keeping you house rich and cash poor.

Treadsoftly - your name is starting to make sense. I’m sensing analysis paralysis. Maybe time to tread a little less softly and focus on one thing. Those options you listed are just all over the board from taking on more land to living in an RV? I hope I’m not sounding judgmental - maybe you need a life coach type therapist to help you focus on what’s right for you.

"Those options you listed are just all over the board " They were intentionally all over the board in response to a poster's comment, "I believe all you can do is plan to move to a home that is going to be a major compromise." That kind of thinking is defeatist. I already live in a home that's a compromise. I'm determined to IMPROVE my housing situation, not make it worse. My thinking is that the conventional system for finding suitable housing isn't working for a lot of people right now. (Example: I've talked to a lot of realtors, given them a handout of what I'm looking for. Not a single one has gotten back in touch because there is just no housing inventory that ticks even half of my boxes.) I'm trying to think outside the box. Brainstorming is a great way to come up with new ideas to test. If you read the list above of all the things I did in 2025 to find land or a house, you will see that I'm not stuck in "analysis paralysis." Right now I'm focusing intently on another state and negotiating with a friend to find and renovate a house that is in worse condition than I hoped for. My friend's reasoning is that I could add $50,000 to my price range (which I can't afford), or I could go DOWN $50,000 and renovate a house. For example, I could raise my price cap from $350,000 to $400,000 (which would result in a nice but too-large house) or I could lower it to $300,000 or even $250,000 and put $50,000 into renovations. I don't like that idea, but I've seen some very nice renovations on old houses that I wouldn't have thought could be suitably renovated. I hope this discussion is helpful to people who are feeling stuck in an unsuitable home due to market conditions. I know I sound argumentative. My intention is rather to deepen the discussion for people in the same boat.

Re read your original post about the conditions of your current home and area. Moving out of state to be near a friend sounds like a wonderful idea. Best of luck to you!

Your idea of aging and healthcare is a generalist pipe dream but I hope it works out in your favor. If only aging were as simple as you make it out to be - people who have worked rugged lives are fit, people who are old and hike and bike avoid major healthcare needs --many, many people would lead wonderful lives. And, if it were all true, then what is your current concern? Why move at all? Fix up your home to your liking and live on your land as you age without the need for healthcare in your active lifestyle?

No realtor has called you back because nobody wants to have a client whose needs are so unaligned with the current reality of the marketplace.

"No realtor has called you back because nobody wants to have a client whose needs are so unaligned with the current reality of the marketplace." That seems judgmental and unfair. Do you really think it's the fault of senior citizens that there is no suitable housing for them?

There are myriad, complex reasons why there is a lack of suitable housing for seniors. I certainly don't categorically blame seniors for it.

As a result of this dearth of senior housing, the only seniors I know who are able to improve their living situation as they make their last moves are ones with very deep pockets. Most others I know have come to accept the limitations of what the marketplace holds for them and have adjusted their wishlists according to this reality.

(Many seniors I know have also anticipated and financially planned for decades on what life will mean when they are no longer drawing a paycheck and need to reduce their expenses. I worry for my friends in their 50s who are not thinking about this yet!)

My uncle, who happened to live in a very senior friendly home, died suddenly six weeks ago. My cousin listed his home this week. They got five offers in two days. One was from someone one vacation who was only able to see the home via FaceTime. This is not objectively a dream home. But is it a very nice home for seniors looking to age in place and the demand is extremely high. It will be intersting to see how much above asking they received.

"The only seniors I know who are able to improve their living situation as they make their last moves are ones with very deep pockets." This is such a limiting, hopeless, and condescending message to send to seniors, or to anyone trying to improve their life. I believe that our thoughts and our beliefs influence our actions and therefore our outcomes. Words are powerful. Please be careful with the words you send out to people who are searching for something better. A better message is: "Life has gotten difficult for many people today. But not everyone fails. What do you need to do to be among the people who succeed at having a better life?" My own problem-solving system is this: Brainstorm 20 solutions. Put them in order of desirability, with the best one at the top. Start working on them from the top down. Usually you will have solved the problem by the time you get to the fourth or fifth solution. If not, keep going. If it's something you really want, don't stop until you've exhausted all possibilities. In my case solution #1 is to find an existing house and #2 is to build. I'm working actively on both of those. I would be a fool to not capitalize on the equity in my current house to get something better. My current house is my deep pocket. It doesn't work that well for me, but it will work well for someone else. I should thank you, Kendrah: you made me fight back against my own pessimism.

If you are trapped in the binary thinking of pessimism or optimism, sure, this wouldn't make you happy. But if you believe in the power of realistic thinking instead of the power of positive thinking, then you can find a third path. Make the most of what you have, deal with the reality of everyday real estate markets and finance. Figure out how to live with what is, and find happiness through things in addition to your home - relationships, friendships, art, animals, walks in a park, visiting gardens, helping others, whatever floats your boat.

People have to make financial and housing trade offs everyday. You can get stuck in labeling that as pessimism, or make the most of it.

For a good dose of the reality of the senior housing market, check out this report. Words matter and these are realistic ones:

https://www.urban.org/urban-wire/americas-housing-market-failing-older-adults

Positive thinking IS realistic thinking. It begins with acknowledging the reality of what is, and it asks, How can can I go beyond where I am today? You seem determined to defeat my plans and dreams, so we can probably end the discussion with that.

Sorry you feel that way. Best of luck in your path forward.